Chapter 2: A time to keep, and a time to cast away.
Brian stood in the doorway to the barn and looked out over the snow covered grounds and sighed. Winter seemed to be lingering longer than usual this year. There was a part of him that relished these quiet weeks in March before spring arrived—it was a time to sit back and regroup before the rush of planting and pruning and mowing and fertilizing—but a part of him grew restless every year, anticipating the beauty of the coming season.
“Spring will be here soon enough,” Justin said from behind him and Brian smiled. Leave it to the twink to know exactly what he was thinking. “Enjoy the time we have now and let the rest come when it comes.”
Justin was such a twat sometimes and Brian told him so. “You are such a twat, Sunshine. Sometimes I think you must either be a poet or a lesbian, because no self-respecting gay man talks the way you do.”
Justin laughed and said, “Fuck you, Stud.”
“What have I told you about calling me Stud?” Brian scolded with tongue in cheek.
Justin pranced over to the couch and flopped down. “Only in bed. But since you won’t take me to bed, I’ll just have to keep breaking the rules.”
Brian rolled his eyes. Justin had been trying to entice him into bed for more than three years now and it got harder and harder to turn him away. The boy had grown up a lot in the last three years and Brian could hardly recognize the boy he first met. He was just as beautiful as ever, but his jaw line was square now, not rounded with youth. He actually shaved, though Brian suspected it was only every other day and could probably be every third day because of how light and fine his facial hair was. His eyes were still the same luminous blue that had drawn Brian to him the first time he saw him, but they were wiser now, more jaded.
Things hadn’t been easy for Justin over the last few years. He chose to be very open about his sexuality but not all of the teachers or students were accepting of him. In fact, he had suffered quite a bit of bullying until Brian had taught Justin a few tricks he had learned growing up in the rougher parts of town. The worst of the bullies still tossed around slurs and liked to push their luck, but the worst of the physical abuse had stopped after Justin beat the hell out of one of the football players. Brian was rather glad that these boys seemed to have some sort of honor, because in his neighborhood, Justin never would have been faced with just one attacker at a time. In his neighborhood, there was always a group.
“You remember what today is?” Justin asked pointedly as he rose from the sofa and approached Brian with purpose.
Brian nodded. “Your birthday. I have your present on the table.”
“My 17th birthday,” Justin corrected as he got closer to Brian and Brian wondered momentarily what had ever happened to the shy boy who had blushed every time Brian spoke to him. Justin was upon him now, but Brian refused to back down from Justin. “You know what that means?”
“Tell me, Sunshine,” Brian said in husky voice.
“It means I’m legal,” Justin stood on tiptoes and whispered into Brian’s ear, his breath warming his skin and making the older man shiver with desire. “And since you’ve got that job lined up and don’t really need this one anymore… well, you’ve run out of excuses not to fuck me.”
Brian closed his eyes and absorbed the sensations of Justin’s young body against his, his warm breath on his ear, the soft wet kisses he was planting on Brian’s neck. Brian’s hands were balled into fists as he barely held himself in check. Once he had himself under control he gently set Justin back a foot.
“Go open your present,” Brian told the younger man.
“I went to a lot of trouble to buy your gift and wrap it up and everything,” Brian said and the blond finally sighed.
Justin walked over to the table and picked up the brightly colored package. The paper was quickly torn away and Justin found a box that was identical to the ones Brian had given him every Christmas and birthday since that first. He opened it expecting more coffee. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the coffee. He loved the coffee and he loved the fact that Brian gave him anything, that he thought of him enough to go out of his way. But Justin hadn’t come to the barn that day for coffee.
“This isn’t coffee,” Justin said stupidly as he looked at the contents of the box.
Brian smirked at him. “I can return that and get you coffee if you’d prefer.”
“No!” Justin denied vehemently and shook his head for extra emphasis. He reached into the box and pulled out one of what must be a hundred condoms along with one of three large bottles of lubricant. “I…I like this present.”
“Come here,” Brian said and soon Justin was in his arms and their lips finally met. It was the first time Brian had allowed a kiss since that very first Christmas. It was the first time he had allowed any sort of physical contact at all. And Justin had to think that it really had been worth the wait. The feel of Brian’s lips on his felt better than he remembered. Justin was much taller now, though he was still much shorter than Brian but their bodies seemed to align perfectly nonetheless.
