Life As We Remember by starlight



I was walking back to Michael’s, once again confused. Didn’t we fix what happened? I lived a full life with Brian and our kids. It didn’t make any sense at first, until I was walking into Michael’s apartment. It was about a life that we can’t remember. 


Michael was sitting on the couch, shaking his head at me when I was about to say something. I didn’t get why until Brian came out of the bathroom and made himself at home, on the sofa I  was going to sleep on.


“Guess you didn’t find at least a ten.” I commented going to the kitchen.


“I guess you found one.” Brian said.


“What?” I ask.


“You still haven’t learned to clean up after yourself.” Brian shrugged, making sure Michael didn’t see that it bothered him.


“Emmett home?” I ask, ignoring Brian.


“He’s busy lowering his standards when he didn’t have to.” Brian tells me.


“I’d like to go to bed, since my day is starting earlier than yours.” Michael puts in.


“I thought we could hear how it went with the hunky professor.” Brian says, looking at me.


“He helped me, but in the end didn’t give me all the things I needed.” I tell him, since it was what he was fishing about.


“No one ever will.” Brian says, getting up to leave when he got what he wanted from me. 


“It’s why I never bother unless I know it’s going to give me what I want.” Brian says, walking out the door.


“He spent the whole night trying to act like it didn’t bother him that you didn’t show up tonight.” Michael tells me.


“Did Lindsay show up?” I ask.


“Only to watch him, smiling every time he walked into the backroom. So who was the special guest that got Brian’s back up?” Michael asks me.


“Our Brian got to stop by. And we need to figure out exactly what our role was, because it sounds like we walked away.” I tell him.


“Did you find out why we would?” He asks.


“They let me die. And whatever happened after that wasn’t what they expected.” I tell him, guessing.


“But you came back and fixed what happened.” He says, remembering.


“I don’t think it had anything to do with what happened the last time. We remember that, but not anything about the people they want us to believe we were. Here’s another thing, every time someone starts telling me the story, they only seem to remember parts of it, but can't remember where they read it, or in Vic’s case, the guy who told it to him.” I tell him. 


“Why would knowing the story be a big deal?” He asks. 


“Because we find out the reason we didn’t want to come back. Gabriel showed up to take Brian back, but told me they let me die and there was no light in between. It sounds like Brian didn’t just go on the way he did in this life.” I tell him.


“How could he when he lost a part of his soul, by losing you?” He points out.


“Which they didn’t know about Brian and me. Maybe we were never supposed to be soul mates. When you think about it, if I’m the keeper of Light, it means my life couldn’t be lived In Between, with him. Unless there was more than just me who rules the house of Light?” I ask.


“I didn’t send him to distract you, just to get your head in the game.” Todd says, making himself comfortable on the sofa.


“Why is it important we remember on our own?” Michael asks. 


“Rules, rules, and more rules, for angels who needed to remember why they were made.” Todd tells us. 


“How can we help Brian if we don't know how to do it?” I ask. 


“Aww, it's so sweet to watch you dealing with the mess you made.” A guy appears, floating in front of Todd.


Michael stared at the guy as if he was a yummy snack. For me, the guy reminded me of rot and decay. Aesthetically he was beautiful, but everything about him seemed like window dressing to cover something horrific.


“At one time, it would have been you wanting me.” He tells me, smiling seductively at Michael. 


“I'm available.” Michael says, trying to get closer to him.


“Lucifer.” Todd warns, and Michael snaps out of it.


“The devil came up to Pittsburgh boys.” Lucifer sings, standing instead of floating.


“For what purpose, brother? You know the rules, help us for a reason.” Todd asks.


“Aww, protecting your baby still? Too bad you didn't check out why he didn't need protecting from Gabriel’s son. Dad should have let Gabriel rule the underworld, since he hates the Pets more than I do. Well, did, until I saw the possibilities.” Lucifer tells him.


“I'm your son?” I ask. 


“Lucifer.” Todd says, standing up and changing into body armor complete with wings, light spreading out around me. 


“Please tell me I'm not his son.” Michael whimpers, when Lucifer changed into black body armor covered in blood, wings of black, tipped in red. Covering Michael in darkness.


“Brother?” Lucifer asks, as if they were just greeting each other.


“Holy God!” Emmett squeaks, slamming the door in some guy’s face.


“No, Holy Satan, at your service. Stand down Uriel. Believe it or not I'm on your side; the last thing I need is to be overthrown by the In Between.” Lucifer says, changing back into his disguise. “Unlike for you, Dad doesn't make rules for me. Only showed me why he created them.” He points at me and Michael. “I'm not afraid to tell them, since in the end it was your mistake, not mine. In fact maybe they should know. They are the one thing the angels feared more than Father.” Lucifer smirks at Uriel. “See, in creating you three, guess what the angels became?” He asks me.


“Nothing.” I answer. 


