VIC

I walked in the front door and didn’t bother to go near the kitchen. When the girls come over it usually means they’re plotting again. I went straight up the stairs and looked at the place I called home. It’s like a house of pain and suffering, since everything that happened with Gus and Ted. I watched the nephew I once loved like a son become a person I didn’t recognize. I kept thinking about what was sent to my phone. Does Deb taking care of me when I was sick mean I have to live my life for her? What life? It’s not like I’ve had a life of my own. My life became what Deb wanted it to be. Was I still seeing the sister who needed me, or do I start seeing the sister who treats the care she gave me as me owing her? It was a lot of questions, and the answers didn’t leave me seeing my family in a very good light. I dialed a number I shouldn’t, because I didn’t fight for them, but sat quietly by, while my blood turned on them.

“Vic?” Brian answered.

“I want to say I’m sorry for not being the person you could come to,” I tell him.

“Being disappointed in the people I cared about was never new for me,” He tells me, in the careless voice he always used.

“I never wanted to be one of the people who disappointed you,” I tell him.

“You didn’t, you stayed out of the slaughter,” He tells me.

“I didn’t help either,” I tell him.

“You were one of the abused,” He tells me, hanging up.

I packed a bag, deciding it was time to escape my abusers. Rodney told me his door was always open. Hopefully one day my boys would open a door for me too, one day soon.

BRIAN

I sat at my desk, not understanding why Vic finally called. The silence was worse than the words yelled about me. I looked in on Gus sleeping, feeling restless. Emmett came out of his room looking at me.

“Brian, if he wakes up, I’ll call. He’s been doing well lately,” He tells me.

It took twenty minutes, but I left the house thinking of just getting a drink. Somehow I ended up standing in front of Justin’s house. I sat on his steps, trying to figure out what made me come here. The light came on and Justin came out, sitting next to me.

“Everything okay?” He asks.

“Gus is sleeping. I got so used to staying up to help him. Why are you up?” I ask.

“I paint at night a lot. Less people around,” He tells me.

“I’ll let you get back to it,” I tell him, standing up.

“You can come sit around and talk to me. You look like you could use someone to talk to,” He tells me.

I followed him to his studio, not really intending to say anything. “How did you deal with your father?” I ask.

“I walked away. It’s what he really wanted, a world where I no longer shamed him. He wasn’t an asshole until I came out, so I only remember when he was a father. I buried him with my mother and sister,” He tells me, as if he didn’t care.

“I had someone once, who I saw as a father,” I tell him, as he mixes paints.

“What happened to him?” He asks.

“He’s lives with Michael and Debra. It’s Debra’s brother,” I tell him.

“Vic?” He asks.

“Emmett mentioned him?” I ask.

“He mentioned how Debra talked about him. If I was Vic I would have walked away, not stayed, being indentured to them,” He tells me.

“We all wanted a family that cared, none of us had one of those,” I tell him.

“Have you ever thought about finding out who your real father was?” He asks.

“Once in awhile; but he didn’t sign up to be a father,” I tell him.

“You could find out he’s worse, is that really the problem?” He asks.

“What are you going to do when Lily asks those questions?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Tell her she’s the result of a man who allowed me to be a father. It’s not like they tell you where to find the donor,” He tells me.

“It bothers me now, after what happened with Lindsay and Mel,” I tell him. “I once used it to make some money, in college,” I tell him when he looked confused. “I went to the local clinic, to find out what happened to my sample, only to be told my donation was purchased. I could have a child here older than Gus,” I tell him.

“You can register, so that if the child wants to know, the clinic can provide the information. I chose not to, but if one day Lily really wants to know, then we can do it,” He tells me.

“How did you chose, it seemed to have everyone laughing?” I ask him.

“Just promise you won’t think less of me for being juvenile,” He tells me.

“I don’t make promises I might not be able to keep,” I tell him.

“I tried to look at it from what traits do I wanted my child to have. Only, after a while they all started looking the same. A number, then traits, I started messing with the numbers out of boredom.” He tells me.

“What did the numbers tell you?” I ask.

“That the father of my child is nine inches, or at least that’s what the numbers spelled out,” He laughs.

“That’s different. I better go,” I tell him, distracted. That certainly explains the connection I felt for her. “I’ll check on Lily on the way out,” I tell him.

“Get some sleep,” He tells me, as he continues painting.

I walked in and looked down at Lily’s face. She had a lot of Justin in her. I’ll keep watching to see what she got from me. She kept kicking away the blankets, like she didn’t like being restrained. I pulled them around her again.

“You are going to only ever know a world full of love,” I whisper to her.

“It’s my plan,” Justin tells me at the door. “You left your phone in my studio,” He tells me, handing it to me.

“Thank you,” I tell him, for more than he knows. “I better get back, maybe it’s time for you and Lily to come see our house,” I tell him.

“Daphne and I have plans tomorrow, but after that, it’s fine,” He tells me.

“I can stay home and watch Lily for you. Gus would love to spend time with her,” I tell him, wanting to spend time with her myself.

“You don’t have to do that, we were only going to have lunch at her favorite sushi place,” He tells me.

“It would be easier on both of you to have fun, it helped me this last week. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t depend on me to take care of Lily,” I tell him, picking her up when she whimpered.

“You’re a great father, hopefully I’ll be just as good one day. If you really don’t mind, I could drop her off before we go,” He tells me.

“Gus and I would love to spend time with our princess,” I tell her, kissing her before handing her to Justin.

I got home and went to see Gus, who Emmett let me know didn’t even know I was gone. I laid next to Gus, falling asleep trying to figure out how to tell Justin.

When Justin showed up with more than I probably needed for Lily, it took Emmett and I fifteen minutes to convince him she’d be fine for the two hours he was gone. Emmett went to pick her up, but I took her before he could. I wanted time with my children.

“Brian, I don’t mind helping. I spent the last week with her,” Emmett tells me.

“I plan to spend as much time with her as I can,” I tell him, without thinking about what I said.

“Are we adopting her too?” He jokes.

It was something I needed to look into, how it would work with a case like this. I let it go when Gus ran into the room with a teddy bear under his arm.

“Lily’s here?” He asks.

“Justin is letting us watch her while he goes out with Daphne,” I tell him.

We spread out a blanket over some pillows on the floor for Lily. Gus put on his favorite cartoon as I studied his sister. Emmett kept wandering around us offering to help.

“I thought you were going to work today?” Emmett tells me, trying to get Lily.

“I can finish it later. Why are you hanging out here?” I ask him.

“I sort of texted Vic last night. I don’t know why,” He tells me.

“He called, saying he was sorry for not helping. I wasn’t exactly welcoming,” I tell him.

“It’s hard to overlook that he ignored everything,” He tells me, running a finger down Lily’s cheek.

“He had to live with them,” I tell him. “Where is Ted?” I ask, not really wanting to talk about Vic when Lily was here.

“He and Shelly went shopping for a new phone,” He tells me.

“Why would they need to get a new one, when you can just change the number?” I ask.

“It’s really strange, but I was bringing it to Ted this morning and it fell in the toilet. I swear, I’m all butterfingers,” He tells me.

“Alex wants Ted to be the one who stops, and not because we’re forcing him to,” I tell him.

“I had every intention of leaving it alone, it was just, thirty texts was too much to me. Sort of broke up the phone then tried to flush it. Ted can get the same number but maybe he won’t want old bullshit messing it up,” He tells me.

“You think that’s a good idea, Lily? Not letting the old bull in our new lives?” I ask her.

“I promised her, only good things,” Gus whispered to me.

“I’ll help you keep your promise,” I tell Gus.