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They decided to spend the whole day in Ísafjörður, Valur had promised to show them around the town and they certainly needed to plan their hike in the Horny Coasts as Brian preferred to call Hornstrandir.
Hence, their first stop of the day was with the boat company that would take them way up and beyond the northernmost peninsula and into the remote creek of Hornvík which took it's name by the magnificent bird rock Hornbjarg. The tour planner a middle aged woman whose facial expression looked like she did not have enough passion in her life, asked them about their plans and the facts that the had none made her a bit defensive.
"I must stress that hiking in Hornstrandir is not easy. The area is very remote and only reachable by boat AND there is no electricity and no internet. That means you can not call for a chopper pick up if you get in trouble, you need to walk out of it and that takes two days for the shortest route. We sail there only every 3 days or so, so you can't change your mind and go back in the evening if you don't like it. I don't mean to be rude, you both look like you are in great shape and I'm sure you can take it on physically, but most people plan this trip for weeks. The hiking paths up there are really just old sheep trails and if you take the wrong one you might end up in unsurpassable vertical bird cliffs that take you straight to the afterlife if you fall down. Did I offend you enough yet?
"No, I understand that it's your job to prevent unable people to head straight for trouble and I can totally see why two American fags would not seem like the best crew to send out in the wilderness. When my boytoy suggested we'd go I was like ‘HELL NO!!’ But he really wants to go and I have not learned how to say no to him yet" Brian said sarcastically in his best pretentious voice."
The woman tried to hide her smile, and actually did a good job. "Aye... Americans, good thing you are gay, at least there is one thing to like about you then.” This time she smiled a little and tapped her pen against the counter annoyingly. “So I guess I can't interest you in a trip to Hesteyri instead, It's just an hour by boat and is a much better choice for a first time trip to the area. They have a Bed and Breakfast accommodation and a restaurant during the day and we sail there twice every day.
"We can do the big one, I’m super smart and he's a superhero. He once rode a bicycle several hundred miles with a broken collarbone" Justin cut in just then.
"We'll then, now that I tried to scare you away we can start with the practical issues," she said and reached for a print out of necessary equipment for such a tour. You will be carrying everything, there are no trash bins and you will be fined if you get caught leaving non biodegradable trash in the area. The birds and fox will eat leftover food if you have any but I strongly advice to repack food wisely, you do not want to be carrying cans and large plastic containers around. You don’t need to bring water, there is plenty of clean water in the area.
Within 20 minutes the two men had booked themselves to a one way boat trip to Hornvík and 5 days later a boat back from Hesteyri the location the tour planner had suggested initially which was located a 2 days hike from Hornvík. The boat would leave the next morning at 10am.
Studying the list they had received from the tour planner, they realized however that they did not need much. They had already planned to hike in the French alps and had therefore basic hiking clothes and emergency items. Adding to the warm clothes they had bought in Reykjavík they really only needed the camping gear which they would borrow from Valur and Björn. And a second set of warm underwear and some more hiking socks in case the set they had got wet or smelly. They did not want to carry too much on their backs either. So it was mostly food they needed and they figured the would go food shopping later in the day.
At 11 Valur met up with them and they walked around parts of the center they had not already seen until it was time lunch. Björn had gone on his daily polar bear air-patrol and could not join them. Brian and Justin told him about the almost rude woman they had met.
"Oh yeah, she's a tough cooky, her husband is an alcoholic bastard who get’s them in financial trouble more than most people could handle, add to that, last year their son died, accident at sea. And if that was not enough for her to deal with their tour company has been criticized for sending ill prepared people hiking in Hornstrandir. An American couple is suing them for neglect because they got lost last month in the area you are going to and almost died. It was Björn who spotted them from his plane and could direct the rescuers to pick them up.
"So... but we are going to fine right?" Justin asked, he knew Brian was thinking the same and someone needed to ask.
"Yeah, you will have good equipment, we'll see to that, and you won't do something stupid like insisting on hiking in bad weather. Those people went to Hornstrandir way in the beginning of the season, and did not listen to the park ranger and took off in fog thick enough to cut through with a knife because they only had two days to finish their hike. Then it turned out they did not even know how to use their compass. They forgot to subtract the magnetic declination and headed 20° off direction. NOW that is a lot even in easy terrain and good weather. Of course they lost their trail and ended up on a rocky edge where they could neither get back or forth. They sat there with near hypothermia for 2 whole day literally shitting their pants until the fog lifted and Björn spotted them. They are not gonna win their case of course but poor Helga is taking it personally.
