Brian isn’t what one would call “friendly.” He’s bossy, moody and sometimes downright mean. Justin doesn’t care. He wants to make Brian his anyway. And not just because Brian is gorgeous and great in bed. Brian is smart. He also says and does what he wants. Justin admires that. He wants to say and do what he wants, too, someday. Being around Brian will teach him how to be strong, how to be independent. How to be a proud gay man. The only question is: does Brian want him around? Justin thinks he does even though he’ll never say it.
“C’mere. I won’t bite,” Brian says, but Justin holds back. Now that it comes down to it, he’s not sure he wants to have sex after all. Brian’s dick . . . well, it’s really big. Something that big probably shouldn’t be in . . . there.
“Can we just, I don’t know, kiss or something?” Justin asks because he’s the biggest weirdo who ever lived.
“We can do whatever you want,” Brian replies. “But I thought you said you wanted to get laid.” Justin nods. He does. He really really does. “Then don’t worry,” Brian says. “I’ll go slow.”
They lean against the Jeep, making out like crazy before they get in. “Put on your seatbelt,” Brian says as they leave Babylon’s parking lot. “For that matter, put on your shirt. It’s fucking September, not mid-fucking-July.” But Justin can’t. He’d given it to Daphne when he’d decided to steal Brian away from those two tricks he’d picked up.
“Here,” Brian says, taking off his jacket. “Wear this.” The leather is really soft and obviously expensive. “Thanks,” Justin says. The silk liner is cool against his sweaty skin as he pulls it on. “Why? I’m not giving it to you,” Brian replies.
“You bought condoms?” Brian says. “Why the hell did you buy condoms? Haven’t you seen that bowl on my bedside table? Haven’t you seen the stash by the couch?” Justin is surprised. He thought he was doing something nice, something sexy. After all, they always use Brian’s condoms; shouldn’t Justin contribute? “What’s wrong with them?” he asks when Brian chucks them in the trash. “They’re not lubed,” Brian says. “I only use lubed condoms, especially with you.” Justin frowns. Why should he be different from Brian’s tricks? Brian shrugs. “I want to make sure I don’t hurt you,” he says.
Justin doesn’t know why, but the bouncers at Babylon stop asking for ID and wave Justin through the door even though everyone else is getting turned away. The same thing happens at Woody’s. The bartender stops checking his driver’s license. Does it have something to do with Brian? Did Brian tell the bouncers to always let “the blond kid” in? Did Brian tell the bartender to always let the “blond kid” buy a beer (no hard liquor, just beer)? Justin can’t come up with any other explanation. He wants to ask Brian about it, but senses that’s a bad idea.
Brian starts letting Justin hang out with him and his friends. Justin can tell Michael doesn’t approve. Brian doesn’t seem to give a shit. Justin suspects that’s a Big Deal. Michael is Brian’s best friend. They’re practically attached at the hip. Brian also doesn’t make it a secret that he’s taking Justin back to the loft every night Justin goes out with them. He even kisses Justin in public. Justin knows it’s out-of-character when he overhears Michael say to Ted and Emmett that he can’t believe Brian is being so open about having sex with a “trick” more than once.
“Get up!” Brian says, yanking Justin’s blankets off. “You need to get to school early so you can finish your research paper on squids or whatever the fuck it’s about.” Justin turns over and stuffs his face in the cushions. Brian had made him sleep on the couch. It wasn’t fair. How can Brian have sex with him one night and then refuse to even kiss him on the next? “It’s not about squids,” he says petulantly. “It’s about Sam and John Adams.” Brian throws his uniform at him. Justin considers himself lucky that Brian hadn’t also thrown his shoes.
Brian picks Justin up at school. Brian has never picked him up at school before. “Get in!” he snaps, confusing the bullies. Who is this guy in an expensive suit who obviously isn’t a parent? Justin is embarrassed that Brian saw him being tormented. To his relief, Brian doesn’t mention it. “Where are we going?” Justin asks. When they arrive at his house, he realizes the answer. Brian’s trying to get rid of him. He’s a burden, nothing but a stupid kid. Justin feels defeated but then Brian stands up to his homophobic dad. “Justin, are you coming?” he asks.
Justin opens the fridge, looking for a bottle of water. He’s so thirsty, he’ll even drink that nasty guava juice Brian likes. But what does he see? A huge bottle of Mountain Dew. Brian hates soda, which can only mean one thing. He’d bought it for Justin! Justin is so happy that it takes him a moment to realize that Brian had also bought string cheese. Justin thinks Brian wouldn’t eat string cheese even if he was on a desert island dying from starvation. Has Brian ever bought soda and snacks for one of his tricks? Justin highly doubts it.
