Title: Just Kiss Me…

Story Type: AU

Word Count: 2820

Warnings: Love, Passion, Romance, Angst, Anti-Michael…

Beta Queen: BigJ52

Banner: Predec2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Summary: Brian and Justin’s journey of love…

Chapter Summary: After Justin bumps his head in the backroom of Babylon, long-forgotten memories are sparked…

Chapter Sixteen ~ Long Forgotten Kisses

Last night started out just like any other night, but then things got complicated. Mikey stopped by and indulged in a little voyeurism that twisted both his and Justin’s panties in a bunch. Justin stalked away, so pissed that if he still had that gun Cody gave him, I think he would have murdered Michael.  Mikey’s image of me threw him into a hissy fit, because I didn’t live up to his fantasy of who he thought I should be. Then he just wanted to play the ‘woe is me, life isn’t what he expected’ card. I had disappointed him again by not kowtowing to his demands. I guess I’ve finally had enough, and I’ve started pushing back, practically causing Michael a meltdown.

An hour later Emmett showed up, which was actually nice to have some comic relief. He and Justin got stoned and played Beauty Parlor Babies in the bathroom, which resulted in Justin taking my breath away, he looked so fucking hot. If Em hadn’t been there I probably would have thrown him on the floor and had my way with him. Then we all ended up at Babylon, where I tried to catch up with Em and Justin’s current state of mind, but alcohol was never going to get me there.

We started out on the dance floor, but soon found ourselves kissing passionately against the back wall of the backroom. Thankfully I pay the cleaning crew to hose down the walls after closing every night. I have standards, unlike the Sap…

Then, in the throes of passion Justin smacked his head against the wall, becoming dazed and extremely emotional, professing his love for me. Then he claimed he remembered that long-forgotten dance we shared, bringing back so many memories for both of us. I can’t help freaking out a little about it, while he seems ecstatic. So I take him home and make love to him, nice and slow until we’re both melting into one another.

Now I lie awake, watching him sleep, wondering what this morning will bring. I have a feeling today will test my strength, as we finally talk about the spring night so many years ago. I’m not an emotional man, but that night my emotions controlled me in ways I’ve never allowed to happen, before or after that. 

His eyes flutter open, and his smile grows. His face lights up like the sun warming my heart.

“Brian? You’re still here. It’s almost 10.00 am.”

“I decided not to go into the office today. Ted can handle anything that comes up.”

“Is everything alright? Do you feel sick?”

I smile at him. “Everything’s fine. I wanted us to spend the day together, that’s all.”

Truthfully I do feel a little sick, but I’ll do anything to help him, even if it scares the hell out of me. We need to face this together, like we should have done years ago. But I couldn’t, or wouldn’t have this conversation. So today we’ll confront our fears and confess our secrets, then tomorrow we’ll fly to New York with a clean slate. No longer needing to avoid our past, but ready to embrace our future.

“Do I smell something baking?”

“Cinnamon rolls. Those Pillsbury ones, the kind you love so much.”

“Really? Brian, that’s so, so unexpected.”

“I knew you’d be hungry and we don’t really have much food here. So I picked up a few things.”

“Umm. The coffee smells good too.”

“I’ll get you a cup. The rolls should be done in a few minutes.”

“You’re being awfully sweet. What’s going on?”

Is it possible that he really doesn’t remember? Either way, I want us to have a special day together. I want him to know I’m not going to avoid the hard conversations anymore. I want him to feel he can always talk to me about anything, to know I’ll always be here for him.

He reaches out and takes my arm. “Wait… Aren’t you forgetting something?”

I look at him, wondering what it is I’m forgetting. He lowers his eyes and mine follow. Yep, I seem to have forgotten something alright. The duvet is tented by his engorged penis, and there’s a wet spot growing before my eyes. I lean in and kiss him deeply, then I lift the blankets and climb underneath. He arches his back, moaning as I take him into my mouth. My tongue swishes around his crown, and across his slit as his hands start grasping fists full of my hair.

I run my lips down his shaft, then all the way back up and over his ridge, creating suction, and then a little pop as my lips slip off his dick. Then I capture him again, my tongue caressing his sensitive skin as I glide back down. Once again he arches his back and this time I slip my hand under his ample bottom. After coating my fingers with lube I slide my finger to his rosebud. Circling around, his opening flexes and welcomes the intrusion. Sucking his cock, and stroking his prostate, he’s soon rocking himself against me, and then he shoots his sweet cream down my throat. His hands are still tugging my hair as he holds my head in place, riding out his orgasm.

