CHAPTER 68 - LINDSAY GETS SERVED!

BRIAN

Oh I am going to spank him when we get home!

Everyone looks at Arno, who just shrugs. “It had to be done.” He grins.

I take a chance and look at Lindsay’s face. As expected, she is frozen in shock. “So Debs first course is coming up soon? And Justin, a word please?”

“Uh no, I have to um...yeah, deal with Lee who is…” He trails off when I just stare at him. I get up then head outside and he slowly but surely follows.

“Can we at least wait till next weekend? Ruth and Arno have the Caramels then and…” He stops babbling when I slant my mouth over his and he melts into my arms. Five minutes later, he’s staring up at me grinning impishly. “I promise to behave for the rest of the day, but I couldn’t resist that!”

“Next weekend it is. Behave when it comes to Ruth, Arno and Hiccup but with Rage Unleashed...have at ‘em!”

DEBS

Oh shit! I think that Nancy is about to let the cat out of the bag! She is frowning. But then she looks at Lindsay, who actually does look like she’s been frozen solid and then with the returning bad boys, she gets it.

“Now I believe that the colloquialism is snatch, so how was it?” Nancy ask all innocence!! “I personally have never had a taste for it myself, so what does it feel like?”

Silence complete and utter silence and I don’t think I have ever seen Lindsay go that colour!

“Mother…” She gasps weakly.

“What dear? I need to fully understand this.”

“But I really…”

Gilda has her face buried in the back of Harper’s head and is shaking. Ruth has a sardonic smirk on her face and I daren’t look at Ems!

“Brian, since you’ve had experience of them both, can you advise? Obviously, you were with Lindsay before she gave that all up but you must remember how she felt. Does Ruth feel the same?”

“Ruth is definitely um...firmer…”

“Nancy, may I have…” Ronald begins.

“How many months are you Ruth?”

“Just gone three.”

“So all that weightlifting has trained your stomach muscles. You can barely tell. Lindsay used to lift in her long ago youth. So you don’t snatch anymore, right?”

“Excuse me, Harper needs changing!” Gilda gasps and practically runs upstairs.

“Oh Lee!” Jennifer cries. “Is this a twin thing? We will be right back!” She also disappears upstairs.

I take a chance and look across at Carl... and I wish I hadn’t!

“Nancy darling, your phone is vibrating. I believe it is the call we are waiting for.”

“Oh yes, be right back!” She chirrups and they head out the front door.

EMMY

I have to get out of this room! If I don’t, I am going to piss myself! “Debs and Hunter...come-come; time for the first course! Gussie, you stay in here as this involves hot oil, okay?”

“Yes, Auntie Emmy!” He calls back. “I want to ask Ruthie something anyway!”

As we run to the kitchen, I look behind me. The two imbeciles are seriously frozen in shock. “I can’t believe…”

“I know right?! I couldn’t look at you!” Debs laughs and smiles as Carmine goes out back to follow Hunter, who couldn’t hold it in anymore!

OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR

RONALD

I am almost on the floor with sore sides! How the hell did she do that with a straight face?! I take a couple more breaths so that I can actually speak. “Oh you wicked, wicked woman! That was majestic!”

“Well I couldn’t let Justin have all the fun!” Nancy giggles. “Though judging by that smouldering look that Brian gave him, he’s in a lot of trouble and in a very good way!”

“So let's go back in...and no more talk of snatch!” I grin.

“Oh alright, I’ll play nice...for now!”

LOUNGE

When we go back, Gilda and Jennifer are back down and fully composed. Lindsay has a bit more colour but still looks sickened and Michael looks frustrated.

“Mommy, do you have Caramels or a Gummy?”

“P-pardon darling? Not sure I understand.”

“Do you have a brother or sister? I have been meaning to ask forever but I kept forgetting.”

“Oh I see. Yes I have a sister. She’s called Lynette and…”

“Really?! Can I meet her?”

“She’s a very…”

“Oh Gus, that’s a great idea!” Nancy trills and reaches for her phone. “That would be okay, won't it Debs?!” She calls out.

“What will?” Debs comes back in with a small plate and hands it to Justin. There are knowing smiles as he takes it eagerly.

