BRIAN

Carl sat in front of me, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. Gus climbed in my lap, staring at Lily. I kept looking for something in Carl that I could say proved we were related to each other and didn’t see anything.

“Why are you willing to believe my mother?” I ask.

“She never lied to me when we together... until you,” He tells me.

“It's the first real lie she ever told me. Otherwise, she just overlooked anything that didn’t fit into the world she wanted believe we lived in,” I tell him.

“It's not easy for me to know that you lived the way you did. It's harder knowing I could have done something to stop it, if I’d known the truth,” He tells me.

“Why show up here the way you did?” I ask, more curious than upset about it.

“From the description I got of you, I felt that calling you first might have had you seeing it as me taking the easy way out. I wanted to show you by my actions that I was serious about wanting to know you. If you threw me out, I'd just keep trying,” He tells me.

“You could've gone on with your life, the way it is, by ignoring what my mother told you,” I tell him.

“You could've ignored your mother and nephews when they needed help, but I think we both have the same beliefs when it comes to family. Your sister and brother know how I feel about being there for family and they feel the same way. When you’re ready, they would like to meet their baby brother. You might not want us, but we want you and your children in our lives. You have two more nephews, from your brother, and another baby coming from your sister. Carl Jr is coming home from overseas and would like to bring his family to meet you and the children. Vicky, your sister, and her husband Edward are willing to come here at the same time. I'll have to tell them about the angel in your arms, since I didn't know about her,” He tells me.

“Daddy gave her to us,” Gus tells him, surprising me by what he called Justin.

“Justin…”

“Daddy! Yous Lily's Dad,” Gus tells me.

“Child logic,” Carl tells me.

“Okay, but I call him Justin,” I explain to Gus.

“Justin had her by going to a clinic, before we met. My file at the clinic stood out to him,” I tell Carl, not wanting to explain why.

My office door opened, and right on schedule, Emmett came in with drinks. “I figured you guys would get thirsty with all the talking you'd need to do. I'm Emmett, caretaker of the family,” He tells Carl, sitting down.

“Thank you for being a good friend when Brian needed one,” Carl tells him.

“He's always been one to me, even when I didn’t realize it. I have to ask, why Debra?” Emmett blurts out.

“She seemed interesting when I met her, but after a few dates I got the idea she's a bit self absorbed. I was about to break it off anyway, but when I heard the way she talked about my son, it made it even easier,” Carl tells him.

“I think we're going to like you,” Emmett tells him.

“Emmett, I'm sure you have something to do,” I tell him.

“I was just going to see if Gus and Lily wanted to come with me,” He tells me.

I let Gus get up and was about to hand Lily over to Emmett but Carl was staring at them. “You can take her to Justin,” I tell Carl, putting my daughter in her grandfather's arms.

“You have to hold her head up,” Gus informs him.

“Want to show me?” Carl asks him.

“Yep. Daddy showed me,” Gus tells him, with Emmett mouthing ‘Daddy?’

“Justin wanted you to know what you were doing when you hold her,” I tell Gus, to explain to Emmett also about Justin’s new name.

“Just bring them out when you're ready, I'll prepare ‘Daddy’ for his baby,” Emmett tells me, running out.

“She beautiful, definitely takes after Justin if the golden blond stays,” Carl says, falling in love, the way I did with Lily.

“Daddy said maybe she gonna have Dad's eyes, but it too soon to know,” Gus tells him.

I look up to see my eyes on my father. It never made sense that I had hazel eyes when none of my family did. Yet there they were in my father.

“Ready to take our angel to Daddy?” Carl asked Gus. Gus nodded and led the way.

Ted came in paperless, asking if everything was good. I smiled and nodded, feeling for the first time like I had someone who I might want in my life. Carl came back in, smiling at Ted as he left.

“Justin took the new name well,” He tells me.

“How are you taking having a gay son?” I ask, getting it out of the way. If he didn’t like it, then I didn’t have a place in my life for him.

“How do you feel about a straight father? One who might not understand the attraction but only cares that it makes you happy?” He asks, giving it to me straight.

“I never got the attraction to women either,” I smirk.

“I had to get over any problems with difference if I wanted to stay in Vicky’s life. To me it would be trading one prejudice for another, by not accepting you for the person you love,” He tells me.