“Exactly, little ball of Sunshine, nothing. They went from being God’s everything, to nothing. No purpose except to serve the wants and needs of the children God created in their image. From being everything they once were, to being the servants of their children in a way. So I guess you could call Uriel ‘Daddy’, but only in the sense that you were created in his image. He performed God’s will, helping people in their decisions, solving problems, resolving conflicts, everything he needed you to do, and no longer needed Uriel for. Gabriel was in charge of life’s purpose and destiny, willing to allow darkness in his life because what is war but darkness, and exactly the kind of image the In Between needed. Now little Mikey here, he got some of me, and a little of Azrael, he had to be able to lead them to heaven or hell, but also be able to serve in Heaven.” He tells us.


“What made us not willing to come back?” I ask, tired of waiting for the answer.


“You died. Gabriel told you that.” He tells me.


“In the life we don’t remember?” I ask.


“Exactly.” He says, like it answers anything.


“Why would you help us? Lindsay’s here for a reason; your reason. So far the only thing she seems to be doing is trying to make sure Brian is in position to overthrow you.” I tell him


“It’s part of the test.” Todd tells me.


“He has to show he can navigate both sides.” I said, after thinking about it.


“Yes. And the reason you and Michael are here is to show him both sides.” Todd tells us.


“Only we stopped, when I died.” I add.


“Father hid something from all of us. The house of Light had two heirs, not one.” Lucifer tells me.


“Kira?” I ask.


“Think harder Sunshine. Todd told you who gave you Kira.” Lucifer tells us.


“But only that she was a gift to Brian and me.” I tell him.


“He wasn’t giving it to you for leaving, so what other reason would he have?” Lucifer asks.


“Don’t turn Raphael's gift to them into something it wasn’t.” Todd tells him.


“Then what was it?” I ask, not caring what it was that gave her to us, and then something else jumped in to my thoughts. “Molly.” 


“The one who could take your place, but wouldn’t, after my brothers played God with your life.” Lucifer said looking proud of me.


“We didn’t know there were two.” Uriel tells me.


“You don’t seem to know much of anything.” I tell him.


“Rules, rules, rules. They all follow them, only to be blindsided when Father changes them.” He tells us.


“Can we break them? Because trickling information only makes me willing to not help either of you.” I tell them.


“I’ll break one, then you decide. Instead of letting you survive a certain garage scene, my brothers let you die, and Hobbs got to hell faster than he did later.” Lucifer tells us, disappearing.


“Get out.” I tell Todd.


“We didn’t know he would expel the light, it’s not a possibility we foresaw.” Todd tells me.


“I honestly don’t give a fuck. My life is in constant rewind because you helped him fail. Is that why it changed from a bashing to us being able to get around it? What about all the lives I remembered, are they real or just the way to keep us from questioning this one?” I ask, feeling like I’m about to explode.


“Justin, stop what you're doing.” Michael tells me.


I looked around and saw lights around us brighter than they should have been, only when Michael touched my arm, they returned to normal. 


“So Michael keeps him from going Supernova?” Emmett asks.


“And Justin keeps him from a reason Lucifer would want him.” Todd tells us.


“Why hasn’t Brian passed whatever bullshit made us keep coming back here?” I ask him.


“Brian was given all the answers when you came back again. In this life, he was faced with the obstacles, knowing the end result. So instead of being tested, he found a way around them all.” He tells us.


“Vic told me we were being allowed to do it right.” I tell him.


“While Father showed us why being jealous of you was wrong and gave you the life you told him you wanted away from your destiny.” He tells me.


“What, being God’s messengers wasn’t all you wanted?” I ask, sarcastically.


“We were always God’s messengers, creating you didn’t change that. He didn’t create you to replace us, but because we couldn’t see things in the way the three of you can. In our eyes, the minute humans turned their backs on God, it was final. We didn’t give second or third chances. Heaven was emptying, from us not understanding what our Father wanted. When he created the houses, it was to give man a chance to redeem himself. Only, all we saw was it was no longer God’s will, but yours. Brian got sent here to be tested, but why allow you two here to guide him? When it came time for you to go into that garage we stopped Brian from calling out to you.” He tells us.


“Meaning he didn’t turn when Hobbs swung.” Michael glares.


“And Brian didn’t just break his leg.” Todd said.


“And I no longer saw a reason for wanting to serve in God’s house, because he lost his way there too.” I tell him.


“But you were still willing to believe in him, and for that he gave you a way to have what we took. Only, now he has to do what he was supposed to do. Help us bring souls back to us.” He tells us.


“Since there were so few there, and only the ones we kept bringing back with us.” I tell him, understanding everything.


“You kept them on the right path, both of you. It’s why he didn’t forsake you, like we would have.” He tells me, leaving through the door.


“Baby, I think you should have asked how you managed to get the sun to shine at midnight.” Emmett tells me, as it starts to get dark again.





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