“Gus wants to meet Lynette and I wondered if she’s got no plans…”

“Sure the more the merrier!” She laughs. “So how is it?”

“Perfect.” He mumbles round a mouthful.

“Ems, chief taster says we’re good!” She calls out as she heads back to the kitchen.

“Lynette, its mother. How are you doing? Great. Oh we’re fine, what are you doing now? Oh that's perfect! Do you want to meet your nephew? Yes. Great! Let me text you the address. She’s on her way.” She beams at Gus.

“Great! Thank you, Nana Nancy!” He smiles from Lindsay’s lap and I am so glad he’s sitting there as he can't see the truly horrified expression on Lindsay's face.

“Gus, can you go sit with daddy for a minute please? I just need to pop upstairs.”

“Okay. Daddy, here I come!”

LINDSAY

I retch into the bowl but nothing is coming up! I can’t believe it! How could he?! How could they?! I lean against the sink and then splash some water on my face. Oh the battle lines have been firmly drawn now. I am more determined than ever to get him gone and restore the balance of power in my favour! How he relished telling me that! And as for mother! I take another couple of breaths and pinch my cheeks to bring some colour to my face.

“Right, Justin Taylor-Kinney...let me show you how I feel about that!” I smile grimly and head back downstairs. I retake my seat and smile. “So Ruth, when are you due?”

“Well based on the last time since they were early, I think in about five months. Why?”

“Well, I thought I could accompany you to appointments that Brian and Justin can't attend. After all we’ve got children in common…”

“Thank you, but no. Like last time, Arno will be with me every step of the way.”

Oh no you don’t! I will be attending whether you like it or not!

“I’m sure that you wouldn't deny Gus the opportunity to see his…”

“Lindsay…” Gilda interrupts and her look is glacial. “What a pretty blouse. Where’d you get it?”

“Oh this old thing, I can't remember. As I was saying Ruth, it will give us a shared experience and I’m sure Gus would love to share this special time with you. Wouldn't you Gus?”

“Wouldn’t I what mommy?”

“Like to see the baby in Ruth's tummy?”

“I could see Hiccup? How mommy?”

“There’s a special machine and…”

“Oh please can I Ruthie?!” Gus squeals and looks at her his eyes wide. “Please!”

“You can’t deny that face now, can you?” I smile sweetly.

“Wasn’t ever going to deny him. He was going to be invited anyway. You just beat me to it.”

“Did I now?” I smarm. “So sorry. So when is the next appointment?”

“As I...” She begins

“I need to put it in my diary and clear it with the school when he’s going to be…” I cut across her.

“Mommy, can’t I go with just Arno and Ruthie? I can tell you about it when I get back, can’t I?”

“Wouldn’t you like…”

“Lindsay...” Brian’s voice is coldly calm. “Let Gus be a big boy and go without you. He missed out on the Caramels because Ruth was in N’Awlins.”

Everyone turns to look at me; mother is giving me her most challenging look and I fix on a smile. “Okay Gus, you can go alone to the next appointment. But can I come to the one after that with you?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Justin clips out. “Ruth you can let Mel know when the appointment is, okay.”

“Absolutely. Not a problem.” She grins at him.

Fuck, fuck and double fuck! I will find a way to attend this! Mark my words!

“Okay people, food is coming in about twenty minutes!” Debs comes in with plates. “Pass them around people…” She peers out of the window when the door knocks. “I think that Lynette is here. Ronald, can you let her in please?”

“With pleasure.” He opens the door with a smile. “Lynette darling, come in, come in! You got here quick.”

“Hello daddy, I was just down the road in Delicious Foods picking up something for dinner. Gerald is out this evening and you’ve told me so much about Gussie, Gummy and your new friends, I couldn’t miss this chance to meet them all.” She smiles at us all, well most of us, her face falls slightly on seeing me. “So this little gentleman has to be Gussie.”

“Hello, are you my auntie, like Auntie Emmy?”

“Well not quite but you can call me Auntie Lynette.” She smiles at him. “And this is Gummy, I take it?”

“Her name is…” Michael begins.

“Yes, this is she!” Mel interrupts. “Lindsay, why not introduce Lynette to everyone else?”