Brian began moving them over to the sofa without ever breaking their kiss. They had both been waiting too long for this day to linger for long on the preliminaries. Brian knew that Justin had experimented with his classmates. He was quite the cocksucker, according to at least two of his past partners. But Justin had not wanted to fuck or be fucked by a schoolboy. He’d told Brian often over the past three years that when the time came, he wanted Brian to be the one to take his virginity.
Brian had never agreed, not wanting to give the kid hope when there were no guarantees that either of them would actually be around when the time came, but he had hoped. Brian had never wanted to be someone’s first. He knew that some men got off on that, but he had never seen the point. Wasn’t it better to have a partner who knew what the fuck they were doing? But everything was different with Justin. It always had been.
When Justin began tearing at their clothes, Brian backed away and chuckled. “Slow down, Sunshine. There’s no rush.”
“How can you say that?” Justin asked breathlessly. “I’ve got to get you naked before you change your mind.”
Brian laughed and kissed Justin again. “I’m not going to change my mind. Let me…let me do this for you.”
Brian was gentle as he slowly began to unbutton Justin’s shirt. Each button exposed a little more of his beautiful angel and Brian bent to kiss that bit of flesh. When Justin’s uniform shirt and tie had finally been discarded, Brian allowed his hands to roam freely over Justin’s chest, his shoulders, his abdomen. His lips soon followed a similar trail, taking a detour to suck and nip and tease at each of Justin’s nipples, making the younger man arch his back and almost lose all control of his body.
Brian chuckled and pushed Justin towards the sofa so the younger man could sit before he fell down. Brian knelt between his legs and continued to explore and torment his young lover. Justin’s hands roamed freely over Brian’s back and shoulders; his fingers carded through and grasped Brian’s hair intermittently as his body reacted to Brian’s ministrations. And when Brian tugged at Justin’s belt and finally, finally, opened Justin’s pants to release his aching cock, Justin feared he might just fly apart into a million pieces.
Brian teased the head of Justin’s cock with light strokes from his fingers before letting his hand caress the shaft. Brian looked up at Justin, their eyes meeting and locking as Brian tasted Justin for the first time, his tongue licking up the drops of pre-come that were leaking almost steadily now. He poked the tip of his tongue into his slit and Justin’s head fell back against the sofa, eyes closed as the pleasure and anticipation worked together to make him fall apart. And then Brian’s lips surrounded just the head of his cock and sucked. It was all Justin could do not to come right then. Brian seemed to recognize his dilemma and squeezed the base of his cock almost painfully until the urge had subsided.
And then Brian swallowed Justin’s cock whole and any respite was lost. Justin was panting and gasping in moments. His hands clung to Brian as he tried to keep his hips from thrusting, but when he felt his cock hit the back of Brian’s throat and the brunet swallowed around him, Justin knew he was lost. Then Brian’s hand fondled Justin’s tight balls and he was coming harder than he could ever remember coming and Brian was swallowing all of it down.
Brian climbed up onto the sofa and shared a salty kiss with Justin while the blond attempted to regain some composure.
“Why?” Justin asked when he could form a word, though a full sentence seemed beyond him still.
“So I can take my time for the rest of this,” Brian said with a wicked smirk. He pushed Justin until he was lying on his back. Brian pulled his pants off and then stood to remove his own clothes. He sat at the opposite end of the sofa, pulling Justin’s feet up so he could sit. Then he began a slow and methodical exploration of Justin’s feet and legs. Hands, lips, teeth and tongue all worked to both relax and entice Justin. He skipped past Justin’s cock, already fully recovered and interested once more in the proceedings, and went back to his belly, finding all of his ticklish spot and all those spots that made him moan with desire. Justin knew that there were things he could be doing to reciprocate, but every time he tried, Brian set his hands aside.
“If you don’t keep your hands to yourself, I’m going to get your tie and bind them,” Brian warned playfully and Justin groaned at the thought. “Oh! Does that turn you on, little boy? Maybe we’ll have to explore some of your kinks later.”
No part of Justin escaped Brian’s attention; his arms, his neck, his ears and face…even his armpits received a thorough exploration. And then Brian was encouraging Justin to roll over so he could start on the other side. Justin had never imagined that Brian would be such a gentle and generous lover, but he was making this first time something Justin would never forget as long as he lived. Every lover would be compared to this man.
