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Author's Chapter Notes:

This one is a little emotional. 

CHAPTER 14 - Kid's Life.

 

Talking to kids is NOT easy. At least not for me. You see, I have a well documented sarcastic streak - I was probably snarking at my parents from the crib - and that approach just doesn't work with kids. Not at all.

You see, kids don't understand cynicism or irony. They don't get adult's jokes. Kids take you face on, however they see you, and they take the plain meaning of your words to heart. Children are VERY literal.

That's why it's so hard for me, because I'm almost always joking about something. I can't help myself. I don't even realize I'm doing it half the time. Like the ONE time I was watching my nephew Peter and he asked if he could go to the toilet and I sarcastically said, ‘No. You can't. You have to hold it for the rest of the day', not even thinking about what I said. Peter, of course, broke into tears. That was the last time my sister allowed me to watch him, of course. But you get my point, right? Kids and sarcasm just don't mix well.

It's difficult, though, for someone like me to overcome a lifetime of actively trying to keep people out of my feelings by modulating my words. Because that's what joking and snark are for - they keep you safe and hide your real feelings. You can't be like that with kids, though. You can't keep them out. They need to know how you feel about them. They need that reassurance. They need to feel you care about them. You can't hide behind your words, protect yourself, and at the same time give a kid what he or she needs.

So, no matter what a snarky bitch you really are - or at least, have been in the past - once you have a kid, you have to be open to saying the words you might have always held back. You have to be willing to actually say, ‘I love you, too' . . .

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Debbie, Carl, and Vic were surprised when Brian and Justin returned to the house barely a half hour after they'd left. Brian didn't bother to answer any of their questions, he simply gathered the kids, hustled them out to the Jeep and was gone without anything more than a terse goodbye. Even once they were back at Justin's condo, Brian still wasn't very communicative. He chivvied the kids into bed - again putting Gus in with Molly because that's what the two of them wanted - and then returned to find an amused Justin waiting for him in the living room.

"Now for you, my BB," Brian purred, stalking towards the blond with feral hunger evident in every line of his body. "You didn't think you could shake your ass around like that in front of me and half of Pittsburgh and get away with it, did you?"

Justin grinned mischievously as he backed away from the panther that looked about to pounce on him. "Oh, you noticed, did you?" he teased.

"Yeah, I fucking noticed. And I'm going to make you pay, BB."

Brian literally growled as he grappled the impish little blond to him, hoisted the giggling, struggling man over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, and toted him off to the bedroom. Justin, who was rather turned on by the possessive caveman act, continued to fight a little just to egg Brian on. The lust-filled caveman threw his conquest down on the bed, pinned him down long enough to pull off Justin's clothing and then kicked the bedroom door closed behind him.

And that was the last anyone heard from either the Stud or his BB - except for the occasional grunt or moan reverberating through the bedroom door - until morning.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The rest of the week flew by for Brian and his new midget friend. During the day Brian was back to being pretty much his usual self. He would drop off Gus at the GLC and then head to Kinnetik just like he always had. He spent his days being brilliant and pleasing his clients. Brian had even stopped worrying about Gus, who was flourishing in his new preschool class with all his little friends and his crefs, games, toys, and other distractions. Everything seemed to be settling down into a routine.

So, now that things seemed back to normal, relatively speaking, you'd think that the Ad Exec would slip back into his old habits, right? Before Gus came along, his lunches used to include a daily visit to the baths or the steam room at the gym. And, even when he couldn't make it out due to his work load, there was always ‘take out' courtesy of Grindr or one of his other favorite online ‘dating' sites. Let's face it, Brian had never had difficulty finding company whenever he had a spare minute to waste or an itch to scratch. But, despite the fact that his days were now more or less his own again, he didn't seem to be falling back into his old habits.

Instead, Brian found himself thinking about a certain blond far more often than he should during working hours. He just couldn't seem to keep his mind focused on another boring ad campaign when everything around him seemed to remind him of Justin. He found himself wondering if Justin would like to try out the new deli that Cynthia ordered his lunch from on Monday. He caught himself contrasting the shade of blue the art department used in an ad for a new line of athletic shoes to one he'd seen Justin use in one of his paintings. When he did go to the gym to workout during his lunch hour, he kept comparing every guy he saw to the handsome young artist, and none of them seemed to even come close. He found himself getting half hard at least a dozen times a day just remembering some of the more enthusiastic moments they'd spent together in bed. And that's not even counting the embarrassing fact that his ass was still tender enough that he had to sit very carefully on his deluxe executive office chair.