They’re at Woody’s on a Saturday night. “Hell no, I won’t buy you another drink, you little twat.” Brian is an asshole; he’s buying Michael and Ted their fourth beers; Emmett his third cocktail, and Justin a Coke. “Shut up,” Michael says when Justin complains. “Isn’t it obvious? He doesn’t want you getting drunk.” Why? He’s well on his way to getting hammered. “I’m also not seventeen,” Brian says. What a dick. “Don’t try to tell me you weren’t getting sloshed when you were seventeen,” Justin says. Brian swallows half his beer in one swig. “I won’t,” he says cryptically.
Justin can’t find his plaid shirt. Where the hell is it? He knows he’d left it at the loft two nights ago. “Don’t have a conniption,” Brian says (whatever that means). “Marie took our laundry to be washed yesterday.” Justin hugs him and ignores his grousing about wrinkling his suit. He’d said “our laundry.” That can only mean one thing – they’re a couple! Only couples call each other’s laundry “our laundry.” “What about my black socks?” Justin asks. “She took them too,” Brian replies. “Thank you,” Justin says kissing him. “For what?” Brian asks. “They were stinking up the place.”
Brian is a shithead! How can he throw Justin out knowing he has no place to go? So, Justin forgot to set the alarm and Brian had some things stolen? He has insurance. He can buy new stuff. Justin knew he fucked-up, but did he deserve to be treated like a piece of garbage? But then Brian comes to New York to find him and bring him home. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t feel bad, if he didn’t care. They have really intense sex. Brian tears the first condom because he puts it on too rough, too fast.
Deb sits Justin down and gives him a lecture about Brian. She tells him she loves Brian like a son but thinks that Brian is a bad influence. She says Brian shouldn’t be buying a seventeen-year-old alcohol and keeping him up on school nights. Justin tells Brian expecting him to laugh. He doesn’t. Instead, he gets really quiet. “She’s right,” he says. “I shouldn’t be fucking you.” He stays away for a while, but then he comes to the diner one night when Deb’s not there. He leaves a twenty as a tip on which he’s written, “my place, eight-thirty.”
Brian dances with Michael and Justin at Babylon. At first, he danced more with Michael, but now he dances more with Justin. Sometimes they dance super close and make-out. Brian is a really good kisser. He makes Justin hard in a nanosecond. Justin is embarrassed, but then Brian gets hard too. Brian is never embarrassed by anything. Sometimes he even opens his jeans and puts Justin’s hand in them, right there on the dance floor! Justin has watched Brian dance with tricks, but he never dances with them more than once, and they never put their hands down his pants.
Sometimes when Justin is working at the diner, Brian comes in without his friends, and sometimes, when Justin walks by his stool at the counter, Brian grabs his wrist and pulls him close for a kiss right there in front of everyone! It’s always a real kiss with tongue and all. Brian also leaves huge tips triple the amount his meal costs. Once he told Justin to go out back for his lunch break. When he did, Justin saw Brian parked in the lot, sitting in his Jeep. Justin blew him and then Brian fucked him, making Justin come twice.
Brian smiles and talks to him when they occasionally eat dinner together. It makes Justin feel like they’re a real couple. He starts getting cookbooks from the library and testing recipes on Debbie and Vic, who both complain that he’s going to make them fat. He starts using up almost all of his salary on ingredients for his meals. It’s worth it though. Justin lights candles and sets the table. Brian opens a bottle of wine and talks about his day at work and then he asks Justin about his day at school. They laugh at each other’s funny stories.
It’s S.A.T time! Brian grills Justin on vocabulary and geometry while they’re shaving, while they’re in the car, while Justin cooks dinner, while Brian is waiting his turn at the pool table. “Insouciant?” “Nongermane?” “What is an ‘Isosceles Triangle’?” When Justin gets 1400, he knows it’s partly thanks to Brian. He applies to several Ivy League schools, trying hard not to imagine what life will be like without Brian. Brian seems to have the same difficulty; when Justin tells him about Dartmouth and Brown, Brian remarks that they’re all out-of-state. Speaking before he thinks – how often does Brian do that?
Brian asks Justin to babysit Gus, which is a really Big Deal. Brian is going to something at Babylon. Justin doesn’t know what; all he knows is that Brian looks hot in leather pants. Justin hopes Brian will let him admire them more thoroughly when he gets home. Things do not go as hoped though. Mel comes over and finds Justin about to give Gus milk that’s a little too warm. She yells at Brian for leaving Gus with “anyone.” Brian replies angrily that Justin “is not just anyone.” Justin smiles. He remembers when Brian told him he was nobody.
