Brian might have a lot of zeros on his credit card bills, but he doesn’t in bed. Is he in some kind of competition with Michael as to who can give their partner more multiple orgasms? Actually, scratch that. Justin would prefer not to picture Michael and Ben sucking and fucking into the wee hours. Ugh. All he cares about is that coming twice in one session is no longer Brian’s goal; he’s aiming for more these days. By dawn, Justin’s having dry orgasms, which is pretty impressive given that he’s still only nineteen. Teenagers are bottomless founts of jizz.



“Hi, honey,” Brian chirps. Justin bites his lip to keep from laughing. He’s teasing and/or putting on a show for Justin’s mom who’s looking around the loft assessing an asking price. Which, by the way, is news to Justin. Brian is selling the loft? He can’t! The loft is where they made love for the first time. When Justin says so, Brian’s only response is that it wasn’t “love” – it was a rim job and a sound fucking. Justin has to bite his lip again. Brian sure remembers a lot for someone who’d claimed he couldn’t even remember his name.



This year, Brian gets Justin a birthday present. It’s not “traditional,” but it’s downright sweet. Brian bought himself an eight-week massage course. He takes Justin out to dinner at a restaurant with super hot waiters and then gives him the body rub of a lifetime, starting with his scalp and going all the way down to his toes. By the end, Justin isn’t sure he still has bones, and when Brian fucks him, he goes someplace mystical in his head. Brian’s chuckling when he comes to. Justin gives him a big dopey grin. “You’re welcome,” Brian says and kisses him.



Justin assured Brian when they got back together that he knew Brian was going to keep tricking and he was okay with that. To prove it, Justin tells him after the charity benefit for “Concerned Citizens for the Truth” that now half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly in their beds knowing the loft still belongs to Brian Kinney. Justin expects him to say something along the lines of “well, I won’t let them sleep for long,” but he doesn’t. Instead, he says screw them. There’s only one person he wants in his bed, and that one person is Justin.



Justin overhears Brian tell his headhunter that he doesn’t want the low-paying job she found for him. He even tells her he’s taking another position (ha ha). Justin can’t believe it, but Brian replies that it’s okay; he still wants to start his own agency. The idea makes Justin nervous. Hadn’t Brian’s former clients turned him down? Brian could end up destitute even with the money donated to Concerned Citizens for the Truth. Brian says he’s ready to take on the challenge. Hell, what’s yet another crazy gamble? Justin suspects one of the other “crazy gambles” was falling in love.



Brian has done it again. He has hired Justin’s mom. Justin couldn’t be happier. And he couldn’t be more surprised. His mom just got her real estate agent’s license. She has no contacts, no inside scoops, no experience. Brian doesn’t hire unproven neophytes, especially not when it comes to something as important as finding office space for his new business. Yes, Justin knows his mom has real potential, but as of yet, that potential is unproven. He wants to ask Brian why he’s doing it, but then again, doesn’t he already know? This isn’t about his mom; it’s about him.



“Brian, will you please talk some sense into him?” Justin is angry. He’s not a kid, and Brian’s not his dad. “Now, now, Mother Taylor,” Brian says. “Justin’s a big boy. He should be allowed to make his own mistakes.” Grrr. Okay, so Brian didn’t grant his mom’s patronizing request, but obviously, he thinks Justin is being stupid. Brian’s probably going to give him a lecture after his mom leaves. Justin rolls up his metaphorical sleeves, ready for a fight. But all Brian says is that his haircut looks hot and kisses him. No lecture. Brian respects him too much.



Damn. It was too good to be true. Brian really is going to give him shit about the Pink Posse. Justin storms down the stairs. He’s already late. Cody and the gang are waiting for him. God, is he Brian’s lover or his wayward “sonny-boy”? Later, he bitches about it to Daphne. “Can’t you see?” she says. “He cares about you. He doesn’t want you to get hurt again.” Justin glares at her. Why is she always taking Brian’s side? “Because I’m right,” she says. “And you’re blind if you can’t see it. He loves you, Justin. He always has.”



Justin suspects Brian is jealous of Cody. Should he be? Justin can’t deny it; he is attracted to the passionate vigilante. But Cody’s not another Ethan, and Justin doesn’t want Brian to think he is. When Cody kisses him, Justin knows he shouldn’t take a shower before he and Brian have sex, but he really wants to. Fortunately, Brian isn’t home when Justin gets back to the loft. He can shower without Brian knowing, but then Brian comes home. When he sees Justin’s wet hair, he looks hurt, frightened. He grabs his jacket and leaves, slamming the door behind him.



Justin removes his belt and wraps it around Brian’s neck. Brian’s only response is an arched eyebrow even though he knows what Justin wants to do – that he wants to stop Brian’s breathing. Justin is shocked. He’d thought for sure that Brian would say no, especially after last night. It takes a lot of trust to let someone play with your breath, and Justin wasn’t sure that Brian could let himself go so completely, to the extent where his actual life is at stake. Justin tightens the noose. Brian closes his eyes and tips back his head, baring his throat.



