JUSTIN

I walked out of my office to get some coffee and ran into Cynthia, who had a large vase with blue and yellow roses in it. She shoved them into my arms.

“I thought we discussed this, you’re not my type.” I tell her, joking.

“You’re obviously someone's type, those aren't the kind you just pick without a reason.” She tells me.

“These aren't yours?” I ask.

“Nope. Apparently someone likes your surly ass.” She tells me, walking off.

I put them on my desk, confused at why anyone would be stupid enough to spend money on bullshit. I plucked the card, ready to throw it and the flowers in the trash, but curiosity won.

Justin,

These reminded me of you, the blue roses match your eyes and the yellow ones remind me of the sunshine you bring into my life. We can play all the games you want, but you're fighting against the life I know we could have together. Find us, and you'll remember.

Brian A. Kinney

I flipped the card over and there was an invitation to call or show up, since he left his number and address on the back. What was it about him that made me want to be with him? For a second, I heard his voice saying he wanted me around for a long time. I shook it off, leaving the flowers with the card buried in them.

Marty called to let me know Ben wanted to see me. I didn’t ask why he thought I wanted to see him. It was looking at the flowers that kept me from saying no... why, I couldn't tell you. He brought the boyfriend with him, and seriously, I didn’t get why they were together. They both seemed like two people who were more friends than boyfriends, not that I was an expert on relationships. But they even sat apart on the couch that Ben made himself at home on.

“I understand wanting an answer, but it’s not something I can answer right now.” I tell Ben.

“Ted and I wanted to talk to you about Brian.” Ben tells me.

“No, you wanted to do that. I don’t see any reason we need to be involved.” Ted tells him, not looking very in love right now.

“I think Justin needs to see Brian for who he is.” Ben tells him.

“A good guy who treats people with respect, that’s all I see. I don’t understand why you have a problem with Brian.” Ted tells Ben.

“You act like he respects our relationship, when I know he doesn’t.” Ben tells him.

“He doesn’t have to respect our relationship, because it’s ours, not his. How many time do I have to say that for you to get it? Brian has never once said anything that makes what you say true.” Ted tells him.

“Excuse me, but you two do realize this is my office, which is a publishing office, not a place for you two to get counseling, right?” I ask, when they seem to want to keep going.

“I’m truly sorry that my partner seems to think you need to hear this. But I’ll respect you enough to not stay and listen to Ben disrespecting my friend.” Ted tells me, leaving my office.

“Before you speak, understand that nothing you say would mean anything to me. I don’t know you and really have to wonder why you felt the need to come here for any reason other than business.” I tell him.

“Everything changes but this.” He says, talking to himself.

“I have things to do, like decide if authors are going to see their books in print. If you want to possibly be one, I need to finish reading your book.” I tell him.

“Why were you with Brian last night?” He asks.

“Is there some reason I shouldn’t have been? What I do in my private life isn’t anyone’s business but mine.” I tell him.

“You deserve better than him.” He tells me.

I sat down at my desk, reading a book from an author who I knew we were going to publish, ignoring him. Unlike most people, he kept talking when I was making it clear he was crossing into areas that had nothing to do with our business.

“If you would listen…”

“Why are you with Ted?” I ask. If he wants to barge into my life, I’ll barge into his.

“He’s my boyfriend.” He tells me, confused.

“Is he? I didn’t see it that way. You two don’t touch each other, or really even seem like more than two people sharing the same space, while looking for what you really want.” I tell him.

“My relationship with Ted isn’t any of your business.” He tells me.

“By the same token, whatever I’m doing with Brian isn’t yours. Yet you’re still here.” I tell him.

“He always gets everyone to fall at his feet; it doesn’t matter how he treats them.” He tells me.

“Jealousy isn’t an attractive trait. Why be jealous when Ted only sees Brian as his friend?” I ask.

“I’m not jealous of Brian Fucking Kinney! I’m just tired of how he always comes out of every life happy, when the rest of us revolve around him. Even when he made it all about you, it didn’t stop my life from changing. I still ended up in a relationship with someone who couldn’t see past Brian to see me! We could have a life that doesn’t include the people here.” He tells me, starting to worry me.

“I’m not interested in you, and really it’s a bit tacky, since your boyfriend was just here.” I tell him, as Marty comes in glaring at Ben.

“What they have won’t change. There are rules to this Ben. Ask Ethan what happens when you break them. I thought you made peace with this the last time.” Marty tells him, sounding as unhinged as Ben.

“For once, it shouldn’t be his way. Everything about this changed, and I was left reliving the same thing.” He tells Marty.

“You know?” Marty asks.

“I found out after I got my test results.” He tells Marty.

“What the hell is this about?” I ask.

“Things you’ll understand when you remember. You need to remember this Justin, Brian needs you.” He tells me.

“Rules Marty, remember the rules.” Ben tells him, mockingly.

“I do, but then Brian could break any rule and still come out on top. Something you were afraid to do so don’t keep pushing for something that will never happen.” Marty tells him, opening my door and waving for Ben to leave.

