CARL

I needed Joan to explain to me why she never told me. I would have gotten Brian out of the hell she raised him in. I could have given him a home where he would have never known Jack’s fists. These were the only thoughts in my head since reading everything up until he was no longer living in that home.

I was just about to leave when I saw Deb's brother and another man standing out front, filling out forms. Vic and I met once, but he didn't stick around to talk.

“Everything okay?” I ask.

“Just family problems,” Vic tells me.

“Vic, this family is going to drive us crazy,” the other man tells him.

“Rodney this is Carl, Deb's boyfriend,” Vic interrupts him.

“Lovely. Sorry, but regardless of who you date, I'm not willing to have her constantly harassing us,” Rodney tells me.

“I broke it off,” I tell Vic.

“I'm not surprised, Deb’s good at making people run away from her,” He tells me.

“Like Brian Kinney?” I ask.

“Exactly, He left to save his son and the friends who stood by him,” Vic tells me. “You know Brian?” He asks.

“No, he's just been brought up a lot in the last couple of days,” I tell him, not ready to explain.

“I'm sure Deb just loved telling you her version of the bullshit Michael, the girls, and Deb consider his ‘crimes against the family’,” Vic says shaking his head.

“I got an earful of how everything was his fault,” I tell him.

“Brian did nothing but care about his son. It was us who treated him the way his father did; just without the fists,” He tells me.

“Vic, you didn’t do what they did,” Rodney tells him.

“But was sitting on the sidelines, doing nothing while they crucified him, any better?” He asks him.

“After you’re done here, could we talk?” I ask.

“About?” He seemed leery.

“My son. Brian,” I tell him.

“Did you…?” Vic was at a loss.

“I just found out, and I have a feeling with what he went through, he might not welcome me with open arms,” I tell him.

I helped them get the restraining order filed and we went to a bar together. Vic seemed reluctant to talk, but I needed to know something about my son.

“What makes you think Brian is yours?” Vic asks, after being silent.

“His mother told me, there was a time when she and I were together,” I tell him.

“Too bad she didn’t have the sense to get Brian away. Brian’s life wasn’t easy and it's like he could never get away from his abusers, not even when he left it behind. He found a new form in my family, and a person he thought was a friend,” He tells me.

“It’s something I see a lot of, victims leave, only to find the same situation,” I tell him.

“Joan was scared to leave what she knew, and Brian suffered for it. It’s no worse than what the others in Brian’s life did. What I didn’t do wasn’t any better,” He tells me.

“You seem to have a lot of guilt if you didn’t do anything,” I tell him.

“He needed people to stand up for him when the family tried to make him sound like he was a step down from Jack. They made him sound like he would toss everything aside to trick, drink, or party his night away. Brian might have done those things, but he never ignored his son or his friends if they needed him. In a way, Brian could be accused of caring too much, even when he acted like he didn’t care at all. He needed someone to say they believed in him, and I didn’t,” He tells me.

“Vic, you had your own problems with Deb,” Rodney assures him.

“Nothing like Brian had with all of them. I let my sister convince me I needed her, when I should have been able to stand on my own two feet. I should have been willing to help, but all I did was stay away when Brian, Ted, and Emmett needed someone to stand up for them,” He tells us.

“Why was Brian fighting with them?” I ask, to get him off the soap box.

“His friend Ted tried to kill himself when my nephew dated him. Brian was the one who found Ted and got him treated. He stopped the bleeding and managed to keep Ted from dying, Michael stood and watched, not really caring what happened to Ted. When Michael got upset that Ted didn’t make him the POA, he tried to sue Brian, saying that Brian wouldn’t take care of Ted. A few months later, Brian found out his son was being neglected by his mother, and ended up in another battle with all of them. They sat in court accounting Brian’s life before he ever had Gus, not mentioning the father he was for Gus from the minute he was born. For the girls, it was all about bleeding Brian dry, not about Gus. I still don’t know why Michael can’t seem to leave Ted alone and get on with his life. It’s not like he was in love with Ted. He tried to play it off that way, but I think he just didn’t want Brian to win,” He tells me.

“Why would he see Brian being in charge of Ted as a win?” I ask.

“Michael lived in the shadow of Brian all his life. It didn’t matter that Brian’s life was a nightmare, Michael only saw that Brian had no problem getting what he wanted in life. Brian worked for everything he wanted, Michael expects things to be handed to him. Deb taught him well,” He tells me.

“I want a chance to at least know the man he is, I want my other children to meet their brother. It sounds like he isn’t going to be easy to know,” I tell him.

“He still answered when I called, and he could have ignored it or told me to fuck myself. The man I know is still the same man he’s always been, willing to give people a chance,” He tells me.

“Even Deb and the others?” I ask.

“They burned any bridges to Brian when they left his son to be neglected. Brian could forgive people hurting him, but not Gus, never his son,” He tells me.

