Brian parked a couple feet away from the diner and turned to look at Justin. He saw that the kid was just lying there staring into space and ignoring the whole situation at hand. “Right… we’re here.” Brian announced with a quiet voice.

Justin didn't even bother to look outside but just sat up and got out the car. As he looked at the time of his watch he realised it was too late to go to his house without waking his parents up and getting questioned about where he had been and why he would come back so late, and he couldn't reach Daphne because his phone had died. Fuck. He didn't know what to do or where to go, so he just decided to go along with Brian and Michael.

That's when he realised he was losing to Brian. He was letting Brian help him after what he had done to him. After treating him like that. Justin wasn't going to let that happen or let Brian help. He walked into the diner that was in view, only guessing this is the one they were talking about, and went straight into the toilets. It took Brian and Michael by surprise that Justin had the strength to get up and walk at a fast pace towards the diner as he had seemed to weak before. They quickly sped up their own pace so they could keep an eye on Justin. When they got into the diner and had seen Justin walk towards the toilet, they decided that Michael would go and talk to his Ma about what had happened to see if she can help, and that Brian will follow Justin into the toilets.

Brian entered the main door to the men's toilets and saw that the two stalls were both locked. He called Justin's name but didn't get an answer...obviously.

Justin was sitting on the loo with his feet lifted from the ground and his knees pulled tight close to his chest, not wanting Brian to know what one he was in.

“Justin. Can you come out? We'll get some food and figure out where you're gonna go.” Brian was still confused as to why he cared so much about this kid.

Suddenly Justin slammed open the door, stared at Brian with incredulous anger and stepped forward to close some of the distance between them. “Why don't you just leave. Me. Alone.” Justin saw that Brian was about to grab his arm and reply but he stepped back. “No. I don't want to hear anything from you…and I definitely don’t want you to touch me.” he paused for a minute, almost going through what he was about to say in his head. “You lead me on, TOOK my virginity, fucked me for the whole weekend and actually made me feel like I was worth something.” Justin let out a heavy breath as he was starting to find it hard to breathe again. “Then suddenly, when YOU decide you've had enough of me, you treat me like I was nothing? Like what we did and how we were together was nothing.” Justin's eyes started to tear up again as he looked at his beautiful ex-lover. He took in a shaky breath. “You hurt me Brian” Justin's voice was just above a whisper and he couldn't look Brian in the eye anymore, so he looked down at his hands which he was fidgeting with and scratching as if it was his coping method. “I thought we had something special, the way you looked at me, smiled at me… even how you touched me so gently as if you cared about me. Why do all of that just to throw me away?” Justin then looked back up at the shining hazel eyes to see if he could make out any emotion that Brian might show.

Brian just stood there completely confused about how he was feeling. He didn't flinch at Justin saying he thought they had something special, he found himself agreeing… no that can't be. He was looking at the teary blue eyes that he thought he could never get enough of and then he was the one looking down because he felt uncomfortable looking at the sadness on the blonde’s face.

Justin didn't think Brian was going to reply so he just went to walk towards the door until he heard Brian's voice. He couldn't make out what he was saying because it was so quiet. “What?” He asked, even though part of him wanted to walk out and forget that any of this had ever happened. But he knew the other part of him desperately wanted Brian.

Before Brian could repeat what, he mumbled, Debbie came bursting through the door.

“Hello boys” Debbie greeted them with a smirk on her face and her hands on her hips.

Brian silently cursed her for walking in on that very moment, but was also relieved as he wasn't sure if he might be ready to talk to Justin about his feelings… the feelings that were so strange to him, that he always seemed to feel when Justin was close to him or on his mind. Which at the moment had been 24/7. ‘Fuck! I only spent a fucking weekend with the kid and I can’t get him out of my head. What is going on Kinney?’ Brian got pulled out of his thoughts by Debbie.

“Whatcha’ boys doing in here?” Debbie looked at Brian seeing a certain tint of emotion on his face that she had never actually seen before. She then looked at one of the most beautiful twinks she had ever seen with Brian. She felt bad as she caught a glimpse of his beautiful bright blue eyes that were filled with tears and that seemed to show some pain. Looking at him more firmly she gave him a sincere look. She also noticed his golden blonde locks, and not to mention his perfectly shaped bubble butt. Damn Brian, you definitely know how to pick em’, you just never know how to keep em’ Debbie thought.

“Um… I just went to the toilet?” Justin answered, confused at the sudden interruption of this  stranger, also feeling quite intimidated by the loud redhead.

“Debbie this is Justin. Justin, Debbie.” Brian introduced them.

Debbie went in for one of her ever so famous bear/mother hugs with Justin. Justin however was finding it hard to breathe.

“Debs, let the boy breathe for god's sake.” Brian dryly commented. “Why did you even come in here?” Brian asked as he was intrigued as to what Michael had told her.

“I came to tell you both that the lemon bars seem to be selling quite quickly and I didn't want you two to miss out.” Debbie replied sounding chuffed with herself as she made the sarcastic yet also kind of serious remark.