“It's the same for my mother. I can’t change that she married Jack, but I won't condemn her for him either. You have to understand, she believed strongly in the sanctity of marriage, as she was taught in church. Divorce wasn’t an option to her. Her cheating on Jack would have had her thinking she owed penance, not seeing the possibility that she needed to leave him. It wouldn’t have mattered if she loved you or not, her religious beliefs would have her staying with Jack.” I tell him.

“Did you have a good relationship with her?” He asks.

“No. But I know why now. She pushed me away so I wouldn't be Jack's punching bag. It wasn’t until my sister and Jack almost killed my nephew that I found out my mother was just as screwed up as I was,” I tell him.

“Mislead, not screwed up. You were both reacting to the roles you had to play, in the world of the Jack's, Deb’s, and others who use people,” He tells me.

“I got my mother to finally be the woman she should've been. If you plan to be my father, then it comes with you not treating her like she's unwelcome,” I tell him.

“I can be civil, but it wasn't easy to walk away from her. I fell in love with her, and she acted as if it didn’t matter. I can see now why it happened, but it doesn't change the way it felt then,” He tells me.

“Wish I could tell you anything helpful, but I've never been in love with anyone,” I tell him.

“Tell me when you figure it out. I'm sure it will be soon. I think I'd like to spend time with all my family,” He tells me, leaving.

I sat back in my chair and turned it to face the window. It’s like everything looked different now. I had the possibility of a father who cared that I existed. I see what Ted was saying, the world becomes brighter.

“Brian, can we talk?” I hear behind me, I slowly turned to look at Justin.

“I feel talked out,” I tell him.

“We don't get to avoid things, it leaves too much room for misunderstanding,” He tells me.

“What's there to talk about? Gus doesn't understand that he's not your son when Lily's your daughter. I want him to have all the love the world can give him so he never again has to feel what those two bitches did to him,” I tell him.

“And I'm honored he feels safe enough in the love I have for him. You know that's not what I'm asking,” He tells me.

“The kiss? I could say it's because you saw through the bullshit I almost did to a man who was willing to face whatever it took to have a relationship with me. I could say it’s because you cared enough about our children to want to give them a grandfather. It would be the truth, but it's also that I want to be the person you eventually give a chance to when you're ready,” I tell him.

“I'm not sure when I'll be ready. I need to be a father first. To figure it all out. If you're still interested then, we'll see,” He tells me.

“I'll always be a part of your life, so let me know,” I tell him.

DEBRA

It pissed me off when I went to the station with a casserole as a peace offering and Carl wasn’t there. I gave him a few days to come to me, but he never did. What I got instead was a restraining order from my own brother and the desk sergeant telling me that Carl asked him to explain again that he didn’t want to see me. That bitch Joan got her hooks into Carl the way she and her son do to everyone. It was worse because I was hoping Carl could get rid of the restraining order that kept Michael and I from contacting Brian.

After the last time Brian used it, we were informed by another detective we talked to that it would be a night in jail the next time, and possibly a longer stay. Mel tried to tell him it wasn’t us that was the real problem, but Brian harassing us. She told him about Gus not being allowed to see his mothers, but he explained that as a lawyer she had to have read what the loving mothers did to earn losing their son. We were being railroaded at every turn.

The latest was the police arresting the girls. I wanted to see why the police felt the need to go to a nice neighborhood, and arrest Lindsay and Mel. There were places that needed to be cleaned up, not people like us. Only, Carl seemed to no longer care what happened to me or my family, with Joan running around. One of the beat cops leaving with me told me Carl was taking a vacation. When I asked where he went, the guy told me he didn’t know, but couldn’t tell me even if he did.

I was trying to calm down at everything not going our way lately. Michael was worried about Ted having someone like Brian influencing him. Brian just couldn’t let Michael be happy. No, instead he takes the man Michael loves away. I couldn’t believe Ted would want that asshole around him when he saw the way Brian treated his friends.

“Ma, what’s got you pissed?” Michael asks, coming in with Lindsay and Mel.

“Everything! It’s like the day we stood up against fucking Brian everything started going wrong. Vic fucking thinks that he can ignore everything I did for him. The girls get accused of hurting Gus when Brian told them he would watch Gus that night, and everyone acts like you were using the man you loved and didn’t care what happened to him. We can’t even talk to Brian, who needs to see he’ll never be the kind of person anyone can depend on,” I tell him, pulling out the casserole that Carl didn’t get and slamming it on the table. “Sit down and fucking eat,” I order them.