On his eighteenth birthday, Brian hands Justin an envelope. “Don’t be stupid or I’ll cut it up,” he says. What is it?? It’s a credit card. “Don’t get too excited,” Brian says. “There’s a one-thousand dollar limit.” Justin throws himself at Brian, expecting Brian to catch him in his arms. Brian steps out of the way, and Justin ends up sprawled on the couch. “Oh, by the way,” Brian says, walking to the bedroom as though he hadn’t just endangered Justin’s life and limbs. “That box on the island is a cell phone. Go over your minutes at your peril.”
Brian’s dad dies. Justin is crushed when Brian tells him he doesn’t want him to attend the funeral. He doesn’t cry, but Brian can tell he’s upset. Justin braces himself for mockery, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Brian takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom. At first, Justin thinks they’re going have sex, which would be weird, but then Brian lies down with all his clothes on. Justin joins him, and Brian moves so that his back faces Justin, signaling he wants to be held, that he needs comforting. He sighs when Justin puts his arms around him.
Justin doesn’t need Brian to come to his aid, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t notice how Brian stiffened when Hobbs took on a threatening posture. And he definitely noticed when Brian shouldered him out of the way, instinctively getting between Justin and danger. Brian would protect him. Justin has always suspected that Brian would fight to the death to protect his friends, but him? Wasn’t Justin “nobody”? Justin feels elated, but then Brian says something he hadn’t expected. Congratulations, he says. You just made yourself a real enemy. He sounds upset. Justin doesn’t understand why. He will later though.
Justin knows a lot about sex – as in a lot. Brian is teaching him everything he knows. How to fuck, rim and give flawless blowjobs. He’s even taught Justin some weird stuff like figging and snowballing. Most of the time Brian lets him try stuff, but sometimes the act is too advanced like sounding (putting a rod in your dick) and fisting (putting your hand in someone’s ass). Justin’s okay with that; sounding and fisting freak him out. Brian would never pressure him to do anything he didn’t want to do; he wants Justin to be safe and have fun.
Brian writhes with discomfort when Justin takes the stage in the King of Babylon contest. He’s jealous. It’s obvious. He doesn’t want other guys getting hard-ons watching Justin dance. When Justin steals his trick, Brian calls after him, saying he thought they were going home together. That’s news to Justin. Just a half an hour ago, Brian made it clear that Justin was his backup plan. Ha Ha! The next morning at the diner, Justin watches Brian writhe with jealousy again when Justin starts telling him and the boys about the awesome night he’d had. “That’s enough,” Brian says, scowling.
Brian loves touching people, be they, friends or strangers. He’s a very tactile person. He hugs and kisses Michael; he throws his arms around Ted’s and Emmett’s shoulders, he sucks cock and rims assholes, but Justin is the only one he nuzzles. At first, he did it solely when he was really drunk. Then he started doing it when he was only a little drunk. Now he does it whenever he feels like it. Justin was shocked to discover he isn’t always thrilled with the invasion of his personal space. Sometimes he even pushes Brian away. Brian deliberately ignores him.
Brian is NOT happy about the surprise “Death Day Party.” He’d warned them not to do anything, but no one foresaw how upset and angry he’d get. Justin was stunned when Brian climbed in the coffin and stayed there all morning. When it became clear that he wasn’t coming out, everyone left. Everyone except Justin that is. He waited in the lobby for a while, and then went back in the party room. Brian was sitting up in the coffin, staring miserably at the wall. Justin cut him a piece of cake. Brian took a bite and smiled at him.
Is it just his imagination or did Brian pause for a second after Justin invited him to his prom? Of course, he’d said no and made a snarky remark, but Justin had seen something in his eyes – just a flicker of maybe. Later Brian teases Justin again, asking him what color dress Justin would wear, speculating it would probably be peach to go with Justin’s blond hair. Justin laughs along with him but considers it a kind of victory that Brian is still thinking about the whole thing. Who knows? Maybe Brian will turn up and surprise him. Surprise everyone.
Daphne shakes his arm and points. Justin thinks he’s hallucinating. That can’t be Brian standing there! Of course, it can’t be Brian. The real Brian would never look so uncertain, so vulnerable. But it is Brian. Justin is stunned when Brian takes his hand and leads him to the dance floor, and he’s even more astonished when Brian pulls him close. People move back, giving them the spotlight. He and Brian are beautiful together. He knows they are because he feels beautiful. They laugh and dance and then, at the end, they kiss – a real kiss. A deep, romantic kiss.
Brian grabs his hand and the crowd parts to let them through. They run through the lobby, laughing, not caring whom they shock. In the stairwell to the parking garage, Brain puts his arms around Justin and kisses him again and again. That’s when Justin realizes it – as clear as a cloudless day, he realizes that Brian is in love with him and he’s in love with Brian and they’re in love together. Brian kisses him again and then the next thing Justin knows they’re dancing in the gloom of the parking garage laughing like kids, happy, blameless and free.