Brian stepped out of bed, walking to the bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth to clean the two men. Returning to the bed he carefully wiped Justin and then himself and returned the cloth to the bathroom.  <i>Shit.  That didn't take nearly as long as I'd hoped.</i>

Looking at Brian, Justin eagerly is waiting for an answer.  "Brian?"

"We didn't have an argument."

"Why did I leave and why was I crying?"  Justin asked, happy to have another memory restored.  "Did you push me off another Kinney cliff?"

Brian winced at Justin's words, the pain evident in his question.  Justin always could twist the knife deeper than anyone, but that was because he actually cared what Justin thought of him. 

"No.  I did not push you off another Kinney cliff." The minute he said those words, he realized the half truth in them.  He had listened to Lindsay and he had encouraged Justin to go to New York to follow his artistic dream.  But now, hindsight had him questioning if this really was a good choice. After all, he was obviously struggling with his finances or he would not have been stripping for a damn company.  He winced slightly as he said the words, knowing that he didn't push Justin away, just encouraged a difficult path that maybe wasn't as well thought out as it should have been.

"Was this a recent event?"

"Not really."

"How long ago did it happen?"

Brian was tired of playing 20 questions with Justin and he knew from the questions that Justin did not really remember the event, but rather it was a vague picture.  "Justin.  We agreed to not play 20 questions.  It isn't going to help you remember any more.  The memories will come when they come."  Brian leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips.

"But, how can I remember if you won't tell me anything?"  Justin pleaded and got out of bed to walk around the room. 

Brian ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly.  Sex was supposed to be the end all, be all, and solve all their problems.  Obviously the powers that be weren't  going to resolve the situation quickly.    Brian patted the bed beside him and motioned for Justin to return to his place.

Eyeing Brian, Justin decided to join him. 

"Can I stay with you?  I did at least figure out that we're together."  Justin smiled a little, a mix of want and need.

Brian didn't answer him, but instead leaned over to kiss him, exploring his mouth with his tongue and rejoicing in the fact his partner was in bed with him again.

After the kiss, Justin said, "I guess that's a yes."

Brian didn't answer him just raised his eyebrows.

"So... I remember the Prom and Rage and Ethan and that we're together.  I know you have a son, although I can't seem to picture him in my mind, just the pictures I saw at my mom's."

"Yep.  You're memory is improving."

"I know you don't want to play 20 questions, but would you be willing to listen to some of the dreams I was having.  I really think they are real; they were too vivid to just be dreams."

"Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

"I saw myself putting a gun in Chris Hobbs' mouth.  Did I really do that?"

"Shit, Justin!"  Brian sat up in bed and ran his hand through his hair several times before answering.  "That damn Cody Bell!"

"So I really did that?"  Justin asked incredulously.

"'I don't know if you did or not, but you probably did if you're seeing it in a dream.  It's too fucked up not to be real." Brian frowned, making a large grimace on his face.

"You don't know?" Justin asked incredulously.  He thought Brian had all the answers and was now slightly confused.

Brian sat back on the pillows, hating this discussion.  He really didn't want to know everything that had happened in Justin's life.  After all, a little mystery was always good for a relationship.  Secretly he was happy that Justin might have actually done what he said.  He knew he thought of doing something similar many times, especially when Justin was having a bad day and his hand was really cramping. "No.  I don't."

"Weren't we together at the time?"Justin asked, trying to remember the missing pieces in his life.

Brian hated seeing Justin struggle with his memories and try to fit the pieces in his head into a coherent timeline. While he didn't want to play 20 questions with Justin, he didn't think retelling the events were in his best interest either . "My turn to ask you some questions.  Tell me about your dream.  What did you see?"

"I saw me and a guy walking the streets.  We were harassing couples who were making out.  I had a gun down my pants and we walked to Chris' house.  The other guy is egging me on, telling me I want to do this. I go up to Chris just as he is getting out of his car.  We're in his front yard.  I tell him to kiss the gun.  He does and then I tell him to open his mouth and I put it in there."  Justin slows down as he is retelling the dream or memory.  He starts to cry.  "Did I really do this Brian?  I can't believe I would stick a gun in Chris' mouth.  I hate him but...."

Brian gathers Justin in his arms, gently rubbing circles on his back as he cries.  They are together like that for a period of time until Justin's tears slow down.  As the tears end, Brian tilts his face upwards and gently kisses him.  "I'm here," he whispers in his ear. 

"You know this memory thing may not be all it's cracked up to be; especially if I'm going to remember crap like that.  I think some memories might be better off buried."

"Yeah, unfortunately there's no changing what memories come and what don't."

