Brian watched Justin sleep for awhile.  Laying there in restful slumber, he appeared to not have a care in the world.  Wishing that were the truth, but knowing they had a long way to go, Brian was still thankful that Justin was physically unharmed.  It appeared that Justin was regaining his memories and Brian was ecstatic that Justin remembered the GLC show.  Hoping that his memories of later shows and events would come as quickly and easily, Brian wondered if Justin would ask more pressing questions of their relationship.

Watching Justin sleep made Brian realize he too could use some sleep as he had not slept well since he went to New York.  Walking to his bedroom, he kicked off his shoes and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would grace him as easily as it did Justin.  Soon he and Justin were both sleeping, albeit not together but at least closer than they had in the last several weeks.

Brian woke after an hour and it took a few moments to remember why he was sleeping in the middle of the day.  Quickly he glanced at Justin who was still asleep on the couch.  Brian used the restroom, splashing water on his face to fully awaken his body and returned to the living area. 

Bjbjbbjbjbjb

The pain pill quickly took effect sending Justin into dream land.I'm in a gallery and there are waiters serving champagne.  Brian is beside me, but people are coming up to me to tell me how wonderful I am, how talented. 

I'm at another party and there are a lot of people.  I look around and don't recognize anyone.  I look around and there is no Brian.  I'm alone. They keep coming up to me and telling me how excited they are about the movie.  I smile and tell them I'm excited too and I feel lucky to be here. 

I'm in the Loft, but its empty, except the bed- the walls are bare and there is no furniture.  Brian is here with me and he seems happy.

I'm standing by a house with a gun down the front of my pants- there is a guy next to me, urging me to walk up to the house-  I go and I confront Chris- put the gun in his mouth- Shit!

Brian and I are in bed, he's lying on top of me and I slip out from under him, wiping away the tears as I get dressed.  I grab my duffle and quietly leave.

Justin moans and yells "why?" several times but as long as he's not screaming Brian leaves him.  Brian recognizes the signs of a nightmare; he's seen them often enough, but Justin is just dreaming.  Justin thrashes and flails and sits upright screaming when he is having a nightmare, but today he is just quietly asking questions.I wish I knew what he was dreaming, but then again, if I knew I might not want to fill in the blanks.  Hopefully the dreams are memories that will help him fill in the blanks.

Brian turns on his computer and logs into Kinnetik to check his mail.  He responds to several requests from Cynthia and Ted, but thankfully that front is quiet.  He is eternally grateful for both of them and their willingness to run his business.  Hopefully the crisis will end soon and he can return to work, but Justin comes first.  Justin comes first.  I never thought I would see the day when I would think it or even say it, but it's true.  The blond twat is more important than 100 accounts at Kinnetic.

Brian sees Justin as he sits up on the couch and runs his hands over his face.  Looking at him, he says, "Hi... feel better?"

Justin stretches his arms over his head and brings his legs to the floor.  "My head still hurts, but its better." His stomach growls so loudly that Brian hears it from where he is sitting.

"And let me guess- you're starving," he teases as he walks over to Justin. 

Raising his eyebrows in semi guilty agreement, he asks, "The diner?  I want a milkshake."

"Sure."  Brian helps Justin up from the couch and as they come face to face, Brian gives Justin a caress on the cheek.  Automatically Justin leans into the caress and brings his lips up to Brian's giving him a quick kiss. Brian looks at Justin, seeing the tentative unspoken question but chooses to ignore it for now.

Justin's stomach takes that moment to growl even louder than before and Brian backs up.  "Guess we need to feed the beast." 

"Brian...."

He turned around and looked at Justin, hoping that Justin will ask him about their relationship. 

Justin hesitated.  He wanted to talk to Brian about his dreams, but he wasn't sure.  Brian had told him he would be truthful with him, but some of those dreams were pretty disturbing and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know the truth.  Still, he was comfortable in the Loft and thought this was a good as place as any to spend the afternoon.  "I've changed my mind.  Can we order in?  I don't feel like being around a lot of people." Justin said.

"Sure.  What do you have in mind?"

"Pizza? It's before 7:00."  Justin teased, remembering Brian's no carb rule.

"What did you say?"

