BRIAN

I'll give it to Blake, when he wants to avoid something, he manages it without being obvious. Only Justin knows Blake past and present, and one thing Justin was always capable of was making you face yourself. Watching him act like he had no idea who Emmett was, showed me I underestimated Blake's ability to act his ass off. I wanted to ask if he was as frustrated as I was when I did this the last time, knowing everything.

He tried to get out of going to the restaurant with us, but Justin told him they needed to talk about the new book and the car ride would give them enough time to discuss it. I could see the frustration in Blake when Justin kept veering off subject and then telling Blake since they hadn't had a chance to talk, he might as well eat with us. Blake followed my sneaky twat into the restaurant, not ready to come face to face with Emmett’s surprise.

Blake took one look at Ted and ran to the bathroom. I followed him in and stood next to him at the sink. “When did you figure it out?” I ask him.

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

“Running isn’t going to change his life. Ted was always a workaholic, but you gave him a reason to turn off the computer and throw the paperwork in a drawer. Without you he would have died at his desk, because you were his reason to stop and enjoy life. Without you he’ll never fully invest himself in a relationship.” I tell him.

“You know, there are doctors who can help you.” He tells me, trying to blow it off.

“I always come back when Justin does, it’s because neither of us can exist without the other. The first time, neither of us knew, but for some reason he was the one person I couldn’t push away. We stumbled through in the dark, hurting each other, but kept coming back because our relationship was and always will be our strength. We got to try again, knowing where we went wrong, and we built a life we were proud of, you have that chance with Ted.” I tell him.

“Without me, he wouldn’t have almost died, he wouldn't have screwed up with crystal. I saw the life we lived before.” He tells me, finally relenting.

“Ben’s been a busy boy. I’m assuming he showed you the time line that we wiped out of existence. We did that because it was never supposed to happen, therefore you need to ask why Ben was showing it to you. Especially when he showed up and dated Ted.” I tell him.

“What?” Blake asks.

“Ted didn’t meet the man who owns half his soul, so Ben was able to slip in there. Only you can be what you are to Ted. If you want to continue this idiotic idea that Ted would be better off without you, then Ted will end up like Michael, going from one person to the next, never really being able to love anyone. Or you go out there and meet Ted, who doesn’t come with baggage, because my twat seems to think we all need to have loving homes instead of the shitty ones we came from.” I tell him.

“Justin was the one person who never brought up my past. I know it's why I went to him, he was the little part of the past I allowed myself.” He tells me.

“You're going to miss out on the best parts if you let what Ben showed you be the only thing you see.” I tell him.

Blake closed his eyes before nodding.

“It’s a clean slate this time. It’s amazing the life you can live when you know where things went wrong. Don’t let Ben do what Lindsay tried with Justin and me.” I tell him.

Emmett and Justin came waltzing in, like it was my conference room and not a bathroom.

“Drew just showed up, I needed a minute.” Emmett tells us.

“I’m just the guy Emmett drags around, in every life.” Justin laughs.

“You all remember? But you didn’t even recognize me when I came to you.” Blake tells Justin.

“I only recently started remembering. I had hints in my dreams, but it took Brian showing up for it all to come back. How long have you known?” Justin asks him.

“I came back already an adult, living a life this me was already living. I'm just thankful my family was still the same and I only had a few people I consider friends. It took coming to your office with my book and seeing you before I figured out I wasn't crazy.” He tells Justin.

“I almost checked in to treat my crazy. When I was young like Gus, my mom tried to tell me my imaginary friends needed to go. I kept seeing all of you in my head and decided to ‘come to hell’ as my mom puts it, and find out if the psych ward was missing a patient. It really sucked to find Michael first, but Teddy was there, so it made Michael still being a pain in the ass easier. I think Brian understood when I nearly strangled him to death when we met.” Emmett tells him.

“You've known the whole time?” Blake asks me.

“I guess I did when I was younger. My parents recently reminded me about the teddy bear I threw a fit over in the store. According to my mother it was unusual for me to throw tantrums, but it was like the one Jen gave me for Gus when Justin died in the life before. I don't remember, but Marty said we forget eventually as we grow up. For me, it was during one of Ian’s ‘I'm superior’ speeches; he compared himself to great musicians and artists, then it all came flooding back. Unlike Emmett though, I knew why I was back, to get you and Ted on track. Which means you need to stop seeing a life that no longer exists. I have children who are waiting for the life Justin and I constantly come back to have.” I tell him.