"God, this sucks. All these memories, dreams, whateverthefuck they are, I just... even some of the memories still feel like dreams, and I don't want the good dreams to feel like just dreams."

 "As much as I'd love to continue your trip down memory lane, we need to shower and go pick up Gus.  I promised Linds that I'd watch him while she went to the GLC," Brian said as he got out of bed and walked to the bathroom.  Turning on the water, he waited until it was a good temperature and then got in.  Justin followed him into the shower and they enjoyed a little water play as they soaped and washed each other. 

"We do this a lot.  I love taking a shower with you," Justin said as he both made a statement and asked Brian for affirmation at the same time.

"Saves on the water bill."

They both chuckled at that. Justin allowed Brian to wash his hair and then he soaped Brian's chest and then followed the lean body down to the wiry curls of his pubes.  Opening his mouth he twirled his tongue around the mushroom head and fondled Brian's balls.  Gaining a familiar rhythm, he quickly brought Brian to orgasm and watched as the cum sprayed on the shower walls. 

Brian turned Justin around and grabbed the lube from the soap dish and prepared Justin for joining for the third time that afternoon.  He covered his cock with a condom and breached Justin gently.  When Justin pushed back he started a familiar rhythm and quickly came again. 

They finished their shower and dressed again. 

As they were leaving the Loft, Justin asked, "Do I see Gus a lot?  I mean will he know who I am?  If not, you could leave me here.  I'm comfortable in the Loft."

"Gus knows who you are.  Don't worry.  Now come on, twat.  We're going to be late and I do not want to listen to Lindsay bitch about it."

"Ok."

After getting in the car, Justin sat for a little while before talking.  "Do you know who the guy was in my dream?  I mean, shit that was so fucked up. Why would I do that?"

Looking at the dashboard, Brian debated pulling over and having another discussion with Justin, but decided he really didn't have that luxury. "If I promise to talk about it later, will you let it rest?"

"Okay.  I know you won't break your promise and I will hold you to it."

"Twat.  I'm sure you will."  Brian smiled, things were improving.

They pulled up to Mel and Lind's place and parked the car in the driveway. Walking to the front door, Brian knocked and Lindsay opened the door.  She reached out to give Brian a kiss and hesitated when she got to Justin.

"You can hug me too, Linds. I promise, I won't break," Justin teased.

Laughing at his playfulness, she eagerly hugged Justin and ushered them in.  "How are you, Justin?"

"I'm okay.  Still fuzzy on some details of my life in the last six years, but I seem to be remembering a lot of stuff pretty fast."

Lindsay smiled a half smile and said, "Good.  I'll go tell Gus you're here.  He was busy playing some video game."  Lindsay turned and went to find Gus, feeling a mixture of relief that Justin seemed fine, but worried what he did and didn't remember.  There had been many tense times between them in the past and she really didn't want to relive those again.  On the other hand, she hoped he would heal fast so he could return to New York where he belonged.  He had a better chance of making a life as an artist if he was there instead of here with Brian.

Gus came barreling down the stairs a few moments later, making a beeline for his dad and Justin.  "Daddy!!!"  Gus ran into Brian's legs and Brian bent down to give him a hug and then straightened his body.  "Momma says I get to eat dinner with you tonight. Can we go to see Grandma Debbie and have milkshakes? I haven't had a milkshake in a long time."  Looking eagerly at his dad for confirmation of his request, he noticed Justin standing next to him.  "Justin.  Are you coming with us?  You love milkshakes and Grandma Debbie makes the best in the world.  That's what you told me."  He reached over to hug Justin and Justin leaned down to allow the hug.

Brian really wanted to avoid the diner and Debbie's endless questions as well as who knew what information she might provide; however, he wanted to make Gus happy and so far all the memories Justin had today were positive.  Making a quick decision, he said, "Sure, Sonny Boy. We can head over to the diner."

Lindsay looked at the Brian and Gus, loving the resemblance between father and son.  At least, Brian had a positive relationship with Gus and she thought it ironic that Justin had encouraged Brian to have an active role in Gus' life.  Justin, who changed Brian forever was now changed himself.  For Brian's sake, she hoped this was only temporary.  Bending down, she gave Gus a kiss and said, "Be good for Daddy and Justin.  Mommy will come by tonight to take you home."

"Okay, Mommy.  I'll be good."

Gus got in to the car and put on his seat belt and watched as Brian and Justin got in the front.  "Can we go to the park on Saturday?  Momma and Mommy are always busy doing stuff and I want to play on the big slide."

Saturday was two days away and Brian had no idea what his life would look like at that time.  It was disconcerting to think that he had no plans for just two days in the future, but circumstances changed.  Hating to disappoint Gus, he answered, "Maybe.  I think we can try.  Why don't you call me on Friday after you get home from school?  You remember how to call me, right Sonny Boy?"