As I feel his body relax and return to earth, I lift the covers to see his glowing smile. Our eyes lock, and I can’t help being thankful that I finally came to my senses and married this amazing man. Just then the timer dings, and the demanding little shit nudges me out from under the blankets, wanting his sweet rolls in bed.

“Yes, Dear…”

I hear him chuckling, asking if he’s “queen for a day.”

“You’re a fucking queen every day!”

“I return with a tray in hand carrying a carafe of coffee, his cinnamon rolls and a tube of extra frosting.”

“You bought me extra frosting?”

“I didn’t want have to make a second trip down the block when you pouted about needing more…”

“You’re the best husband ever.”

I lean in and kiss him, secretly loving the taste of his icing-covered lips. I’d never be caught dead eating pastries, but I’ll lick his lips and let him feed me little bites of his, while complaining about the calories. The noises he’s making while eating his cinnamon rolls is comparable to those he makes when I’m eating him, and he looks like he might cum again.

He gazes into my eyes, reading them, and I know he’s ready to broach the subject.

“You have that look in your eyes again.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. I’ve seen it before. But now I remember the way you looked at me that night in the parking garage, and now I understand what it means.”

I blush a little, it’s so hard for me to talk about my feelings. But I’m not moving away, or changing the subject.

“Oh, you do, do you?”

He pushes me down on the bed, smothering me with kisses.

“You love me! You love me so much! You love me so much you marrrrried me!”

Remembering him saying something like that years ago, I can’t help grinning. He never forgets anything. I roll him over on his back, pinning him to the bed, kissing him fervently.  Things become heated, but I pull back, breaking the kiss. He looks confused, wondering why I stopped, but if we keep going we’ll never get to talking about the bashing. So our lovefest will have to wait until we need a break, because I’m sure this isn’t going to be an easy conversation.

“Brian? Is something wrong?”

“No. No, of course not. But I think four years is long enough for us to wait to talk about that night.”

“Oh… Then I think I need more coffee.”

“Me too.”

We get dressed in sweats and t-shirts then sit down on the sofa with our coffee.

“I’m not sure where to start?”

“Why don’t I start?”

“Alright.”

“It was the day after my birthday! God! What a nightmare that was, turning thirty. It still gives me the creeps, remembering laying in that coffin!”

“Anyways. I was sitting at home the next night. It was too early for Babylon and I was restless. I didn’t want to meet the guys for dinner or drinks. I was smoking a joint, and I kept remembering you asking me to go to your prom, and how disappointed you were when I said no. I hated when I’d see you looking so sad, and knowing it was always me who put that frown on your face.”

“The truth was I never went to my prom. I wasn’t out and brave like you in high school. There was no way I was taking some straight chick to the prom. The last thing I wanted was for some girl thinking I was interested in her. I already had enough guys pining for me on Liberty Avenue.”

“Cynthia had just picked up my new tux from the tailor that afternoon, so it was hanging on the door to my closet. My eyes keep glancing at it, and in my stoned state of mind I started thinking about what shirt and tie would look good with it. Soon I was primping in the mirror, and I started getting excited about surprising you.”

“So, it was just a last-minute decision?”

“Yeah. But I knew when I was getting dressed it was more than that. I needed you to know how much you meant to me. I had been in denial for so long, and again my mind flashes to the night I told you I was moving to New York. You looked like I just stabbed you in the gut, and of course, I crushed your heart once again by telling you that I wouldn’t even remember you.”

“Oh God! I remember. I totally freaked out! I didn’t think I could live without you. I was totally devastated!”

“I had decided that I’d ask you to come with me, but then the job fell through.”

“You were going to ask me to move to New York with you?”

“Yeah. Things were already starting to change for me, and I realized I needed you in my life.”

“But, you never said anything.”

“It scared the hell out of me, and I was confused. You have to understand these were all new feelings for me. I didn’t recognize what it was right away.” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know it. You really loved me.”

“Yes. I loved you, you little twat.”

“So, standing in front of that mirror I decided to go your prom. I was ready to let you see the real me.”

“Wow, Brian!”

“And for that hour everything was perfect. You looked so beautiful, and your smile was beaming when you saw me. All my fears vanished, and I was ready to confess my love for you.”

“I remember that now. I remember seeing you walking towards me. You looked so handsome, and I couldn’t believe you were there, just for me. I was so proud that you were mine.”

