CHAPTER 43 - TIME TO TALK, TIME TO WALK AND WELCOME HOME

TED

I have a pounding headache. I slowly open my eyes and look up. I am surrounded by most of the family and everyone’s looking concerned.

“You are going to have one heck of a goose, Teddy.” Ems looks down at me, a small smile amid the slight frown creasing his forehead. “Can you sit up?”

“What happened?” I mumble as I start to sit up but the wave of nausea hits me and I have to lie back down. “Water.”

“I’ve got it!” Ruth calls out. “Here Ted, sip slowly.” She presses it into my hand.

“You fainted.” Ems explains. “And hit your head on the doorknob on the way down.”

I feel the back of my head and slowly sit up. I look around the room and they’re not here. I have to admit to being disappointed. “The last thing I remember is, because clearly the thing I thought happened didn’t happen, was Carl proposing to Debbie.”

“Thanks for that Schmidt!” I look up and see Brian. “I’m waiting for my answer, Teddy.” He rolls his lips in.

“D-did Ruth...seriously step aside for me?” I can feel my heart start to hammer.

“Yes, she did.” Justin nods. “So answer him already!”

“Yes, absolutely yes!” I start to blubber.

“Good! Now Blake, take your man home and we’ll see you on Wednesday.”

“But Brian, we have…” I know what that look he’s giving me means. “...Zipping and staying at home!” I smile in the face of the Kinney glare and sneer combo. Then I turn to Ruth. “Thank you.”

Ruth gives my hand a squeeze. “No problem, Mr Bear.” She whispers.

MICHAEL & LINDSAY’S APARTMENT - AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

We are both stunned. They know everything! And that donut-chomper is going to be my fucking stepfather!

“Mel?! Mel?! You can’t be serious?! Mel!!” She throws her phone onto the sofa.

“What now?!” I sigh crossly.

“They are not going to allow the children to come here! If we want to see the children, we have to go to either Mel’s or Ben’s!”

“They can’t do that!” I yell back. “I have had enough of this! We need to see an attorney and…”

“Say what?! That we both cheated on our respective spouses, which they now know about?! You don’t have a job; I’m still in my probationary period and oh yes, she’s backed by his fucking millionaire of a father!”

“But Brian wouldn’t…”

“Brian has and Brian fucking will!”

“So what do we do now?” I sit down hard and hear the crunch.

“Well first thing in the morning, you are replacing my fucking phone!” She snaps and slams into her bedroom.

LINDSAY’S BEDROOM

LINDSAY

This evening couldn’t have possibly… no, it didn’t happen! It couldn’t have done! I refuse to believe it did! I take a few breaths and feel my heart rate slow down. I sit on the bed and reread the reviews of the Rathman show, feeling the steam once again rising within me. What Justin fails to remember is that if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have gotten the start he did and I think it’s time I reminded him of that fortuitous sale. Now if only I could find out who it was?

And I suppose I should apologise to Michael and blame the surprises of the evening. I need his money to keep me here but once I’m in Britin, he’s history. Ben was very silly to point out that I hadn’t quite secured myself, but now that I have; now that we have the joint bank account, I am happy. I reach under the bed and pull out the shoebox. What a gorgeous pair of suede pumps they are! And they were on sale too and only cost Michael $200. I have to restock my wardrobe for when Brian and I are amongst the denizens of the art world. Managing Justin’s career will be such a glorious endeavour. Gorgeous man, fabulous wealth and a famous artist all within my grasp and control. I just have to prepare while being patient and that shouldn’t be too hard...well as long as I’m not spending any of my own money for living expenses such as shelter. No...that’s Michael’s job.

MEL’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

LOUNGE

MEL

I have calmed down a bit, but not by much. Why the fuck doesn’t she just admit that she’s bisexual and get it over with?! I am also mad at myself because deep down, I knew she was and that’s why I was so mad at Brian. I was just waiting for a repeat performance from their college years.