Brian notices the bruise on his back and gives Justin a load of crap about it. What the hell? Justin’s standing up for gay rights. He’s not just sitting back being a pussy. So he has one stupid bruise? Those straight motherfuckers have more than that after he and the gang got through with them! He walks down the street angrily. Why is Brian being such a dick about everything? Justin would’ve thought he’d be proud of him for being a badass. But then an image of Brian bruised and beaten pops into his head, and suddenly he gets it.



The last time Justin had been in the Everhard bathhouse, it’d been no towel night, and everyone and their cousin had tried to touch Brian’s dick (as Brian reminded him as he gave Justin a tour of Kinnetik’s new offices). Justin also remembers something else. Despite all the attention he got, the only guy Brian fucked that night was him. Brian could’ve had anyone, but he wanted Justin. It was surprising given that they’d fucked before they went out – twice. It’d been a first. Up until that night, Brian had always fucked someone else when they went to the baths.



“You hired Ted?” Justin is astonished. Brian shrugs. “Why not? He’s a good accountant – at least he’d better be for his sake. I would’ve hired you, but you have other plans.” Justin combs his fingers through Brian’s sweat-damp hair. “I do?” he says. Brian frowns. “Of course, you do,” he says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Justin rolls onto his back and closes his eyes with a sigh. It’s like Brian can read his mind. Lately, he’d been worrying about his future. “Yeah,” Brian says. “You’re going to be a famous animator for blockbuster movies.”



“Why the hell was your phone off all day?” Justin blinks. Brian had been calling him? “What’s up?” he asks, concerned. Brian pulls a beer out of the fridge. “Nothing’s ‘up,’” he says. “I just . . .” His words peter out. He takes a swig. Justin doesn’t press him. If nothing was up, that could mean only one thing. Brian just wanted to chat. He watches Brian take another swig and then stare into the middle distance. “Still hanging out with Cody?” When Justin doesn’t answer, he downs the rest of the beer and goes to the bedroom to change.



Brian goes down on him in the backroom. It is a HUGE big deal. Brian has never mentioned going down on a trick in public before – maybe it happened when he was much younger, but certainly not in recent memory. Justin’s pretty sure Brian is relieved when he comes quickly because people are watching them. A lot of people and they’re hooting and cheering! Brian doesn’t seem embarrassed though. He sucks Justin’s cock the way he does at home, fondling his balls and deep-throating until he almost gags. When Justin starts to thrust, Brian even hums his appreciation and encouragement.



Brian finds the gun Cody gave him. This time the lecture is anything but subtle. Justin’s pissed. Not only is Brian giving him shit about something that’s important to him, he went through Justin’s things quote/unquote “looking for a light.” In other words, Brian was snooping. Jesus Christ, couldn’t he have even a little bit of privacy? And Brian of all people! Brian, for whom his business is his business. Couldn’t he extend the same philosophy to his partner? Does he respect Justin so little? Justin grabs the gun and storms out of the loft. Brian had crossed a line.



“You had no right to go to Brian!” Justin yells at Daphne. “What other choice did I have?” Daphne yells back. “To stay out of it?” “Well, that wasn’t an option.” Justin flops down on the couch. “So, what he’d say?” he asks with resignation. “Did you two bond over what an irresponsible twat I am?” Daphne sits down beside him. “No, actually. He took your side.” Justin looks at her wide-eyed. “He did? I thought he hated the whole Pink Posse thing.” “He does,” Daphne says. “But he also admires you for standing up for yourself, for fighting back.”



“I love you,” Justin shouts over the music, wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck. He’s tracked Brian down to Babylon. Just an hour ago, he’d almost shot a man, now he’s back where he belongs, celebrating being gay instead of hating people who aren’t. Like Brian said, the best revenge is to be a success. Brian kisses him. He tastes like whiskey. When he nearly trips over his own feet, Justin realizes he’s drunk. Brian only gets drunk when he’s trying to escape something. He’d been terrified. Justin kisses him in return. “It’s okay,” he says. “The Pink Posse’s history.”



Justin’s heart sinks. Why did Brian invite Lindsay on stage and not him? Please, he thinks. Please tell me it’s not because he’s pretending to be straight for the benefit of his wealthy clients. But then Brian nods at him – yes, he’d called Justin a “friend,” but at least he’d given Justin a chance to stand beside him. That’s enough, right? It wasn’t like Brian was going to hold up his glass and thank his “partner.” But then suddenly Brian is kissing him. In front of everyone. Justin’s heart soars. For all intents and purposes, they had just gotten married!



“So,” Brian says. “I’ve been thinking.” He takes a drag on their post-coital joint. “Sounds ominous,” Justin replies. “Depends on how you look at it,” Brian says. “One could call it ‘ominous,’ another could call it momentous.” Justin nudges him. “Out with it,” he says. “I want to fuck again.” Brian laughs. “Not a bad segue.” Justin arches an eyebrow. “I’ve been thinking,” Brian says again. “About cutting back on tricking.” Justin arches his other eyebrow. “How much?” he asks, curious. “To once a week,” Brian replies with a shrug as if what he’d just said is no big deal.



