CHAPTER 21 - TWO SLAPS AND EMMY GETS A TICKLE

GARY

I just about get the door open in time for Brian to virtually shove Justin in. Ruth had told me to take ROR, Roomy Old Reliable to everyone else, tonight. She said they might want to release some tension! ROR has a blacked out partition and no intercom! I shut the door just as Brian starts to pull at Justin’s pants.

BACK IN THE LOUNGE

MEL

Well I never thought I would ever see the day that Brian would say what he did. But as usual, their goldfish memory means they only hear what has just been said.

“How disrespectful! Do you think they were doing that when we were talking…”

“Not unless Brian has three hands.” I assert firmly. “His hand was on Justin’s hip, wasn’t it?!”

Grudgingly, they nod their acceptance of the truth. Michael picks up his glass and takes a sip. “What are you still doing here?” I ask, taking the bottle out of Lindsay’s reach. “I have a busy day tomorrow, so finish that and leave.”

“We still have more to discuss.” Lindsay settles back in the sofa. “The weekend with Ben and Hunter...as we’ve said we aren't happy that Hunter is going to be there. So one of...”

“Tough. This is my weekend and I decide how it’s going to be spent and with whom. Now could you leave or...oh, who the hell is it now?!” I seethe.

“Maybe Brian or Justin coming to collect their dignity!” Lindsay calls out, making Michael laugh.

I stalk to the door, wrenching it open and am surprised to see Carl.

“Dropped Debs and the kids off and came back. Just saw Brian and Justin leave and thought you might need some help.”

I could almost kiss him as on hearing his voice, they both appear ready to leave.

“We’ll revisit this.” Lindsay snipes.

“I’m sure we will. Thanks Carl.”

“Anytime.” He steps aside for them to leave. “Actually, why don’t I drop you two off? Save you hanging around any longer than is necessary.”

CARL’S CAR

CARL

Nobody says a word in the car for which, I am grateful. What I don’t understand about Michael is if he applied himself with as much zeal to finding employment as he does with trying to interfere in Brian’s life, he’d be more successful.

“Carl…” Lindsay leans forward a bit.

“No, I don’t know where they are taking Gus. And even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“That wasn’t what I was going to say. I was going to ask if I can go and see Gus to kiss him goodnight?”

“You already kissed him goodnight when we took them, remember?” I sigh and pull over before turning around to fix them a hard stare. “Let me save you wasting your time tomorrow. Brian and Justin will be around early tomorrow morning to pick Gus up and take him to school, then Justin will pick him up to take him to meet Brian at Kinnetic. Before you start to think of going there, remember you are banned. They will then bring Gus back to his momma’s on Sunday afternoon.”

I restart the engine and the rest of the journey continues in absolute, but coming off them in waves, raging silence.

PETERSON RESIDENCE - 40 MINUTES LATER

MICHAEL

I try Ben again but again, it rolls to voicemail. I’ll be damned if I try Hunter. We just want to know where our children are going to be. Is that too much to ask?!

“I don’t know about you but I’m going to bed.” I grumble. “I still can’t believe the way they acted. Just goes to show that they don’t take parental responsibility seriously!”

“True. Well goodnight. You’ve got to look at properties tomorrow.” She yawns and then stretches. “I’m going to be going around to some galleries to see what openings they have. Then I need to go to the house and get a couple of things Mel doesn’t seem to have packed. Tomorrow is going to be busy-busy!”

THE LOWER LOFT

BRIAN

That truly ranks as one of the best angry-fucks we’ve had! I owe him a pair of his favourite chinos. We got each other off in the car and then we topped each other when we got in. Now we’re in a very sweaty heap by the stairs. He’s slumped across my back and trembling. It took sheer willpower not to collapse when I came.

“Ranks in the top 10 fucks…” I mutter.

“Uh huh.” He runs his hand down my hip. “Want to go again?”

“69?” I feel his cock twitch in my hole before he withdraws and taps my side. I flop inelegantly onto my back.

“Clean up on aisle one. Ouch!” He yelps, when I nip his butt and he looks between his legs at me. “Kiss that better.” He orders and I place a soothing sucking kiss on his plump cheek. “No hickeys; I need to sit tomorrow!” He whimpers and then rocks forward as I part his cheeks and start to lick him clean.

He’s squirming and moaning and I’m feeling neglected! “Hey, a 69 is supposed to be a two-mouth job, so you need to get to sucking. Remember the obey part of our vo...ows!”