But I am seeing things clearer now.

“Momma, when is mommy coming?”

“Soon Gussie. And Uncle Ben and Hunter are coming too.”

“Momma, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

“You know about the wedding of grandma and grandpa? Can I say something?”

I frown. “What do you mean say something?”

“Daddy said that I can say something at their blessing, so can I say something at their wedding too?”

“Oh, you want to make a speech?”

“Yes! Yes that’s it! Now that Gummy can talk we want to say something.”

“Yes…” I swallow down my tears. “Yes, I’m sure they would love that.”

“Oh an ‘nother thing!” He gasps. “Meant to say this first! Daddy and papa seem to be stuck. You need to help them get unsticked! Papa was making these funny noises...though he kept telling daddy not to stop. Can I go outside and play now?”

“Uh yeah!” I cringe and wince as he trots outside to the garden. I run upstairs and find the door to the spare room slightly ajar. “Guys!” I hiss and wait for them give me the go ahead to come in. I am almost knocked back by the smell. “First, open the window!” I laugh and for once, don’t blench when Brian gets up naked as a jaybird to do so. “Secondly, close the door when you decide to do that here. Gus saw you!”

“Oh Christ, you are kidding?!” Justin burrows under the blanket in embarrassment.

“No, I’m not. But he took it in his stride and sent me to get you ‘unsticked.’”

“Okay, let us just have a shower and we’ll be right down.” Brian laughs.

“See you in a minute.” I grin and walk out, shaking my head. And then it hits me! I have just given Brian permission to fuck in my house!

Forty minutes later, Lindsay and Michael turn up, naturally, as if they have done no wrong!

“Mel, may we talk to you in private?” Lindsay asks obsequiously.

“Is this about the children?”

“Yes. But…”

“Guys, parental talk time!” I call out before turning back to them. “You two go and say hi to the kids and then join us in the lounge.”

LOUNGE

LINDSAY

We head back to the lounge and find not only no Mel, Brian, Ben or Justin but instead Jennifer, Debs, Carl, a woman I don’t know and my parents!

“What is this?” I ask uneasily.

“Like Mel said it’s parental talk time.” Mother retorts and runs her hands through her hair. “And we’re the parents, so we are going to talk. You, in turn, will keep your mouths shut and listen. Who wants to go first?”

“That would be me.” Jennifer clears her throat. “Let me make this very clear to you Lindsay... You are not going to be running my son’s career. He is more than capable - as has been proved - of doing this by himself. Yes, you got lucky with Rathman but he still could’ve walked away. If he needs any help, he has Cassia, you know your ex’s new girlfriend, for that. He doesn’t need you. If it hadn’t have been you, it would’ve been someone else. Stage-mother someone else or better yet, buy a damn clue! Stop meddling or I will do what should have been done eons ago and open a gallon can of whoop-ass on you!”

“I discovered him! He sold his first piece because of me!” I hiss.

“Oh the irony of those oft repeated words. Good God, with the size of your ego, it’s a wonder that your mind has room to think of anything else, like how to be the grasping little bitch you are! But let’s get out the metaphorical broom to clear out the tangled cobwebs you’ve invented and get some clarity, shall we dear? You didn’t discover him, Lindsay. He discovered you! He was on Liberty Avenue looking for Brian and he found you! And you took advantage of his need to find Brian, and brought him to your home. Once you suggested he show his stuff, which again he could’ve refused, you told him that Brian wouldn't come to the show, didn't you? And yet it was because of Brian, not you, that he sold his first piece.”

“How do you work that out?!” I scoff.

“Well, who do you think bought it?” Her tinkling laugh is like bleach on an open wound.

“And Michael, if you had just kept quiet instead of running your mouth, as per usual, he would’ve gotten over it quicker.” She laughs again.

“What do you mean?”

“By telling Justin that Brian didn’t do boyfriends you gave him a challenge, which he accepted and ultimately won. My Justin has never been one to follow the advice or example of failures. He has more guts and sense than that, after all. I mean...look at the two of you. I’m done now, Nancy.”

