Sunday, March 29, early morning Brian’s pool house

“Are you disappointed?” Justin asked quietly in an unsure voice.

Brian was dumbstruck. Disappointed?! Brian had nearly passed out he had come so hard. He was laying on his back on the chaise cushions they had dragged onto the pool deck. His chest was heaving and he was trying to steady his heart rate to a point where he could breath and speak at the same time. How could Justin think he was disappointed?

“Dis-(huff)-a-(huff)-pointed?” Brian managed to wheeze out. He turned his head to look at Justin - he couldn’t move more of his body if his life depended on it.

Finally getting his breathing under control, Brian turned to haul Justin up onto his chest, cradling the younger man in his arms. “That was one of the most incredible fucks of my life. How could you think I was disappointed?” Brian stared down at Justin’s head, wishing he could see the younger man’s eyes.

Justin’s face pinkened a bit at the praise. Justin propped himself on Brian’s Chest, raising his head so he could see Brian’s face. “I meant at The Wheel. You know, uh, not doing it in the back room.”

Brian almost laughed it off, but he could see Justin was serious. Brian shook his head and looked into Justin’s incredibly blue eyes. “No, I’m not disappointed. It’s one thing to get off in a back room where you’re doing what everyone else is doing. It’s another thing to be fucking main attraction at the circus. Even my ego isn’t that big. I may get off getting off in public places, but I prefer it be a bit more anonymous.”

Justin laid his head back down on Brian’s chest, his fingers tracing random patterns on the older man’s chest.

Brian stroked his fingers through Justin’s silky hair.

They lay there quietly in the night, caressing each other, each lost in their own thoughts. Their bodies spent, they fell deeply and peacefully into the arms of morpheus.

The midnight blue of the night gave way to the blue grey light of morning. Brian had woken early but didn’t stir. He was becoming used to waking with his arms full of Justin. Brian brushed kisses on the top of Justin’s head and squeezed Justin lightly. He liked feeling Justin in his arms; he liked the way he felt when he held Justin in his arms.

Brian was at a loss to define his feelings for the younger man. His time with Justin was indescribable. He only knew that he felt a stirring in his chest, a gladness to be near Justin. As cliche as it sounded, he felt his heart skip a beat when Justin came to him, smiled at him, loved him. Love? Brian shook his head - but why not? Michael and Ben, Ted and Blake, Emmett and Drew, Linds and Mel, Debbie and Carl. Why not him? Why not him and Justin? Christ, was he becoming a lesbian?

The blond man in his arms stirred and burrowed closer to Brian’s warmth. Lengthening his body, Justin stretched from his toes to his fingertips. His arms outstretched above Brian’s head, Justin raised his head and placed an awkward kiss on Brian’s chin.

“Morning.” Justin yawned.

Brian smiled and kissed the top of Justin’s head. “Indeed it is. I guess we should get up to bed and try to get some sleep before everyone gets up.”

“What time is it?”

Brian looked around for his watch and found it next to a pile of torn condom wrappers. Picking up the timepiece, he told Justin, “about twenty five to seven.”

Justin snuggled into Brian ready to fall back to sleep. “I don’t suppose we could just stay here?”

But Brian was already shifting to his knees and feet, grabbing Justin’s hand and pulling the younger man up.

“If we stay here, they’ll eventually find us. If we go upstairs, we can hide from them until at least noon.”

Justin nodded and sniffed. “Probably for the best, we should wash off the chlorine and other substances.”

Brian smiled. He gathered up their clothes, while Justin returned the cushions to the chaises and threw away the trash. Brian returned with two robes from the changing room, wrapping one around himself before bundling Justin into the other. With the pool area righted and Justin tucked under Brian’s arm, they walked unhurried up the covered path to the house.

As they approached the door to the house, Brian reached for the doorknob. The door not big enough to squeeze both of them through, Brian reluctantly dropped his arm from Justin’s shoulders. As they entered the house, Brian threw their clothes in a pile next to the doorframe and grabbed Justin by the hand. Brian brought the hand to his lips, kissing the back then turning it over to kiss opened mouthed on the palm. Hazel eyes, flickering green and gold looked into midnight blue.

Justin’s heart lurched, he could feel it take a nosedive into his stomach and he knew that he had fallen in love with Brian Kinney. Eyes not waivering, Justin brought his free hand up to Brian’s face and caressed it before drawing the older man down to meet his lips.

