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JUSTIN


CJ and Edward came by to see if Gus wanted come with them and the cousins for the day. I was gathering paintings that were ready to take to Wes, when Joan knocked on my door.


“I thought if it was okay, I could spend time with Lily. John and Peter wanted to help CJ with Gus,” She tells me.


“I was going to take her with me to drop of some paintings, if you want you could come with me. Someone has to hold Lily,” I tell her, to let her know she’d really be helping me.


“It’s a tough job, but I wouldn’t mind,” She jokes.


She followed me around my house, helping get the things I would need for Lily later. “I told Carl I could watch the kids if he wanted to do things with his other children,” She tells me.


“Carl wanted you and him to do it together. It sounds like he would like to get to know who you are now,” I tell her.


“I’m still finding that out. For now I’m a mother and grandmother,” She tells me.


“And a good one, from all I’ve seen and heard,” I tell her.


“I spent years being a bad one. So that is the biggest compliment someone can give me- that I reached good,” She tells me.


“Why not say you learned from your past and worked to improve your performance,” I tell her as we get in the car to go.


“Or that I strive to be better today than yesterday,” She tells me.


“I like that one, I’ll have to borrow it when a reporter thinks my work merits an article,” I tell her.


“Which Brian thinks will happen soon,” She tells me.


“He would, since he’s spent a lot for my work,” I joke.


“He wouldn’t if he didn’t think they were good. I saw them when I went to visit with Cynthia after hearing about them, I thought they were beautiful,” She tells me.


When we got to the gallery, Joan said she’d look around with Lily. Wes was waiting for me with Sam when I got there. I really didn’t know how many ways I could say no before he gave up.


“Sorry, he came by and wanted to talk to you. It’s really a great opportunity, and one that you should consider,” Wes tells me.


“I have. But right now there are other things that make it not something I want to do,” I tell them both.


“Why not talk to Sam and figure out if he can help you change your mind,” Wes tells me, leaving us alone.


“Tell me what you need from me for you to agree,” Sam tells me.


“It’s nothing about showing with you,” I tell him, not really wanting to bring up the real reason.


“I’m sending Lindsay home. Because I got the impression, until she started talking, that you were prepared to do the show. She likes to believe she knows everything about art. Too bad what she doesn’t understand could fill a few bookshelves. If having her around bothering you is the problem, she won’t be here, and I’ll have her barred from the show for almost ruining it,” Sam tells me.


“Give me a call when you’ll let me see why you think my art would work with yours,” I tell him.


“Can I see what you have for Wes?” He asks.


“If you want to,” I tell him, thrilled that he seemed so interested in my work.


“Why choose this subject?” He asks.


“It shows the people they forgot they were. All three of the paintings are of the people in my life. Brian with Gus, after finding out Lily was his daughter; the wariness was gone from both their eyes that day. With Ted, listening to music as if he'd been deaf all his life, and showing the joy of finally hearing. Emmett’s was how I imagined he would be, dancing without a care in the world. They've changed in the short time I’ve known them and I wanted them to see it. I felt it fit into my theme,” I tell him.


“You've always impressed me with how you view the world,” He tells me.


“How do you think I view the world?” I ask.


“You still see the good in it. It's why people talk about you. Your paintings give them a way of not always thinking everything is getting worse as time goes on,” He tells me.


“I guess for me, only seeing tragedy and atrocities is easy, but seeing healing and the world renewed gives us a reason to keep living,” I tell him.


“It's the reason I need you in my show, to show that after all the evils were let out, there was still enough hope for man to overcome it,” He tells me.


“I'm honored it speaks to you,” I tell him.


“I'm honored by the privilege of having a great artist allow me to use his work. Now I have some house cleaning to take care of. Give me a couple days and hopefully I'll impress you,” He smirks, as he leaves.


I left to go find Joan and Lily, not expecting to see Sam dragging Lindsay behind him as she stared at Joan and Lily. When she saw me, she pulled away from Sam.


“What are you doing with him?” Lindsay asks Joan, looking at me.


“Getting lessons on how to be a better mother,” Joan tells her.


“You think you're better than me, after what you did to your son…”


“Do you really want to compare? I'm sure the man waiting for you hasn't heard what I know,” Joan tells her, cutting her off.


“I wonder how he would feel if he knew about you,” Lindsay says, looking at me. “You’re letting a drunk hold your child,” She tells me.


It angered me that Joan was letting Lindsay upset her. “I'm letting my daughter meet a person who would walk through fire to save her, not someone who forgets a child is around,” I tell her, pissed that I let my temper get the better of me.


“You know nothing about me, but I could tell you horror stories about her,” Lindsay spits out at me.


“Are you done acting like a jackass?” Sam asks her, not hiding he was pissed. “If you aren't then I hope you have a place to go tonight,” He tells her, as a warning before walking out.


“I'm going to find out all about you,” She says, as if to scare me, before chasing after Sam.


“Everything she knows about me, everything she said, is true,” Joan says quietly.


“Remember, every day you're becoming better than the last one,” I tell her, squeezing her shoulder.


“It's definitely not something Lindsay could say,” She tells me, letting it go.


DEB


Vic thinks this bullshit piece of paper changes everything I've done for him? Well I wasn’t going to let him. I made a point of going to all the places he frequented and making it so he had to leave. Family doesn’t turn on you, and it's something Vic needs to learn. On my days off I stayed at the center, doing everything for the patients that I did for Vic. I wanted him to hear from them how much I did, and remember he was once the person who benefited from it.