“I can’t believe the police keep acting like Mel and I are drugs lords,” Lindsay tells us.

“You two need to stop partying like the asshole did, or you’ll never get Gus back,” I tell the girls.

“We won’t get Gus back until someone sees through that asshole,” Mel bitches.

“We need to do something, my parents aren’t willing to keep supporting us. You need to apologize to your boss and get him to rehire you. I won’t be the only one supporting us,” Lindsay tells Mel.

“I’m sure Sydney doesn’t mind paying you to screw artists to hang their paintings in his dying gallery,” Mel sneers.

“Like you didn’t mind screwing Tricia. In fact it seems you enjoyed it more than I did,” Lindsay sneers back.

“Better than Sam, the fucking hairy asshole,” Mel argues.

“Sam pays the fucking bills you can’t, and my family won’t. I have to wonder why I stay with you when I’m the one having to do all the fucking work to keep your lazy ass. What’s the use in having a degree if you don’t fucking use the thing,” Lindsay tells her.

“I would if your precious Brian hadn’t had my firm thinking I shouldn’t be representing family law. They said it looked bad that I let my wife ignore her fucking kid. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t my damn kid!” Mel yells at her.

“If you two could have taken care of your kid, I wouldn’t have lost everything!” Michael yells at them with my blessing.

“Like you gave a shit. I looked like an idiot telling Brian it was a boo boo. You told me Ted was just faking it for attention, not that he almost killed himself!” Mel yells at him.

“I don’t care what Brian made the doctors say, it was just Ted acting like a little bitch because he constantly disappointed me,” Michael tells her.

“All the fucking yelling isn’t going to solve anything. We have another problem. Carl isn’t going to help us against his son,” I tell them, to get them to pay attention to the real problem.

“What does his kid have to do with us?” Michael asked the right question for once.

“Because Joan managed to convince Carl that he’s Brian’s father. So all the trouble that the girls have been having, is once again because of Brian,” I tell them.

“I’ll have my parents sue the station for harassment. Let’s see how they like that,” Lindsay tells us, as if the reason they were arrested wasn’t the drugs in their house.

“Lindsay, do you really want your parents to find out why you and Mel were hauled in?” I ask.

“It’s bullshit, they are targeting us, and now we know why. I always knew Brian would be the reason our lives went to shit, but no one listened to me. Lindsay and Michael thought they could control the fucker, guess you both see what letting him around did to all of us,” Mel tells them, as if she didn’t like and use the money he provided.

“I don’t agree with what you did with the money Brian provided, but it shouldn’t have cost you Gus. I think when we finally get Gus away from Brian, the money should be trusted to someone who won’t let you use it the way you did,” I tell them, knowing I needed to show them how to do everything, the way I do with Michael.

“I don’t need anyone telling us what we can and can’t do with OUR money,” Mel tells me.

“Obviously you do, or you wouldn’t be sitting here, with Michael and I having to bail you out. Of course, you two could always go to your families when you get your asses in trouble. I have to say, Michael never got into the trouble you two have, because as his mother, I raised him better than your parents raised you,” I tell them.

“Yet your brother would rather forget he knows you and your brand of ‘Mothering’,” Mel smirks at me.

“Vic thinks he’s in love with Rodney. But sooner or later Vic will see what a burden he is and Rodney will get tired of it. Then he’ll have to beg me to let him return home,” I tell her.

“Instead of sitting around like a bunch of bickering children, figure out a way for us to get our lives back in order. I need a way to get a hold of Ted,” Michael tells them.

“Why? You only liked the status Ted gave you,” Lindsay sneered at him.

“Michael loves Ted,” I tell her, with my finger in her face.

“Yeah, I guess that’s how you see it. Mel let’s go, Sam is having a party tonight. It’s got to be better than sitting here eating greasy mac and cheese,” Lindsay says, getting up with Mel to leave.

“Leave, and don’t call when you want us to bail you out again. That was a lot of money, which you will pay back,” I tell them.

I smile as they sit back down. They understand who rules this roost. Vic will too.