"Yeah.  I hit 1 on the speed dial on the phone.  I remember we practiced it a lot. Mommy showed me how to hit 2 for her and 3 for Momma and 4 for Grandma Debbie."  Gus grinned at his knowledge.  "Tommy Baker says that he hits 1 for his dad too.  Isn't that cool?"

"Yes it is.  We're almost to the diner.  Are you hungry?"

"Silly Daddy.  You don't have to be hungry for a milkshake.  They're treats.  That's what Justin always tells me.  Right Justin?"

"Sure," Justin answers.  He wished he remembered more of their conversations, but knows that Gus wouldn't understand. Hoping that Gus doesn't ask anything of him that requires former memories, he helps Gus out of the car.

The bell jingles and Debbie looks up from her place at the cash register. 

"Sunshine."  She walked over and engulfed Justin in a huge hug.  She noticed that Justin did not return the hug whole heartedly, but she had talked to Michael so she wasn't going to call him on it.

"Gus.  I've got a chocolate milkshake with your name on it.  Why don't you go sit in the back booth and I'll bring it out in a few minutes."

Gus smiled widely and Brian and Justin followed him to the back corner booth.  Justin took out the menu, looking it over to decide what he would like to order.  When Debbie came over he ordered a cheeseburger and a coke while Brian ordered a turkey sandwich on whole wheat.  Gus wanted a burger and she gave him a big kiss after she took their order.

"I had the best day at school today, Dad.  We got to play soccer at recess and I made a goal.  Playing at the park is good.  Can we play this weekend?  Justin, after me and Dad play soccer, we can go to your room and paint.  You haven't been in town for awhile and I want to show you what I learned in art class.  You know it's so neat that I play soccer with Dad and we paint together. I'm the luckiest boy in the world." 

Gus stopped talking long enough to take a big drink from his milkshake and then started up again. 

"Momma and Mommy are being nice these days.  They don't seem to yell at each other so much.  Did you talk to them Dad?  It always seems that when you talk to them, they are much nicer to each other.  Jenny is still a real pain.  She constantly goes in my room and plays with my stuff.  Girls are such pains. Did your little sister do that too, Justin?  I want to keep a lock on my door, but Momma won't let me.  Says silly stuff like what if there is a fire.  I'm hungry.  I can't wait for Grandma Debbie to come with our food."  Looking at his dad's face go a little pale and Justin do the same, he asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

Brian didn't know what he was feeling.  He didn't count on Gus saying anything about Justin's painting and how they paint together, but he knew that with his luck that would happen.  He could at least tell "the gang" to be careful but Gus was only 8 years old and what did he know of Amnesia or all the other things that made his and Brian's relationship unique.  He couldn't be mad at Gus but he wasn't sure how Justin would react to the words or if he would. 

Justin had remembered sketching Gus as a child and mentioning his mom coming to his GLC show, so maybe this wasn't the disaster that it could be.  Maybe Sonny Boy's innocent remark would trigger a flood of memories for Justin. 

"No Gus, you didn't do anything wrong," Brian assured the little boy.  "It looks like Debbie is bringing our food.  Why don't you eat?"

"Great.  I'm really hungry.  I traded my tuna salad sandwich for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I wish Momma would let me eat peanut butter and jelly.  It tastes way better."

"I used to eat peanut butter and jelly at lunch all the time.  My friend Daphne and I would laugh at the other kids since they would spend half their lunch period trading sandwiches and we would be playing on the playground since we brought stuff we liked," Justin said. 

"Is that how you met Daphne?" Brian asked, not ever thinking about the subject before today.

Justin thought for a few moments.  "I guess.  I've known her since kindergarten and we both love PB&J's so I guess that's right.  I'll have to ask her on Wednesday when we see each other."    Justin bit into his cheeseburger and enjoyed the greasy burger.

Gus finished his burger and his milkshake.  "Justin, since it's too late to play soccer, can we draw when we get back to Dad's place?"

Justin could feel something niggling in his brain, trying to push through, but couldn't figure it out.  "Sure.  I bet you draw way better than I do," he said as he ruffled  Gus's hair.

"I want to be an ar...." Gus started to say, but was interrupted by Brian.

"Time to go."  Brian stood up and grabbed the check. 

Gus and Justin looked at each other, but neither one spoke as they followed Brian to the cash register.  Both seemed to understand that Brian cut them off for a reason, and even though they didn't know what it was, this was Brian... so they were quiet.

<i>Shit! Shit!  Now I understand the saying, ‘Out of the mouths of babes.</i>"

TBC