"Pizza.  It's before 7:00.  You don't like to eat carbs after 7:00.  You say it makes you fat," Justin said with confidence.  "I'm right, aren't I?  You do say that?  I'm not imaging things?"

"Yes.  I don't like to eat carbs after 7:00.  What kind of pizza do you want?  I really shouldn't ask.  You always want the meat lovers pizza- heart attack on a plate- but I do appreciate your love of meat," he said with tongue in cheek.

Brian picked up his phone and ordered the pizza and returned to the living area. "It will be 40 minutes. Want to watch TV while we wait?"  Brian grabbed the remote and started to push the button.

"Not really.  I had some weird dreams.  I think the events actually happened.  They seemed very real."

Hoping that this would not be a second round of 'why did you?' Brian nodded his head for Justin to continue.

Justin looked around the Loft, seeing its fully furnished contents.  "I dreamed the Loft was empty but you and I are, were here.  You were smiling.  But now I look around and the place isn't empty."

Brian nods his head, but doesn't explain.  He doesn't want to confuse Justin.

"It's a real memory?"

Thinking back to that time, Brian remembers Stockwell and the killing.  He also remembers that Justin stood by him when all the "gang" wouldn't believe that "it was only business".  Justin always had his back. "Yes.  It's a real memory.  The loft was bare.  Everything was taken away."

Closing his eyes, he pictured the dream sequence in his mind. Movers were taking Brian's stuff away, but Brian was calm. He wasn't ranting and raving.  The name Stockwell came to mind.  That sounded right.  "Stockwell..."

Brian nodded yes again.

Justin walked to the 52 inch television. "You've replaced the 50" plasma TV," Justin said as this had some significance.

"I always knew you were a size queen."

"He caught us- on the floor?"

Shit. Its showtime. "Yes."

"That was after the prom?  I wasn't living here though?"

"Right and right." Come on Justin, just push a little further and figure this out.  I need you in my arms and under me and inside me.  I need to smell your unique scent, turpentine and honey shampoo, although I could do without the turpentine.  But right now, I would love to smell turpentine as that would mean you remembered not only us but the Justin Taylor the rest of the world knows- the artist.

"Brian... "

The buzzer rang announcing the arrival of the pizza.  Brian buzzed the delivery person up, gave him a tip and returned to the kitchen.  Taking out two plates he put two pieces of pizza on each and got out two waters from the fridge.  Justin sat on the bar stool and Brian did the same. 

Justin had pizza sauce on the side of his mouth and Brian could not resist wiping it off.  Justin leaned in to Brian and used his tongue to swipe off a little sauce on the edge of Brian's mouth.  Brian moaned at the action.

Justin got the reaction he wanted and reached out for Brian's hand pulling him off the stool. Walking to the bedroom, Justin sits on the bed and pats the place beside him. Turning toward Brian, he reaches out to kiss him again, but this time he opens his mouth, licking Brian's lips. Brian's tongue reaches out to meet Justin's and they dance.  Brian quickly wraps his arms around Justin and they fall backward on the bed.  Inhaling the scent of his partner, Brian breathes deeply.  Tasting the pizza from earlier is just icing on the cake so to speak as he tastes Justin's essence. 

"Justin...."

They fumble with each other's clothing and soon have divested their shirts; their chests touching and inflaming each other's skin.  Neither man wants to stop the joining, but Justin pulls away and looks toward Brian's crotch, eyeing the bulge that he felt as he was kissing Brian.  He caresses the cock through the pants and starts to unbutton Brian's jeans; Brian eagerly rises up so Justin can pull them off. 

Pulling off his underwear at the same time, Brian's cock springs free and Justin bends down to worship it.  Opening his mouth, he deep throats Brian and swirls his tongue over the shaft as he comes back up.  Licking the sensitive head, he plays with the slit, enjoying Brian's moans of enjoyment.  Using his hand, he fondles Brian's balls as he deep throats him again.  Brian is lost in the moment, forgetting for a while the difficulties they have endured in the past and especially the last few days.  His world consists of his dick and Justin's talented hand and tongue and mouth. 

