Part Five



What is this?  Justin held up his notebook in front of Brian’s face.  He had brushed past Cynthia and stormed right into Brian’s office on Monday afternoon.



Brian smiled at his lover.  “I’m glad you’re here.  I had something to give you and you saved me a trip.”  He handed Justin an envelope filled with $100 bills—50 of them.



Justin’s eyes widened and he tried to shove the money back at Brian.



“No, that’s yours,” Brian insisted.  “That’s the standard fee we pay per project to freelance artists who do work for us.  You earned that money.  It’s cash so you don’t have to report it if you choose not to accept the internship.  But it’s yours either way.”



That brought Justin’s attention back to his original reason for storming in here.  He had been stopped by the dean of students to discuss the offer of an internship that had come from Kinnetik that morning.  He gushed about how it would set him up for a successful career after graduation, how it was such a privilege since they usually only took seniors, but they wanted Justin right away.  Justin had read over the details of the internship and was shocked.



Why? Justin wrote.



“Because you are a very talented graphic designer and I want you on my team,” Brian said.  “This has absolutely nothing to do with our personal association.”



It’s too much, Justin argued.



“It’s a standard internship contract,” Brian told him.  “The only difference is that we made accommodations for childcare reimbursement. Most of our interns aren’t parents, so that had to be added for you, but otherwise, it’s exactly the same contract that our current intern signed.  And believe me when I tell you she isn’t half as talented as you are.”



Justin frowned. Everything that Brian said rang true, and it matched with what the dean had told him, yet this still seemed too good to be true.  There had to be a catch somewhere.



Brian walked around his desk and pulled Justin into his arms.  “I promise.  The only catch is that you and I won’t be able to do this at work if you sign that contract, at least not where others can see us.  Nothing else will change.  I swear it.”  And then he kissed Justin.



When Justin could think again, Brian was looking down and smiling.  “So?”



Justin smiled and nodded.



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Justin never got around to asking Brian what his intentions were, as he had decided to do on the dance floor at Babylon.  Within days of signing the contract, he was starting his new internship. Between getting settled into the new routine, settling everything with his social worker, and keeping up with his midterms, Justin didn’t have time to think about his concerns. Meanwhile, Brian kept coming around two or three evenings a week, usually bringing some form of takeout food with him.  He played with Danny and let Justin work until Danny went to bed and then the two would inevitably end up naked and sweaty.  Sometimes Brian spent the night and sometimes he went home…it usually depended upon how early he had to be at the office in the morning.



The weekends had taken on a new routine as well.  They always spent Friday night at Brian’s loft with Danny sleeping in a portable crib he had gotten from Lindsey.  They would spend all day Saturday together, doing things just the three of them.  And then they would drop Danny off at Debbie’s and then they would spend the night at Babylon and fucking.  After they picked up Danny, Sundays were usually at Justin’s if he had schoolwork to do, or Brian’s if he was caught up.



They had never discussed their relationship.  They hadn’t defined what they were or where they were going or even if they had a future at all.  But when Brian brought Justin and Danny to meet Gus for the first time, he felt like maybe Brian was as serious about them as he was.  It was the fourth Saturday that they had spent together and it was the first time Justin had met Lindsey and Melanie as well.



I’m so glad to finally meet you, Lindsey told Justin as she pulled him into the living room.  Brian had already disappeared up the stairs, presumably to get Gus.  Brian talks about you and Danny all the time.



He talks about Gus too, Justin signed.  One nice thing about visiting Lindsey was that she actually knew sign language.  In fact she had been helping Brian relearn and the brunet was doing much better with communicating now.  And you.  He doesn’t usually say much about Melanie.



I suppose that’s better than bitching about her, Lindsey signed ruefully.  He tells me you are a great artist.  I would love to see some of your work sometime.



I have a portrait of Brian that is going to be shown at the end of semester show in December, Justin told her. You should come.



It’s a great representation of my cock, Brian signed as he returned with Gus running at his feet.



“Why are you and Mommy doing that stuff with your hands?” Gus asked his daddy.



“Well, some people can’t hear like we can and this is how they talk to each other,” Brian said and signed.  It not only helped Justin know what was being said, it helped Brian practice his signing. “This is my friend Justin and his son Danny.  Justin can’t hear, so we talk with our hands so he can understand us.”