During lunch Valur told them a bit more about their life here in the far north. Under normal circumstances, when there was no volcano messing with the flights he would spend a lot of time up here in the summer and only work one or two weeks every month with Icelandair and then stay in Isafjörður working with Björn since it was their busiest time. During winter he would fly a lot more and only have one week off every month. In turn Björn would come to Reykjavik most of those weeks and stay with him at an small apartment they had there and sometimes in the winter they would take more time off and travel to warmer destinations. This way they got to see more of each other and had more balance in their relationship. And of course there was some more active cultural life in the capital. When the topic of money came up he revealed that they were definitely comfortable financially, since Valur bought pretty much anything they needed tax and duty free and much of rest they were able to write of for the tour company. They owned the airplane, their car and both of their apartments mortgage free so the were not slaves to the banks like most Icelanders.
He would not deny it though sometimes he missed the ridiculous tips from his years on first class with The Emirates but some of the connections he made were still very valid he would receive expensive presents and during the winter they would spend time in the middle east and in nothing less than palaces owned by men who still were convinced that they owed him something.
“In the beginning Björn had a difficult time accepting the fact that I had such friends who would send me a diamond adorned rolex watch or the latest iPhones for my birthday. When I told my friends I had a boyfriend now who felt threatened by their presents, one of them showed up in a private jet to explain. He told Björn money was not an issue for him. That we had without doubt bought oil from his company for thousand a times more than he was spending on a silly little watch. And that I had saved his life and if it was not for me he would have killed himself… well I guess I did... all I did was… well you know… anyway he asked Björn to take him flying all over Iceland. He then asked to pay down his airplane and in return when our business would be doing well that we would pay it forward to someone who needed help.”
“Björn is such a genuinely sweet guy though, He was a bit crazy when he was younger he was not happy and got in a lot of fights, that’s how he lost most of his teeth. Sometimes still he is a bit difficult that’s why I started calling him ísbjörn (polarbear). His friends call him him Bangsi… it means Teddy.”
When they were done eating a calorie bomb Brian would never have agreed on if not for the fact that he was boosting up for the tough days to come, Valur showed them around the harbor and the old town where they had not walked the evening before. He then suggested since they were going hiking that they might want woolen sweaters. He offered to take them to see one of the local knitters. Before the trip Brian had joked about that he was not interested in a woolen sweater but Valur insisted that those were lifesavers when sleeping in tents near the Arctic Circle.
“We know this woman well, she's in fact Björn's aunt and she is one of the best knitters in town, in fact we sell her stuff at his tour company. She's a special woman, and she's caused herself a lot of grief in her lifetime, people say she's a bit nuts. I'm sure if she was a child today she would be diagnosed with autism or something like it. But she's a very kind person. She says she has a direct line to other worldly beings and sometimes I think she’s not just making that up. She’s the one who told Björn to cut his shit back when he was pretending to be a straight married seaman. Then again… I could have told him that and I’m no elv whisperer….” both Brian and Justin couldn’t help laughing at his monologue which came with a lot of hand gestures and facial expressions.
The older woman probably in her seventies introduced herself as Alla Magga, “short for Álfheiður Margrét, but no foreigner can say that“ she added, welcomed them into her house and the first thing they noticed was the smell, it was a mixture of cigarettes, very potent fish and cat piss, there were at least 4 cats in the small house.
"I'm boiling aged fish," she explained as if that was the only problem with the smell, apparently she was immune to the smell from the giant litter box located in the bathroom. Valur gave her a long hug and they all sat down in the small kitchen. She proceeded to pour them large cups freshly brewed coffee. It turned out that she spoke pretty good English.
"You are late, I thought you would be here sooner” she suddenly said, not with accusation, merely as a matter of fact. “They never explain time very well” she added almost as If to apologize herself. “Anyway your sweaters have been ready for days now." She rose and walked into a room next to the kitchen. Soon she brought out two of her designs not giving her customers any more models to choose from or try for size, and not showing any doubt about if they were buying or not. Needless to say they both fitted perfectly and if Brian was unsure if he wanted to purchase such a garment when he saw Justin in his, he was sold.