I sat alone at the bar, looking at the number Vic gave me. Do I call my son or try to see him first?

ALEX

“Remember when Justin told us how he picked his donor?” Ted asks.

“The numbers spelled out ‘nine inches’.” I tell him, still finding it funny.

“Well, apparently when Brian needed money in college, he donated, and managed to get the person doing the file to put that as the number for the file. They haven’t really checked into it, but the clinic is the same one Justin went to. Since files don’t repeat numbers, you have Brian finding out he has another child, only this blond refuses to use his child the way Lindsay used Gus,” Ted tells me.

“I came because Joan told me something I wanted to discuss with Brian,” I tell him.

“He’s on the fence about meeting his father, but Brian could never live with not knowing. I think it’s the whole Debra thing that has him stumped,” Ted tells me.

“Maybe I should have waited to see if he needed to talk. All I could think was that this was going to be hard for Brian with all the other things happening,” I tell him.

“It shows you care about us as more than the money you get,” Ted tells me.

“What about you? How have you been?” I ask.

“I had to get a new phone when Emmett decided to smash mine and try to flush it. I changed my number on my own. I don’t want to continue the cycle with Michael. I’ve also decided it’s time for me to start working again, even if it’s just being the boring accountant I’ve always been,” He tells me, but smiles instead of the usual frown.

“You’ve been making a lot of progress already, but this is really a big step. It’s also good to see you taking responsibility for your own health by eating, without Emmett having to tell you to do it,” I tell him.

“I’ve had good days for the most part. It started with shutting off the voice of Michael in my head. Then making it so he couldn’t call me either. It’s like things taste better, look brighter, and I’m happier, by leaving him behind. I can’t say that it’s not a struggle to get out of bed at first, but now I see there are good reasons to get up,” He tells me.

“Just know that if there are days when you feel weighed down, it’s normal. We can work on some techniques to help you if it happens,” I tell him, as Brian comes in with Emmett.

“Ted, everything okay?” Brian asks, looking at me.

“He came to see you,” Ted tells him, putting his plate away.

“I talked to Joan. I wanted to be here if you needed someone to talk to,” I tell him.

“Maybe you should talk to Justin. He seems to think my supporting my daughter should be done in moderation,” He tells me, snickering.

“Brian, I agree, since I had to carry all that shit in the house. He got to talk to Justin while I slaved away,” Emmett tells us dramatically.

“Please. It was diapers and formula. Justin has a lot to learn about the amount of diapers a kid goes through,” Brian argues.

“Where’s Gus?” I ask.

“Daphne is taking him to see a movie,” Brian tells me.

“He agreed?” I asks.

“Shelly’s going too, but only because she stopped by and Gus told her about it, but yes, Gus was willing to go,” He smiles.

“Good. How about we go to your office and talk?” I ask.

Brian grabs a drink and heads with me to his office. He sat at his desk playing with his phone, then hands it to me to show me the pictures of Gus and Lily. I got to the last one that looks like a painting of Gus.

“It’s Justin’s,” He tells me.

“How are you dealing with all the changes?” I ask him.

“Gus is getting better, I have a beautiful daughter, and my business is exceeding expectations. Not really anything to deal with,” He tells me.

“Brian, what about the fact that you have the opportunity to meet your real father?” I ask.

“What about it?” He shrugs, picking up his phone looking at it.

“Aren't you curious about who he is?” I ask.

“Why would I be?” He asks, as if not caring.

“It's me you're talking to, remember that,” I tell him.

“Do you know Justin offered to come with me if I wanted him to,” He says, not answering.

“Did you take him up on it?” I ask, playing along.

“No. If I meet my father, then I do it without help,” He tells me.

I nodded, understanding this wasn’t up for debate. “Call if you need to talk,” I tell him.

“It's too new right now,” He tells me.

“Just keep an open mind about Carl, he's a pretty decent guy,” I tell him.

“You know him?” He asks.

“Only when I'm called in to assess someone for the DA. My overall opinion of him is, he's fair and honest, it's why he stays in the position he's in, he doesn't like the politics it takes to move higher. He's divorced and has a good relationship with his family,” I tell him.

“How do you know he's got a good relationship with his family?” He asks.

“The same way I know you love your children, he has pictures of practically every event in his children's lives around his desk, and he's in all of them,” I tell him.

“I'm not in any of these,” He holds up his phone.

“You took them. I'm sure if we looked at photos others took of Gus we'd find you,” I tell him.

“Probably, but most likely you won't find them. Since Michael or Lindsay took them,” He tells me.

“Does it bother you that you don't have them?” I ask, while he's being open.

“For Gus’s sake it does. He'll never see how much he meant to me from the day he was first put in my arms. Lily will, because I want to be the father in every picture in every event. I want to be the person both my kids know loves them, no matter who they become,” He tells me.

“Then do what you do best show them that man,” I tell him, leaving to give him time to absorb that he said he wanted to be like his father.