Looking at his partner of almost three years and the man he loved, he saw the hunger in his eyes.  Justin really wanted to "fix" this and Brian, as always, wanted to help.  He'd followed his instincts so far and they'd been good. 

"Okay."

Opening his mouth to try to convince Brian to answer his question, he was a little taken a back at his answer.  "Okay?  You're going to tell me?"

"Yes.  Well...." Brian hesitated.

"I knew there was a catch," Justin said as he looked at Brian's eyes, the part of Brian's face where he could not hide his true intentions.

"I'll take you there."

"We're going to New York?"

"Justin....20 Questions...."

Understanding Brian's meaning, he nodded his head and drank the last of his Coke.  "I'll be right back."  Justin's country club manners made him excuse himself and he pushed his chair back and headed toward the restroom. 

Taking out his phone, he quickly dialed Jennifer.  "I'm taking him to Britin."

"I trust you, Brian.  Whatever you think is best."

Brian smiled at the words.  "Funny, he said the same thing.  Gotta go, he'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay."  Jennifer ended the call and smiled at her phone.  Brian was nothing but a risk taker and it had always landed him where he wanted to be.  She hoped that this risk paid off like all the others. Either way, she knew that Justin was in good hands.

Justin returned from the restroom and Brian paid the bill.  As usual, he left a sizable tip and the waitress smiled at him as she told him, "Come back and see us any time and ask for Brittany."

Brian smiled, feeling generous and watched Justin walk out of the diner and toward the car, enjoying the view.  Knowing that Brian was watching, Justin put a little emphasis into his walk, but kept it light as they were not in the ‘gay' part of town.  Justin waited while Brian unlocked the car and he got inside. 

They'd been driving for about 10 minutes when Justin said, "I'm excited to see my studio.  Maybe it will bring back some memories for me."

"I hope so.  But Justin even if it doesn't bring back memories...."

Looking at Brian, he saw the pained expression in his eyes. Brian's eyes were the window to his thoughts.  Justin had always wondered about the saying ‘a person's eyes are windows into the soul' but now he understood it perfectly.  Brian could not hide the expression in his eyes.  He could try to hide his feelings by not talking, but Justin could see his eyes and he couldn't hide those. 

"It bothers you that I don't remember.  I'm sorry."

"Sorry's bullshit.  It doesn't change anything."

"No apologies.  No regrets," Justin said, stopping for a minute as he hunted in his memories where the words came from.  "You used to say that all the time.  Do you still believe that?"

Brian raised his eyebrows and sighed loudly.  "Sometimes.  Still doesn't change anything, but yeah, I do regret stuff."

Watching the scenery as they drove through Pittsburgh, Justin tried to digest Brian's words.  He still felt ‘sorry' was bullshit but he did regret things.  "What do you regret?"

Brian tightened the wheel under his hands.  "Justin...."

"20 questions?"

Brian shook his head.  "No.  I have many regrets and most of them involve you."

"Okay," Justin said, unsure how to respond to the words.  "Did we ever talk about the regrets?"

"Not really." Brian really hated this.  All his faults were being laid out on a table for Justin to see and he feared that maybe Justin wouldn't like what he found. 

"I guess they're not important if we're still together," Justin said as he listened to Brian wasn't saying.  "I mean.  Everybody has regrets; it's part of being human and I'm sure you have your reasons for doing what you do.  I guess that if most of them involve me it's because I'm important to you.  If I wasn't important then you wouldn't regret anything."  Justin smiled at his logic and was happy that he came to that conclusion. 

"Twat." Brian smiled at Justin's logic and began to release his tight grip on the steering wheel.  Maybe this will work out.

"My studio is really far away.  Isn't it a pain for me to drive out here all the time?"

"Not really.  It's far away from ‘the family' so they don't tend to drop in unannounced.  It gives you an opportunity to work uninterrupted."  Brian didn't bother to add that it kept Justin from going off in the middle of the night when they were staying at the Loft.  The reason remained the same- it was too far, but the result was Brian got to keep him in his bed when he was in town. 

Brian signaled to get off the highway and started the last bit of their journey.  Justin's memory had improved a lot in the days since the accident; more than he thought he would, but not as much as he'd like.  With trepidation, he made the last turn on to the lane where Britin was located.  Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Justin for signs of recognition. Brian pulled into the driveway and turned off the car.

"Britin.  I named it? Right?"

Brian's heart soared when he heard the words.  "Britin.  I always thought it was very original - the first three letters of my name and the last of yours.  It belongs to both of us."

Following Brian to the front door, they walked in when he unlocked it.  Looking around the interior Justin's smile lit up.

Walking to the fireplace, he turned toward Brian, "You asked me to marry you.  Said I was your prince." Justin watched as Brian's face lit up at his words. Walking toward Brian, Justin engulfed Brian in a huge hug, wrapping his arms around his waist as he pushed his cheek into his chest. "You made love to me on the floor."  Justin pointed to the spot.  "Make love to me again, Brian.  I want to feel you inside me.  Please." Justin kissed Brian, found his lips; licking them softly, but then opening his mouth to taste Brian's tongue as it caressed his own. 