Brian appears anything but thrilled when Justin tells him that Bret Keller wants to make “Rage” into a movie. Justin is disappointed. He’d been sure Brian would be proud of him, but, no, Brian doesn’t even want to go out to celebrate! Instead, he mentions finishing school, and the bell goes off in Justin’s head. Right. Brian’s worried about his “investment.” Justin goes home and sits on the couch channel surfing. Why is Brian so damn adamant about finishing school when Justin has an opportunity to go to Hollywood? Justin’s finger freezes mid-click. Maybe he’d just answered his own question.



“By the way, I missed you,” Brian says. Justin merely looks at him. Yeah, right. Whatever. Brian had taken off to Ibiza with no explanation and a meager “good-bye.” They were supposed to have gone together, but Brian had gone by himself. “Prove it,” Justin says, and Brian kisses him. Justin decides to press for more, and Brian kisses him again. When Justin still says that he’s not convinced, Brian doesn’t get pissed and tell him to fuck off; instead, he kisses Justin passionately. Brian really did miss him after all! Justin forgives him. Brian had almost said, “I love you.”



Brian has cancer, and Justin has decided not to let on that he knows. It’s fucking hard as hell. Brian is obviously weak and tired. They go to Babylon anyway because Justin can’t insist that they don’t. Brian looks terrible. Justin knows they need to go home. But what can he say? He can’t just say “you’re too ill for this; let’s go home.” So he tells Brian he doesn’t feel well and wants Brian to come home with him. Brian does. Not that long ago, Brian never would’ve left Babylon if Justin was sick. Now he goes without protest.



Brian lets Justin take care of him. Justin knows it’s not easy for him, so he tries to be as nonchalant about it as possible. Brian lets Justin shop and make meals. He lets Justin drive him back and forth to work. He lets Justin rub his back while he pukes and dab away the sweat with a damp washcloth. He even lets Justin tell him that he looks exhausted and that it’s time to go to bed. It’s a really really big deal. Brian is letting himself be vulnerable and even needy. He knows Justin won’t tell anyone.



Brian can’t get it up, but that doesn’t stop him from going down on Justin. He’s frustrated, but he doesn’t lash out. Justin’s pleasure is as important to him as his own, and he sucks Justin off every night. The blowjobs are good – even better than usual, which is saying something, and Justin comes hard and often even twice. Brian is not happy that he can’t also have an orgasm, but he glows when he gives Justin one. He’s not selfish in his anger. He wants to make up for his inability to have penetrative sex. It’s romantic as hell.



Justin is at Babylon. Brian had called from work and told Justin to meet him there because he has a “big surprise.” Sure enough, he does! A big hard surprise. “Have you been with anyone yet?” Justin asks. Brian looks at him like he’s insane. “Of course not,” he replies. “I haven’t even jerked-off.” They go to the backroom. Justin’s mouth is literally watering in anticipation of having Brian’s cock in his mouth again. He fumbles with Brian’s belt, which makes them both laugh. Justin makes him come twice to the cheers (and orgasmic groans) of onlookers. Brian kisses him.



They have real dates now, not just the baths or take-out Thai and DVDs. Every week, Brian tells Justin to choose a restaurant that he wants to go, and then Brian takes him there. Sometimes they visit an art gallery afterward. A couple times they even go to the movies! If the weather’s nice, they go for long walks and talk about all kinds of stuff. Brian even opens up about his past – not a lot, but more than he ever has before. He asks Justin questions, which is also a relatively new development. Justin feels like they’re a couple.



Brian is losing his mind. He comes rubbing against pillows. He jerks off in the shower. He has to. If he doesn’t, he won’t come at all. Justin is withholding sex. He’ll let Brian kiss him, but he won’t do anything more. Why? Because Justin wants Brian to donate his beloved $2,000 Barcelona sofa to the hospice. Brian had, of course, refused, so Justin is withholding sex. Brian is sexually frustrated as hell, but he doesn’t resort to tricking. It’s sex with Justin or no one. Justin is astonished. When Brian finally donates the sofa, he fucks Justin into the mattress.



Brian’s not going on the Liberty Ride. He says he’s not in shape, which is bullshit. He’s been working out every day. He’ll be fine. More than fine. So, why all of a sudden is he not going? Justin thinks he knows why. They had planned on doing it together, but since then an invitation to go Hollywood has arisen. Justin suspects Brian wants him to go, so he’s ensuring that he will by not doing the ride. Bastard. Why does he always do shit like this? Why is he always putting Justin’s future ahead of their relationship? It hurts.



“I want you to move back in.” Justin blinks. Had Brian just said what he thought he’d said? “Huh?” “I said I’d like it if you and I were to live together.” Justin blinks again. He’d been waiting for forever to hear those words. Brian, of course, makes light of it by talking about socks and the inconvenience of Justin being away part of the time. But then he gets serious. “And for the times when you’re not around, I wouldn’t particularly mind it if you were. So, then what do you say? Should I make room in my drawers?”