CARL

It was like seeing a different side to Red when she and Justin talked to each other. She treated Justin like an adult. Not telling him what he should do, but excited that he didn’t give up on his dreams and was making his own way in the world. It's not how she is when she deals with Michael. With Michael it's like she has to still be the mother she was to a small child. With Emmett, it's more of a best friend relationship, in which they share their love of the same things. Ted’s relationship with her has, in my opinion, never been close, he doesn't depend on Deb for anything but he still shows her respect. I once had to ask Deb about her strange relationship with Brian, because it almost seemed like, depending on the day, Brian was either a patsy for Michael’s issues or the savior. It truly was confusing, especially when you add Justin in the mix.

They sat in the kitchen, able to agree or disagree, but not having Deb trying to argue Justin into agreeing with her. The only time in the whole conversation Deb tried that was on the subject of when he left Brian.

“Sunshine, he didn’t do anything other than hurt you.” She tells him.

“Neither of us was committed to making it work. If I had been, I wouldn’t have been lying to him. He was constantly having everyone telling him I deserved things, but never once taking into consideration, that maybe he didn’t know what he wanted. Being able to get away made me see that he never once promised me more than we already had. There might have been something he couldn’t pursue because he was too busy taking care of me.” He tells her.

“If there was, you wouldn’t know it. You left and it was back to trying to be the Stud. There was also something everyone kept from me, because after the girls party, Brian took over a week to even talk to Michael, and even then it wasn't the way they used to be with each other. All I know is, Ben broke up with Michael, and the rest of them stopped being angry with each other.” She tells him.

Now years of being a detective meant seeing Justin’s tell. He started playing with the cuffs of his shirt and blew off the subject, which meant he knew what caused the fuss all of them pretend didn’t happen. Which only says Michael opened his mouth, and it was about Justin.

“Everyone has things they disagree on, but they always get over it.” Justin tells her.

“I just wish whatever caused Ben to break up with Michael hadn’t happened. I wasn’t cheering them on at first, but I really liked Ben. He was what Michael needed to stop living in the past.” She tells him.

“I think I'll wash up and help you set the table.” Justin tells her, leaving the kitchen.

“I guess I should get dinner ready, although if Michael comes and starts shit with Justin, I'm going to have words with my son.” She tells me.

It wasn’t what I was used to, Red not giving in to Michael’s tantrums. I had to wonder if she would really bother, or just ignore what Michael does, which is really what happens around here. I watch all of them at dinners, and if the topic isn’t Michael’s woes, then everyone’s eating. Ted and Emmett showed up first, Ted went straight to the kitchen to talk to Justin, while Emmett sat on the couch watching, as if he didn’t feel included into the two. Justin said something to Ted that had Ted laughing and carrying on, almost as if their friendship was outside of everyone. Emmett wasn’t his usual sparkling self as he watched them whispering about something.

“You okay?” I ask Emmett.

“Ted has this whole life he shares with Justin, something he never talks about, but seeing them together means there are parts of my best friend's life he didn’t trust me with.” He tells me.

“There are always things that you'll never know. Each friendship is different, it doesn't make one better than the other, just different.” I tell him.

“I guess, but I'm still not sure where I stand with Justin. He doesn’t seem angry about things he knows happened after he left. Ted told him about Michael saying Brian would have been better off if Justin hadn’t survived the bashing, and Justin wasn’t really upset, just said it wasn’t a surprise it came out of Michael’s mouth.” He tells me.

Which explained why Justin blew it off when Red was talking about it. It also made me understand Justin, because knowing her son could say something like that, would turn this evening into mess. Justin was being a man, something Michael hasn't managed to become.

“I get the feeling that the drama was something Justin grew out of.” I tell Emmett.

Brian walked in with the girls and Gus, and Justin stopped talking, staring at Gus. It was also the first time I saw Gus being shy in the house. He whispered something to Brian, then made his way over to Justin.

“Thank you for the teddy bear.” Gus tells him.

“I thought you could take care of him for me. I felt bad that he lived in my mom's attic.” Justin tells him.

“Mama said it's why you picked Gus when I was born.” Gus tells him.

“It's the name of one of my best friends as a child. Which is something I wanted us to become one day.” Justin tells him.

“Was that why you spent time with me when I was a baby?” Gus asks.

“I spent time with you because everyday I knew you, it meant loving you even more. I missed you the most when I left.” Justin tells him.

“We could go do stuff while you're here.” Gus offers.

“It's a date, I'd love to see the things you like.” Justin tells him.

Michael walked in, and immediately started in on Emmett and Brian, Justin took Ted and Gus outside with him, while Michael complained.

“I thought we were going to skip this. Let Ma entertain him, it's not like there's any reason we want to listen to what Justin abandoned everyone to do.” He says loudly, probably to make sure Justin heard it.

“If that's what you want to do son, go ahead, and if anyone agrees with Michael, follow him.” Deb tells us.

Michael watched as they all went into the kitchen to help set the table, apparently not seeing Michael’s side.

BRIAN

I watched out the back window as Gus ran around talking to Justin and Ted. Ted was like a different person around Justin, more confident. Deb yelled to come in and Gus ran ahead of them, followed by Ted. Justin was answering his phone. I walked out when he stopped, and turned around to answer.

