Chapter 19 - Chocolate Life

The 70s were famous for bad made-for-tv movies.

Unfortunately, I spent a lot of my childhood watching those really crappy movies, since television was one of the few sources of entertainment the Kinney family could afford. It didn't help much that I've always been a bit of an insomniac - even back in those days - and I indulged in many hours of late night television viewing time. It's not surprising, then, that I watched a lot of those movies , late at night, while I was trying to find my way to sleep.

Only one of those movies really stands out in my memory, though.

This particular movie was so bad, I don't even remember the name of the thing. It was a truly terrible example of poor cinematography; the production value was pretty bottom of the barrel, the dialogue sucked, and the actors wouldn't have gotten a good review from their grandmothers even if they bought said grandmothers flowers as a bribe. The thing that made it stand out for me, though, was the premise. It was about this adolescent - a girl of about sixteen or so - who had been so monstrously abused by her father for so long that she was almost feral. I don't remember much about why or how it was that she was found, but the main plot line was about how she was befriended by a psychologist who tried to treat her. Over the course of the story, it came out somehow that the girl had apparently killed her abusive father, which I thought was fitting justice, although the police and other authorities in the movie didn't seem to agree, and the psychologist was trying to keep her out of jail or a mental institution. It was all very 70s-angsty and seemed to get a lot of reruns, meaning that I watched the damn thing several times.

The other reason the story stuck with me, was that I found myself identifying with that poor abused girl. Granted, I hadn't been abused in the same way as she was - I wasn't kept locked in a barn, raped by my father, or fed dog food, but I did suffer at Jack's fists more often than was healthy for me. So, when they showed the scenes where the therapist was trying to ‘cure' the girl, I really paid attention. I always felt like there was some message in that part for me. That I might turn into something similar to that poor wretch of a girl someday, if I wasn't careful, and that I might need that kind of therapy myself. It was fascinating in a morbid way that caused knots to tie themselves in my stomach.

But what scared me more than anything, was the one scene where the therapist and her colleague were discussing the girl and concluded that she'd probably never be able to function in normal society no matter what they did. Now, I'm sure the writers of the screenplay probably didn't have any legitimate psychological training, but it all sounded very erudite and convincing to the ten year old child I was at the time, so I believed everything those TV doctors were saying. And when they said that someone who'd been that abused was doomed to grow up with permanent emotional scars, that they'd never be able to maintain a real relationship and would be likely to abuse their own children, I didn't question those conclusions. Even worse, I just naturally assumed those proclamations would also apply to me.

Maybe that's why I never argued with the people who pronounced me an ‘asshole' or made jokes about the way I went through tricks. I never contradicted Mikey when he told everyone who would listen that Brian Kinney didn't DO relationships. And I certainly didn't think I would ever be what might be considered ‘parent' material.

In my own mind, in many ways, I was always that poor, abused, feral child that had no future . . .

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The next day, the plan was to do all the water rides at Hersheypark. The kids were ecstatic and jumping all over the place, almost too excited to eat their breakfast in the hotel's restaurant. Brian had to act all stern and disapproving while he ordered Gus to stop kicking his feet into the table leg. He couldn't understand why that was so difficult - he was routinely harsh with his friends when they annoyed him and he had no problem at all disciplining his staff at Kinnetik, but telling a five year old to sit still seemed infinitely harder. Watching the Midget's little face crumple after he was scolded was killing him. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this parenting shit after all? The only thing that kept him from giving in to the sad little moppet was Justin's reassuring hand on his thigh under the cover of the tablecloth.

"Gus. Molly. You two need to calm down right now," Justin ordered when the shenanigans had gone on too long, his voice somber but confident. "I know you're excited about today, but if you don't tone your voices down to an indoor level and stop squirming around, we won't be going anywhere."

"But, Justin! You can't do that! That's not fair," Molly argued, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

"What's not fair is all the extra work you two are making for the poor waiter who's going to have to clean up the mess you've made by spilling food and drinks because you couldn't sit still. Now, either you sit and eat like humans - not wild monkeys - or there will be no water park today. And that's final." Justin stared down his little sister, not daring to even blink, until she sighed and finally looked away.

Brian was quietly hoping that was it and all would be well from there on out. Molly went back to her food, not saying anything. Justin watched her for a minute or two, but when she seemed to be behaving, he turned back to his own breakfast. Daphne had merely nodded at Justin, obviously in agreement with this hardline stance, and then given Brian a wink before she picked up her coffee and carried on herself.

Which left only Brian and Gus. Gus was sitting, huddled in his chair, seemingly trying to make himself even smaller than his little body already was. Despite his downturned face, Brian could see the kid's lower lip trembling and he even heard a sniffle or two. He just couldn't stand it. Brian set his napkin on the table and started to push back his chair. Justin's hand on his arm halted him.

Leaning into the bigger man's side, Justin whispered, "don't give in. Kids need boundaries, Brian."

Brian nodded but still got up and walked around the table, kneeling next to the child's chair so he was on the kid's level.

"Midget?"

"I's sowwy, B'ine. I din' mean to be so bad. Don' be mad at me. Pwease," the tiny voice whimpered as a bona fide tear leaked out the corner of one eye.

"I'm not mad, Gus," Brian assured, looking up at Justin and getting a supportive nod that allowed him to continue. "But Justin is right. You can't be so noisy and rambunctious. This is a nice restaurant. You can't act that way in here. There are other people trying to eat and you're disturbing them. Not to mention that you guys really have made a big mess that the people who work here will have to clean up. That's just not acceptable."

The sniffles quickly gave way to an outright sob at that point. "I's sowwy. Don' send me away, B'ine. Pwease. I'll be gooder. Don' send me away like Mommy did."

"Oh, Gus." Brian reached out and pulled the now-bawling kid off his seat into a big hug. "I'm not going to send you away, Midget. I promise. I wouldn't send you away just because you were acting a little naughty. I would never do that, Gus," Brian murmured reassuringly as he ruffled the boy's soft, baby-fine hair and left a small kiss on the tear-streaked cheek. "Come on, now. Don't cry, Midget. It's okay. There's nothing to cry about." Gus struggled to quell his crying and proceeded to swipe one arm across his face, wiping away most of the tears and snot with his sleeve. "That's better, now. See, it's all going to be okay. Right?" Gus nodded his head against Brian's chest. "Good boy. Now, no more tears, okay? We're going to have a good time today." Brian stood up and deposited Gus back in his seat. "No more yelling or kicking, though. Right?"

Both Gus and Molly nodded and went back to their food. Justin smiled at him approvingly. Brian returned to his own seat and took up his coffee cup. He felt worn out by the brief emotional confrontation, but also somehow buoyed. It was like he'd passed some kind of parenting test. In the back of his mind he'd still been a little worried that he'd somehow turn into his father - screaming and getting violent whenever the kids around him acted out. But he hadn't. He hadn't given in to the naughtiness, but he hadn't gotten angry or yelled or anything else either. It was definitely a win for him.

Maybe he could do this Gus thing after all?

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After breakfast, they all headed back upstairs to get ready for the big day. Daphne took charge of getting the kids into swimsuits and packing a bag full of stuff they might need for the day. Brian and Justin were in their own room getting dressed as well.  

After getting his own suit on, Brian looked over at the short, slightly tight, bright blue trunks Justin had put on, noting unhappily that they left nothing to the imagination. At first he just stood there staring at the blond. But when Justin headed for the door, Brian stopped him.

"Where do you think you're going in those?" Brian asked the blond as he pointed to Justin's attire.

"The water rides," Justin answered, confused.

"Wait here," Brian commanded.

Going to his suitcase Brian pulled out another pair of designer trunks. "Put these on, please," he directed, holding them out to the younger man.

"What's wrong with the one's I'm already wearing?" Justin asked.

"They'retooshortandtootight," Brian answered quickly, slightly embarrassed by what he found himself saying.

"Was that more than one word?" Justin questioned, looking down at himself and starting to realize why Brian looked like he did.

The trunks he was wearing really were a tad bit too revealing. Justin was secretly pleased that Brian didn't want other men oogling him, especially considering his Stud's past. He found the possessive streak kind of endearing in a way, even if it was a little annoying that he was acting so controlling.

"Yes. I said, they are too short and too tight. Please, BB," Brian pleaded, again holding out the other trunks and trying to avoid looking Justin in the eyes at the same time.

Justin walked over to Brian, took the trunks from him and kissed the raspberry red lips before he slipped his trunks off and put on the larger, longer ones, tying the string tightly to keep them on.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you," Brian answered, wrapping his arms around the younger man and kissing him back.

"You do know that you're incredibly adorable, don't you?" Justin whispered conspiratorially in the ear closest to where his lips ended up when the kissing was done.

"Just don't tell anyone," Brian whispered back. "I have a reputation to uphold, you know."

"Your secret's safe with me, Stud."

Unfortunately - or maybe fortunately for Brian's reputation as a macho stud who didn't do that kind of thing - the sweet nothings were cut short by a knock on the connecting door between their room and the kids'. Justin stole one last kiss, offered a consolatory pat to Brian's rear, and then pulled himself away so he could answer the door. Brian plopped down on the couch with a goofy grin on his face.

A second later the kids were filing in and crawling onto the couch with him, Gus proprietarily taking a seat on Brian's lap - to the big guy's surprise, since they hadn't really done that before. Not that he minded. He casually wrapped an arm around the boy's small body and noted in the very private, inner recesses of his mind, that it felt right.

While everyone was sitting around, and Justin and Daphne were making doubly certain they had everything they'd need for the day, Brian and the kids talked about the rides they wanted to do and the attack plan for getting to all of them in the proper order. Molly and Gus already had the entire day's adventure mapped out - literally. Brian followed their detailed explanations about which rides they would hit in which order and why with a smile on his lips. He loved the enthusiasm that was radiating off both children. It was contagious. It did look like it was going to be a fun day, though.

About halfway through the explanation of their itinerary, Gus suddenly piped up, changing the subject. "Jussin, did you remember to let B'ine pratice on you last night?"

"HUH?" Justin answered, almost choking on the water he'd been sipping.

"Don't ya amember? B'ine was apposta pratice kissing on you last night," Gus answered, exasperated that Justin had probably forgotten.

"Oh . . . Oh, yeah. Yes, I DID let him practice on me Gus," Justin confirmed, which started Daphne off giggling.

"Did he maked you need the special pants after that?" Gus asked innocently.

By now Daphne's eyes looked like a cartoon character's, they were so big, and she was laughing hysterically.

Justin just looked at Brian, needing to know what Gus was talking about. He remembered Gus saying something about special pants before, but he had never found out what it meant. He was surprised to see that the usually staid Brian seemed to be blushing under the cover of his tan.

Getting up from the table, Justin asked Brian to come into the other room, he needed to know what Gus meant. They headed into the bedroom where Brian explained about really big ‘thingies' and why they necessitated ‘special pants'. After a few minutes, Brian left an hysterical Justin in the room alone and went back out to join the rest on the couch. Daphne asked if Justin was alright - she could hear him howling with laughter in the other room.

"If you want to know, go find out for yourself," Brian said, annoyed that Justin seemed to find that the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Daphne walked into the room as Justin was again wiping his eyes and trying to stop laughing. She asked what Brian had said and Justin managed to explain, through his renewed giggles, about the need for special pants. It was another ten minutes before the still giggling friends rejoined the rest of the group again.

Justin leaned down over the back of the couch, ruffled Gus' hair with his hand, kissed his man sweetly on the cheek, and then asked if everyone was ready to head out for the day. There was a ruckus cheer of assent. So the five of them gathered up their stuff and headed out the door, ready for a day of watery fun.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian, Justin, Daphne and the kids arrived at Hersheypark for day two of their adventures, ready for some serious fun. As planned, they headed straight to the water rides, bypassing the dry rides they'd already done the day before. There were a lot of water attractions, too. And, that early in the morning, the lines weren't too bad, so they got to make several goes on the ones they liked best.

For the most part, they all stayed together and played on the rides that everyone could enjoy together. After a couple of hours, though, Gus started looking tired and dragging his feet. Daphne decided that she wanted to go get some lunch and rest too, so she offered to take the kids with her, allowing Brian and Justin to go on some of the more exciting ‘Big Kid' rides on their own. Justin and Brian offered to let Molly stay with them, but the pre-teen said she'd rather hang out with Daphne. Which meant the boys were on their own. Taking advantage of the freedom, they trotted off, almost as excited as the kids had been earlier, towards the thrilling-looking Coastline Plunge Vortex.

Three times through the Vortex later, Brian and Justin were walking towards another of the more intense rides when a guy came up to Brian and started looking him up and down. Out of habit more than anything else, Brian gave him an appraising look in return. When the guy started to reach out as if to fondle parts of Brian that Justin considered taken, he boldly looked the guy in the eye and stepped between the newcomer and his hazel-eyed man.

"He's taken," Justin told the man, slapping away the hand that was still outstretched towards Brian.

The interloper looked back and forth between this officious little blond and the tempting brunet he'd been going for. Brian shook his head to tell the guy off and then put his arm around the blond's shoulders, looking at Justin with a smile. The man shrugged and walked away.

Justin touched the trunks he was wearing and grinned up at Brian. "It works both ways, you know?"

Brian took Justin's hand and kissed it, nodding but not saying anything. He wasn't sure how he felt about Justin's possessive behavior. Generally speaking, he didn't like guys who were too clingy or controlling. He liked to be the one in control. But, on the other hand, it was kind of flattering to have the beautiful blond staking a claim to him. At least Justin wasn't all sycophantic and cloying about it. Justin was calmly assertive, he stuck up for himself, and he stuck up for Brian too. So Brian figured, maybe he could handle a bit of the dominating little blond's jealousness? As long as he got to take a turn or two with the whole controlling thing once in awhile too.

After that the boys spent the next couple of hours going on the high thrill rides together, and just enjoying each other's company, not seeming to even notice the ongoing looks they were both getting, since they were too caught up in one another to care.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When they were finally all water slided out, Brian and Justin went back to the hotel to check on Daphne and the kids. The kiddy crew had all just woken up from their naps and were watching a movie. Going back to their own room Brian and Justin took an extra long shower, complete with what had become one of their favorite pastimes - mutual shower sex.

"Wherever we go to dinner, we need cushioned chairs," Brian suggested, smiling at his younger lover.

"I don't get it. You seem to need the cushions more than I do. You need to toughen up, Stud," Justin teased, flicking a towel at his lover's tender and oh-so-tempting ass.

"You, my hot BB, have a lot more cushion of your own than I do," Brian answered, smacking the bubble butt that he enjoyed so much as he passed by on the way out of the bathroom.

Justin just giggled in response. A sound that Brian enjoyed more than he ever thought possible. He was still grinning as he pulled on his pants a minute or two later. Brian shook his head. He seriously could not remember having smiled or laughed as much as he had in the past couple of weeks. His face was actually getting tired of smiling so much. He'd probably get wrinkles because of it. Not that he was going to complain, mind you. But it was a bit of an adjustment to his prior, bleaker, less-laugh-filled life. He supposed he'd could get used to it though. Especially if he got to enjoy more afternoons like the one he'd just passed with his BB.

Justin came in then and started to get himself dressed as well, detailing the rest of their plans for after dinner while they got ready. It seemed that the group was going to hit the Hershey's Chocolate World attraction that evening. Brian wasn't sure exactly what that entailed, but it sounded fattening.

Brian looked over at the animated blond who was enthusing about all the chocolate-related things he wanted to do. "You DO know you're going to have to help me work off all the calories tonight after we get back from this damned chocolate factory. I can't believe you talked me into this. My diet is going to be ruined for the rest of the week."

"You know you only need to work off what you actually eat, right? And so far you haven't indulged at all," the blond answered.

"I'm sure I've gained weight just smelling all of it," Brian stated, convinced he was right.

"Wow. I never realized that you're such a woman," Justin giggled, jumping off the bed and trying to escape Brian's long arms as they reached out to grab the fleeing blond.

"You'll be spending a lot more time on a cushion after I show you that I am definitely NOT a woman," Brian warned the blond as he caught him, wrapping his arms around the trim, svelte body and delivering a bruising kiss to the soft pink lips.

"B'ine? Is you guys reddy fer dinner yet? Molly an me are hungry . . ." Gus interrupted, tripping into the room just as Brian's kissing was becoming more heated. "Oh, good. You's guys are pratising the kissing stuff agin'. Is B'ine is getting better, Jussin?"

"Yes, Gus. Brian is getting much, much better," Justin reassured the tyke, adding one last kiss to Brian's lips just to demonstrate.

"Thass good. But you better keep pratising till he's the betterest in the whole place. Then we kin go on the Kissing Tower again and show ‘em all how good you guys are." Brian snorted a laugh at his little exhibitionist Midget - maybe they didn't need a DNA test after all, if the kid was already showing just how much like Brian he was in that respect. "But kin we have dinner first? My tummy hurts, I's so hungry."

"Yes, Midget. We can go eat first. And then, after dinner, Justin is going to stuff all of us so full of chocolate, you'll never be hungry again."

"YAAAAAAYYYYYY!" Gus cheered at the top of his lungs, apparently just as excited by the idea of bottomless carbs as Brian's BB was.

Oh well. So much for his diet. At least he was getting lots of kissing practice out of this. Now, where were those special pants? he wondered, as he adjusted his own pants to accommodate the tightness all that kissing practice had brought about.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The remainder of the evening was spent much the way the day had gone - their hearty band of five fun-loving adventurers had a great dinner at the kitschy Hersheypark Place Restaurant inside the park and then they headed over to the Hershey Chocolate World building. They started off with a full-scale chocolate tasting experience, with Brian complaining under his breath the entire time but smiling gamely whenever Gus or Molly asked him to try just one more sample.

Justin and Daphne seemed to have the most fun on the mini-tour of the factory, even though they were all disappointed that it wasn't really used for production of the world famous Kisses anymore. The kids got a kick out of designing their own candy bars - an activity that included choosing their own ingredients, designing personalized wrappers for each of them, and then watching as the factory workers poured their candy bars. Even Brian was talked into taste testing the results, although he declined to pick an overall winner, claiming he loved all four of the selections created by his enterprising chocolateers. Altogether, it was a fun, albeit fattening, time for all.

As Justin was making one last run through the ‘World's Largest Candy Store', trying to decide how many of the giant-sized Kisses they needed to bring home as souvenirs for their friends, Brian and the kids wandered around the park entrance. It was getting late, so most of the crowds of people were on their way home. Standing right in the middle of the fray were three Candybar Characters - park workers dressed in costumes portraying themselves as life-sized Hershey candies - waving goodbye to the visitors and chatting with the guests as they filed past. Brian, who had always despised that type of commercialism, barely gave the trio a glance, but Gus seemed fascinated by them, so Brian gave in and took his Midget over to talk with the costumed bunch.

"Hello there, Kiddo. Are you having fun at the park today," the muffled voice from inside the Hershey's Bar costume asked as soon as Gus was near enough to speak with.

"You know candy bars can't talk, right?" Gus questioned right off the bat, ignoring the hand the candy bar was holding out for him to shake. "If you're trying to p'tend to be a candy bar, you shouldn't talk. ‘Cuz that's not smart. You need to be a person wif a real body ta be able ta talk. They prolly shoulda told you's dat when you got this job," he explained, looking at the character with such earnest disapproval that it was hard for Brian to hold back his laughter. "Right, B'ine?"

"That's right, Midget. Candy bars definitely don't talk and, personally, I don't get the whole concept of the thing either. Not the best marketing strategy, if you ask me."

"Yeah, I thoughted that too. Silly candy bar," Gus echoed, dismissing the costumed character out of hand as he turned away and shuffled back over to where Molly was sitting on a bench by the entrance to the store.

"Quite a chip off the old block, I'd say," Justin spoke up from where he had been standing behind Brian's shoulder. "Next thing you know, he'll be starting at Kinnetik as your new Marketing Intern."

"Stranger things have happened," Brian agreed, watching the boy chatting and laughing happily with Molly and trying to tamp down the feeling of pride Gus' actions and Justin's words had raised. "He does seem to have a knack for advertising. Maybe he's mine after all."

Justin didn't have to respond. All he had to do was look at the boy who was now beaming up at them as they approached to recognize a miniature version of his more reserved lover's smile. Justin didn't need a DNA test to tell him that these two were meant to be together. And, judging by the way Brian's face lit up as he spoke to the kids, rounding up their shopping bags and getting everyone in hand so they could head back to the hotel like any well-seasoned parent, Brian seemed perfectly content with that conclusion as well.

Even if he hadn't completely admitted it to himself yet.