JUSTIN

When Brian and I landed on the bed, there was absolutely no thought in my head but that a wall of Brian was on top of me. I now knew the numbers on his file might have been slightly wrong, it felt bigger. I would have commented on it, but well, his mouth attacking mine made talking a bit hard to do, and possibly the fact that my hands were checking if the abs I’d been salivating over were real. Yes they were. I would have probably stripped naked, but there was just something so wrong with using Gus’s bed. I managed to stop kissing him to explain my thought process on this,

“I think we need to slow down and maybe not do something on Gus’s bed,” I tell him, letting him kiss down my neck.

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything but this,” He lies, without blinking.

“You keep that up and I doubt it would matter, because it’s been a while for me,” I tell him.

“How long?” He asks, finally stopping.

“Before I decided to have Lily. It just didn’t seem right when I was having a baby to sleep with other men,” I tell him.

“I couldn’t resist when you stood there looking at me like that,” He tells me, kissing me and pulling my hands over my head.

“How did I look?” I ask.

“As if my happiness meant everything to you,” He kisses me again.

“I want us to show our children that life can be good. When you smile, I see the man you're working on becoming,” I tell him.

He lays beside me and pulls me to him. “There are still going to be days when I can’t manage a smile or to laugh, but it doesn’t have anything to do with you or our children. I still have to deal with things that went wrong in my life, and there will be times when I lash out if people crowd me. I need you to understand that about me. I’m not sure when or if that will change about me, and I don’t want you to ever feel that it has to do with you. It’s something Alex is working with me on, but I still sometimes react badly to anything that reminds me of my past,” He tells me.

“Then you help me figure out when you need me to back off. I’ve never understood depression, because I can bounce back when I get in a funk. Daphne and I talked about why others can’t, and her answer was because depression is like sand on the beach. A little you can brush off and continue on, but in the case of depression it’s like the sand keeps pouring in on you until it buries you under more than you can get away from,” I tell him.

“I’ve always thought it was like a riptide; you can’t get away from undertow that is going to take you under. I’ve worked on not avoiding it, but letting it do the damage until I could get to the shore. Emmett said he feels helpless when Ted and I can’t tell him what’s wrong, but it’s because we couldn’t tell you either. There isn’t one small thing, it’s everything,” He tells me.

“I’m here if you just need someone to help you find the shore,” I tell him, holding him tighter, never wanting him to get pulled under.

ALEX

It didn’t take me long to figure out who Brian’s sister was, she was the woman that had the officers practically tripping over themselves when she gave them a smile. I was planning on trying to get them out of here, but of course Debra saw me, and I’m public enemy number one for keeping Ted away from Michael.

“Look who’s here, the fucker who knows everything about nothing,” Debra yells over the cop trying to get her to sit down.

“Hey, was she talking to you or about herself? I’m Vicky, and you must be the man keeping my ass out of trouble. Which unfortunately won’t happen, because CJ found out when he called Diana wanting to know where we were,” Vicky tells me.

“I’m Alex, and I learned to ignore anything that comes out of Debra’s mouth,” I tell her.

“Really, because the woman seems to think no one can hear,” Diana tells me.

“Hey Debra, can you crank it down, we have a new friend to play with,” Vicky tells me, flirting.

“You need to shut your mouth. If it wasn’t for you none of us would have been here. They were the ones who attacked us first,” Lindsay tells the cop, who looks like he’d rather be sitting with Vicky and Diana.

“I seriously have to ask why Brian wanted THAT to be the mother of my nephew,” Vicky tells me.

“We all wonder, but Gus is worth anything they put Brian through,” I tell her.

“Not that I haven’t enjoyed the tour, but can you get Diana and I out of here before CJ shows up. Edward had to stay home with Gil and Jason,” She tells me, as if I should know everyone.

“My sons,” Diana tells me, as if she had to clear things up when Vicky talks.

“Too late, ladies,” A man who had to be CJ tells them.

“Brian is now my favorite,” Vicky pouts.

“Until he figures out that you and Diana are nuts,” CJ tells them.

“Honey, can you tell that one over there that she has nothing you want,” Diana demands of the giant.

“Which one?” He asks.

“The bitchy blonde who treated your brother as if he owed her because she had his baby,” Diana tells him, wrinkling her nose as if Lindsay smelled bad.