“Who is next?” Mother asks.

“Me.” Carl stands up. “I love your mother Michael, whether you like it or not! I am going to marry her whether you like it or not. I have all the permission I need so yours isn’t warranted. You know, I used to like you. I used to think that you were a kind and caring young man. But behind that veneer of innocence is a jealous spoilt overgrown baby! Get this understood real quick-like... Justin is it for him like your mother is it for me. If you can’t accept that,  then do us and most especially yourself a favour be happy and move on in your life; but as well as that step out of ours and leave us alone!”

“Ma!” Michael looks as horrified as he sounds. “You’re actually going to let him order me around… to speak to me, your son, like this?!

“You heard my fiancé. Either be happy and supportive or walk away. I’m done Michael, I really am. It’s my time now. Carl makes me happy! Why can’t you see that?”

“Now Lindsay, I have heard about your dalliance and your behaviour since that wedding in Heavenly. You didn’t take me seriously then so perhaps you will take me seriously now. One more, just one more, call that I receive from anybody about you and you are cut off...no social connections, no money, no nothing. Do you understand?”

“Mother!” I gasp and sit down.

“Yes or no?” Daddy demands.

“Yes, I understand.” I mutter.

“I know you Lindsay. You are sitting there, trying to work your way around this. Let me assure you that there isn’t any. Modern technology is a wonderful thing. You would try to go to court and tell them your hard luck story according to Princess Lindsay, equipped with tears and tissues. But that will all be for naught, dear. The camera never lies.” Daddy retorts.

“Gilda, can you wrap this up for us please?” Mother asks.

“Of course, and thank you Nancy.” She turns to face us both. “Stop coming after my kid…”

I gasp. “You’re Ruth’s mother?”

“Yeah, I am so know this and hear it well. You hit my little girl and nobody but nobody does that!” I immediately flinch and cover my face. “Oh wow, how quick you are to judge. I ain’t hitting you. I understand that your hand trouble was solved by some oil pot being dumped on your arrogant little head. So, for now, I consider the matter closed. But, either leave her alone, and I mean both of you, or deal with me. And here’s a tip that you should take... you don’t want to do that.”

“Shouldn’t you be arresting her for threatening behaviour?!” Michael exclaims.

“I am not threatening you just promising to make your life a living hell if you don’t leave Ruth alone.”

“And how can you do that?” I sneer.

“Lindsay! Once again, know your enemy! It’s a rule you never did quite grasp.” Daddy interrupts. “Meet Gilda Masterson…”

“And we should care because...?” I roll my eyes.

“You live in the Masterson Towers, two blocks from Tremont.”

“So?” Michael shrugs.

“She owns the building, you dumbass!” Carl retorts.

“Like I said, leave my daughter be.” She glares at me.

Michael and I both nod.

“Mel!” Jennifer calls out and a few minutes later, she comes in. “Could you show Mr and Mrs Peterson out? I do believe everyone has reached an entente cordiale. But Gilda, is there a video of the oil pan incident?”

“But of course! May I have your email addresses so I can show you how the Masterson women handle their shit?

“Of course!” Mother trills. “Maybe I can get some tips too!”

We just sit there staring at each other before I marshal my inner WASP and sigh. “Come on Michael, we have children to play with.”

“How are you so calm after that?!” He demands.

“What makes you think that?!” I retort. “I am fucking furious but for now they hold all the cards but that will change!”

JUSTIN

Mom comes over looking very pleased with herself. “What’s happening? I wasn’t expecting you here today.”

“Hi sweetheart, where is Brian?”

“Oh no you don’t! I know that smug look. It’s classic WASP who’s been a-stinging. What have...Mama G?” I gasp in surprise and that gets Brian’s attention.

“Hello darling boy.” Mama G comes over and gives me a kiss and a hug then doing the same for Brian.

