JUSTIN

I spent all night not being able to sleep, Brian actually said it out loud, in public, without caring who heard it. It was the first time I couldn’t say it back, because I couldn't speak. When we got home, he wanted to show me the loft below his.

“I bought it a month ago, to expand and give Gus a bedroom. It's the same size as upstairs only the previous owner gutted the storage area to create more rooms. ” He tells me.

“When do you plan to remodel it?” I asked.

“When we decide how this relationship works with you living in California.” He tells me.

“What are you really asking?”

“I’m asking you to make Pittsburgh your home base. If the things you told me you wanted are going to be possible, it means having a place that we call home.” He tells me.

“Do you really want what I do? Because it was never something you believed in.” I tell him.

“Why would I, when there wasn’t someone I wanted it with? When we were together before you left, no I didn’t want what you described. In the time you were gone, everything changed for me. I wanted Gus to know he could depend on me, which meant revising my views on life. He needed to hear and see that love was a fact, not bullshit. When you left, I tried to return to the life before you, but I realized there really wasn’t one before you.” He tells me.

“When we tried living together before, it drove you insane. I’m still unorganized and leave things everywhere, and I expect there to be food when I open the refrigerator. I don’t want tricks in my house or around my kids if I ever have them. It’s asking you for a lot more than just making a home with me.” I tell him.

“No tricks?” He asks.

“If you still want tricks, then that’s completely your decision. I just don’t want them in my face and I don’t want to find them here in the bed we share. Tricking wasn’t a problem, it was when it felt like you were using it to put me in my place and tell me to stop expecting more.Then having to listen to Michael use it as proof of what he was always telling me.” I tell him.

“Why were you listening to Michael?” He asks.

“If Michael wanted you to do something, you didn’t come up with excuses, but did what he wanted. We ended up at that boring ass slideshow because Michael wanted you there. Everything he wanted, you did. Anything I wanted was dependent on your mood, which normally meant no.” I tell him.

“I wanted to go with you to Vermont, I know you don’t believe me when I didn’t go.” I tell him.

“It was hard to believe, because instead of giving me a reason, you just walked out saying it was business.” I tell him.

“Vance threatened my job, which I needed to pay for everything including your tuition.” He tells me.

“Why not just tell me that? I would have understood.” I tell him.

“I didn’t want you to worry about it, when I could fix it. Only I got home wanting to celebrate with you and found out you went without me. You missed hearing something that I was ready to tell you.” He tells me.

“That you made partner?” I ask.

“I think it was something along the lines of “Your partner just made partner.” He tells me.

“I need to ask you something, it’s about my prom. Why did you come?” I ask.

“Because you asked, and I wanted to give you the night you wanted.” He tells me.

“When I asked you blew me off, I remember that. It’s why it still confuses me that you came.” I tell him.

“When we left the dance, you knew your place in my life. It’s forever buried in the memories you lost that night. When you walked away from the jeep, you knew the words I never said out loud were true. That I loved you. After what happened, I couldn’t say them to you.” He tells me.

“But you could tonight?” I ask.

“When Ted said that your independence was why I loved you, I didn’t see the reason you shouldn’t know what everyone else did. I didn’t fool anyone, acting like nothing changed when you left, not even me. There was an empty space in my life that only you could fill.” He tells me.

“I know the feeling.” I tell him, walking into his arms.

“Then help me fill this space with your mess and my son.” He tells me.

“After I take Gus out tomorrow, do you have time to come with me and help me pack?” I tell him.

“I’ll even bring helpers, Emmett needs to see the parts of Ted’s life he missed out on.” He tells me.

“Wes always wanted to meet Emmett.” I tell him.

“I sort of want to meet Wes, he apparently developed followers in you and Ted.” He says, sounding jealous.

“He wants to meet you, because I couldn’t stop loving you.” I tell him, kissing the smirk he gave me.

GUS

I waited in the living room with my back pack, ready with all the things my Mom thinks you need to go to the zoo. She wanted to come with us, but I wanted to it to be just me and Justin, I had questions to ask so I knew if he was good enough for my Dad, and Mom would be too busy talking his ear off for him to answer. I told her to arrange her own day with Justin, because today was for me to make sure he loves my dad the way my dad loves him.