“Lindsay, why don't I start and you can finish?” Justin asks, his voice dripping sarcasm. “I’m Justin Taylor-Kinney…”

“Oh I know who you two are.” She points at them. “You're always a hot topic of discussion with my sister, near to the point of obsession at times. So Lindsay, everyone else is…”

Ten minutes later, everyone has been introduced and Harper and Lee are sitting on my parents’ laps. “You three make beautiful babies. Are you hoping for a boy this time?” Lynette asks, taking yet another picture of them, before Harper yawns hugely and they are put in their bassinets.

“As long as the baby is healthy that’s all that matters.” Ruth sighs and shakes her head as the food is served.

“Problem?” Michael asks as he helps himself to two pieces of lobster.

“No…”

“Then why aren't you eating?” He pauses as he carefully selects another piece of lobster. “You’re not one of those women who doesn't eat because she’s going to get fat during her pregnancy, are you? The most important thing is the baby, not your self-image.”

“Says the idiot who has never been pregnant, except with words that should never come out of his mouth.” Justin says, eyes narrowed.

“The whole point of asking a question, Michael, is to wait for the answer so that you don't make asinine comments and ask insulting questions.” Jennifer drawls. “She’s not allowed seafood because she’s pregnant.”

“Thank you mother.” Brian smiles at her before turning to Michael. “You have insulted the mother of our children. Considering our conversation earlier, how does that help achieve your aim?”

“I was just curious…”

“You were just rude. Now apologise and mean it.” He orders.

“I apologise Ruth.” He says tightly.

“Of course you are sorry.” She retorts and then looks across at Gus, who is staring at Lee with a frown. “Gus, what’s up?”

“Why is Lee sucking her thumb?”

“She gets that from me. I still suck my thumb sometimes.”

“You do? Why?”

“It’s a comfort thing. What that means is by doing that it makes her feel good.”

“Oh, you should stop that quickly.” I point out smugly. “I never let Gus do that. It could cause their bottom lip to be a bit fuller. I read it somewhere.”

“Oh dear me, Lindsay!” Ruth laughs. “Have you not noticed our mouths? We are, all three, full lipped parents. Naturally our offspring should inherit the same. In Gus’ case, he gets his adorably bow-shaped mouth from his dad too; Gummy got hers from Mel, obviously. Between the six of us, you and Michael are the only snake lipped pair, which kinda reflects your personalities. No matter though. Whereas nothing can really be done about Michael’s physical appearance where his lips are concerned, you’re in luck. I think Max Factor or Maybelline came out with a line of lipsticks containing collagen to address that problem. You should look into that then you too can have full lips… well, the appearance of them anyway. It might even cover the dryness that is present right now. I have a spare balm, would you like it? Are you thirsty much?”

“Mommy should I get you some water?” Gus asks and I almost bite through my tongue as I know exactly what kind of thirsty she means. I feel the heat suffusing my face even as I paste on a smile for Gus’s sake.

“No thank you darling. As I was saying Ruth…”

“Lindsay, you should never stop a baby from soothing themselves. It’s what they do. After all we’ve been on this planet for millions of years, though you are looking good for your age and species, Reptilia.” Gilda interjects. I narrow my eyes at those who have the sudden urge to cough. I see nothing funny about this situation! “Besides, having a baby who knows how to soothe themselves, helps the mother in the long run. I mean, if you leave them to figure things out themselves then…”

“They’re babies! They need to be guided and…” I protest.

“Rubbish. They need to be let be so that you don’t end up with an overindulged, overgrown whiner. You should know that, as you live with one again! Oh Debs…”

“Oh honey, don’t you worry! Unlike some, I own my mistakes. Continue!”

“Yes as I was saying, Lindsay, they’re babies and babies tend to stay in one spot. So doing whatever it takes to entertain themselves at this stage is not a problem and requires nothing more than they are fed, dry and happy, whether you are playing with them or not. They look to you to meet their needs and to know that they can depend on you. When they start crawling and walking, it’s their time to learn about their world and their place in it. That’s when they need to be guided but still not moulded into mini versions of their parents. Case in point, Ruth’s dad hated that she sucked her thumb, saw it as a sign of weakness, and tried to get me to make her stop, but I refused.”

“And she still does it now.” I point out, tartly.

“Yes she does. And she also owns two multi-million dollar companies. Well three if you count Delicious Foods…”

“What?!” Emmett gasps. “You own that?!”

“No. We own it. Me, mum and Gary and that’s something I need to talk to Hunner about...we need a resident chef...but later when it’s just us and your dad, Gamma and Ganka okay?” Ben and Hunter both nod.

“I don’t understand, about her dad I mean...” Blake looks around the table and there are people looking equally confused.

“See honey, this is a lesson of what a child who learns from the crib to self-teach, self-cope and self-rely can achieve if their natural tendencies are not suppressed or altered to fit an ideal of their high-society parent or parents. Anyway, back to Ruth’s ignorant father...He decided that if I wasn’t going to make her stop, he would. So he put hot pepper sauce on her thumb. He told me it was jam but when she started screaming, I knew it wasn’t. He was out the door that very evening and has not seen her since.”

“I have a question? We were going to ask Mel but…” Justin puts up his hand like a schoolboy!

“Oh carry on!” Mel smiles.

“Harper likes to pull hair. Especially Brian’s. What do you suggest we do about that?”

“Well, when I was…”

“Nothing.” Gilda interrupts me.

“Nothing?” Justin echoes.

“Just disentangle her hand, kiss it and pretend it didn’t happen for now. Later on, when they are older, they can be taught about personal space and boundaries. Right now, Brian’s hair is as special and shiny to them as an earring would be. It’s fascinating and since they can’t see their own just now, they take pleasure in looking and feeling his. Plus it’s a different texture. Again, they are exploring and inquisitive… why would you want to stop that growth simply for your comfort?”

“We don’t, we won’t and thank you Gamma Gilly.” Justin beams at her and there is a reaction from her I don’t understand, but will find out later! Right now, I want to stop my stepdaughter from sucking her thumb. It is so unseemly, somewhat like her mother!

“Whilst I don’t condone the behaviour of her father.” I smile winningly. “But being taught a hard lesson about what not to do early on helped make Ruth what you are now, didn’t it?”

“Oh hell no! It had nothing to with that! Ruth is smart and hard working and…” Gilda growls.

“I consider his treatment of me a win. I still suck my thumb and also love hot and spicy food!” Ruth smiles and then she looks at her watch. “Okay Gus, you going to help with this?”

“With…”

“Yes Ruthie, let me get my CBP!” He yells and runs to the hallway.

“CBP?” I echo.

“Caramels Back Pack.” Mel laughs. “He has a GBP, Gummy Back Pack, and a CBP...it just has things in it that he thinks that they would like. Like their milk towels and spare socks and…”

“Spare socks?” Mother echoes.

“Watch Gummy....” Brian laughs. “Throughout the afternoon just watch what...look! Look, she’s going to do it now!” He whispers hoarsely.

We all turn to watch Gummy...dammit! JR...make her way over and gently pull their socks off and toddle off to hide them.

“Why?” Lynette asks quietly.

“It gets cuter.” Justin grins, his eyes shining and Brian leans over to kiss him on the cheek.

She then comes back to their bassinets and strokes their feet while babbling to them, slightly more coherently than her father! She’s there for about 5 or so minutes before she decides that they are fine and toddles back to Ben, much to Michael’s radiating annoyance.

“We have no idea when she started this but every time they are in there, she does it.” Mel smiles. “She’s going to be a great big sister.”

“Did you get it?” Brian asks Justin, who is filming on his phone. He just nods. “We’ve seen it but never got it on film before.”

“And speaking of film, we have something for you all... well mostly!” Justin announces. “Now we’re in post-production, the images are being released since we have a premiere date.”

“Premiere date?!” Michael gasps.

“But it is dependent on one woman...”

Finally! My importance in his life is recognised!

“Now that the Rathman Residency is complete, I can focus fully on our movie. But of course, we have to have our leading lady in mind and she is Ruth. So baby momma, the premiere doesn’t happen without you. So pop out that kid real quick!”

RATHMAN IS DONE AND RUTH IS THEIR LEADING LADY! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!

“Excuse me Justin, but did you say that the residency is done?”