“So what have you two been up to?” Brian puts his hand in my back pocket. “We’ve been C&C blissfully free for the last 40 minutes and judging by the sour expressions on their faces and you two being here, something has happened. So spill!”

“An intervention of sorts. We simply pointed out that if they continued to intervene in the lives of or not accept the choices people make, then they are out. And by out I personally, mean it literally.” Mama G laughs. “I have to say I enjoyed letting the mutinous motley two know exactly who I am.”

“Hmm. You found out about her hitting Ruth, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and I should be mad that you didn’t tell me but she handled it beautifully!” She swats him on his arm and he mock-flinches. “And I shared the video with the other parents!”

“Don’t tell me what happened!” Mom puts her fingers in her ears. “I promised Tucker I would watch it with him.”

“Come on guys!” Debs calls out. “Food is being served up!”

MICHAEL

I am still reeling that she is picking Carl over me...her own son! And for him to ask Brian for her hand instead of me made me so angry! I am determined that this is not going to happen, but for now I shall be a supportive son. Until I can derail it!

CARNEGIE MELLON, STAFF ROOM - WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON

BEN

I have so far resisted the temptation of watching the video. Not because of Lindsay per se because quite frankly, she deserves everything she gets. That’s right, people. Zen Ben isn’t always altruistic; in fact, he can be downright mercenary if needs be. But no, I’ve exercised restraint simply because I would’ve spread it around to the staff in seconds! But it’s getting harder and harder not to, especially when the normally taciturn Millicent confessed that she watched it and pissed herself laughing...literally!

“Come on Ben. You know you want to.” Malia wheedles, waving her phone at me.

I drop my head and then just hold out my hand. “Yay, you need earphones!” I stare at her. “And to bob your head like you’re listening to music if she comes in.”

When she slaps Ruth, I wince but then it happens. Unfortunately, I have a coffee in my hand, which burns on the way up my nose and out! I rewind it a bit and then slow it down when Lindsay confronts Ruth. “Eau de hog!” I snort. “That is priceless!”

“Is that what she said?!” Malia rips out one earphone and places it in her ear. “Go back, I want to see it being spoken.” I obey. “What’s the rest?” She demands.

“You need mouthwash!” I wipe the tears from my eyes. “Has Ginny seen this?”

“Oh hell no! It would be on YouTube in seconds!” Malia laughs. “Millie made us all sign a waiver saying we wouldn’t show it to her. So you need to tell her you’ve watched it.” I chuckle at that. “No Ben, I’m serious you have to tell her so you can sign it.”

“That much?!” I gasp.

“Yeah, she hates her that much and she shown me some of the new dialogue for Rage. Let’s just say, it will become very clear who Justin is thinking of when that issue comes out.”

BRITIN - TWO WEEKS LATER

CARMINE

I gotta hand it to them. If they want shit done, they get shit done! After what happened a couple of weeks ago, Ruth and Greg called in several favours and it’s done. Britin is complete!

I still can’t believe the way those two acted and still haven’t apologised! They behaved like that because their partner was either hurting or trying to give them the life they wanted. So they thought it gave them carte blanche to fuck around?! It would be different if it was an open-relationship. Those have a completely different set of rules. But because their selfish, self-centred asses were feeling left out or left behind, they decided to spread themselves for someone other than the people they were supposed to be committed to? What idiots! The way I was raised is that if there was a problem, you sit the hell down and you talk! You don’t run from the problem, or in their sad sack cases, fuck around. You fix what’s wrong or if you can’t, move on then fuck around. You don’t walk around like your shit don’t stink or that everything is fine but the world owes you something in return for being alive. Only in your deluded queens of fucking everything mind. Your ass ain’t fabulous; it’s fucked up! You have to be self-aware enough to acknowledge there is a problem and not just think you’re slick enough to get your needs met without consequences. Bullshit like that doesn’t even work in fairy tales let alone the La-La-Land they inhabit! But that’s the difference between adults in relationships, no matter the type, and children trying to be adults, playing dress-up while indulging in schoolyard games, which Crumpled and Cinders apparently are! They pulled the same shit I did in high school. Fucking pubescent-stuck grown-ups can be the worse! Perpetual nightmares, the pair of them!