When Justin pulled up I ran out the door, hoping we could just go, but Mom of course had to follow me and ask if Justin wanted to come to dinner at our house tomorrow. I wasn’t happy to hear him tell her that he was going back to California, and I was about to ask why he came back if he was going to leave my dad again. I didn’t have to though, because he told her that we could do dinner after he and my dad came back. He managed to get us in the car and headed to the zoo when I told him I wanted to go there. I waited until we were walking around to ask him anything.

“Did you ever miss my dad?”

“All the time. I missed everyone, but he was the one I wanted to come back here for.” He tells me.

“They talked about you a lot every time we had family dinners. Not my dad, but my moms and Grandma Deb. Dad only talked about you when it was just me and him. He told me he didn’t like the way everyone talked about him and you.” I tell him.

“They were used to saying things as if it was a joke, not understanding that sometimes it wasn’t what we wanted to hear.” He tells me

“Like how Michael calls you names? They wouldn’t say anything, but I could tell no one thought it was funny. I don’t get why my dad didn’t tell him he didn’t like it, because he normally would tell Michael to shut up if it upset Grandma Deb or my moms, which it did. ” I tell him.

I found a bench and we sat in front of the monkey cage. “Were you ever jealous because someone got something you wanted?” He asks.

“Yeah.” I told him.

“It’s the way Michael feels about me. He didn’t want your Dad with me. It made it hard for either of us to like each other.” He tells me.

“Why would he be jealous, they could have still been friends? It’s not like Dad talked about him the way he did about you. When I ask about you, he tells me things like when you cooked him dinner and showed him he wanted to be the best dad I could have.” I tell him.

“He didn’t need me to convince him, he showed me that the night you were born. It was like the only person in the room was you when he held you for the first time.” He tells me.

“Do you love my dad?” I ask, as we were leaving the zoo.

“Since the moment we met.” He tells me.

“Then why did you leave?” I asked, because if he loved Dad, why leave?

“I thought your dad was giving up the things he wanted in order to take care of me. I needed to see if I could take care of myself, instead of your dad always taking care of me. The only thing I should've done was at least tell your dad that I left. It was thoughtless and selfish to think it was okay to leave the way I did.” He tells me.

“He said I noticed you weren’t around. I guess you were spending a lot of time with me.” I tell him, wanting to know if he really spent that much time with me.

“It's one of the things that made me happy, spending the day with you.” I tell him.

“If you moved back here, I could make you happy all the time.” I tell him.

“It’s why your dad and I are going to California, so I can pack and move back. You're the first to know.” He tells me, which meant my dad would be happy too. So Justin could stay.

BRIAN

Ted came charging in, wanting to know why he needed to be on a flight in the morning. I purposely left out where we were going, because it stung he out negotiated me on his job.

“Brian, I wasn’t kidding. I will not go as your secretary to take notes on changes a client wants to the campaign.” He tells me, slapping the note I left on his desk that he needed to clear his calendar for a trip.

“You're the one who wanted me to share you with Wes. I figured while Justin was packing to move here, you, Wes, and I could talk about how this will work.” I tell him.

Ted fell in the chair, losing the indignation he walked in with. “Justin really agreed to move back here?” He asks.

“Yes, and I need you to help me with some changes that I need. The loft below mine, I want to get the remodeling started so Justin can have a place to work, because when he’s not going to locations, he needs a place to where he can work.” I tell him.

“He’s going to stay in the loft below you?” He asks.

“No we are going to join the two lofts, and live together. I want it so Justin has an office with what he needs so he doesn’t have to live in California. I’m going to go ahead and tell you that while Justin is in Australia, you and Cynthia are going to be in charge here, so I can visit him as often as possible. ” I tell him.

“Why not just give Justin an office here? We have everything he would need to do his job.” He tells me.

“If he’s good with that idea, then we’ll do it. Do me a favor and tell Emmett he’s coming with us. I need a few helpers so we can get Justin packed and moved faster.” I tell him.

“So we’re really only invited so you don’t have to do more than order us around.” He jokes.

“I’ll even give you the rest of the day off, so you can get your beauty rest for Wes.” I tell him.

“If only he was interested, but alas we were fated to be friends, like all the God’s of gay men.” Ted laughs, leaving.