 

 

I wanted Michael and the girls to come, but Lindsay went to entertain Sam, and the other two disappeared without a word. Lindsay and I are going to talk about her and Sam. If she wants to convince anyone she and Mel are the parents Gus needs they can’t keep fucking around with other people. Mel and Lindsay seem to think copying the asshole will help them, like it did him.


“Deb, I really would like to rest,” Mark tells me.


I looked over at Mark who was in the late stages of AIDS. “Honey, you're going to get all the rest you need soon,” I joke.

 

“Which I didn’t need you to think was a joke,” He tells me.


“I’ll leave you to rest,” I tell him, thinking he needed to lighten up.


“Deb, could I talk to you?” Alan, one of the guys who runs the center, asks.


“Sure. Did you need me to help with some of the others?” I ask.


“I’ve had some complaints. While we thank anyone who volunteers their time, we also have to make sure the patients are happy and comfortable,” He tells me.


“I feed them, help them when they need it, what’s to complain about?” I ask.


“You're also saying things that I’m sure you find funny, but no one else does. And talking about things that I’m sure Vic wouldn’t have appreciated you saying. We all like Vic, and the patients think it’s cruel the way you talk about him as though what he went through was nothing in comparision to you showing up, and I quote, ‘Wiping his ass.’ As if he could help that he needed help, and it’s something the people here have needed and would like to think you wouldn’t announce to the whole center the way you do about Vic. I’m not asking you not come here if you want to help, but to understand that they know their lives are shorter, but having you joke about it isn’t funny to them, or me,” He tells me.


“They need to get the sticks out of their asses,” I tell him.


“Or you need to get the one you seem to have about your brother out of yours. I’m sorry to say that, but when Vic comes they enjoy having him around and I know he hasn’t been here because you seem to come to keep him away,” He tells me.


I walked out, not bothering to tell him where he could take that statement. I got home, still upset at how Alan thought I was doing anything but offering the guys a shoulder to cry on. I wanted to call Vic and yell at him, but he changed his number. My phone rang a hour after I cleaned the kitchen again and I was ready to yell at Michael for not being around.


“Ma, I need you to come bail me out,” Michael rushes out.


“Why are you in jail?” I ask.


“Mel wanted to talk to Lindsay and I went with her. I thought it was time to talk to Ted,” He tells me.


“Why are you in jail?” I ask again.


“Ted let the cops take me, he wouldn’t listen to me. I wanted him to know I was ready to take him back,” Michael tells me, sounding sad.


“He called the cops?” I ask, not understanding why.


“Brian probably made him,” He tells me.


“The asshole is only doing this because he likes to hurt you. I’ll be there as soon as I can, and then I’ll be the one talking to Brian Fucking Kinney,” I fume.


“That wouldn’t help,” Michael tells me.


“Why not?” I ask.


“Remember the registered letters we got?” He asks, dragging this out.


“Just tell me, I have to get to the bank to get money to bail you out, I don’t have all day,” I tell him.


“They were from a lawyer Brian hired. It’s the same restraining orders he had in Pittsburgh, but for New York. He has them on Mel and Lindsay too. Mel’s here too, I saw her while I was being processed, so she needs to be bailed out too,” He tells me.


“Then tell her to call her wife, I’m not working to take care of her too,” I tell him.


“Thanks Ma, but you know Mel will call you,” He tells me.


“Mel can sit in jail as far as I’m concerned, you wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t chasing Lindsay,” I tell him, hanging up.


I didn’t care what Brian thought, he was going to hear it from me. It was time to get him and Vic to understand that you don’t mess with me and mine. Ted needed to see that Brian was the one who caused it all. Ted lost Michael because of Brian not liking seeing my son happy.


I got to the bank, realizing Mel and Lindsay needed to start paying me back. I barely had enough for the bail and the ticket to get to my son. I knew Mel had some savings, and she’d have to start digging into it, because I don’t have Ron Peterson to indulge me the way he does Lindsay. Which made me think maybe it was time to see Ron. I had a few hours before I was leaving anyway.


Nancy was coming out of the house when my cab pulled up. “I need to talk to Ron,” I tell her.


“We’ve already donated to our causes,” She tells me, like I was here begging.


“I’m here because your daughter and her wife got my son in trouble. I plan to help my son but the girls owe me money for all the times I bailed them out,” I tell her.


“Like I said, we’ve already donated to our causes, and that cause isn’t one we are going to continue to donate to,” She tells me, going to her car.


“She’s your daughter and you treat her like a charity,” I tell her, leaning on her door.


“She and Mel seem to think they are, and from what I can tell, your son thinks the same of you,” She tells me.


“Sister, you have a lot to learn about loving your kid,” I tell her.


“You need to learn when your advice isn’t wanted. I accept that I was never a good mother, but I don’t accept that my daughter treats it as a way to pad her bank account. I should have listened to Brian, but it was easier to hope Lindsay would find a new hobby,” She tells me.


“She loves Gus,” I tell her.


“She was killing Gus with that ‘love’. Did you really think the doctors made up the reports, or was it easier to believe my daughter, because then it was the doctors lying? Which meant your son’s boyfriend was, what did they say in court, ‘Looking for attention’, wasn’t it?” She asks me.


“My son loves Ted,” I hiss at her.


“So much that he watched while Brian had to get Ted the help he needed. Even I can’t top that one, for being the cold hearted bitch that Lindsay tells everyone I am,” She tells me. “Thank you for letting me know once again that she couldn’t listen to a word I said. But now I really must go, tennis, you understand,” She tells me, opening the car door pushing me off.

 

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