“Hey stop daydreaming and start picking up boxes!” Hunter nudges me.

I pick up the first box and follow him up to his room. The only people who know that this is done are me, Hunter, Ruth, Gary and the architect teams. The latter have been sworn to secrecy! Once the place is furnished properly by the end of week, Hunter is going to handover the keys.

“Hey Blondie!” I have to smile at that. “Yeah, the baths are arriving tomorrow so I will be here. Oh okay, well have fun then. Do everything that I would do!” He heaves a sigh of relief when he hangs up.

“What?”

“They are going to San Francisco until the weekend. To make up for the trip that got shortened, you know because of Gus.”

“You reckon they are going to leave the bedroom?” I laugh and shove him on the bed but he rolls out of reach.

“Come on! No stop that! Carmine stop! The quicker we do this, the quicker we can get back to mine and do that.”

I’m off the bed and sprinting downstairs in seconds.

PALACE HOTEL, SAN FRAN - THURSDAY MORNING

BRIAN

“HOLY FUCKING FUCK!” I bellow as I empty into my happy place and roll us onto our sides. I stroke his sweaty hair and pull him back against me while he shakes. “You okay?” I tuck the blankets up around us as he nods and sniffs. “You remembering the last time you were here?” Again nodding. “Happier memory?”

“Oh yeah! I could feel you in my throat!”

“Want to…” His squirming backwards gives me my answer. “So what do you want to do when we wake up and peel apart?”

“Get us stuck back together again.” He giggles.

“Good answer.” I growl in his ear and pull him closer to me. Soon we are asleep.

OUTSIDE OF HEAVENLY RETREATS - SUNDAY MID-MORNING

RUTH

It will be a fucking miracle if we pull this off. We’ve had to tell Mel after Cinders came here the last time, so she could get everything done.

“Ready?” I whisper at him and Hunter nods.

“Okay, everyone get on the coach and let’s go!” I order and of course, the MMT are looking smug, thinking that they’re back.

“Ruthie, why are the windows blacked out?” Gus asks.

“Because where we are going is a surprise.” I reply and ruffle his hair.

Forty minutes later, we are outside Britin. With a quick look from Mel and squeeze on the hand from Arno, I nod at Hunter.

“Okay, first people to get off...and judging by the look on Blondie’s face that has happened during this ride...are Brian and Justin.”

“Hunter! Show some decorum!” Michael snaps.

“Seriously? That’s coming from you?” He spits back before turning to Brian and Justin. “Come on, you two. Can you guys just wait here for a minute?”

HUNTER

As they step off the coach, it takes Brian a couple of seconds to realise where we are.

“Why did you bring us here and with them?! No fucking way are they...Hunter, I can’t believe you’ve...” He looks so fucked off and Justin looks hurt.

“Because it’s finished!” I interrupt. “I got it finished as quick as I could because…”

“Finished?!” Justin gasps.

“Yes. You guys need to be here before you go and they need to see that.” I pull out the keys and hold them out. I wince as they are snatched out of my hand and then laugh as they run to the front door. “Call me when we can come in!” I yell and I think they heard me!

I hear the door to the coach and it’s Mel. “How’d it go?”

“They are inside. I think we should get out the food out and head to the front door.” She nods and we take the food out and then my phone rings. “Okay, we’re good to go.”

“Okay guys, come on out!” I shout inside the coach.

“Wow! This place is fucking gorgeous!” Debs is looking round. “Where are we?”

It doesn’t take us long to get to the front door. Emmett is now bouncing and at squealing point when he realises where we are, but Ruth and Arno calm him down by giving him Gummy to hold and to take her and Gus to look at the flowers.