No longer feeling neglected!

DEBS & CARL’S HOUSE - EARLY MORNING

CARL

No prizes for guessing who turned up this morning trying to have breakfast with her Lambskin before he goes off with his daddies? Well that was for naught as daddies anticipated that and took him to the diner for a breakfast treat instead. She was not happy!

“But that’s what you told me last night or was that a version of the truth?”

“Lindsay, I am telling you what they said they are doing and now where they are. So if you’re so desperate to see your Lambskin, go to the diner and see him. Now excuse me, I have a shift to go to.” I step onto the porch causing her to step back.

“I guess I’ll walk to the diner then.” She looks meaningfully at me.

“You do that. It looks like a nice day.” I reply before I get in my car and driving off.

DINER

EMMY

“Auntie Emmy, do you know where I’m going after school?”

“No Gussie, I don’t. But even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“But why?” His eyes are wide with disbelief and confusion.

“Because it wouldn’t be a surprise then. And do you know what the best thing about being surprised is?” He shakes his head, his fork almost to his mouth. “The happy feeling in your tummy when you find out what it is.”

Brian snorts but pastes on a smile when Justin glares at him. “Isn’t that right, daddy?” Justin prompts.

“Definitely. I always get a happy feeling in my tummy when Daddy Justin wants to surprise me.” He smirks.

“How does Daddy Justin surprise you, daddy?”

“He lets me make soufflé.” He replies and Justin coughs into his drink.

“Soufflé? That’s a very difficult dish to master…” I nod sagely.

“Oh I don’t know. If you get the rhythm right, it works out fine.”

“Come on Gus, let’s get you to school.” Justin gets up and glowers at Brian rolling his tongue in his cheek. “And if he’s very good, daddy and I will see you later okay.”

“Yes, daddy has to be very good because I want you both to pick me up. I’m so excited!”

Debs comes bustling over. “Lindsay’s on her way.”

“Of course she is.” Justin sighs crossly, taking out his phone and dialing quickly. “Well two can play that game. Lindsay, we’re just about to leave the diner. How far away are you? No, once we pick him up this afternoon, then he’s with us so...you have about 5 minutes.”

In less than 3 minutes, a breathless Lindsay comes in and tries to sweep Gus up into her arms. But while he hugs her, he doesn’t want to be picked up. “Mommy, I have to go to school; I don’t want to be late.”

“I know Lambskin but I’m going to miss you that’s all.”

“Why? You never said that before when I’ve gone to school.” Gus looks worried.

“There’s nothing to worry about Sonny Boy. What mommy meant is that she wanted to meet us for breakfast but couldn’t get here on time. Isn’t that right, mommy?” Brian replies, his eyes showing his anger but his mask of calmness firmly in place.

“Yes, of course. Now Lambskin, have a lovely time with your daddy and…”

“Daddies. They are my daddies, mommy and we really have to go. Please, can we go now daddy?”

“Yes go with Daddy Justin and we’ll both see you later.”

Gus reaches up to kiss his daddy, then Debs, then me and then daddy again before Justin scoops him up and runs to the car, laughing.

“Emmy, I’ve got yours.” Brian pulls out a couple of twenties and hands them to me before turning to Lindsay.

“Don’t you ever do that again.” His voice is low and controlled so only we can hear. Debs immediately picks up on the tension across the room but a shake of my head keeps her over there. “Do you understand me, Lindsay?”

“I just wanted to…”

“Never ever again. The answer is either yes I will or no I won’t. Pick wisely!” He snarls.

“No, I won’t.” She replies quietly, but she’s absolutely fuming.

“Emmy Lou, see you later. Debs, do not stock the fridge, his butt is the perfect weight!”

“Get outta here and leave me to do my thing!” She flaps the cloth at him before she grins as Ruth comes in. “Over there!” She points to us and Lindsay rolls her eyes.

Ruth doesn't look happy. “Just saw a highly pissed off Brian and now I see you. So what the fuck did you do this...actually Ems, what did she do?”

When I finish telling her, she rubs her temples and I make a mental note to ask her where she got that fabulous nail colour from. When she does speak to Lindsay her voice is low. Methinks someone has been to Kinney School when it comes to contained anger!

“You’re trying to push the buttons of a four year old, who is already confused as to why you're not living with him anymore. Do you get off on hurting people, no matter who they are? He’s your son as you keep espousing to anyone who hasn’t heard it before and…”

The crack of Lindsay’s hand across Ruth’s face, silences the diner. At first, Ruth doesn’t move but when she does it is out of the diner.