All of which made Brian worry that he was totally losing it. He'd never been so preoccupied with any guy before. He felt like he was turning into some pathetic loser who constantly daydreamed about his latest squeeze. It was so NOT him. Brian Kinney didn't do sentimental or dreamy. He didn't do relationships or boyfriends or . . . whatever this was. He tried, repeatedly to clear his head. Twenty times a day, he'd mentally rebuke himself for acting like some kind of silly schoolboy with a crush. He'd tell himself to get over this shit, that it couldn't last, and that it wasn't him. And yet, ten minutes later he'd find himself smiling as he texted some inconsequential comment about nothing to his BB, just so he could feel that thrill he got when he heard the ping from his phone telling him Justin had responded.

Even more telling, Brian had found himself in the BB's bed every single night as well. He'd pick up Gus from the GLC, drive back to the loft, walk in with every intention of staying put for the evening, and then, a half hour later, find himself on the phone with Justin and agreeing to pick up something for dinner for all of them on his way over. The one time that Brian doubled down and said he was going to stay in his own home for the night, Gus started whining so much at the news that Brian capitulated after less than an hour. Justin simply smiled indulgently at the two of them when Brian knocked on his door ten minutes later and then took Sunshine's leash out of Brian's hand with a kiss to the big guy's cheek.

So, it wasn't really a surprise that Ted tracked his boss down at Justin's place when he called late on Thursday night.

Brian and Justin had just started to fall asleep when Brian's phone went off. Thinking that something was wrong, Brian grabbed the phone. He groaned when he saw from the caller ID it was Ted. This could not be good.

"What?" he answered, grouchy before he even heard what the situation was.

"Brian, we've got a big problem," Ted answered.

"Can't this wait till morning, Theodore?"

"Sorry, Boss, but no. Mr. Simpson from Interile just called my cell. Yours must have been turned off, because it went straight to voicemail. Simpson is not happy about the final ad specs. He's demanding to see you, personally, right away. I've booked you on a flight for Chicago leaving in two hours. He wants you there first thing in the morning or he said he will pull the account."

"FUCK! Fine, Theodore. This better work," Brian answered, hanging up and crawling out from under the covers to pull on his clothes.

"Brian, what's wrong?" Justin asked, worried by Brian's sour expression.

"Big problem with a huge account," he started to explain, before realizing there was something he'd forgotten. "Oh, fuck! What the hell am I going to do about Gus?" Brian asked, sitting on the end of the bed in defeat.

"Don't worry about it, Brian. Gus can stay here with me and Molly. He'll be fine."

"You're sure?" Brian questioned the blond, who nodded his reassurance. "That's a lot to ask. Although, I'm sure he'd be more comfortable here than staying with Debbie or Em." Brian got back to his feet and continued to gather his clothing, going through his mental list of what he'd have to do to make it to the airport for a flight in only two hours. "Thank you, BB. You're a fucking life saver."

Brian pulled on his shirt and then turned to kiss the young man standing there, naked, beside him.

"I've got to run - I have to stop by the loft, pack and pick up the files I need from Kinnetik on the way to the airport. Damn it, I'm cutting it close already. Will you tell the Midget I said goodbye? I don't want to wake him up. Although I'm worried that he'll be upset with me for leaving like this . . . Any time I've left him anywhere before, I always made sure he was okay about it. He seems fine most of the time, but after what his mother did, I hate to push it."

Brian was already walking towards the door, grabbing his keys off Justin's kitchen counter on the way, with Justin trotting along at his heel.

"There's no help for it though. I HAVE to go. Kinnetik can't lose this client. Can you just, please, explain to Gus that I had to go and didn't want to wake him up? I'll try and call him later." Brian paused long enough to bend down and leave one last, deep kiss on the pretty, coral-pink lips of his BB before straightening. "Okay. I'm gone. This should only take a couple of days at the most. I'll be back by the weekend. I hope."

"It's no problem, Stud. I'll take good care of Gus. I promise. Do me a favor, just write out a statement that I have your permission to sign for you if anything should happen." At Brian's look, Justin explained. "Kids can get hurt, even if you're right there, it's just a precaution."

"Good idea," Brian agreed, jogging back over to the desk and pulling a piece of paper out of Justin's printer, then writing down what Justin told him to. It made him feel good that Justin was so conscientious. He felt even better about leaving Gus with him.

Brian tore out of there as soon as the release was done. He barely made his flight. The minute the plane touched down in Chicago, he texted Justin that he had arrived and would be in meetings all day but that he'd leave his phone on and to call if he needed him.