Justin stops pleasuring Brian's cock and slides up Brian's body to kiss him again.  Brian sighs at the loss of those luscious lips around his cock, but is consumed again by Justin's tongue exploring his mouth.  Reaching down, he undoes Justin's pants and without breaking their kiss, Justin divests himself of his pants and underwear as well.  The two men are naked, Justin lying on top of Brian as Brian pushes his cock against Justin's.  They thrust and hump each other like horny teens.

Brian wants more and hopes Justin does too.  Reaching for the lube and the condoms in the drawer, he stops his kiss and motions at the objects he has placed on the bed.  Justin grins and returns to kissing Brian and moves down toward his cock again.  Lying on his side as he licks and swirls, he feels Brian take his cock into his mouth as well.  Justin loves to 69 with Brian.  Both men have become expert at enjoying and giving pleasure without forfeit of either. 

Brian feels his balls tighten and the tingling feeling in his spine and lower back announce his impending orgasm.  Placing his hand on Justin's chin he signals that he is coming, hoping that he will recognize the implication.  Justin gives him one last lick and suck and removes his mouth as he uses his hands to bring Brian to finish.  Ropes of cum shoot over Justin's fingers and he leans over to share them with Brian.  Afterwards, Brian returns to Justin's cock and quickly finishes Justin as well. 

Neither man is sated and they quickly return to kissing as they wait for their erections to return.  When Brian feels his cock grow to its full 9 inches, he grabs the condom and tears the wrapper off with his teeth.  After placing it on his cock, he pushes Justin onto his stomach and Justin quickly gets on all fours eagerly awaiting Brian.  Quickly preparing his partner with the lube, he breaches the first barrier and hears the most delightful sound from Justin's lips.  Justin pushes back, signaling his readiness and Brian slowly eases in and out of the tight hole.

Both men enjoy the leisurely joining, but after Brian hits his prostate with each thrust, Justin pushes back to meet Brian's strokes.  Brian reaches in front and grabs Justin's cock as he times each thrust with a pull. Quickly both men are moments away from completion.  Brian speeds up and shoots into the condom and yells, "Justinnnnnn."

While Justin is voicing his own cry of, "Briannnnn."

Moments after shooting, Brian removes himself from Justin and lies on the bed, sated and happy.  "That was hot."

"Yeah."

Brian reached for the cigarettes on the night stand and grabbed the lighter.  Sitting up in bed, he lit a cigarette and enjoyed the smoke.  Justin grabbed the cigarette and inhaled, but coughed as he hadn't smoked except for the other night in front of Daphne's.

They sat in relative silence.  Brian not wanting to analyze what happened and Justin wanting just the opposite. 

"You're here because you want to be." Justin said the now familiar phrase out loud. Justin took Brian's free hand and squeezed it. A warmth came over Justin, Brian and him-

"Why?"

"Why what?"  Brian thought of a thousand questions that Justin would want answered and 995 of them he really didn't want to answer.

"If you wanted me here, why didn't you bring me with you?  Are we having some kind of argument?  Are you mad at me?"

Brian inwardly sighed.  These were two of the 995 questions he didn't want to answer as the answers were complicated.  Yes, he was furious with Justin but that had nothing to do with why he did not take him home. 

"Justin....  I didn't bring you with me because you didn't remember."

"Remember the hot sex we have?"

Alarm bells rang in Brian's head.  Shit.  He still doesn't remember us.  He thinks damn maybe he does remember.

"What do you remember, besides the hot sex?" Brian asked, hoping his instincts were wrong.  He wanted Justin here by his side as he regained more of his memories.  Although it wouldn't be so bad now since Justin initiated the sex, it wasn't like he was taking advantage of him.  But this was not what he wanted.  He wanted his partner back, wanted the man who knew that Brian Kinney cared.

Justin was quiet for a few moments.  "I remember Stockwell.  And in my dream, I saw us lying on the bed and me leaving quietly.  We were naked, but then I left. I kissed you and I felt the tears as they fell down my cheek."  Turning toward Brian he saw the anguish on his face.  "Why did I leave, Brian?  Did we have a fight?  I don't think so since we were sleeping together. Can you please tell me?"

The one question that I can't answer.  Shit! How do I get out of this one? 

TBC