“I can’t believe you just did that!” Debs glares at a smug looking Lindsay.

“She had it coming and besides…”

The rest of her sentence disappears into the pot that is now on top of her head! It’s a pot I recognise well, it’s the fat pot from the kitchen and judging by what’s now running down Lindsay’s body, it was full!

The two queens, who had dumped it on her head, look to the door. “This is her, right?”

“Indeed.” Ruth saunters up and hands them $20 each. “Thanks lovelies. No-no, leave the pot on. It’s an improvement.”

“You…” Is all I manage to get out.

“What? I just had my nails done. Ooh, you are going to love this lacquer. I bought you and Debs a bottle each. Now sit and enjoy the show.”

I allow myself to be pushed gently back into the booth and watch as Lindsay struggles to remove the pot from her head. Her frantic movements as her head turns this way and that are starting to make my lips twitch. Her arms flail as she tries to get purchase on the pot to haul it off her head, but because of the grease covering her hands and the heaviness of said pot, she’s failing miserably.

“We can’t leave her like that! She might drown!” Debs manages to gasp out.

“No she won’t but she will need a deep clean. Who wants to earn $50?” She calls out and several hands go up in the air. She picks one. “Can you run fast?” He nods. “Okay, go to the fire station and ask for Broad and tell him that Ruth says bring the hose to the diner. $25 now and the rest when you get back with him.”

During the conversation, Lindsay has managed to get the pot off her head and it clangs to the floor. The vision that we see has Debs scurrying to the office, howling with laughter, which judging by the way Lindsay is trying to slick the grease out of her ears she can’t hear.

“Wkhi hie boii s yiht e!” She splutters before unwisely deciding to move. She ends up on her ass.

“Most folk with an ass that flat, would not wish it to be flatter.” Ruth muses.

Lindsay’s attempts to stand up, fail twice. But she does get onto her hands and knees. She tries to haul herself up by using the side of a booth. Unfortunately, greasy hands and wood doth not a good purchase make. And for a minute, she looks like she’s trying to fast milk a wooden cow, her hands slide so much!

She sits down on the floor, trying to plan her next move and decides, again unwisely, to use the seat as an option. She slides along until she’s in front of the seat and tries to slide onto it. While she makes it onto the seat, the grease means she’s quickly off it and this time under the table!

There’s a thud as she hits the floor and another clunk a few minutes later as she makes contact with the table. As she starts to back out from under it, someone starts to make a beeping noise and another intones large vehicle reversing, caution large vehicle reversing.

When she emerges in all her glory, she has acquired several bits of detritus to go with the grease. The door opens and the kid is back and my-oh-my look what he’s back with!

“Hey Ruth, this kid said…” He stares at Lindsay’s form, who is trying to do clean up but is just spreading the mess around her person. “What is that?”

“What the hose is needed for. It is called Lindsay, or in some circles, the dumbass bitch that slapped me.” I nudge her sharply in the ribs. “And this southern streak of gorgeousness is called Emmett. Emmett meet Lucas Broad...and he is.” She smirks.

Debs is now back out and she and the cook try and help Lindsay to stand up but because of the grease and her struggling, it is literally like trying to get hold of a greased pig and I can’t help it... I start to cackle, which sets Ruth off and soon the diner erupts into roaring laughter!

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” Carl’s shout instantly kills the mood.

“Barl!” Lindsay shrieks. “Barl hlns tbe!”

“Lindsay? Lindsay, is that you?!”

“She slapped me so I slapped her back.” Ruth replies.

“Fair enough.” Carl looks around the diner. “Let’s take her out back. Lindsay, stop moving because you’re…” She lands on her ass again. “Most likely going to fall.”

“Okay people! Let’s get a paper trail laid so we can get her outside!” Debs orders and now Lindsay has Pittsburgh Out stuck to the soles of her feet!

BACK FORECOURT OF THE DINER

CARL

Lindsay finally makes it outside. She looks like she’s been tarred and feathered! I turn to Ems. “So what happened?”

“Exactly what she said. She was giving Gus the WASP treatment, trying to find out where they were going but Brian slapped that down. He left and bumped into Ruth, who came here and asked what happened. When I told her, Ruth was berating her for upsetting Gus and Lindsay slapped her. I have to admit, I thought she would punch her back but this was so much better!”

Carl nods, rapidly losing control of his professional demeanour as Lindsay tries to scrape the grease out of her hair.