“Yes, Lindsay. I presented at the same time as the blessing ceremony, where Sam very kindly took on hosting duties. And then of course, as you know, I went round the country doing what I needed to be done.”

“Oh Lindsay, you would’ve loved it. It was exquisite!” Lynette tells me.

I look properly at Justin and know full well that he has fucking played me! I swallow down that bitter pill and judging by the knowing smirks between Brian and Justin, there is something else I am missing.

“So what else is there that you’re not telling?” I ask smiling as brightly as I can!

“Huh? Oh that… well, aside from the premiere, the publishers for the graphic novels…”

“Comic...It is called a comic, Justin. But you would know that if you were…”

“No, Michael. Rage, as you thought it to be, were called comics and proof that you are still small minded on so many levels. Mine and Brian’s rendition of Rage has much more depth and originality. Anyway, we signed a book deal with Ironside Publishing for worldwide distribution. Not only do we keep creative control about the subject matter but full rights, including all artwork. So amid being daddy, doing another show this time in France in the middle of next year, and the premiere of the movie with promotional gigs for that already set up, the release of the first graphic novel, Rage Unleashed, will hit the stores within the first two weeks at the box office. Oh and Lindsay, don’t even think to get into my shows from now on. You’ve already been banned. No more Stage Mother or any other mother for you unless you plan to extend them to Michael, who could surely benefit from your expertise, such as it isn’t. More wine, anyone?” He raises his glass and takes a healthy sip while I do the same for an entirely different reason. Michael follows suit by draining his glass. Judging by his expression, I’m not the only one tasting those sour grapes. Sour fucking grapes indeed!

But just a minute Justin Taylor... I refuse to think of him with my husband’s last name! What that fucking Blond Boy Wonder- Asshole Extraordinaire has forgotten is that I have one very important card and his name is Gus. I just need to get him on my side. It might take some time but on my side he will be!

“So you excited Gus?” Gilda asks, bringing me back to the conversation.

“Do you mean it truly?” Gus is excited about something.

“Have I missed something?” I ask.

“No. It doesn’t concern you since you’ve agreed that it can be Ruth, Arno and Gus at the appointment only.” Daddy tells me with an edge to his voice.

“Of course.” I agree. I am not stupid; I know what side my bread is buttered! So I back right off....for now anyway.

“Daddy? Papa? Will I need to bring my past port?”

“It’s passport Gus and no you don’t.” Justin smiles at him.

“Mommy, isn’t it wonnerful! Ruth’s said we’re going to High Wi for her next appointment because that’s where her doctor is!”

“High Wi?”

“Hawaii darling. Gus is going to Hawaii.”  Mother explains and not for the first time, I want to slap the smirk off her face.

Why the fuck did Michael have to come back now?! This would be a whole lot easier to manage if he wasn’t here! Think! Think! Okay, there is enough money to cover my ongoing trips to Hawaii because I must be at those appointments! I will be a big part of their lives after all. Now first things first, figure a way to get there. There is no way in fuck that she is taking Gus without me!

“Ah Lindsay, you probably shouldn’t have mumbled that aloud.” Mel leans in laughing and biting her lip.

“What? What did I say?”

“What did I miss?” Michael asks as he returns. I had no idea that he had even left!

“Oh nothing, just girl talk.” I smile and heave a sigh of relief but the expression on Ruth’s face tells me that I should not be so happy!

“Lindsay, you and I are going to have a little chat tomorrow about just what your place is in my child’s life. What time are you available?”

“Yes Lindsay, what time do you want to speak to my daughter and I about your over zealous plans for stepmotherhood?”

“I think Justin and I should be in on this too. So Lindsay, care to give us a time or should we pick one for you?” Jennifer is staring at me so hard that I am suddenly thankful there is a wide table between us.

“If I were you, Lindz, I would answer quickly. Mother Taylor is not known for patience when dealing with recalcitrant ingrates.” Brian tells me, smirking. I thought at least Brian would stop this shit but he seems to be enjoying my discomfort as much as Justin and Mel!

“We’re waiting for your answer and you have approximately ten seconds to render it. Ten...nine….eight….”

She’s serious? No she….oh she is! Oh fuck!