Gus looked at the blond man smiling at him and asked, “How do I say hello?”  Brian showed him how to wave his hand and he laughed when Justin and Danny both waved back at him.  “Danny knows sign language too!”



“A little bit,” Brian agreed.  In fact, in the last couple weeks, Danny had begun signing Daddy when he wanted Justin, eat when he was hungry and up when he wanted picked up.  He also recognized about a dozen signs when Justin used them, like yes, no and stop. He had also gotten a few dada’s verbally.  Brian felt rather happy that he was around to see these steps.



“You ready to go to the zoo with Daddy and Justin?” Lindsey asked, signing as she spoke.



“Yes!” Gus shouted and Danny looked a little startled before he giggled and tried to crawl over to the boy.



It was a promising start to the day.



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Brian and Justin brought Danny over to Mel and Lindsey’s on Halloween and the two boys went trick-or-treating together with three adults as chaperones while Melanie stayed back to pass out candy. She was now seven months pregnant and didn’t want to walk around the neighborhood all evening. Gus was adorable in pirate costume and Danny was dressed as a lion complete with a big mane and tail. Gus had picked out both costumes when Brian had taken him shopping the week before.



Once back at the house, Danny and Gus played together on the floor while the adults drank hot cider.  When bedtime came around, Danny fell asleep in Justin’s arms and he put him down on a blanket in the living room while Brian took Gus up to read him a bedtime story.



“It’s hard to believe that’s the same Brian,” Melanie groused after Brian was out of earshot.



Why?  Justin asked and Lindsey interpreted for Melanie.



“Brian hasn’t always been the most involved father,” Lindsey said diplomatically.



He gave Gus to you, Justin signed.  Maybe he felt he wouldn’t be welcome if he tried to be more involved. Brian told me that Gus was the best thing in his life the first time he met Danny.



“Brian wouldn’t let that kind of shit stop him,” Melanie said.



Justin disagreed, but there was nothing he could say to argue the point without breaking Brian’s confidence.  It was sad that these two women couldn’t see what he saw, though.



“How is school going?” Lindsey asked to change the subject and Justin let her. When Brian came back down, there was no indication that he had ever been the subject of their conversation.



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November seemed to fly by for Brian.  He was in the midst of the pre-Christmas media blitz.  All the preparations had been in place since September for most clients, but he had to make sure that the television, print and internet and social networking ads all hit on time and in the manner that they were intended.  Inevitably there were crises that came up every year.  This year, the Blakely Toys ads got bumped from their primetime national spots and he had to raise hell with the networks and smooth things over with Blakely.  Then two-thirds of their ads on Facebook got misdirected by a hacker and they had to get their IT people working with Facebook to fix the issue as quickly as possible.



He was so caught up with his work that he didn’t realize that something was up with Justin until the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  He called up to the art department one afternoon and they told him that he had call in sick.  Brian frowned and decided that he needed to stop by and see his Justin after work.



When Brian let himself into the apartment that evening, he found Justin sitting on the sofa crying, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs while Danny patted his Daddy’s face and tried to comfort him.  Justin had felt the matt alarm go off on his special watch, so he wasn’t surprised when Brian sat beside him and drew Justin into his arms.  Danny climbed into Brian’s lap and continued to pat Justin’s head as the blond cried his heart out.  It was then that Brian remembered; Jennifer Taylor had died a year ago today.



When the tears began to slow, Justin sat up a little and kissed Danny.



Daddy hurt, Danny told Brian.



“Daddy’s okay, Danny,” Brian said and signed.



Danny signed, Okay?



Yes, Justin signed and kissed Danny again.  His tears had stopped completely and he was able to give the baby a smile.  Danny climbed down and crawled across the floor to the blanket where Justin kept his toys.  I didn’t think it would hit me this hard.  I knew the anniversary was coming, but… I’ve been a mess all day.



Why didn’t you call me?  Brian asked.  I would have come over.



Justin wasn’t really sure how to tell Brian that he hadn’t known that.  Not really.  Their relationship was still so new and undefined.  Instead of answering, he laid his head back on Brian’s chest and absorbed the comfort he offered.  The worst part of that day was just how alone he had felt.  It had been a reminder that he no longer had the one person who had always been with him.  But as Brian stroked his hair and let him curl up against him, he thought maybe he didn’t have to be alone.



