Brian and Justin got into bed and assumed their normal sleeping position, Justin's back to Brian's chest with Brian's arm draped across his abdomen.  Neither man admitted to this pose, but it was natural for them to fall asleep this way most nights.  However, tonight Brian's brain would not stop and he lay there trying not to disturb his partner.

Brian knew Justin wanted to paint and was very excited about his opportunity to show his work, but he worried.  Justin told him he was planning on coming home since he couldn't paint very effectively with Brian in another city, but now when he is told his work is show worthy, he can suddenly paint, enough for a new show and probably a second one too.  True, Justin had arranged to paint in Pittsburgh but Brian still had his doubts about Justin's true reason to come home.  Did he really miss Brian so much?  Did something happen in New York that he hadn't told him about?  Justin had been very secretive these last few months, and Brian understood that some of the secretiveness was due to his new "job" but he wondered if there was something else.

Brian worried about the stress of traveling back and forth between New York and Pittsburgh.  He wanted to be there for Justin, especially the first few trips, make sure his memory wasn't an issue, but he knew he'd have to let him do things on his own.  Justin was a grown man with dreams and goals like anyone and Brian had to let him live those dreams, even if they failed.  He doubted they would fail; Justin was very talented and he believed in Carol's instincts.

Brian didn't worry about supporting Justin.  Financially he was fiscally sound and as long as Justin didn't change his taste -i.e. cargo pants from the Gap and underwear from shudder, the Big Q, Justin's wardrobe wouldn't be expensive.  Feeding him was another matter; he could eat twice what Brian did on any given day but he burned it off in bed so Brian didn't care. Since Justin would be living with him, there wouldn't be added housing expense.  His cell phone was already covered by Brian's plan, easier to make certain that he didn't let the number lapse if his finances got too low.  His supplies for painting could get expensive, but Brian was not that worried.  Since the girls had moved back to the states, they hadn't asked him for money for Gus in at least 6 months.  In general, supporting Justin was not a big deal and he knew even if it was, he'd make it work.

The gang's reaction to his return might not be so easy.  He was sure Lindsay would have plenty to say about his missed opportunity to be in New York, live in New York and experience the art world, but Justin had truly been there and done that and found it less than satisfying.  Still, he valued her opinion and he hoped that this time Lindsay words would not influence his partner.

Michael's reaction would be mixed; he was certain.  On the one hand, Michael would be glad that Justin returned so he could have easy access to him for making Rage.  However, he wasn't sure Michael would welcome Justin as Brian's full time partner.  Michael still had trouble believing that Brian wanted Justin in his life; despite watching Brian go to New York on a regular basis for the last two years. 

Emmett would be happy, but then again Emmett was almost always happy.  He would call Justin "baby", wrap his arms around Justin's neck and Brian would remove said arms.  Emmett would want to dance with Justin at Babylon and talk all about the latest Hollywood gossip, but voice an opinion, Brian doubted he would hear anything from Emmett on Justin's return.  Brian liked Emmett, even if he was usually way over the top for him.  Emmett told it like it was, no pretentions and Brian liked that about him, but as far as Justin went, he would be happy for him to be a part of his life again.  No questions asked.

Debbie and Jennifer would be ecstatic if Justin returned.  Both missed Justin and these days Jennifer was already a recurring person in his life without Justin being in town.  Now that Justin was returning, he knew she would become a more permanent fixture.  He decided that wasn't all bad as he envisioned they might need a referee occasionally and she appeared to see both sides of the argument.  Debbie, of course, wanted all her boys in her immediate circle and Justin being gone for the last two years did not sit well with her. 

Brian couldn't ignore Justin's return to Pittsburgh.  They'd been together for 7 years, had lived together off and on for short periods of time, but each time it never lasted.  Brian had asked Justin to move in after the Liberty Ride but that had ended in disaster; Justin leaving and setting up his own apartment in a real dump. At least now Brian admitted he loved Justin and Justin knew he loved him, but love had never been enough.  Justin needed and wanted constant reassurances and outward shows of affection to verify their relationship.  These past two years had been good for them; Brian going to New York frequently and Justin occasionally coming to Pittsburgh, but spending more than a few weeks together hadn't occurred in several years.  They got along fine in the summer when Justin had been here for a few weeks, but they both knew it was a short visit so it was like an extended vacation. 

Brian really didn't know what to expect this time around.  They were in a different place than the other times they had decided to move in together, and he fervently hoped this time he was ready; they both were ready.