“Huh?” Justin was just getting more confused with each sentence Debbie was speaking.

“Come on Sunshine, let's go get you some lemon bars, on the house tonight.” Debbie smirked at him whilst grabbing his arm and yanking him out.

Sunshine? Brian thought. “You too asshole” Debbie called back to Brian giving him a motherly look before making it out the shutting door.

Brian watched as the door shut and let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. Suddenly the other stall opened and this big bear of a man came out, looking Brian in the eye. “I know you're Brian “fucking” Kinney and all.” Using his hands to make the quotations symbols when talking about the “fucking” part. “You know, ‘the Stud of Liberty Avenue’ and I know you've got a reputation to live up to. But for what it's worth, he seems like a 1 in a million.” He was now washing his hands and Brian was just staring at him. “And what I heard that you just did to him fucking sucks dude. I knew you weren't the relationship type but I didn't know you were a heartless prick.” He grabbed a paper towel to dry his hands. “Let go of your fucking pride and actually feel something for once.” And with that the big bear of a man tossed the paper towel in the bin and walked out the bathroom without a second glance at Brian. Brian just stood there, completely frozen and confused as to what the guy had said to him. He should just shove it off thought, right? Take no notice of it… but he couldn’t. What that guy had told him, had really stuck and sunk into him mind.

He turned around and looked at himself in the mirror, trying to see if he could see anything different because he felt different. But nothing was different to him. He still looked hot, still looked like the stud. So, what was going on?

=~=~=~=~=

“There you go sunshine” Debbie said as she placed a plate of lemon bars down in front of Justin. “Would you like a drink with them?”

“Thanks… and..um.. just water would be good.. thanks” Justin was feeling quite uncomfortable and just wanted to walk out the diner.

“Sure thing kiddo” Debbie ruffled Justin's hair before she went to get some water for him.

Michael was sitting in front of him, drinking a coke and just looking at him.

“Ah.. are you alright now?” Michael asked Justin between sips of his drink.

“Yeah. Thanks...for helping me and stuff.” Justin appreciated Michael's concern and dug into the lemon bars.

“Here you go.” Debbie returned with the water for Justin. “If you want anything else just shout for me, okay!” Debbie rubbed the back of Justin's back in a motherly way and then turned to Michael. “And you make sure he is okay and keep an eye on him, otherwise it'll be me you answer to okay!”

“Jeez ma! Okay.” Michael answered with a huff and sipped at his drink again.

“Oh.” Justin was surprised.

“What? Are you okay?” Debbie asked with worry in her voice.

“No… I mean yeah, I'm all good thanks. I just didn't realise you were mother and son.” Justin smiled slightly.

“Oh, sweetie you had me worried then.” Debbie relaxed again.

“Sorry” said Justin with a guilty look on his face.

“Yeah sometimes I even question how this crazy lady could be my mother.” Michael chuckled at his own little joke, but was stopped by a smack at the back of his head.

“Ouch! Ma!” He rubs the back of his head. “But then she does that and I'm reminded” Michael smiles at his ma and kisses her on the cheek.

Justin chuckled at the their behaviour and smiled one of his bright sunshine smiles. Debbie placed her hand on his cheek and gave it an affectionate pinch. She smiled back at him but then realised his sudden change of posture and attitude as he looked to his right just behind her. His sunshine smile disappeared, his posture became slouched as if he was trying to hide himself, his eyes met his almost empty plate and he started to fidget with his hands and scratching them mindlessly.

“What did I miss?” Brian announces his return from just behind Debbie.

“Finally!” Mikey says after finishing off his drink. Debbie ignores Brian and Michael. Lifts Justin’s chin with her hand and just winks at Justin as she gives him one more affectionate squeeze to his cheek to show that he'll be alright. Justin decided then and there that he really likes Debbie and that he hopes to see her again after all his mess is over with tonight. He smiles once more at her, but then his eyes move towards Brian.

Brian just rolled his eyes at Michael and then looks down at Justin. However, Justin looks down at his plate as soon as Brian makes eye contact with him. He had noticed how Justin's shoulders and his body language had sunk as if he was uncomfortable in his presence. That hurt him a little, but he couldn't exactly blame the kid. Brian looked down and realised the blond was fidgeting with his hands again and Brian realised his hands looked red and sore from where he was scratching and fiddling.

Brian started feeling something close to sympathy for the kid. To see him hurt himself without even noticing was kind of…. heartbreaking.

Justin looked up slightly and noticed Brian had whispered something into Debs ear. Debbie gave Brian a look of concern as well as a warning at first but then eventually told Michael she needed to talk with him. He was hesitant at first but then complied with his Ma as he saw the way Brian was looking at Justin. Michael thought that he had never seen such a look of pure guilt and pain on his best friend's face, so he knew this was serious.

Once Debs and Michael had moved over to the counter, Brian moved to sit next to Justin in the booth, nudging him over slightly so he had more room.