“My house.” Justin sniffs, stepping out of the open front door. It’s obvious that he’s been crying. “This is Britin.”

“This is the home of my prince.” Brian, too, looks a little red eyed. I can’t help but feel a little proud of that. It means I’ve done my job well.

“Why are we here?” Lindsay asks, looking round with a gleam in her eye. “What are we...I mean you going to do with gardens? Does us being here mean you’re actually letting us contribute?”

“No and no. Because it’s finished.” Justin replies. “Hunter got Britin finished.”

“What?!” Carl gasps and then looks at me with such pride I feel tears prickling.

“Not by myself! Ruth and Greg called in some favours and they worked 24/7 to get it done.”

“Oh, let’s go inside!” Lindsay gasps and steps forward. “I just can’t wait to see Gus’s room!”

“Actually, as of right now this is as far as you two get.” Mel interrupts and pulls out some papers. “These are for you.”

They take them looking bewildered. “What are these?” Michael barks, still trying to get inside but this time Lucas steps in front of him. “Will you get out of the fucking…”

“Restraining orders.” Mel sneers. “You are no longer welcome or allowed on this property and need to leave now. A cab has been called and is waiting for you.” That gets everyone’s attention.

“What do you mean?” Lindsay looks angry but then nervous when from the side of the building, a police officer approaches.

“Mel?” Justin looks confused.

“Come along sir, ma’am, you have been served so it’s time to leave. Let’s not make this any more difficult than it has to be.”

“Just go. Now.” Carl orders. “All will be explained to you when it is explained to us but for now you need to leave!”

“Michael! Michael, let’s go!” Lindsay whimpers and with, for once, genuine tears in her eyes, she pulls him alongside her and soon they are gone.

“What do you we tell Gus?” Debs demands.

“Honey, he’s not even noticed, so why tell him anything until he asks.” Carl replies.

KITCHEN - AN HOUR LATER

JUSTIN

I still can’t quite believe it! Once again, the one person who you would never expect to come through for you, does! And yet again, as with Jason Kemp, it’s Hunter! That little ragamuffin of a kid came through and is now cooking with Emmy and Debs; his little taster Gummy is banging her spoon on the table as he seems to have forgotten her.

“Alright! I’m coming little G-Monster!” He laughs as he puts a dumpling in her bowl.

“Tanka Hunner!” She burbles and then jams some dumpling in her mouth. “Yum!”

“We’ll be back in a few.” Carmine sniffs as he leads him out.

We haven’t seen the rest of the house because while they were doing what they were doing; we were getting the sign off from the architect. We want to see it by ourselves.

“I’ve been thinking.” Ted quietly chimes in. “He has been far too agreeable about your wedding Debs. For him to go from, well Michael, to golden boy is weird. He’s going to do something.” The room goes silent apart from Gus’s quiet chattering as he also decides to help with the food. “I can feel it.”

“I hate to say it but I agree.” Ben sighs. “He’s planning something. Think about it...When have any of us ever known Michael to become suddenly this rational when he’s been violently opposed to an idea or something he didn’t agree with from the onset?”

“Never!” Carl nods and wipes his face in frustration. Michael’s tantrums and vindictiveness is both commonplace and legendary around here. So the fact that he’s suddenly agreeable to something he doesn’t like, certainly raises red flags.

“What did I tell you about New York?” Ruth looks at me and smirks. “You’ve got a pretty fancy garden out there, like the witch without a broom of her own pointed out. So…”

“So mom-in-law and soon-to-be-dad-in-law want to get married here?” I grin.

“Excuse me, my prince but you have got that out of order.” Brian stands up and approaches me before getting on his knee. “Will you Justin Cole Taylor-Kinney agree to have our blessing here at our home, Britin?”

“Yes! Yes! “I scream then fling myself into his arms and kiss him deeply.

“Daddy! Papa! Get off the floor you are getting dirty!” Gus calls out.

“Not yet but we will be later.” He purrs in my ear.