The kiss was slow, sensual and said so much. Brian fought to kept his eyes open, but as the kiss deepened he didn’t want to see, he wanted to feel. Justin was amazing, his time together with Justin was amazing. Together, they were amazing. Brian’s hands untied the belt of Justin’s robe and slipped inside to caress the pale skin underneath. Justin leaned closer repeating the movement with Brian’s robe.

“Coffee?” Emmett asked from across the room. He had been watching the tender and loving scene unfold before him. He had figured he’d better make his presence known before things got any more serious.

Justin started, but Brian held him firmly to his body. Easing his hands out from under Justin’s robe, Brian crossed and belted Justin’s robe before doing the same to his own robe. He turned and pulled Justin so the younger man’s back was against his chest, keeping his arms loosely around Justin. Brian propped his head on Justin’s shoulder and looked at Emmett.

“Thanks Em,” came the easy reply. “But Justin and I want to wash off the chlorine from the pool. We’ll get some later when we come down.” Brian gathered up the clothes from the doorway in one arm, and slung his other arm around Justin. They crossed the room to the hall and climbed the stairs.

“Interesting.” Emmett murmured to himself and went back to pouring himself a cup of coffee.

~~~~~~

Bypassing the bed, Brian led Justin to the shower to wash away the film and fragrance of the pool chemicals.

Brian was soaping Justin’s back when Justin turned in his arms and faced Brian. “You know, I think you have a water fetish.”

Brian chuckled easily, “Now why would you say that, Mr. Taylor?”

“You don’t seem to be able to stay away from it for very long. I’m going to end up a prune.”

Brian smiled as he turned Justin back around and continued to soap his back.

~~~~~~

“He is not!” Michael stormed across the pool deck and dramatically threw himself into the deep end of the pool.

“That went well,” Ted commented as he took the chaise next to Emmett.

“Oh Teddy, you should have seen them this morning. I don’t ever think that I’ve seen Brian loving and tender as he was with Justin. I tell you that the man has fallen in love, and his little blond twink certainly feels the same way. Everything about them was soft and so caring.”

Ted snorted. “You’re crazy. Brian is still Brian. Drugs, booze and boys. He may have slowed down and mellowed these past few years, but he’s not about to fall in love and settle down.”

“Teddy,” Emmett thought he’d try a different tact. “What do we really know about Brian and his life anymore? How much do we really see him?

Ted really didn’t know what to think. It was so unlike Emmett to insist and force an issue. Generally Emmett was a free spirit - easygoing, live and let live. “I see him everyday almost - at work.”

“Precisely, you see him at work in a work environment. I see him when my party planning business cross paths. We see him at the diner. But before a few weeks ago, before Justin, when was the last time we saw him socially? at Babylon? and I don’t mean as it relates to him owning Babylon.”

Ted had to think - other than a business capacity, Brian had been noticeably absent from Babylon and most other social occasions for the past few years. At work Brian was soul of decorum. As a matter of fact, looking back at it, Ted couldn’t remember the last time Brian had taken a little extra time tricking with a client in the bathroom. And certainly not since Justin had shown up in the past few weeks.

“Perhaps you are right. Perhaps somewhere along the way Brian changed.”

Emmett nodded, “Somewhere along the way, Brian *has* changed. I think we don’t see it because we don’t want to see it. We don’t really want him to change - Mikey especially. There’s something comfortable about balls-to-the-wall, I-don’t-give-a-fuck Kinney. As long as we keep Brian relegated to who he was five, ten years ago, we don’t get any older. We’ve all changed, but we haven’t changed because our leader is still the same. Edgy, risk-taking, thrilling - living out the fantasies we only dare to dream of. As long as we can keep Brian the icon of our youth, we don’t get any older.”

Ted pondered Emmett’s analysis. “I did notice that he wasn’t doing any drugs last night. And compared to everyone else, after the first beer and the one Beam, he drank water most of the night.”

“And he was by Justin’s side all night. Did you notice how they kept in contact no matter what? Even if it was just a touch, it was like they couldn’t bear to parted from one another even for a fraction of a second. The whole drive home, Brian kept his hand on Justin’s leg.” When Ted rolled his eyes, Emmett clarified, “He wasn’t feeling Justin up, it wasn’t sexual. It was more like a ‘I can’t bear not to touch you’ thing.”