Brian saw how uncomfortable Justin looked at first and hated himself for it as he knew he was the cause of it. He took Justin's hand into his and started to rub and soothe the red marks and scratches on the blonde’s hands where he had scratched and picked at. Justin first flinched at the touch but then let it happen as although Brian had hurt him, he still felt so comforted and safe by the older man's touch. Fuck he thought, he was so fucked. Why did he have to fall in love with Brian? He wanted him so badly but feared more heartbreak.

Justin was so deep in thought that he didn't realise Brian was trying to talk to him. “Justin… Justin?” Brian placed a hand on the boy’s cheek to get him to look at him.

Justin finches slightly but then found himself leaning into Brian's touch. When he realised what he was doing he moved away but got pulled back by Brian.

“Look Justin...I'm not sure what has happened and I don't know what I'm feeling.” Brian had no idea where this was coming from and before he knew it the words were out of his mouth. “I've always lived by my own rules and I never let anyone tell me different, because it's my life and I'm the one who gets to decide how I want to live it. But...” He had no idea what he was doing. “But... ever since meeting you… I... I don't know. I just... feel different.”

Brian looked up into his now favourite blue eyes where he thought he could see tears form. He was hoping they were good tears as he hated the thought of hurting this beautiful boy anymore. Fuck. Had he just thought that? He went to look away but Justin went to say something but stopped himself. “What?” Brian urged him on.

Justin felt hesitant but repeated himself, still very quietly. “If... if you feel different ever since meeting me, why… did you push me away? Why did you hurt me when we were having so much fun? You made me feel so loved and cared for and then suddenly you treat me like I'm nothing but trash?” Justin goes to look into Brian's eyes but finds it too difficult so he looks down at his hands which are still enclosed in Brian’s.

Brian was looking straight ahead trying to figure out a way to answer Justin's multiple questions. “I-I … fuck. I don't know why, it's just what I do, it's just who I am. Shit... I don't know Justin. Okay, I don't know.” Justin decided to look up into the full hazel eyes and saw there was meaning behind them. He could see it was hard for Brian to talk to him and be so open. He was so scared of getting hurt though he didn't know if he could willingly give his trust and love back to the man who had already broken his heart after such a short amount of time. It was frustrating because he really wanted him. More than anything else in his life, he wanted to be with him.

Brian turned to look back at Justin, he saw the way he was looking at him, almost like trying to analyse him. It freaked him out a bit and he decided he wanted to be somewhere a bit more private before they continued their talk. “Look, could we go somewhere more private? I don't want the gossiping queens of Liberty Avenue to see that I'm trying to explain myself to you.” Brian didn't realise how harsh he made that sound until he saw the look of pain that came across on Justin's face.

Justin’s body language changed and he slid away as much as he could from Brian. “Yeah, we wouldn't want anyone else to see that you could possibly have a heart.” Justin huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Fuck” Brian mumbled. “All I ever do is try to fix things but then I just go and fuck it up.” He said under his breath to himself and looking straight ahead, not realising he had said it out loud.

Justin looked towards Brian who now had his thumb and forefinger pressed up on the bridge of his nose, almost as if he was trying to ward off a bad headache or something. He didn't know what to do though. Why should he let Brian decide where to go or what to do after he had hurt him? “Have you ever thought about why you need to fix these “things” in the first place though?” Justin found himself saying without even realising at first.

“What?” Brian turned to look at Justin.

Justin was at first hesitant to talk again but felt like he needed to try and help Brian understand something. “Y-You say how you're always trying to fix things but fuck it up. Do you ever realise that the reason why you try to fix things in the first place is because you deliberately caused it?” Justin doesn't look at Brian as he explains this as he gets too nervous.

Brian looks on at Justin as he is trying to process what the young blond has just said. How would he know that? How can this kid already know so much about my thought process? “Justin, can we please just go somewhere more private to have this type of conversation? I can drive you home and we can talk in the car, or you can come back to the loft to talk. Just anywhere but here.” He can't believe that he is pleading Justin to finish this talk. He hates talking, but for some reason he wants to talk to Justin and sort out all the shit he caused.

Justin looked at him and again saw the meaning and pleading in his favourite hazel eyes. He still didn't want Brian deciding what to do. He shouldn't be able to after what he did. But then he thought back to where he would stay tonight as he couldn't go back home now and didn't want to just stride up to Daphne’s, even though that's where he told his parents he would be for the weekend. He didn't want to get her into trouble too. If anything, he decided he could probably stay on Brian's sofa at the loft or at least ask for some money for a hotel room after.

Justin closes his eyes briefly as if it was helping him to decide what to do. “Fine.” He opens his eyes and looks at Brian. “Let's go back to your loft, you can “explain yourself” to me and we'll see from there. But if you treat me like another piece of trash, that's it. I'm done.” Justin said drily.

Brian was taken back by Justin's tone of voice. It was almost as if Brian was now talking to himself. It made him realise just how he can sound to other people sometimes. He didn't know why but he wanted Justin's trust back, he wanted to see the boy smile again. He wanted… Justin.

TBC