It's been around five months since we began chatting. I began feeling as if I had Sunshine back, or at least a part of him. I started to know a part of him I didn't know before. I always knew that I could count on Justin for anything, but these last months I started seeing him as more than a lover- as a friend that I could always tell anything to without fear of judgement.
However, the fear was still there. Not fear of Justin not being worthy of my trust, but fear of me not being good enough for him- and him finally noticing it... again.
10:00
Alex commented that I let the gang have a lot of power over me.
Especially, Lindsay, Michael and Debbie.
That if I want to be better, I have to have more independence.
Be in control of my life, and not let other influence my decision.
10:03
What do you believe?
10:05
I asked for the copy of my keys back.
Also, when the remodelling is over I'll have my code and bolt changed.
10:06
I guess that they didn't take it very well
10:07
I've never seen them more indignant in my entire life!
Surprisingly, the only that didn't have a problem with it was Mikey.
Lindsay and Debbie made sure that the entire Liberty Avenue was notified how angry and how against they were about my decision.
10:08
They have no right to be angry
Those keys were a proof of how much trust you had in them, trust that was a lot
After all, they were only for emergencies
You don't know how many times I entered the loft, while I was still living with you, just to find one of them making themselves at home
10:08
Why didn't you tell me before?
They had no right to do that!
10:09
Who would you have trusted?
Them, and then you would have called me a drama queen who was exaggerating
10:10
I'm sorry.
10:11
It's coming out more easily lately
Also, you've been apologizing a lot
10:12
I have a lot to apologize for.
Especially, to you.
You didn't deserve what I put you through.
10:20
Thank you
10:20
You're welcomed.
10:23
What's that you mention about a remodelling?
10:24
I bought the loft above me.
I'm having them connected it, so there will be more space to raise Gus.
I will give your mom a key, so she'll send it to you.
10:25
Me?!
Why do I need to have a key to the loft?
10:26
For when you come back to Pittsburgh.
Where else would you stay?
I know that as much as you love Mother Taylor, you like the independence that living away from her gave you.
10:30
Brian... I don't think that's a decision you can make
10:31
Then, who will?
10:32
Me and my boyfriend
I never understood when people use the phrase: 'It broke my heart'. Not even when I discovered that Sunshine moved to New York. However, now I do. Those four little words rocked my world, and not in the good way.
It was me that was gone from the chat this time... and maybe for forever as well.