JUSTIN

I woke up to Gus crying and searching my room. I didn’t know what to make of it. He tried to get out the door, but couldn’t reach the handle to open it. I got up, feeling like shit and in pain, to get to him.

“Daddy. I need Daddy,” He whimpered.

“Gus, I’m sure he’ll be back,” I tell him.

“Where’d he go?” He sits on the floor, crying and breaking my heart.

I managed to sit on the floor, but didn’t know what to do. How did the happy kid turn into this? He wedged himself into the corner behind the door and I knew he couldn’t sit there, but when I tried to move him, he completely lost it. The door started to open with Brian talking over the screaming.

“Brian, he’s behind the door,” I yelled to be heard.

“Gus, I can’t come in if you don’t move. I have Shelly with me,” Brian tells him.

“Why weren’t you here?” Gus cries even more, before finally getting up.

“I thought I could get back before you woke up. Gus I’m here,” Brian finally gets in and pulls Gus in his arms.

“You brought me Shell,” Gus smiles through the tears.

“I came to see your Lily. Daddy was only showing me the baby,” Shelly tells him.

“I’m going to take him to get something to eat. Justin, this is Shelly,” Brian tells us, leaving with Gus clinging to him.

“I pray one day Gus will get over this,” Shelly tells me.

“What was that?” I ask, getting up with her help.

“That was what the bitches did to that poor boy,” She tells me, pulling the blanket back and putting me in bed.

“I only met them yesterday, so I don't understand what I just saw. Gus seemed like a very happy kid,” I tell her.

“You caught him on a good day. Unfortunately they aren’t all good for those men and Gus.” She tells me.

“They did seem... I don't really know how to describe it. I guess, like they were surprised by Gus talking to me.” I tell her.

“It surprised me, Gus doesn’t talk to anyone but the guys and me. I hardly believed Emmett when he told me about it.” She tells me.

“I want to ask, but it's not like they owe me any explanation.” I tell her.

“I can explain Gus, the others will have to tell you if they want,” She tells me.

“Why tell me anything? I'm just the guy they helped out,” I tell her.

“Brian wants Gus to have people around him, but we can't get him to talk to strangers or even other children. There's something about you and that precious baby that brought out the child we know is in Gus,” She tells me.

“Kids have always seemed to trust me. My sister… she used to say I was the best brother,” I tell her, trying not to get upset.

“What does she say now?” She asks.

“Nothing, she died with my mother,” I tell her.

“I'm sorry,” She tells me, rubbing my arm.

“Can we talk about something else?” I ask, nicely.

“Unfortunately Gus’s story isn't much better,” She tells me.

“It's okay if you don’t want to tell me. It's not like I'm anyone to them. I’m nothing more than the guy who they helped out,” I tell her.

“I think the boys saw a potential friend in you. If it keeps Gus talking, then I hope you will want to be in their lives. Ted smiled and laughed telling me about you, which is a big thing for him. I doubt you'll see the last of them when you get out of the hospital, but you're going to see things like what just happened. If you're going to be around, you need to understand,” She tells me.

“Then tell me, please. It was hard to have to watch him and not know what to do,” I tell her.

“Brian had Gus with someone who convinced him she wanted a child. Lindsay and her wife Mel, promised Brian that Gus would be raised in a loving home,” She growled out the last part. “Only it seemed that when Gus wasn’t what the girls expected, seen but not heard, they treated him like a puppy that was no longer wanted. They left him alone, only paying attention if someone was watching them. Gus was having to take care of himself while they were partying and forgetting he was around. Brian blames himself for not seeing what Gus’s life was like. The girls would put on a show when he was over, but from what I heard in court, the show ended the minute Brian left. Gus suffered from malnutrition, because he was eating whatever the girls left out when they passed out drunk. It took time to get Gus to eat at a table, because he never had before. Gus’s biggest fear is Brian disappearing, because that's how his mothers got him to not say anything, by telling him that Daddy would never come back if he told. Now it's like he's afraid to talk because of what his… those women, told him.” She tells me.

“I saw it, but didn't realize it. When Brian walked over to me yesterday, eventually Gus showed up crying,” I tell her.

“Even with all of us showing Gus that we care, Brian is the only one that calms him down. It's why, when Gus initiated contact with you, the boys were surprised. Brian can't even go to work without taking Gus with him,” She tells me.

“The guys mentioned him starting a business, at least he won't lose his job for doing what Gus needs,” I tell her.

“His clients have all thought it was cute to see the future leader of Kinnetik sitting on Brian’s lap,” She laughs.

“Kinnetik?” I ask, almost busting out laughing.

“It's his firm,” She tells me.

“It's also the firm that purchased my art,” I tell her.

“Those were yours?” She smiles.

“One of my first big commissions. I was there yesterday installing the last painting they commissioned before I met the man who bought them,” I tell her.

“He said he saw new life in the way you painted.” She tells me.

“I said the promise of new life,” Brian says, coming in with a happier Gus.