“They don’t need a lot of washing and when you do have them washed use the goggle to find the instructions. And tell them not to use fabric softener just use hair conditioner the cheaper the better.” Alla explained.
Next, Alla grabbed the coffee cups they had been drinking from that were now empty and dry and looked into them. She started with Justin’s cup. “You don’t need a big house to be happy. I can see lots of light in a small house” She looked at Brian, “that country house is too big. Get rid of it. Happiness is in here” she placed her hand on his chest. She then looked into his cup. “Your boy is proud of you he will visit you sooner than you know right now”
It was surprising to both men, How did this woman know such details about them? When she told the price he was a bit confused because he was sure he’d seen them in stores in Reykjavik for three times what Alla was asking. “I refuse to pay you less for a sweater than I pay for a meal at a restaurant.” Brian insisted.
“I can’t take more for the knitting” It would would upset the elves… and I get the wool for free so it’s not so bad. I don’t do this for the money anyway I don’t need much.
On the way back Valur explained to them that she was not getting the wool for free. He and Björn did not like it either that she also refused to take decent money for her work so they had asked the shopkeeper in town to tell her that she and a few other knitters in the area would be getting all wool they needed for free to support local knitting. The shop then sent the bill for her wool to them. They’d also bought her house when it was up for auction and she was living there in return for whatever she was able to knit for their little store.
On their way back from Alla’s house they walked past the apartment to drop off their earlier purchase and the new sweaters. Valur then suggested they’d take a round at the gym and then go relax at the pool, Valur explained that in Iceland it was very common to talk politics and other issues in the hot pot. A lot of people go “swimming” almost every day… perhaps they don’t swim so much but they sit in the hot tubs. Brian was happy for the exercise, because even though Justin gave him a decent cardio in and out of bed, his body was screaming for some heavy lifting after days of driving and fancy eating.
At the pool they met people who asked them where they were planning to watch the game. Brian and Justin had both been totally unaware that the World Cup in Soccer was in it’s final stages in Brazil. Not that either of them were into soccer
“So soccer is a big thing here in Iceland” Justin asked.
“Ah you must be from America my friend” a middle aged man who looked more like a sea lion than a human slowly said. “It’s football, this soccer word is no good, football is not just a sport is art.” his reply made everyone in the hot tub laugh. “This is Jónas,” Valur explained. “He likes football a lot. But he’s right a lot of people watch the World Cup even though they don’t really watch football on everyday basis. Bets are made with in work places and people meet up at bars and at home to watch the games especially now that the final camp is so close. Now they’ve reached the quarterfinals and it’s very exciting. I don’t really follow football myself but Björn loves it so we are meeting up a bar later to grab a few beers and watch the game. I like just watching the hot guys he then added teasing Jónas.
After the pool Jónas offered to join them to the supermarket and help them shop. He hiked a lot so he was good at choosing nutrition dense food that was easy to carry. Björn and I fast two days or so every week and mostly eat Paleo in general, it’s an easy way to to keep in good shape. When Justin asked what Paleo was, Valur told him in general it was unprocessed whole medium to low carb foods. “I’m definitely not a purist, I drink alcohol as an example and I like milk especially raw milk and homemade yogurt but most of my meals consist of eat lean meats, fish, vegetables and some fruit and I avoid sugar and grains” It’s really not as complicated as it sounds.
At the supermarket he helped them shop for a 5 days hiking trip. “I detest the idea of taking protein powder and sugary snack hiking. You need real proteins, and fat for this kind of outing. Some fresh food too. It’s cold enough here so that real food will keep for two or three days. Get two packs of eggs. What I want you to do is boil and scramble some eggs and take a couple of grilled chicken with you. You’ll eat that on the first two days. You’ll also need something warm to drink so here are some excellent soups. You’ll supplement those with pre-cooked rice. When you get back to the apartment you’ll place a few items in the freezer. Those will keep other foods cold. It’s fine to bring some heavy foods, you won’t start you overland hike until on day 3 anyway so eat the heaviest foods first. Also get fruit and fats such as butter and cream. On the last days you can switch to nuts and dehydrated foods. You should rather bring more than less fresh fruit with you. You can always leave food behind. The park ranger will thank you for some bananas and dairy products. She never goes shopping. And the foxes will eat meats, bones and fats.