Justin texted back with a silly kissy face emoji, causing Brian to snort so loudly that it scared the taxi driver who was just then pulling up to the hotel's front doors. Damn that BB! He always knew just how to make Brian laugh, even when he was totally stressed out and worried about his Midget. Before he got out of the taxi, Brian texted back his own emoji, too tired and stressed out to care that he'd selected a lesbianic, tongue-lolling, lovestruck icon with hearts for eyes as his own reply.

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When Gus came into the kitchen the next morning with Sunshine padding along behind him, the first thing the boy did was look around for Brian. Justin saw the child's lost look and rushed to explain that Brian had to take a quick trip to go fix something for work and he hadn't wanted to wake Gus up. He made sure the boy knew he was going to stay with him and Molly until Brian got back from Chicago. Gus said nothing in reply just sitting there at the table with a small frown marring his sweet little face and his hand rubbing idly at the dog's ears.

Justin poured Gus some pink juice and made him a bowl of cereal. The boy ate quietly and then got up, going and sitting down in the corner and wrapping his arms around his knees. Sunshine sat in front of him, whining sadly at his little master and looking back and forth between the child and Justin. Molly, who'd just come into the kitchen herself and heard the news, asked if Gus wanted to play anything. He just looked at her sadly and shook his head. Justin asked Gus if he was feeling okay and the boy looked up at him sadly, trying to hold back tears.

Seeing the look on his face Justin asked, "Gus what is it? Why are you so upset?"

"I don't think B'ine wants me no more, Jussin. He goed away, jes like Mommy. I telled him I was sowwy when I did bad stuffs but mebbe I's too much trouble. Mommy's friend always telded me I's too much trouble. He's not comin' back, is he?" Gus finished, sobbing now.

"Oh, Gus, honey. Don't cry," Justin said, kneeling down so he could get closer to the boy and having to push a concerned Sunshine out of the way to get there. "Brian didn't leave you, Gus. He just had to go do some work stuff. He's coming back. He's not trying to get rid of you. I promise, sweetie," Justin told him, trying to reassure the child.

"No. He's not gunna come back. I knows it. He always telled me if he was goin' somewheres and asked me if I was okay ‘bout it. I's just too bad to keep. I wish I could be gooder. I don't think nobody kin loves me," Gus sobbed harder still.

Molly, who had been watching all this from her place at the table, jumped up at this point, ran to her room, and was back in a flash with Gus' Leather Bear in hand. She knelt next to her brother and Gus, pressing the teddy bear into the crying child's arms. Gus only wailed louder as a result of the kind act, burying his face in the bear's plush fur and wiping up the tears trickling down his chin with the toy. Molly put her arms around Gus' shoulders and tried to hug him. Sunshine wanted in on the action too, using her muzzle to nose into the hug. But the added attention just seemed to set the boy off more. Plus, Molly was now crying too, in sympathy to her friend.

Justin's heart ached for the little boy. This seemed like a lot more than your garden variety separation anxiety. Gus had some major issues caused by his mother's neglectful actions. Justin was also starting to suspect there might have been some outright abuse at the hands of this ‘friend' Gus had mentioned a time or two. Either way, it seemed like more than he could handle alone. Justin hated to bother Brian, but was sure he'd want to know about this. So, Justin asked Molly to keep an eye on Gus for a few minutes and then quietly tiptoed off to his bedroom to make a call.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian had been in the meeting with Mr. Simpson for close to two hours already, doing his best to soothe the fussy client's ruffled feathers, when his phone began vibrating in his pocket. His staff knew not to bother him, so that meant the call had to be personal. He was tempted to just ignore it, but then thought better of that decision. He glanced at the screen quickly, seeing Justin's number and immediately getting worried. He knew his BB wouldn't be calling if it wasn't important.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson. I have to take this call," Brian explained, trying not to get worried by the annoyed look the client shot him as he got to his feet and headed out of the conference room.

Hitting the button to accept the call, Brian skipped over any greetings and asked bluntly, "What happened? Is Gus alright?"

He listened while Justin quickly explained what had happened with Gus. Justin was very apologetic about calling, but Brian immediately shut that down, telling him not to be stupid - he was glad Justin had called. The concerned babysitter told Brian that he didn't want him to worry, that he would handle it until Brian could get back, but he had wanted him to know what was going on and how bad it was. He also mentioned his growing suspicions about that ‘friend' of Lindsey's that had apparently said so many hurtful things to poor Gus. In Justin's opinion, this was way too big a reaction to be the result of a onetime event like sending Gus to Brian's apartment alone. But either way, the kid was far too upset to go to preschool for the day, so Justin proposed keeping Gus home with him.