“He never had the chance to see the life he could have had. None of you wanted that, did you? No, he was put in the path of Brian, every time.” Ben tells Marty, walking out.

“He needs to see someone, that conversation was out there.” Marty tells me, as if he thought I didn’t hear that he was joining the crazy.

BRIAN

Gus was playing in my loft like he owned it. I already let the agency know my house was being built. It was one of the things that was different, the house was never built. I knew the things Justin never liked about the place, made getting Ted to draw up the plans easier. I waited until last year to start building it, because Justin came to me at this year the last two times, and I figured it would be the same again, even with all the changes. My buzzer rang and it no longer was unwelcome, the way Lindsay and Michael would do it.

Emmett came in, excited that Gus was here. “I want my Lulu and TJ.” He tells me.

“Your parents are going to love you naming Lulu after your crazy aunt.” I tell him.

“Only if Drew gets off his ass.” He tells me.

“I told you there was something wrong with Ben wanting to write the book.” Marty tells us, coming in.

“Marty?” Emmett asks, looking disappointed in our Marilyn.

“Let it go; I’ll dress up if you need it. We have other things to worry about.” Marty tells me.

“What is Benny trying?” I ask.

“Apparently he saw Justin’s life if it didn’t include you.” Marty tells me.

“Is there really a life that has them not meeting?” Emmett ask.

“Yes, there’s always alternative endings. If Justin had turned left, he would have run into Ben first.” Marty tells me.

“What would have happened?” Emmett asks.

“Nothing, because that life was never meant to happen. Ben only sees that he meets Justin instead of Michael. He didn’t look past it.” Marty tells him.

“If he did, what would he have seen?” I ask.

“That Justin wasn’t interested, even without Brian being there.” He tells us.

“Why would Ben care, if it didn’t accomplish anything?” Emmett asks.

“That life stayed unwritten, because it wasn’t one that should play out. So why Ben wants it, you’d have to ask him. I only saw it when he mentioned it in front of Justin.” He tells me. “No, Justin didn’t remember, just thought we both needed a shrink.” He says, before I could ask.

“Um, sorry to interrupt, but I came by to see if you guys wanted to go to lunch.” Ted says, looking at us strangely.

“We’ll have to order in, I have Gus for the afternoon.” I tell him.

“You're really going to adopt when you said you wanted to have your own?” Ted asks, going through my drawer looking for a menu.

“I want Gus.” I tell him.

“I’m thinking about breaking up with Ben.” Ted tells us.

“You two have too much in common. Neither of you even act excited to see the other.” Emmett tells him.

“I thought it would be nice to have someone who didn’t think the only thing in life was drinking the night away. I just wish he didn’t seem to have a problem with my friends.” Ted tells us, meaning me. “He didn’t even get to know you, but seems to judge you for something you never do. I don’t get why he thinks you're the reason we have problems. Michael and Ethan are the ones always causing drama, yet he doesn’t say anything about that bullshit.” He tells me.

“What did Ben think was a problem that he needed to go to Justin for?” I ask him.

“I didn’t stick around to find out, when we started arguing in Justin’s office. If he wants to do what he accuses you of, he does it alone. I’m getting tired of hanging out with the romance of the century, which if Michael would pay attention, is Ethan with himself.” Ted tells us, making us laugh.

My phone rang and it was Justin, using the number I left him in my card. I walked into my bedroom as Emmett sat and played with Gus.

“Nice of you to break your rules.” I tell him.

“I would have broken more rules, but I’ve been a bit busy listening to your fan club. What did you do to piss Ben off?” Justin asks.

“Just me breathing seems to do the trick for Ben.” I tell him.

“He acts like a jealous girlfriend, trying to warn me away from his man. It just makes me want to give him a reason for bothering me in the middle of a busy day. How do you feel about going to a business dinner tonight, my usual go-to guy is out of town.” He tells me.

“Are you seeing someone?” I ask, not liking the way I was sounding like a jealous boyfriend.

“Are you upset that I could be?” He taunts.

I almost answered yes, but remembered who I was dealing with. Me. “Not really, since it doesn’t bother you that he’s gone.” I tell him.

“It wouldn’t bother me if you were gone either. Dress for this, we aren’t going to the club tonight.” He tells me.

“Like I didn’t spend years dressing your ass.” I mumble.

“What?” Justin asks.

“I said, like I haven’t spent years dressing to impress assholes like you.” I tell him.

“I’ll pick you up.” He tells me, before hanging up.

“He asked you out?” Emmett the spy asks.

“Something I never did, score one for Justin.” I tell Emmett.

“Jussin, where Jussin?” Gus asks, looking under the covers where Justin slept at one time.

“He remembers Justin?” Emmett asks, looking shocked.

“Marty said it would fade over time.” I tell him.

“You brought him to meet Justin, when I know you haven’t taken him to meet your mom? She’s going to spank her baby boy.” Ted teases.

“She’s with Dad on vacation. If she calls you, shut the hell up.” I tell him. Mom would be on the first plane back to really spank my ass.

: