Chapter 21 Answers in Life

The year I turned eight, the most sought after toy in the entire world (to date) came out. It was called a ‘BigTrack'. It was this truck/robot/ATV that purported to be both programmable and realistic. The advertising for this particular toy was amazing. Looking at those ads, any eight-year-old boy would've thought this toy could do anything. The boys in the ads were driving this truck around via remote control, delivering toys and snacks to their friends and family, and navigating them on what seemed to be high speed adventures over what look like mountains. And, like every other eight-year-old boy alive that year, I decided I had to have that BigTrack toy.

Of course, being a Kinney, actually getting a toy like that wasn't easy. I began lobbying for it three months in advance of my birthday. Both of my parents told me, repeatedly, that there was no way they could afford to buy the BigTrack. It was ridiculously expensive. But for once, I did not relent. I stuck to my guns. I insisted that this was the only thing I would ever want from them in my entire life. I begged and pleaded with both my mother and father, asking them for that toy at least 100 times each. I promised, if they gave me that BigTrack, I would never ask for another thing ever again. Apparently, I must've been pretty convincing, too, because even my drunk of a father bought into the idea and managed to stay out of the bars long enough in the months preceding my birthday to save up the money for that toy.

When the big day finally came I was ecstatic. I raced home after school, running so fast that I was dripping sweat by the time I made it to the door. I rushed into the house, only to be told by my mother that I couldn't open my presents till after dinner. Little did I know that part of the deal for getting the present of my dreams was that I'd have to sit through a long, boring, tedious dinner with my entire family. But even this wasn't too much to ask for me to get the one thing I wanted more than anything else. So I sat and I smiled and I ate dinner with those people, despite the fact that my father bitched and moaned at me the entire time.

Then, finally, after the dinner dishes were cleared away, my mother brought out a small store-bought cake with one candle in it and a box wrapped in pretty blue paper with a gold ribbon. It was the most beautiful present I'd ever received - not that I'd received that many. That didn't stop me, though. I simply tore into the present, ripping the ribbon off and tearing the paper away without any regard to its beauty.

And yes, inside the wrapping paper, was the long-awaited BigTrack. It was just what I had wanted. For once, I'd actually got something I'd asked my parents for. They had finally come through. It was the defining moment of my childhood. I was giddy with anticipation as I sliced through the tape holding the paperboard box closed and slowly opened the lid.

Two days later, I finally managed to put the damn thing together. Well, I put it together as well as I could. Considering the fact that I was only eight years old, I didn't have an advanced engineering degree, and didn't speak Korean, which was the language all of the assembly instructions were written in, I think I did pretty well. Unfortunately, I apparently didn't do well enough to make the damn thing work correctly.

That fucking toy was a complete dud.

To start with, it barely drove. One of the wheels was wobbly and rattled, it never went straight, and there was a constant grinding, rattling and shaking noise coming from somewhere inside that I could never find no matter how many times I tried to rebuild it. I also could never figure out how to do the damn programming thing - I spent at least a week talking into the little remote control speaker-thing, that they said would respond to your commands, all for nothing. Maybe you had to give commands in Korean or something. I don't know. But it never worked.

And so, after finally obtaining the one thing I thought I wanted more than anything in the world, I was forced to the realization that I had nothing. I'd been gypped. I'd been bamboozled into thinking that I actually wanted something that in the end wasn't worth even a tenth of the effort I put in to get it.

And I was pissed off.

It didn't help much that my father laughed his ass off at me when he found out. Jack thought it was hilarious that I'd been ripped off. To Jack Kinney this was the ultimate lesson in life's hard knocks. So, not only did I have to deal with the disappointment of discovering that the thing I wanted most in the word was a piece of trash, but I also had to deal with a gloating father who refused to let the matter drop and instead kept intentionally rubbing it in every time he saw me for the next fuck-knows-how-many months.

"Be careful what you wish for, Sonny Boy," he would say, laughingly, every time we walked by my room and saw that hunk of junk sitting on my bookshelf. "You just might get what you asked for."

And of course, from then on out, my parents never listened to me when I asked for anything. That was the last real birthday present I ever got. If I even dared to ask for something that I wanted, they would just laugh at me, remind me of what a disaster the BigTrack had been, and then blow off my request.

So, is it really any wonder that I still, to this day, have a bit of trouble believing that what I think is my heart's desire will actually turn out to be worth it . . .

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The following morning Brian woke up and told Justin that he needed to go to the loft for some other suits and to check on some things. Justin offered to go along with him after they dropped the kids off at the GLC. Since school hadn't started yet for Molly, she would go to the daycare with Gus to help out. Brian told Justin he would rather go alone, that way the blond could have time to work on his latest painting while the condo would be empty. He said he also wanted to check in at Kinnetik but wouldn't be too long and would bring the kids back with him in the afternoon. Justin readily agreed to this plan, excited to get to his easel, but pausing long enough to give Brian a nice, long, hearty kiss and remind him to hurry back. Brian patted the retreating bubble butt and sent the artist on his way, before heading out with the kids in tow

After dropping the kids off at the GLC, Brian pulled up at the loft. The building that had been home to him for so many years, now seemed different somehow. He took the stairs up to his penthouse loft and pulled back the heavy, metal door, noting that the once familiar clanging of the door rolling in it's track sounded too loud and brash that morning. As he stepped into the space he realized that the apartment felt foreign to him. Empty. Not physically empty - his things were still there - but empty nonetheless. What had been his sanctuary, his fuck-pad, his showplace, now felt like a cold, dreary space, devoid of anything that made it a home. He shivered as he walked across the floor, noting the eerie echo of his boot heels on the wood floor. He couldn't wait get to the hell out of there again. He quickly got the clothes and things he needed and left, locking the door and setting the alarm with an unanticipated sense of relief.

He decided to stop in at the Diner on the way to Kinnetik. Brian hadn't checked in with Deb or the gang in quite a while and felt it was probably time. He also figured he needed someone who had known him for a while to talk with about how he was feeling - a sounding board of sorts - and Deb was always good for that.

Pulling up in front of the diner, he looked through the window and saw Deb refilling coffee cups and then heading to another booth where she sat down across from Emmett. Brian walked in and joined them at the booth, sliding in next to the tall southern queen. Both of the occupants looked at him with surprise, as if they didn't expect to see him, despite the fact that he'd been coming to the Diner for breakfast for at least the last fifteen years.

"Morning, Ladies," Brian quipped with his usual snarky smile.

As Deb started to get up and get him coffee, Brian put his hand on her arm and told her to stay put, he could get it. He quickly slid back out, walked behind the counter for a cup and filled it. Coming back to the table and sitting down, he dumped in the required amount of sugar. When he looked up he saw the two of them staring at him like he had just hatched out of a pod in a bad movie.

"What? I do know how to fill a cup. It's not rocket science."

"I've just never seen you do it before, Brian. Are you feeling alright?" Deb asked, still staring at the man.

Instead of immediately shooting back at Deb with a biting retort, like he usually would, Brian paused and mulled over over his response before finally speaking.

"Do I seem. . .  different?" Brian asked, looking at the two people at the table with a fiery intensity they didn't recognize.

"Well, Sweetie, I don't know about different, but you certainly do seem a lot more relaxed than the Brian we've come to know and feel slightly offended by. Plus, you look happier than you have in years," Emmett answered honestly, giving Brian's arm a friendly and reassuring squeeze as he spoke.

"I agree," Deb interjected, "That gorgeous blond and that little boy have apparently turned your whole world upside down. But, from where I'm sitting, I'd say it's about damned time," she insisted with an emphatic nod.

"You don't think it's weird or . . . I don't know . . ." Brian struggled to put the alien feelings that were overwhelming him into words. "Maybe I'm just turning into a pathetic old queen going through a midlife crisis or something. I mean, I've never even fucked the same guy twice - well, at least not intentionally - and here I am . . . I've only been gone from the condo about a half hour and I already want to rush back to see him. Don't you think that's fucked up or something?" Then Brian lowered his voice so that both Deb and Em had to lean forward just to hear the next words. "I haven't . . . I haven't fucked anyone but Justin since I met him, and somehow I still can't seem to get enough of him. And it's . . . Well, it's good . . . Better than good, it's fucking amazing . . . But it's kind of freaking me out too," Brian confessed, looking so bashful and unsure of himself it almost melted both his friends' soft hearts. "Is this . . . Is this normal?"

"Oh, Honey." Emmett patted Brian's arm "No need to freak out. Have you ever thought that maybe you finally just found what you've been missing in your life?"

Brian still didn't look convinced. In fact, he looked a little shell shocked, which was totally unlike the usual Brian Kinney self-confidence his friends and the rest of the world were used to seeing. Deb would have laughed out loud if she didn't think it would scare the man off.

"Brian. Kiddo. Take a deep breath," Debbie ordered. Brian looked back at her skeptically, but she merely pointed one long red-lacquered nail back at him, so he complied. Once he'd gulped in a breath or two, and visibly relaxed as a result, Debbie reached across the table and grabbed both of Brian's hands in her own. "Now, just answer without thinking about it. What do you WANT?"

"I want Justin. And I want to be a father to Gus. I don't want to be alone anymore."

The words just burst out of Brian's lips before he had even had time to blink. And as soon as they were out, he realized how true they were. It didn't sound all that bad either. The words sounded much less scary spoken aloud than they had echoing around in his head. It helped that nobody laughed at him for voicing what he'd feared would come off as preposterous nonsense. All he saw in the eyes of his friends was happiness and support.

Maybe he really could do this. Maybe he was making the right decision. It wasn't something he needed to freak out over after all.

Brian left the diner feeling happy and relieved. His friends were happy for him and supported him. And he realized that no matter what the results of the DNA test were, he knew in his heart that he would find a way to keep the small boy who he loved and who had changed his world for the better. He'd also be keeping the man who had so completely invaded his life and his heart. And it was all good.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian only stayed at Kinnetik a few hours. Cynthia and Ted appeared to have everything in hand. All he had to do was review some paperwork, sign off on a few new campaigns, and return a handful of calls. Cynthia assured him that the rest could wait. If he wasn't so distracted and excited to get back to Justin's condo for more of whatever it was he'd decided he wanted, Brian might have even been a little miffed that his company didn't really seem to need him. But the thought of Justin's ass waiting for him back at home reassured him that it was in fact a good thing that he didn't need to be at work any longer that afternoon.

He was done by mid afternoon and decided to go pick up the kids from the GLC early and then head back to the condo. The kids were a little reluctant to leave so soon, as they were in the middle of a craft project - something involving rocks, paint, liters of glue and feathers. They were creating more of a mess, as far as Brian could tell, than any actual art. But once they were assured they could finish their projects the next time they came back, they acceded to Brian's wishes easily. Twenty minutes later, they were all back home. When Gus asked if they could watch a movie, Brian happily complied so that he could head off to find his BB.

Gus, of course, wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast. Again. Brian shook his head. The Midget had watched it so many times Brian thought he could recite the whole movie right along with the kids. He was determined that they should watch something else. Anything else. Please.

However, Gus started to look so sad, that Justin - who had popped out of his studio as soon as he heard all the commotion of their return - intervened, suggesting that they watch ‘Yellow Submarine' which was his favorite movie. Gus looked skeptical, until Justin told him that they could all sing the songs while they watched. Brian resigned himself to having to share his BB with the kids for at least a little while longer, although he drew the line at joining in the sing-a-long. Gus snuggled up to Molly while Brian and Justin sat together, wrapped in each other's arms. Sunshine laid at their feet, snuggling against the sofa. The movie played and, as promised, Justin sang along with the songs in the movie.

"You are a man of many talents, BB. You have an amazing voice," Brian whispered.

"It just goes along with my other amazing parts, Stud," the blond replied, punctuating his words with a small kiss to Brian's cheek.

By the time the movie ended, both Brian and Justin had fallen asleep. They had been up late the night before and had only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Molly kept Gus entertained until they got hungry and went to wake the men up.

After cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, Brian went to look for his phone. Gus was coming out of the bathroom while Brian was looking around the sofa.

"Whatcha doin', B'ine?"

"Looking for my phone."

"OH," Gus answered, in what sounded to Brian like a slightly guilty voice.

"Gus, did you use my phone?"

"Um . . . well . . . ah . . ." Gus answered, looking at the floor.

"Gus . . . ?"

"I jus . . . um . . . I takeded a movie of you an Jussin sleepin on da sofa," Gus answered in a whisper as he started to tear up. "I's sowwy. You and Jussin was makin' funny noises and dribblin'. I wanted ta shows you how funny it was," he answered, heading for the chair.

Gus handed Brian his phone, still looking at the floor like he was scared.

"Gus, look at me," Brian said as calmly as he could, while sitting down so he would look less intimidating. "Another rule. You don't touch my phone or anything else that's not yours without asking, got it?"

"Yes, B'ine. I gots it."

Gus toddled off to find Molly, a little quiet after being reprimanded but not too overly upset. Brian mentally patted himself on the back for doing the parenting thing so successfully. He had been firm but fair and had set reasonable boundaries and rules. That was what parents were supposed to do, right? He was actually pretty proud of himself. He could SOOOO do this family thing.

As soon as Gus was out of sight, he picked up the phone and opened the video Gus had made of him and Justin. They were both snoring and drooling a little. It was kind of funny. And really, REALLY embarrassing. He certainly hoped that none of his friends would see this.

Then he looked at the images he saw on the tiny screen and examined them more closely. What he saw wasn't just two men sleeping on a couch. There was an intimacy to it that he wouldn't have previously identified as something he would ever be a part of. He also saw a man - himself - who was worn out after a long day of family activities; time spent with his lover, his business, and his kids. He almost couldn't believe THAT was him. Brian Kinney had somehow, in the course of just a handful of weeks, changed from a hip, club-going, gay lothario, to a middle-aged, family man who fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. Damn! How the fuck had this happened?

Did he REALLY want to become that guy? Was he now so pathetic that this was all he had to look forward to? And, despite the decisions he'd made in the past couple of days, and the happiness he'd felt just that morning at the Diner when he'd resolved that, yes, he did want this life and it was good for him, Brian felt a pang of panicked doubt.

"Aww. Now you know hoe adorable you look when you sleep, Stud." Justin's comment surprised the stud in question who had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't heard the man coming up behind him to peek over his shoulder at the video he was playing yet again. "But the drooling . . . well, we need to talk about that," Justin teased, wrapping his arms around Brian's waist from behind and kissing him on the cheek.

Brian could feel his embarrassment rising and he was on the verge of shooting back with a biting rejoinder about the other drooler in the shot. How dare this little twat make fun of him? Fuck him and all his stupid, lesbianic, family-centric gobledly-gook . . .

Then Brian stopped.

The body standing behind him was pressed up against him as closely as Justin could get. The sweet little kisses that had started out light and teasing began to change into lusty nibbles that were tickling down the sensitive nerves of his neck. And there was a growing, insistent, hardness rising up between their bodies, which Justin was now rhythmically pressing against the back of Brian's hip.

"Damn, Kinney," Justin's whispers continued in Brian's ear, his voice dropping an octave into a very sexy range. "I don't know how the fuck you make drooling look so fucking sexy! You've got to be the hottest man on the entire fucking planet. Every minute I spend with you, I just want you more and more. How is that even possible?" Justin emphasized his point by thrusting more insistently with his now rock-hard cock against Brian's back side. "Damn it! I can't wait till after dinner. I need you inside me right fucking now, Brian. I'll turn the stove off and meet you in the laundry room in two minutes. Don't be late or I'll have to start without you!"

With one last bite to Brian's shoulder blade, the hot little blond was gone, leaving Brian wondering what the hell had just happened. He looked at the image on the now-paused video again. Where he'd previously seen just an old, tired couple drooling on the couch, he now saw it through Justin's eyes, and was amazed. Justin found THAT Brian to be the hottest thing in his world? Hmmm. So, apparently drooling was the new sexy?

"Stud! Get your ass in here!" Justin shouted insistently from the direction of the laundry room.

Putting his phone down on the coffee table, Brian turned and heeded the call. Who was he to argue if his man found drooling on the couch together sexy? He would take it. And he'd take this life that seemed to come along with it. Because, a sexy rendez-vous in the laundry room in the middle of preparing dinner for his kids seemed like a good thing to him.

It seemed like it was EXACTLY where Brian Kinney wanted to be right then.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After dinner, Justin had been in his studio finishing up some sketches when Daphne called and said she would be over after her shift with the results of the DNA test. Justin immediately went to find Brian, who was in the kitchen with the kids. Justin had told them they could have cookies and milk and Brian was supervising.

"Hey, Stud. Daphne will be over later with the answer."

"Did she tell you what it was?" Brian looked up at him with trepidation.

"No. Just said she would be over right after her shift," Justin replied, giving Brian's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Molly looked at the men, both of whom looked very concerned. "Why don't you guys go to the studio and talk. Gus and I can watch another movie after we finish our cookies."

"Thanks, Molly," Justin answered, taking Brian's hand and leading him back to the studio.

Once the door was locked, Justin pushed Brian down onto the chaise without warning, knelt at his feet, opened Brian's pants, took out Brian's beautiful cock and began working it with his talented tongue. He was intent on taking the Stud's mind off the impending results for at least a few minutes longer.

"Oh, Fuck! Yes . . . ahhh . . . just like that," Brian moaned as Justin licked, sucked, and then swallowed him whole.

The stud was surprised how ready he was, despite their prior interlude just an hour earlier in the laundry room. Of course, anytime he was with Justin, he seemed to want him. Over and over and over again. The blond was just THAT talented.

Justin continued his ministrations until Brian was practically incoherent, backing off every time the older man got too close to the end. Finally, Brian gripped Justin's hair, almost begging the blond to finish him off. Taking the huge cock all the way down and humming as he hollowed out his cheeks, Justin got the reward he wanted, with Brian shooting a huge load down his throat as he called out the blond's name. Justin had managed to catch the last bit on his tongue and shared it with his lover as he was pulled up and his lips were parted by Brian's tongue.

Laying next to each other on the chaise while they caught their breath, Brian spoke first. "Why didn't Daphne just tell you the results?"

"Maybe she didn't even look at them, Stud. She may want you to be the first to know." Brian eyed Justin skeptically. "Sorry, Brian. I didn't even think to ask whether she knew."

Brian seemed to relent, sinking back, deeper, against the cushions on the chaise. The men just held each other after that, both caught up in their own thoughts, hoping that the results would be what they wanted - wishing for results that would help bind them together as a family - because neither man wanted to let go of the little boy they both loved and who had brought them together.

An hour later they finally heard the doorbell ring. Molly had answered the door before they could get there. They heard Daphne's voice, asking where they were as they pulled on their clothing. When Daphne knocked on the studio door, Justin trotted over, opening the door and ushering her in.

"Why didn't you just tell Justin the results?" Brian demanded as soon as she walked into the room.

"Sorry. I didn't even look at them. I thought you should be the first to know," she answered, handing Brian the sealed envelope that contained the answer which would shape their future.

Brian stood there just holding it, staring blankly at the pre-printed label and turning the envelope over in his hands. Finally he handed the sealed envelope to Justin.

"You do it. I can't."

Nervously, Justin ripped at the sealed flap on the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. As he read the results his eyes filled with tears that tracked down his cheeks. Brian, of course, assumed the worst.

Seeing Brian's devastated look, Justin jumped into his arms. "Congratulations, Dad. It's a boy!"

"He's . . . He's mine? He's really mine?" Brian stuttered, grabbing first the letter to confirm the results, and then Justin so he could hug the smaller man to him tightly.

Justin nodded and pointed to the conclusion section on the report. Then they were both jumping up and down and cheering like silly twats. Daphne had meanwhile slipped out and shut the door to give them some privacy, hoping they would come out soon and let the kids know. Molly knew about the test, but they hadn't told Gus, deciding that it would be too hard to explain to a five year old. They hadn't wanted to get his hopes up and then upset him if it turned out Brian wasn't his father. When Molly saw Daphne walk out with tears in her eyes, she started to get upset, but Daphne smiled at her and nodded, so she knew that it was good news and hugged Daphne tightly.

A few minutes later, Brian and Justin finally emerged, walking into the living room to see Molly and Daphne sitting happily together, waiting for them. Molly ran over to the men, hugging them both and whispering ‘Congratulations' into Brian's ear. Brian went over and sat next to Gus, who was looking a little confused about why everyone was acting so strangely.

"Gus, remember when Daphne did the test on you the other day?" When the boy still looked confused, Brian elaborated. "You know, when she took that cotton swab and rubbed it inside your cheek?"

That seemed to explain things and Gus promptly answered, "yes. I remember B'ine."

"Well, it was a test to see whether or not I was really your daddy."

"But, B'ine, when I commed to your house at night after I was on da plane, you said no, that you're not my daddy."

"Well, I was wrong. According to the test Dr. Daffy did, I am your daddy, Gus."

"Really and truly?" Gus' little eyes got as wide as saucers, lighting up with hazel sparkles just like his father's. "You IS my daddy? YAY! Now I have a real daddy. I never had one of those before," Gus answered excitedly, jumping into Brian's lap and hugging the big man for all he was worth.

"Can I call you ‘Daddy B'ine' now?" Gus asked, looking into the damp, hazel eyes of his father.

"Yes, Gus. You can call me Daddy B'ine now," Brian answered, losing the fight to hold back his emotions.

"Is Jussin gonna be my daddy too?" Gus asked innocently, looking at Justin, who was standing there with tears in his eyes as well.

"I sure hope so, Gus," Brian answered, looking up pleadingly at his blond.

Justin just stood there, staring, with the tears that had escaped his eyes now running down his face.

"Don't you want to be my other daddy, Jussin?" Gus asked sadly, starting to tear up, thinking Justin didn't want him.

Justin dropped to his knees in front of the little boy he already loved like Gus was his own. "Oh, Gus, I'd love to be your other daddy," he said, gathering the hopeful boy in his arms and holding onto the little body tightly.

"I love you, Daddy Jussin," Gus answered, hugging Justin back as hard as his small arms could.

"I love you too, Gus," Justin answered, holding the small boy who wanted to be his son.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When it was time for Gus to go to bed, he asked if his Daddy Jussin would read him a story. Smiling through his renewed tears, Justin picked up his son and carried him to the room Gus had come to think of as HIS room. Gus got into his pajamas, used the bathroom, and then climbed into the bed where Justin was holding the Leather Bear and waiting for him.

"Hey, Gus, what's your bear's name? You've never properly introduced us," Justin asked, using the question to distract himself.

"I just call him ‘bear'," the child answered, shrugging.

"Don't you think he should have a better name than that?" Justin asked receiving only another shrug for his pains. "You know, I had a bear when I was little. Do you want to know what his name was?"

"Sure, Daddy Jussin," Gus smiled at Justin, who was trying not to tear up every single time he was called ‘Daddy'.

"His name was ‘Gus'," Justin revealed to the surprised boy.

"Really and truly? That's my name too. Where is your Gus Bear now?"

"He's in a box in the storage room."

"Can we brings him up here tamorrow? Please Daddy Jussin. Then our bears can be friends."

"Sure. I think Gus Bear would love to have a friend," Justin asserted, tucking the unnamed bear in with Gus under the covers.

Gus squirmed down under the covers till he was more comfy, and then looked up at his new father with a serious expression. "Daddy Jussin, I think my bear needs a name, too. So's we kin tell Gus Bear who his friend is."

"I think that's a great idea, Gus. Every bear needs a name of his own. So, what name do you think your bear would like?"

Gus' sat thoughtfully for a minute or two before his eyes lit up and he started bouncing.

"I know. I know! I'll calls him ‘Jussin'. Cause you's my ‘Daddy Jussin' now and that way I can still haves a regalar ‘Jussin'."

Justin couldn't help the new tears that started to fall at this pronouncement. This little boy made him so happy. He readily agreed to the new name and they both kissed the Jussin Bear to seal the deal. Then, settling back on the pillows next to the boy, Justin proceeded to read his son a story.

That's how Brian found them an hour later, snuggled together, asleep.

The newly minted father took a few pictures, hoping that Justin would paint the touching scene for him later. But, as Brian leaned down to kiss the two and cover them up, Justin awoke, smiling up at him with such tenderness that it made Brian's heart do one of those floppy things that seemed to happen more and more these days. Justin carefully extracted himself from the bed and they both helped covered their son before heading, hand in hand, to their room.

After slowly making love, Brian told Justin about his talk with Deb and Emmett Earlier that morning at the Diner. Justin listened, trying not to interrupt even when he felt so much overwhelming love for the man lying next to him that he thought he would burst with it. Later, after Brian was done with his little confession, as the younger man drew lazy circles around Brian's heart, they both finally let themselves believe that whatever this was between them might actually work.

When they finally finished talking, much, much later that night, the two men fell asleep, entwined and happy.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.