Ted contemplated this. Could they have ignored the signs and changes in Brian because secretly they wanted to retain their youth? It would make sense. The gang could go happily about their business and their lives, secure in the fact that they weren’t getting older, getting grayer, getting more settled and staid. By making sure that Brian was still the youthful, irreverent and irresponsible one, they could feel secure and safe - and a bit superior - that they had grown up, but hadn’t really changed. By making Brian out to be their Peter Pan they had ascribed Brian’s destiny to be forever young. But in doing so they also had unfairly put Brian in the position of never being able to have a loving and long term relationship.

~~~~~~

After their shower, Brian and Justin had sought the warmth of Brian’s bed. Justin had easily fallen asleep, secure in Brian’s arms. Brian smiled at the ease and trust that Justin showed in him.

For Brian sleep did not come so easy. He had been distracted by his earlier thoughts about Justin and love. He longed for someone to talk to about it. He knew he couldn’t talk to Michael about it. No matter how long they had been friends, Michael just had a stick up his ass when it came to Justin. He supposed he could talk to Debbie or Linds, but he was sure that they’d go all female on him. By the time they’d finish the conversation, Brian was sure they’d have him and Justin in matching Vera Wangs and marching down the aisle.

Brian quickly dismissed the rest of his ‘family’ as well. Ted? Advice from Ted on anything other than financial matters was a bust. Emmett? No, Emmett would be as bad as Deb and Linds. Mel? was he out of his fucking mind? Zen Ben? possibly, but too close to Mikey. And he wasn’t looking to get anything out of Carl, Blake or Drew. Brian laughed to himself, Gus would probably be a better bet.

Justin shifted in Brian’s arms and pulled Brian from his musings. Brian looked at Justin. Was the answer as easy as this? Should he just talk to Justin about it? Justin shifted again rubbing his body against Brian’s. All other thoughts were banished from Brian’s brain.

~~~~~~~

It was one o’clock before Brian and Justin emerged from the bedroom and made their way downstairs.

They found Ted, Emmett and Michael at the kitchen table eating lunch, still dressed in their swimsuits.

It was decided that the gang would head back to the Pitts around five. With no one being overly anxious to do anything, they decided to spend the rest of the day lazing around the pool. Justin shot Brian a look and silently mouthed “water freak”. Brian smiled and turned back to the conversation of his friends.

~~~~~

Michael called shotgun as he, Ted and Emmett piled their belongings into Brian’s Jeep. Brian had crossed to the Element where Justin was getting ready to head back to Pittsburgh. Justin had just placed his bag on the back seat and was closing the door when he felt Brian approach.

“Do you want to come by the loft tonight? We can drive to the airport together in the morning.”

Justin shook his head. He still was leery of the loft. “Julio says that since all the inspections are completed, the certificate of occupancy for the service station should be signed off tomorrow. Which means when I get back on Tuesday I can move in. Tonight is the last night that I’ll be spending at the apartment. I think I want to spend some time with Daphne - she’s been so great letting me stay with her the past few months. She has the overnight shift, but it means I can be with her until 10:30 or so. But if the offer is still open, I’d appreciate a lift to the airport.”

Brian nodded. He opened the door for Justin. Justin climbed in, and Brian pulled the seat belt across Justin’s body snapping it in place. Brian kissed Justin gently. “I’ll pick you up at 5:30am. Later.”

“Later.”

Brian closed the door and watched the Element back out of the garage, travel down the drive and head off to Pittsburgh.

Michael had watched the exchange from his seat in the Jeep. Brian crossed to the Jeep and got in.

“Want to go to Woody’s tonight?” Michael asked everyone, but really meant Brian. Emmett and Ted missing their partners declined. They had had their adventure in the country and were looking forward to spending time at home this evening with the one they loved.

“I think I’ll give it a pass.” Brian said. “I have some things to prepare for for tomorrow. Besides, don’t you want to hurry home to your honey as well?”

Michael flushed, he hadn’t really thought about Ben. Ben would be disappointed if he stayed out all night with Brian. “Yes, I’d like that, but Ben - and Drew and Blake - could join us.”

“I’ll give it a pass tonight, Mikey.” Brian closed the conversation and concentrated on the road as they headed toward the Interstate.