“I took your hand and led you to the dance floor. The crowd parted like the Red Sea, as they all looked on, stunned, and in shock.”

“I remember we were the only ones on the dance floor. It was like everyone else just faded away until it was just us in the bright spotlight.”

“I admit I was pretty amazed myself. We floated across the dance floor, swaying and dipping, completely lost in each other.”

“I saw that look in your eyes then as we spun around. You held me so close, I could feel your breath on my neck.”

“It was the first time in my life that I felt happy, loved, and complete. I was ready to finally give you what you wanted. To ask you to move back into the loft. I wanted to try that couples thing. It would be just the two of us. I was really ready…”

“Oh, Brian…”

“You walked me out to my jeep. You were so happy, humming, and twirling around. I pulled you into my arms, and I knew you could read all my emotions in my eyes. I wanted to sweep you away with me, take you back to the loft and make plans for our future. But you came with Daphne, and it was only polite to be a gentleman and escort her home.”

“I pulled you into my arms, and kissed you deeply. The electricity surged between us, and I felt so much passion. I was ecstatic. I remember you saying, ‘It was the best night of my life’.”

“As you walked away, in my mind I was already making plans for later that night, when you’d return to the loft. I was going to splurge and eat carbs at midnight. I wanted to have champagne, olives, brie and French bread. And I was going to get those Godiva chocolates you love so much.”

“Really? That’s so romantic, Brian.”

“I let my mind wander for only a second, and when I looked up I saw you walking away in my rearview mirror. But then everything changed. I panicked. I tried to catch up with you. I tried to stop him. But I wasn’t fast enough, and there you were, crumpled and broken. Bleeding on the cold cement.”

Tears are flowing down Brian’s face, his voice cracking, and he’s shaking uncontrollably. Justin reaches out and takes him in his arms. He holds him close, letting him release all those tears he’s held in for so long.  He realizes now that it wasn’t just him that needed so desperately to talk about that night. Brian needed it too, maybe even more then him.

Brian buries his face in the crook of Justin’s neck, as his emotions take him back in time to that place he never wanted to revisit. But as he lets go of all his pain, he’s comforted by Justin’s embrace. Maybe for the first time in years, he’ll be able to let go of all his agony and shame.

He hears Justin whisper, “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault, Brian. You have to believe that.”

“But I should have been paying attention. I should have stopped him. I was supposed to protect you, and I failed.”

“I love that you wanted to protect me, but you can’t continue to blame yourself. You’re not responsible for Chris Hobbs’s actions. You have to let this go, Brian. It’s not healthy to carry around all this guilt.”

“But I am… Everyone told me it was all my fault, and they were right. I almost killed you, and they all hated me for it. They didn’t want me around, they all blamed me. None of them ever cared about me and what I was going through. Just like always, I wasn’t allowed to have feelings. I had to suffer in silence all alone.”

“Brian… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. They were only looking out for you. Protecting you from big bad Brian.”

“You’re the last person I needed protection from.”

“Yeah. Well, they didn’t see it that way. They kindly asked me to not to come to the hospital to see you, it upset your mom too much. Then they criticized, and blamed me when you asked for me, and I wasn’t there.”

“Brian. I didn’t know they asked you to stay away.”

“Your mom hated me. She blamed me for everything that happened. It was like the beginning all over again. I ruined her baby. I was a monster, and she was determined to keep me away from you. But I showed her.”

“What do you mean?”

Brian shakes his head, realizing he let that slip. “Nothing! Nothing at all.”

“Brian?”

“Let’s take a break. I can hear your stomach growling.”

“Do you want to go to the diner?”

“Nope. I’m going to make you breakfast.”

“Brian. I need to eat something hearty before I polish off the rest of the cinnamon rolls.”

“Just sit tight, Sunshine, or better yet, pour us some juice.”

“We have juice here?”

“I told you I went to the market down the street.”

So Brian starts making breakfast, as Justin sets the table and pours orange juice for himself and guava juice for Brian.

“Is that bacon I smell?”

“Yes, dear…”

“Oh my God! I really am queen for a day.”

“Yeah. Well, don’t blame me when you gain twenty pounds.”

“Oh, I doubt that will happen. With your sexual appetite, I’ll have it all worked off in no time.”

Twenty minutes later Brian sets a plate down in front of Justin with hash browns, bacon and a cheese omelet. Surprisingly he’s having the same breakfast. He needs his strength as they continue to delve into their painful past.

TBC…