“I don’t understand why Ben did this, why make me see all the horrible parts of Ted and I?” Blake asks.

“Justin and I have our theory, but Brian doesn’t believe us.” Emmett tells him, sitting on the counter with Justin, making themselves at home.

“We sort of want Ben to think I'm still in the dark.” Justin tells him, with twinkle dee nodding like a bobble-head doll next to him.

“Ben keeps making it seem like he wants Justin.” Emmett adds.

“Only he never really bothered much with me unless Brian was around, and I discount Michael because if Michael was around so was Brian. Well, not when I left Brian the first time, but in a way I think Ben saw it as his in with Brian.” Justin tells him, starting to worry me that he and Emmett share a brain.

“Here's the part where you have to allow a bit of poetic license, the way Ben did with the story of Justin and Brian’s life. We think Ben thought that with Justin out of the picture, he, with Michael’s help, would comfort Brian.” Emmett tells him.

“Only in usual Mikey fashion, he wanted Brian alone and left Ben to sit home while only Mikey got to help Brian get over the ‘twink that wouldn’t leave’.” Justin tells him, enjoying this way too much.

“Ben never seemed like he wanted Brian.” Blake tells them, proving to be the sane one.

“I forgot to ask, what happened after the night with Ben at The White Party?” Justin asks me.

“Nothing different, I fucked the guys worth my time and came home.” I tell him.

“You know I meant with Ben.” He tells me.

“He wanted a repeat, but he wasn't really that interesting in bed.” I tell him.

“In other words, you gave him the speech and left him.” Emmett tells me.

“He tried what Justin did, only I wasn’t interested and told him he didn’t even make my top ten. Then I grabbed a set of twins right in front of him and rounded out the week.” I tell him.

“Which you didn’t do to a seventeen year old. If Ben saw Justin pulling the same trick but got your attention, it had to piss him off. Here Ben is a guy most men stop to stare at, and there's Justin, a kid managing to get your attention. In his head he probably thought ‘why Justin’ and not a man who felt he was you equal in looks, intelligence and career goals.” Emmett tells us.

“Only if he saw any of the ‘Justin and Brian’ show.” Blake tells us.

“It's only a theory, since we can't go back and find out, but Ben was around Pittsburgh, so he could've been watching Brian the whole time. Justin and I think it explains his relationship with Michael, since nothing else does.” Emmett tells him.

“He was.” Blake tells us.

“What?” Justin asks.

“Ben. He was around. Remember, I hung out at Babylon, when I did I was always looking for ways to see Ted, and in order to do that it was from the crowded catwalks. I remember bumping into Ben, but we didn’t know each other. Only we were looking for the same group and ended up in some of the same parts of the club trying to watch.” Blake tells us.

“Why didn’t you remember Ben when you met him later?” Emmett asks.

“Because now I see things without my friend crystal. At the time, I didn’t remember anything because I was high all the time. It makes me question why Ben offered to spot me at the gym when I showed up to try and get Michael to give Ted space. I thought he was just trying to break the tension between Michael and me. Maybe he was trying to see if I remembered we were both stalking the group.” Blake adds to the wonder twins theory.

“Since we're here for you and Ted can we get with the program? Ben isn't important.” I tell them.

“We didn’t want to believe Lindsay was either.” Justin reminds me.

I went to the counter and stepped between Justin’s legs. Putting our heads together. “Nothing she did could have separated us. Even having to wait years, we found a way back. Ben can want forever, but he can never give me what you always have and always will.” I tell him, kissing him softly.

The bathroom door opens and Kitty walks in. “Have you had enough girl time? Some of us have people to insult. My baby needs to show Drew that NO ONE ignores a Honeycutt.” She tells us. “Plus, as cute as Justin’s ass is, I'd like to get to know more about him than why Brian’s eyes are always glued to it.” She tells me, pulling Justin to her.

Why do people with the name Honeycutt think Justin belongs to them? I pulled my twink away and dragged him behind me, while Emmett laughed up a storm.