Back at the apartment Justin followed Valur’s advice and prepared rations of boiled rice with loads of cream butter and soup powder, all they then needed to do was reheat it with water. Those he placed in the freezer along with sausages, hard boiled eggs and grilled chicken and scrambled eggs all in zip bags. Valur had told them the fox would be happy to eat the bones. A second back of butter and cream also got frozen along with sandwiches with loads of cut meat.
Brian had gone with Valur to pick up the camping gear so he did not see the amount of butter Justin put in the rice.
When the other men came back Valur made some more comments and instructed some more repacking of food “You are not gonna weigh down your bag with a lot of containers,” he said and showed Justin one container he always hiked with a smart plastic container that had separate sections for instant coffee, spices, sugar, salt and other kinds they’d only need small amounts of. He also suggested that they’d empty the whiskey bottle they had left into a plastic bottle. “Very few things beat a shot of whiskey after a day of hiking” he told them.
Other foods they were bringing were skyr, oats, and a big bag of trail mix and some fruit Justin figured they would not carry for long.
Valur had brought a light but heat insulating aluminum bag for the cold items. He also instructed them to back some clean clothes in a duffle bag he had brought. I’ll put it on the boat along with some fresh foods for you and send it to you destination location in a few days. That way you only have to carry things for your actual hike. They also placed a bottle of red wine in there and the rest of the beer. “This beer is going to be the best beer you have had in your lives hands down guaranteed” Valur promised.
In the end their bags were not so heavy but of course they still had to fit the food in but Valur assured them they would eat about half of it before starting their actual hike.
At 7 they were more or less finished packing ready to the bar to watch the match or rather watch Icelandic people watch football. The were there in good time to get a decent table and a quick meal before the game started as the three hour time difference with Brazil made it very easy for Icelanders to catch all the games and neither miss work nor have to stay up too late. Björn and meet up with them there and they also met Björn’s sister who was there by herself and came to join them at their table. Her husband had stayed behind in Hólmavík to support his mother for a few more days. Brian and Justin offered her their condolences and she thanked them but added that her father in law would not have wanted them to be sad. She was sure he had front row seats to the game in the afterlife the big football fan that he was. The bartender then brought over 5 large shot glasses of the Icelandic schnapps ‘Black Death’ she had ordered and she offered a toast to the deceased declaring that he would certainly have done the same.
She then raised her eyes to the skies “Oh dear happiness, I’m only drinking this nasty shit in his honor !“ She then promoted the others to follow her example and they all emptied their glasses. Brian had to agree the nasty schnapps he later found out was made from potatoes and flavoured with caraway was not a very pleasant experience. Justin coughed a little but bravely finished his drink without more complaining.
Incidentally the USA was playing Belgium and many of of the onlookers were rooting for the US because one of the players on the team was from Iceland so that was the closest Iceland got to the World Cup. “The US can’t win” Jónas told them straight in the beginning of the game, “they need better offence. Defence does not win games, offence does”
Every time there was a goal or three times in the game Jónas rose and bellowed something in Icelandic. Valur translated that he was offering beer to every body rooting for that team and interestingly it seemed the onlookers were quite flexible in who they were rooting for. ‘Free beer‘ was clearly the magic phrase of the day. “Don’t worry he can certainly afford it. He owns the largest fish factory in this town,“ Valur said as he brought over the first batch of give away beers.
“He is a very good employer though, and he gives a lot back to the community, not just beer” Valur rose his glass to Jónas who was sitting near by but not close enough to hear him.
The game went as Jónas had predicted, Belgium won 2:1 and having drunk 4 large beers each and that big glass of the schnapps, they were all certainly a bit more than tipsy as they walked back to their apartment.
Björn and Valur offered to come meet them in the morning and drive them to the boat and take whatever belongings they were not taking with them on the boat. Earlier Björn had suggested that he’d return the car for them so that they would not need to pay for it during the days they’d be away.
All things certainly seemed to be ready for their hike in the wilderness and both men were full of anticipation as they welcomed the night in each other arms.
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