Justin squirmed a bit when Brian reached his ass. The brunet took little bites from the globes and Justin felt Brian spreading his cheeks to access his hole. The first swipe of Brian’s tongue, from perineum to the small of his back, made Justin cry out in surprise and acute arousal. “Fuck!”
Brian chuckled. “Your little boyfriends never did this for you, did they?” And then Brian’s tongue was back at Justin’s puckered entrance and devouring him. Justin knew he would never survive this night alive. He was going to die from the pleasure as his heart beat right out of his chest but he didn’t care. If he had to die, this was certainly the way to do it. Brian used teasing licks and firm jabs to get Justin to relax and Justin could feel himself opening and closing spasmodically as if his body knew what his mind had known forever: that he needed to be filled by Brian.
“Please, oh fuck please, Brian!” Justin sobbed out. He couldn’t take any more. “Fuck me. Please fuck me.”
Brian’s fingers replaced his tongue as Brian reached for the lube and he was soon working the cool liquid along with two then three fingers into Justin. Every time Brian reached Justin’s prostate the teen keened and his body arched. And then Brian pulled his fingers away and rolled the condom onto his own flesh while he urged Justin onto his hands and knees.
“You sure about this Sunshine?” Brian asked, praying that Justin would say yes, because he wasn’t sure he could survive if he said no.
“Yes! Fuck me Brian!” Justin demanded.
Brian grinned and slowly breached Justin. The younger man tensed with the initial pain and Brian whispered soothing words into his ear, his body curled around Justin’s as he used every ounce of self control to keep from plunging into that tight heat. Slowly he felt Justin relax again and he began slowly rocking in and out, going just a little deeper each time until he was fully seated.
“You okay?” Brian asked
Justin nodded and smiled over his shoulder at Brian. “So good. So full. Fuck me.”
Brian nodded and pulled out a little before thrusting back in. It was an easy pace to start with, but neither of them were able to fight off the need that had been growing—since the first time they had met, really. Soon they were both moving in sync with each other, pushing to go just a little faster to thrust just a little harder, to reach just a little deeper. And when Brian took Justin’s cock in hand, they both knew it wouldn’t be long before their orgasms hit. Justin came first, crying out his release to the world as the muscles in his ass contracted around Brian’s invading member. Brian didn’t have a choice but to follow him them. The feel, the sound, the smell of Justin coming below him hit him like gasoline on a fire.
Brian lit a joint and the two lovers reclined back to chest and shared the pungent smoke. “I can’t be your boyfriend.”
Justin huffed. He knew that, but it still hurt as much as it had the first time Brian had said it. “I know.”
“I mean, I’m leaving for my new job soon,” Brian said, trying to justify why they couldn’t commit to each other. “And you’re graduating.”
“And I leave for Europe for two months before I start at Columbia this fall,” Justin said. “I know, Brian.”
Brian nodded to himself, but he felt like shit. “But we have a couple months.”
Justin smiled and passed the joint to Brian. “I fully intend on taking advantage of those months.” They were both quiet for a time as they smoked the rest of the joint. Eventually Justin picked up Brian’s hand and began to play with it. “I feel like we just keep getting the timing all wrong. Like fate or destiny or whatever somehow brought us together at the wrong time. First I’m too young, now…we’re going in different directions. Will we ever get it right?”
Brian tightened his hold on Justin and kissed the top of his head. “I think we will. I hope we will. But I’ve always believed that whether we see each other next weekend, next month or never again, it doesn’t matter. It’s only time. At least we have right now.”
Justin thought about that and it made him sad. He wanted a guarantee, but he knew Brian wouldn’t give him that. Brian never made promises he wasn’t sure he could keep. “And time means very little in the grand scheme of things.”
Justin knew that the love he felt for Brian was stronger than time or distance or any of the obstacles that life might throw between them. Brian may not be able to make promises, but Justin could. Silently he promised them both that when they said goodbye, it would not be the end. There was more to their story and it would be told.
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven,” Justin whispered. Their season just hadn’t come yet.
But until then…
“So, are you going to fuck me again?” Justin asked with a teasing lilt in his voice. “If so, you should get to it. My time is limited. I have to be back in the dorm before curfew.”
“Little shit,” Brian muttered as he pinched Justin’s ass, making the younger man jump. But then Brian was soothing the hurt away with soothing strokes and nothing else seemed to matter.