"That's a good idea, Justin," Brian agreed right away. "I was worried about something like this. I know the kid acts tough, and he's pretty good about going to school or staying with Em or Deb, but sometimes I'd see this look in his eyes when I came back to pick him up. Sort of relieved, you know. Like he wasn't sure if I'd remember him or not. Unfortunately, I remember that feeling from my own childhood and it's not pretty . . . Fuck it. You know what, I can't do this . . . Simpson's money isn't worth it. I'll be home as soon as I can get a flight," Brian said decisively, surprising and pleasing Justin. "Could you please put Gus on the phone, I need to talk to him."

"Sure, Stud. Let me take him the phone," Justin answered, going into the kitchen.

"Gus, Brian's on the phone and wants to talk to you," Justin advised, handing Gus the phone.

"I's sowwy I's so bad, B'ine," Gus wailed into the phone, still crying so hard it was difficult to understand the words.

"It's okay, Midget. Don't cry, buddy. You're not bad. You're a wonderful kid. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving. I didn't want to wake you up and I thought you'd be okay staying with Justin and Molly," Brian told the boy, his heart breaking for upsetting him so badly.

"I thinked you leaved because I was too bad ta keep. I love Jussin and Molly, but I needs you cause you's my B'ine," Gus mumbled through his sniffles.

"Well, you're my Midget, so of course I wouldn't leave you. But don't worry - I'm coming home as soon as I can get a plane. Okay? Can you be brave and stay with Justin and Molly until I get there?"

"Okay, B'ine. I'll be brave," the boy stated as valiantly as he could. Then, dropping his voice to a whisper, as if he was afraid of being overheard, he added, "I loves you B'ine."

"Me too, Midget, me too," Brian whispered back, choking up at hearing the kid's heartfelt declaration.

Handing Justin back the phone Gus told him, "I think B'ine gots da sniffles Jussin."

"Hey, are you okay?" Justin questioned.

"Yeah, BB. That fucking kid just . . . Oh, fuck it! I just need to get back home, you know? Can you make sure Gus is okay for a little while longer? I'll call and let you know when I get a flight."

Brian quickly ended the call as soon as Justin reassured him that Gus would be fine. Then, he turned back to the conference room where his client's staff was still waiting for him while they debated the ad spreads laid out on the big table. Normally Brian refused to explain himself to anyone, and he never apologized, but this account was worth several million dollars to Kinnetik so he figured he should try something new.

Returning to the conference room, Brian pulled Simpson aside and quickly explained about Gus; who he was, and what was going on. He was completely candid, even explaining about the child's questionable parentage and hinting that Brian's own past played a part in his decision to try and help the boy even if they didn't turn out to be biologically related. When Brian was finished with his explanation, he began packing his briefcase.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson, but our meeting is going to have to wait. Gus is upset, he needs me, and I can't just leave him like that. He has to come before business. I'll call you tomorrow to reschedule."

Before the man had a chance to answer, Brian was out the door and flagging down a cab. He called the airline while already on the way to the airport, asking to be put on the first flight to Pittsburgh, even if it was in coach, which was something he would normally never do. Then, he called the hotel and asked them to ship his belongings to his home and put any added expense on his bill. As he was waiting to board the plane he got a text from his client.

Simpson: We can work by Skype. Family should always come first. You've shown me a side of you today that I admire very much. Don't worry, you won't lose my account. In fact, I also have a smaller company that I usually only advertise locally. I'd like you to check it out and see if you could possibly come up with some advertising for them too. Call me at YOUR earliest convenience and we'll talk. Take care of your family. They should ALWAYS be your first priority. G.

Brian texted Justin that he was on his way home as he boarded his flight, smiling and mentally thanking the Midget.

Brian was welcomed with open arms - and a few more sniffles - when he finally made it back to Justin's condo around mid-afternoon. Gus had bravely made it through lunchtime, waiting for his B'ine, and helping Justin tidy up his studio, which helped to distract the still jittery child. When they heard the knock on the door, though, Gus had dashed out of the studio and pelted into Brian, grabbing hold of the man's knees and squeezing so hard it almost toppled him. Brian managed to peel the arms off his legs, picked Gus up, and gave his Midget a long, tight hug.

And all seemed right with the world for both of them after that.

Justin stayed back and watched the interaction, smiling at how much Brian and Gus cared about and needed each other. When Gus finally let go of Brian the boy turned to Justin.

"Jussin'! B'ine commed back! Just like you said. In't that great? Aren't you gunna give him a hug?"

Justin walked up to Brian and showed him how much he also had missed him.

After their greeting, which both men would have loved to make longer and more private Justin suggested, "how about you read Gus a story and let him and Sunshine take a nap while I run to the store and get something special to make for dinner. Maybe we can ‘rest' when I get back."