“I’m glad you understood what I was doing. A lot of people didn’t see it,” I tell him.

“Why did you paint it like that?” Shelly asks, when Gus climbs in bed with me.

“I was bringing a new life into the world. I wanted her to see the world as a place where everything wasn’t a giant mess, but a place we can one day be proud of. It was wanting to give her something to look forward to,” I tell them.

“Why sell them, if that was your intention?” Brian asks me.

“I like keeping a roof over our heads more, without having to take jobs where you ask ‘do you want fries with that?’ My art is starting to sell, and if I want to keep painting I sell what people want to buy,” I tell him.

“I could use an artist, if you ever need to earn more,” Brian tells me.

“For Ads?” I ask.

“Every Ad starts with my art department creating a concept. Where the campaign ends up depends on what my artists show the client. You’re good, or I wouldn’t have bought the paintings,” He tells me.

“I need you to write a letter to my father,” I joke, tickling Gus.

“Why?” Shelly asks, smiling at Gus.

“So I can rub it in his face that being an artist is more than playing. He thinks I’m only fooling myself that I can do it for a living,” I tell them.

“I thought MY life was full of assholes,” Brian comments.

“Your life is full of the right people now. The assholes are in Pittsburgh,” She tells him.

I didn’t know what to say to that, Shelly was saying it as if to get Brian to see something. I would guess it was the women who treated Gus like a plaything. It got quiet until the nurse came in with Lily. Gus was watching everything I did when they handed Lily to me. I felt like he was making sure I didn’t hurt Lily.

“She’s hungry,” Gus tells me, watching me feed her a bottle.

“You can help me hold the bottle if you want,” I tell him.

“She can’t do it?” Gus asks.

“Not yet, she’s not strong enough,” I tell him.

“Lily will get strong like me, then maybe she can open the doors,” He tells me.

“Lily will always have me to help her. I promise you that if a door needs to be opened, I’ll help her and you,” I tell him, wanting to find the people who made him think like that.

“Gus, we can come back, but Daddy needs to go see Cynthia,” Brian tells him.

“I stay with Lily,” He tells Brian.

“Gus, I won’t be here,” Brian tells him.

“Lily will,” He tells us.

“Shelly can you stay with Lily for a second. I need to talk to Justin,” Brian tells her.

“How about Gus, Lily and I go get a drink, Justin really shouldn’t be walking around.” She tells us both.

Gus only left after Brian promised to stay until he got back. He followed Shelly, trusting her more than me with Lily, I really tried not to take it as an insult.

“He knows Shelly will take care of everything,” Brian tells me.

“After what she told me, I can understand,” I tell him.

“I don’t think Gus understands that I won’t be here with you,” He tells me.

“I understand. You don’t know me and leaving him with me…”

“It’s not about leaving him with you. It’s that Gus gets scared when I’m not around. What he did earlier was tame. You just had a baby, and I don’t want you to end up having Gus get upset when I’m not back for a few hours,” He tells me.

“If something happens, I can call you. I’m sure you would get more done faster if Lily and I keep him occupied,” I tell him.

“Would it bother you if I ask Shelly to stay with you? She could at least be there so you're not trying to deal with Lily and Gus,” He asks.

“I don’t mind, it’s not like I have millions of people coming to see me,” I tell him.

“I wondered why no one came,” He tells me, looking out the window.

“They didn’t want me doing it, so what you're seeing is the support I got for doing it anyway,” I tell him.

“Then they aren’t friends. I learned who my true friends were before coming here. Your real friends stick by you even when they hate what you’re doing,” He tells me.

“I never said they were friends. My only real friend is Daphne. Who is going to kill me that I haven’t called her yet,” I tell him.

“Why didn’t she check on you?” He asks, as if doubting Daphne.

“She’s at Med school in Maryland, getting a degree to be a Psychiatrist. She was coming when Lily was due. In all the excitement I forgot to call her,” I tell him.

“I guess I’ll meet her soon,” He tells me.

“You plan on being around longer?” I ask.

“Gus likes you,” He tells me, as Gus runs in with Shelly and Lily.

“Bye Daddy,” Gus tells Brian.

“Sonny boy, I’m not going to get back for a few hours. Are you sure you want to stay?” Brian asks.

“Lily needs me,” He tells Brian.

“Justin is here to take care of her,” He tells Gus.

“I can help him, pleassssseee,” Gus begs.

“I’ll be here too,” Shelly tells him.

“Call me for any reason,” Brian tells me, writing down his number.

“Hopefully we won’t need to, but I promise if we do, you’ll get a call,” I tell him.

Brian stood there, as if waiting for Gus to realize he was leaving. Gus started singing to Lily, ignoring Brian. Brian left, but I saw him standing in the hall as if still waiting. It broke something inside me, seeing the way he didn’t know what to do. I picked up my phone and took a picture of Gus smiling at Lily and sent it to him. He looked at it and then walked away.