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Brian brought Justin and Danny to Debbie’s for Thanksgiving. It was normally overcrowded, but Mel and Lindsey had taken Gus to visit Melanie’s family this year, Ted and Blake had reconnected and decided to go away for the long weekend, and Hunter was at his girlfriend’s house.  That just left, Mikey, the Professor, Emmett, Debbie and Carl and the three late arrivals.



“Late as usual,” Mikey taunted.



“Don’t blame me,” Brian said and signed.  “Danny decided to dump his juice on my sweater and Justin insisted I had to go home and change to look presentable.”



Don’t blame Danny, Justin signed.  You are the one who gave him the juice box and then tickled him. And I told you that you could hardly see the stain.



“What did he say?” Debbie asked.



“He apologized profusely for making us late,” Brian said and signed and then sucked his lips between his teeth.  Justin hit him in the arm.



“Somehow I get the feeling that wasn’t what he said,” Ben chuckled.  “Good to see you again, Justin.  And this must be Danny.”



Danny watched all the new people a little warily.  And when Justin moved to sit him down so he could take off his coat, the boy was immediately tugging on Brian’s pants and signing up. Then he also made a B and held it by his forehead before wiggling his fingers.



“I get up,” Debbie said, “but what was that second sign.”  She was learning some the simple signs that Danny used often.



Brian looked at Justin with raised eyebrows.  Danny had never made that sign to him before and he didn’t recognize it.



Justin smiled at Brian.  He made a made a B and held it by his heart, his sign for Brian.  Then he made the sign for Daddy, an open hand with all five fingers spread and the thumb touching his forehead and fingers wiggling.  Brian frowned and repeated the signs that Justin made and then looked at Danny in his arms.  He made a D and moved it from his forehead to his heart, the sign for Danny and then pointed to Danny.  Danny giggled and repeated the sign and pointed to himself.  Brian pointed to himself and Danny giggled again.  He liked this game.  He put the B to his forehead again and waggled his fingers.



“What?”  Debbie demanded.  The hearing people had all been watching this interchange eagerly.  “What does it mean?”



Brian shook his head, still feeling slightly bemused.  “He’s calling me Daddy Brian.”



“Da da da,” Danny chanted and giggled.



Justin came over and gave Brian a kiss on the cheek.  He came up with that on his own.  I’ve been trying to teach him Grandma Debbie, but this he did himself.



Everyone smiled and awed when Danny made the sign a third time.  Everyone except Michael.  Brian noticed, but he waited until Justin and Danny were showing Emmett and Ben how he could take a couple steps on his own now in the living room and Debbie and Carl were busy in the kitchen before pulling his friend aside.  They went out to the backyard and Brian lit up a joint.



“I thought you gave up this shit after the cancer,” Michael said, but he took a hit when Brian offered.



“I gave up everything else,” Brian shrugged.  “I have to keep one vice.”  He took another hit and turned to his friend.  “What was with that frown earlier?  You have a problem with Danny calling me Daddy?”



Michael sucked in a lungful of the acrid smoke and held it while he formulated his reply.  It was a short reprieve.  “I just think it’s irresponsible to let the kid get that attached to you if you aren’t going to be around for the long haul.  You didn’t even want to be responsible for Gus and he’s your kid, why would you want to take on another man’s child?”



Brian took his joint from his friend and hit it twice before he answered.  “First of all, I love Gus and if something ever happened to Melanie and Lindsey, I’d be the first one there to take care of him.  But as it stands, I have to walk a very fine line between what I want and what they want and what Gus needs.”



He took another hit and offered the joint to Michael, who waved him off.  “Second, who says I don’t plan on being around for the long haul with Justin and Danny?  Danny’s a great kid.  I love spending time with him. And Justin… is special.  Gus loves them both.  Why wouldn’t I be there for them?”



Michael looked incredulous. “Because you’re Brian Fucking Kinney.  You don’t do relationships or love.  How many times have you told me that over the years?”



“Things change,” Brian said quietly.  “You and the professor have moved to Stepford-fag heaven.  Teddy has his formerly tweaked-out twink.  Even your mom is fucking living in sin with Carl.  Why can’t I change too?”



Michael was speechless.  He stared at Brian realized he was completely serious.  “How… when… Christ Brian. I don’t know what the fuck to say to that.”



“Say congratulations and wish me luck,” Brian said wryly.



“Congratulations,” Michael said.  “I hope he can make you happy.  You deserve that.”



“So does he,” Brian said.