“I just thought we could talk alone. I am the mother of YOUR nephew,” Lindsay tells CJ, in a husky voice.

The look on CJ’s face should have told Lindsay what he thought of her. “Sorry, but being a mother is more than what comes from having ovaries,” He tells her, kissing his wife.

“You need to understand that Brian was mistaken, my lambskin is the most important thing in my life,” Lindsay tells him, twirling her hair, not caring how bad she looked with the bruise forming on her cheek.

“Is she for real?” CJ asks me.

“She thinks people fall for it,” I tell him.

“Lindsay?” He asks, like he didn’t get it.

“Yep, it works in the circle she’s in,” I tell him.

“Don’t listen to Alex, he has Brian convinced that Gus doesn’t need us,” Lindsay tells him.

“I’m convinced you’d be the last person anyone needs. Get over yourself, there is nothing that would make me listen to a woman who hurt a baby,” CJ tells her.

Mel started laughing and CJ didn’t like it. “You think this is funny?” He glares at her. “Do I need to post bail?” CJ asks Vicky.

“No, Vicky and Diana were free to go, they told me they just wanted to see the others in a cell,” The police officer sitting with them tells us.

“I’m not being arrested for them,” Lindsay tells him.

“Your being arrested for public disturbance, along with your little group,” He tells Lindsay.

“It sounds more like we’re being arrested because they’re Carl Horvath’s kids,” Michael joins in.

“According to your mother’s boss, and everyone else in the diner, Lindsay and Mel started this, and you seem to think you could take a swing at two women who only stopped in to eat,” He tells Michael.

“They poured food all over us!” Debra screeches.

“It doesn’t mean you try to throw glasses at them,” Kiki yells.

“Really? I missed that part,” Vicky says, enjoying herself.

“She missed and hit our boss,” Kiki tells her.

“She pulled hair out of my head,” Debra tells the cop, who orders her to sit down. “I won’t sit here and be blamed for what those girls did,” She tells him, poking his chest.

“They can’t come in the diner like they own the place and not expect us to take exception to it,” Michael tells everyone.

“Hey Michael, do you need more ice? I didn’t mean to kick you that hard,” Vicky tells him.

I look over as Michael stood up with a huge wet spot on his pants. Even I was wincing at what Vicky obviously kicked. CJ seemed to think the girls had their fun and hauled them out of their chairs as Debra asked if this was how the police treat people not related to a detective in their precinct.

“Ma’am, according to all the statements, your little group started it all. Regardless of what the girls did, or didn’t do, depending on who told us, it doesn’t give any of you the right to touch them,” He tells Debra. “With the many times we’ve had to haul you, your son, Ms. Peterson, and Ms. Marcus in, it just leads us to believe you were the problem, like you’ve been for the last year,” He tells them.

“It’s all Brian’s fault,” Michael tells him.

“Our little brother must have amazing skills, he managed to cause all your problems by getting the fuck away from you,” CJ tells them. “I think it’s time to go, otherwise I’ll be the one you arrest,” He tells us.

BRIAN

Justin convinced me we needed to go shopping for things Gus would eat. He didn’t think take-out was the way to go. I went with him to the grocery store, so I had a reason to stay with him. I’d already let Cynthia know I was going to take the time to get to know my family, which left me with nothing I had to do for the next few days. I wanted to spend it not just with my brother and sister, but the family I hoped to make with Justin and Lily.

I couldn’t really explain why I felt like I needed Justin as more than Lily’s father and a possible friend. It was something I never experienced before, he made it easier to breathe when I was with him. There wasn’t anything complicated about being with him. I made sure he understood that I’m far from perfect, almost as imperfect as anyone could be. I didn’t want him to think when I acted distant it was anything he did, so I talked about it, and he didn’t act like I was defective because of something I hate about myself. I got what Ted felt when he talked to Justin; it wasn’t a long discussion on why I can’t always deal with my past, it was a grain of sand or a rope to the shore when he told me to let him know what I needed from him. I was wrong, love does happen as fast as it decided, not what you decide.

Here I am following the man who means more than anyone has ever meant to me, just because he wants my son and I have what we need. I plan to give him the time he needs to see that Gus and I belong with him, and that he and Lily couldn’t have anyone love them more than we do. I grabbed a box of diapers to replace the hole left when he used the one in my perfect wall.

“Those go to your house,” He tells me, walking away.