"Sounds like a fabulous idea BB. Just hurry back."

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Molly was glad to see that everything had quieted down by the time she got home from school that afternoon. Gus was taking a nap and Justin had gone grocery shopping, something Brian tried to avoid like the plague. He would rather just order groceries to be delivered. However Justin liked to pick out his own meat and produce, not have someone else do it. He usually went every couple of days, he enjoyed cooking with everything fresh. Brian was in the living room. But, while all seemed calm again, the preteen was still stewing about one thing.

Molly had always been very outspoken. Even as young as she was, she wasn't easily put off and was usually confident about speaking her mind. But she wasn't sure if she should butt into her brother's life. Today's events had her thinking about the situation again, though, and sent her pacing around her room while she tried to decide whether or not to talk to Brian.

Brian, who was on his laptop working on a new campaign, could hear Molly mumbling and pacing in the other room, and wondered what was up. He'd always appreciated the fact that, if Molly had an opinion about something, she would just tell whatever was on her mind. But now she seemed to be struggling with something. Going and standing in the doorway, he watched Molly walk back and forth, so caught up in her thoughts she wasn't even aware of her surroundings. The third time she passed him without even acknowledging that he was standing there, he reached out and tapped her shoulder.

"Something on your mind, Squirt?" he asked, startling her.

"Well, yeah, sort of, but it's really not my business," she answered, looking into the large hazel eyes of the man who was becoming like another brother to her.

"Okay . . . well, then who's business is it?"

"Yours and Justin's really."

"You have me intrigued. Why don't we get some drinks and sit down and talk," Brian offered, wondering what it could be that had her so concerned.

Getting a bottle of water for himself and a soda for Molly, Brian led the girl to the sofa, sitting in the corner and angling himself toward her.

"Okay, what is it that has you looking so apprehensive?"

"Alright. Well, you know I love Justin - he's my brother, and he's always been pretty great to me. So, I'm just worried because he seems to care about you a lot and, um, I'm just hoping . . ." Molly was unsure how to finish.

"You're just hoping that I am not leading him on, right? That I'll just up and leave and that he'll be hurt. Is that what has you concerned?" Brian ventured.

"Kind of, and, well . . . maybe that . . . maybe he wouldn't be the only one who was hurt."

Brian opened his arms. "Come here, Squirt," Brian said as Molly compliantly climbed onto his lap. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm right where I want to be right at the moment." When the girl didn't look convinced, he reluctantly added, "Listen, Squirt. I don't like to make promises or predictions that I can't be sure of, but you can believe me when I say I'm with the people I want to be with right now." Molly smiled up at him, but there was still a worried look in her big blue eyes, so he added, "And, I hope, I'll be with them for a long time to come, too." He ended by kissing her cheek and making the youngster blush to the roots of her strawberry blond mop of hair.

Just then, Justin walked in, setting down the shopping bags and putting his hands on his hips.

"Hey, Mollusk. So, I go shopping and you try to steal my . . ." Justin stopped, blushing almost as much as Molly. He and Brian had never really defined what they were to each other, and he wasn't sure exactly what he should call the man he'd been sharing his bed and his family with for the past couple of weeks.

Setting Molly on the sofa next to him and getting up, Brian finished his sentence, "I think ‘boyfriend' is the word you're looking for, BB. Although I've always hated that word. I'm hardly a ‘boy' at this point. Maybe, ‘partner'? Or is it too soon for that?"

Smiling so widely that it was a miracle his face didn't split in two, Justin jumped into Brian's arms, kissing the older man thoroughly until they were both breathless.

"Why don't you two go upstairs and ‘rest'," Molly suggested, using air quotes to let the adults know she was onto them. "I'll put away the groceries and get Gus a snack when he gets up from his nap."

"Good idea, Squirt," Brian agreed wholeheartedly with the youngling's suggestion, already chivvying Justin towards the stairs. "Call us when Gus gets up, though. I want to make sure he's feeling better," Brian commented while pinching Justin's derriere to get him moving faster.

Molly just shook her head and smiled. "Okay, Brian. Have fun, you two!" She giggled as the two men skipped away, holding hands, laughing together and staring at one another like there was no one else around.

Molly was more reassured about Brian and Justin's relationship by the happy noises they were making as they disappeared behind the door of Justin's bedroom, than she had been by Brian's words. And if those smiles they were always beaming at each other meant anything, she had nothing to worry about. It felt to her like Brian and Gus were going to be permanent fixtures. Which was more than fine with Molly.

 

Chapter End Notes:

7/22/17

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