Brian returned the kiss and bent his knees as he brought both of them to the floor.  The kisses were gentle, full of the love the two men felt for each other.  This time, Brian was making love to Justin, truly connecting the two together.  No longer did he wonder if Justin remembered them as a couple.  The request was one he was happy to fulfill.  He didn't worry that ‘making love' was for lesbians as today he was shouting inside and out that he was in love with Justin and their joining was lovemaking at its finest. 

Starting with Justin's shirt, he unclothed the man beside him as Justin helped disrobe him as well. They lay together, Brian on top of Justin, their cocks grinding together waiting release but neither eager to bring the lovemaking to its natural conclusion.  They kissed and tumbled, hands exploring as new lovers as in Justin's mind they were not well acquainted.  Brian stopped for a moment to find his pants and grab the ever present condom and packet of lube out of his pocket.  Preparing Justin quickly, he then handed the condom to Justin and motioned toward his erect cock.  Justin put the condom on and they were soon joined together.  Neither could wait to prolong the inevitable and soon were shouting each other's name as they came within seconds of each other.

"I love you," Brian whispered as he kissed Justin on the neck and inhaled his scent again.

"I love you," Justin sighed as he began to feel complete for the first time since he woke up in the hospital.   

They lay there waiting as their hearts returned to normal, gently caressing and kissing each other.  As Brian felt his cock deflate, he sadly removed it as he held the condom.  Justin let out a sigh of disappointment as he grabbed Brian and kissed him deeply on the mouth. Brian quickly tied the condom in a knot and tossed it out of the way, and then returned to lie next to Justin. After a short respite, Justin sat up and looked around the mansion.

" As wonderful as that was,  ... I thought we were going to see my studio?"

Brian sat up as well and wrapped his arms around Justin from behind.  He had his legs on either side of Justin and Justin's back was to his chest.  Decisions... he'd never made so many snap decisions in his life and he hated this feeling of uncertainty.  He hated wondering if one wrong move would throw everything in his face, everything that he'd work for and hoped for gone within a moment because he had made a wrong move. 

"It's complicated."

Feeling Justin tense at his words, he squeezed his chest and rested his head against the unbelievably softness of Justin's blond hair, effectively calming the young man. "Your studio is here or one of your studio's.  Let's get dressed and I'll show you around.  Maybe that will help." Brian kissed Justin on his neck and then stood up, going to his discarded clothing and getting dressed.  When he finished, he saw Justin had almost finished dressing as well. 

"I'm ready," Justin said when Brian just stood in the living room and did not move.

Brian hadn't realized he was staring, but he decided that it was as good of a tactic of avoidance as anything.  Brian walked toward the kitchen. "This is your second favorite room.  You love to cook, even if we do have a cook that makes fabulous food." 

Justin was looking through the cabinets taking inventory.  "Are we here a lot?  There's more food here than at the Loft.  I take it we spend a lot of time here."

"Sometimes.  It's far to the nearest store so I keep it stocked.  Wouldn't want to have to stop ravishing your body to go feed you," Brian said tongue in cheek. 

Justin blushed slightly at Brian's comment but Brian didn't call him on it.  They continued the tour.  Brian showed him the media room and the study and Brian's office.  They continued the tour of the upstairs where Justin saw the master bedroom with its giant walk in shower that was even bigger than the one at the loft  as well as several bedrooms.

"The house is a mansion.  But where is my studio?"

Brian could no longer put off the inevitable and walked up the last flight of stairs to the loft area.  Opening the door, he said, "here".

Justin gasped slightly at the size of the room.  There were sky lights that allowed sun to penetrate from above and the room had windows on all three sides.  The light would always be good in here.  Several easels were set up and a full array of painting supplies were sitting out on the shelf, waiting to be used.  There was a computer in the corner as well.  Lastly, there was a futon to the side. He walked toward an easel that was set up but there were only a few streaks of red paint on the canvas.  Looking for some finished work, he found only a small painting in the corner. 

"I thought you said that I still painted and the picture in our bedroom was only a few months old.  This studio barely looks used," Justin said.  He found the futon and sat on it, slumping over, his head in his hands.

Brian's heart went out to Justin.  He knew this was not what Justin wanted.  He was hoping for a flood of memories to come to him if he saw his studio, but he knew Justin wasn't ready for New York yet.  Maybe in a few days or a week, he might be ready.  He wondered if ‘drawing with Gus' would bring back the wanted memories of himself as an artist.

Brian went to Justin, sitting next to him on the futon.  "You don't paint a lot here, not now at least."

"But you said...."

"You asked to see your studio.  I told you your studio is in New York but you also have this one.  I was hoping seeing this one would bring back some memories, but I guess I was wrong,"  Brian said as he kissed Justin on the forehead.   "Well not totally....  You did remember quite a bit downstairs if my memory serves me," Brian said tongue in cheek. 

"But why do I have a gorgeous studio here if I don't use it?"

Brian didn't know how to answer that question.  He wanted to tell him the truth. The truth being he hoped that one day Justin would return to Pittsburgh and use it regularly, but for right now it was a promise that he'd made to himself to be ready for that day whenever it happened.  Justin remembered them but the part of him that was an artist and needed to be in New York, was still locked in his subconscious. 

"You do use it when you are here."

Justin heard the underlying message in Brian's statement. "So I really do live in New York?"

"Yes.  Sunshine.  You do really live in New York."

TBC