“I got the job?” He asks, excited. “When do we have to be there… I should be back by then… possibly a couple of weeks, but I finished everything Brett needed, so unless something needs to be changed that he needs me there for, I'm done… I've always wanted to travel, so it's my opportunity to see Australia… I'll get my passport done while I'm here… it's different in some ways, but like we talked about, I needed to see him happy… it doesn't matter, my feelings weren’t important… just because I love him doesn’t mean he has to feel the same, sometimes they just don't… let it go… later.” Justin tells him, hanging up.

I went in before he saw me. So, nowhere in this was a plan to stick around once again. I looked at Michael standing in the living room, pissed that everyone planned to stay, and really had to agree there wasn’t anything left to stay for. Justin came in smiling, pissing me off. He shows up as if he really gave a fuck, only it was obvious he was just here to pass the time before moving on. I almost left, but maybe he needs to see what he didn’t stick around for.

“I just got the call, I'm going to be working in Australia for a month.” He tells us.

“I guess you'll need to get back to your life, it was nice you bothered with us.” I sneered.

“He should have just stayed where he was, no one really noticed he was gone. Why not do everyone a favor and disappear?” Michael joins in.

“Not a problem, if that's what you want. Deb thanks, but I have something I should do.” Justin tells her.

“It's sitting down and eating at the dinner that I made for you. If Brian and Michael have a problem, then they can leave.” Deb tells us.

“I’ll come back later, I'm sure Gus came to have dinner with the family he knows, which it seems Brian and Michael don't want me here for.” Justin tells her, kissing her cheek and walking out without letting anything stop him.

“I'm done. You'll have my resignation on your desk in the morning. I can't work with someone I just lost all respect for, good job, both of you.” Ted tells me and Michael, before storming out.

Gus runs past us out of the house, screaming for Justin. Mel looked at me like I was shit on the bottom of her shoe. I went to get Gus, stopping Michael when he tried to follow me. Justin was kneeling on the sidewalk talking to Gus.

“I'll still come see you. I don't want everyone upset at dinner, so it's better for you if I leave.” Justin tells him.

“I don’t understand why everyone got mad.” Gus tells Justin.

“I left without letting anyone know I was okay, which wasn't the right thing to do. It had nothing to do with you. I was hoping that when I'm away this time we could keep in contact, and if your moms and dad let you, you could come see a movie being made. Hopefully they'll agree, but be good and help me get them to agree. I'll come over tomorrow and we can go do something, okay?” Justin asks.

“Okay, but promise me.” Gus tells him.

“I promise.” Justin tells him, hugging him.

Gus ran past me, glaring. “Gus, be good, remember?” Justin asks.

“I didn’t say Dad was mean, that's all he and Michael get from me.” Gus tells me, walking past.

“Ted stay, I'm fine.” Justin tells him.

“Why bother, when to when I'll be taking Wes up on his offer to work for him. Wes at least doesn't jump to conclusions before asking.” Ted tells me.

“Brian doesn’t owe me anything. If he wants me gone, then he doesn't need to throw me off a cliff. But then, I'm used to it.” Justin shrugged, then walked to his car.

I started towards Justin, but Ted blocked my way. “Go back in, you just proved to Justin nothing’s changed. Mikey’s waiting.” He tells me, leaving.

Fuck it, Justin is going to face me. I got in my car and followed him. Only he didn’t go to a place I expected him to go. When he stopped in the graveyard, he pulled out white roses then went straight to Vic’s grave. That fucking twat, he was the one who had them placed there every month. Deb mentioned in passing that she kept finding white roses at Vic’s grave, thinking Rodney must be putting them there. None of us ever thought about it, but mystery solved. I got out and followed him. He cleared away debris and put them in the vase on the headstone.

“We had to stop Deb from erecting a monument. “ I tell him.

“He deserved one.” He tells me.

“Justin…”

“Can we not do this here, it's not the place for anything but remembering Vic.” He tells me.

“Your whole life feels like a place I'm not allowed to know about.” I tell him.

“Not here, if you want to do this, then anywhere but here.” He tells me.

I nodded as Justin kissed his fingers and laid them on Vic’s headstone. “I'll meet you at the loft.” I tell him.

I got there ahead of him and waited until he pulled up. We both walked in and waited until the door was closed and locked.

“Here's the only chance you get, say what you need to, because I'm done after this.” Justin tells me.

“Why come back?” I ask.

“Because I needed to either close this chapter with you, or figure out if there was anything to fight for. I want to one day have a family and a relationship where my partner wants to have those things with me. Our relationship was always with one of us leaving the door open. My door can’t be that way anymore. If you see your future without me, then stop hiding from what you want and tell me it wasn't me.” He tells me.

“Your future doesn’t seem to include me.” I tell him.

“Maybe because you want one with someone else. It wasn’t like I didn’t see it, I stopped not seeing it.” He tells me.

Ted said it, and it was in everything Justin just said, but it didn't make them right. The banging on my door, had Justin turning to leave. “Answer it and we're done.” I tell him.

“I'm sure he'll just use his key, nothing keeps Mikey from you.” He tells me.

“You always could, you just never asked.” I tell him.