“Debs, tell the bitch to stand still.” Ruth nudges her.

I turn round as I hear beeping and a fire truck pulls up.

“This needed the big guns Ruth!” A guy calls out and she nods.

“Who’s that?” I ask and then shake my head. “Ruth! Can you tell me who that is as Ems has lost the power of speech?!”

“Lucas he is Broad.” She smiles at the transfixed expression on Ems’ face.

There is a crowd by the back door and by the fire truck as Lucas approaches Lindsay with a very large hose and nods. The first blast of water and foam pins Lindsay to the wall and her blood curdling scream then quick switch off says to me that the water was cold! Lindsay is a shivering heap on the floor!

“WARM WATER!” Lucas bellows to his crew. The look he gives them, stops their messing around. “You two help her up!”

They haul her to her feet and he tries again. Fifteen minutes later, we have a Lindsay Snowwoman. A very unladylike, judging by the curses coming out of her mouth, snowwoman!

“Now just the water! And make sure it’s warm!” Lucas orders.

Soon the Lindsay we are used to emerges, sodden through but grease free!

She pushes her hair off her face and storms up to me. “Her! She did this to me!” She yells, pointing at Ruth.

“And you want me to do what?” I ask.

“Arrest her!” She shrieks.

“For getting you cleaned up after two mystery assailants dumped a pot of grease on your head? That doesn’t make sense to me.”

She opens then closes her mouth. “I know it was you!” She snarls at Ruth.

“You just have to prove it.” Ems points out. “As when that happened to you, Ruth wasn’t in the diner.”

She looks around and people are nodding. “I know you fucking did this. And you will pay!” She barks at Ruth, who doesn’t flinch no matter how close Lindsay gets.

“Fine but could you make me pay after you’ve rinsed off Eau de Hog from you. It’s not quite your scent... and you need mouthwash.”

Immediately, she claps her hand over her mouth and heads back into the diner.

“Ruth! We’ve gotta get back! You know what to do, right?!”

“Sure, leave it with me!” She calls back.

Ems sighs as the truck backs out and is gone.

EMMY

Ruth sidles up to me and starts to humming a tune I think I recognise and swaying.

“What is that song?” I demand because I’m going to get an earworm if she doesn’t stop!

“I’ve Got a Little Something for You by MN8.” She hums some more.

“Please stop! Why are you humming it?” I link arms with her as we head back to the diner.

“Because the little something is the number for Lucas. Want it?” She holds out a piece of paper.

“Gimme!”

BEN & HUNTER’S HOUSE

MICHAEL

I am now kicking the door to get them to open it!

“Michael, what the fuck are you doing?” Ben yells down from the window.

“You stole from me! I want my money back!” I shout back up.

“What the fuck are you doing now, Michael?!” Eli rants. “Apart from the making the usual shit show of yourself!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up Eli and go back to your boring prissy life!”

“At least I have a life! Unlike you, who is holding out for someone who doesn’t like you, let alone love you! Instead of treating the decent man who loved you and treated you with respect like you were gold, you tried to step into a world in which you had no place...no place ever at all!”

“You tell him Eli!” Someone shouts out.

“Have you any idea how much of a laughing stock you are on Liberty Avenue and here?! Your obsequious manners when you moved here were sickening and that combined with your oleaginous personality made the Exxon Valdez look like a puddle. You tried to be something you are never going to be. You are and always will be a mommy’s boy playing dress up at adulthood!”

“You said…”

“Anything that would stop you from fucking talking! You did the affectation voice that sounded like nails on a blackboard with an orchestra of cats being gutted! Now we, those people with jobs, have to get ready to go to them! I’m going back to my house and if you are still here in the next 5 minutes, I shall turn my hose on you like the nasty little alley cat you are!”

I just stare incredulously at him, all thoughts of a discussion with Ben forgotten. “How dare you speak to me like that?!”

“Because I can! Four minutes…” He shouts back over his shoulder.

“Michael!” I whirl around to face Ben, who has finally opened the door. “I did not steal from you. I took back the money you owed me! Remember, when you promised to pay me back? Here is the email you sent me and the breakdown of what I paid. You need to read that on your way out of here. Which really should be now as here comes Eli!” He shuts the door quickly.

“Ben?! Ben! Let me in!” I scream as Eli approaches with the hose.

“Start running, alley cat!” Eli shouts.

I grab the paper Ben threw at my feet and take off as fast as I can!