And how did he feel?  Brian wasn't really sure how he felt.  He'd reluctantly agreed to Justin coming home; although Justin was good at his convincing argument, his tongue licking Brian's cock in between sentences.  He missed his partner every day.  <i> how lesbianic</i> but he missed having him in his daily life.  As much as Brian complained about the shoes in the foyer and the wet towel in the bathroom, it was a part of Justin.  Justin was as carefree as Brian was fastidious.  Justin didn't care about order and neatness and it drove Brian crazy, but Brian admired Justin's ability to not care.  Of course, all those were superficial things... the mess, the food and of course the sex.  His life had revolved around his next trip to New York or Justin's upcoming visit to the Pitts.  There would still be those, especially if he had to go to New York every few weeks, but a new routine would be developed.  He loved Justin; he'd told him that many times in the last few weeks and definitely in the last year.  He had this uneasy feeling and couldn't put his finger on it. 

His mind continued to race, thinking of their dinner with Carol ‘What aren't you telling me?' to Justin's proclamation that he was an artist.  He kept reliving the milestones in the last few weeks and savored each new discovery that Justin had uncovered.  They'd talked, really talked and some of the discussions were long overdue while others he still wished he'd never agreed to have.  But Justin was always like a dog with a bone, picking at it until it was gone.  Finally, his body won out and he fell asleep as he listened to Justin's soft breathing.

Brian wasn't the only one who had restless thoughts.  While Justin had fallen asleep easily enough, he woke shortly after Brian fell asleep.  Not wanting to disturb his partner he lay quietly as his mind raced.  He rewound the last few weeks with each discovery he'd made.  Writing Rage, being bashed, being an artist, his stripping and his relationship with Brian.  With each new revelation came discussion and understanding.  He'd figured out some of the conversations he'd had with Brian were not repeats of previous ones.  Many of the topics were ones they had never really sat down and discussed.  His accident may have been a great catalyst in their relationship.  He wondered if he could paint in Pittsburg.  While he told Carol he could, he knew he had a hard time painting on demand and this would be as demanding as he'd ever had.  Brian would be his inspiration and he wouldn't have to focus on earning enough money to pay the bills, but would it work?  Could they live together?  He thought they could but would Brian resent Justin's presence.  Justin hadn't really given him a choice about moving to Britin.  He presented it as a done deal.  He'd read the Brian Kinney operating manual and knew it well enough to understand that telling Brian what was going to happen was surely a blueprint for failure. 

Brian hadn't put up too much resistance but would it work?  They loved each other, but was it enough?  Justin didn't want to think that after seven years and more heartache than any one person should have to endure, he would fail at the one thing that was most important to him, Brian.  He wanted to be a successful artist, but more importantly, he wanted to be with Brian.  Failing at that was just not an option. After a short time, he was able to return to sleep as well.

They woke in the morning, but neither was very rested.  Brian leaned over to pick up the phone and ordered room service.  He stumbled to the bathroom where he turned the shower on and stepped in.  Justin followed a few minutes later.  Automatically Brian poured shampoo in his hand and started washing Justin's hair.  Justin responded with a purring noise that always went straight to Brian's cock.  Justin felt Brian's cock against his stomach and reached down to give Brian a hand job.  Quickly Brian shot his load and then turned Justin around in the shower.  He grabbed the condom in the soap dish, sheathed himself and plunged into his partner.  Taking hold of Justin's hips he pulled the younger man to his body as he slammed into the tightness.  Quickly he was cumming into the condom.  After he finished he tied off the condom and finished washing Justin.  Justin returned the favor, washing Brian and they got out of the shower and grabbed the robes hanging in the bathroom. 

Brian heard the knock on the door a few moments later, announcing their food had arrived.  He grabbed some cash for a tip and brought the cart inside.

Lifting the metal trays, he saw the fruits and eggs he'd ordered and placed some on two plates.  Justin lifted the other tray which contained some toast for Brian and a bagel for him.  He poured the orange juice into two glasses and sat down with Brian to eat.

"How'd you sleep?"  Justin asked Brian as he looked at his tired eyes.  "You look exhausted."

"Okay.  You?"  Brian took a bite of his eggs and drank some coffee.

"Eh.  I woke up after a few hours and had a hard time going back to sleep."

"Having second thoughts," Brian asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"Not really.  It's just ...."

"Just what, Justin..." Brian put down his fork and turned his head toward Justin.

"It's ironic, ok.  I've been wanting this for years and now that it's in my hand, I'm scared to death."

"What's so scary?"

"I'm not worried about the painting stuff.  The critics will love me or they don't.  I have no control over that."

"Okay.  You are not making a lot of sense this morning.  Do you feel okay?  Does your head hurt?" Brian asked as he frowned at the possibility that they'd come this far only for Justin to backslide.

Justin ate a few bites of his bagel and swallowed the remainder of his juice.  He ran his hand through his hair and smiled a half smile at Brian.

"I'm scared for us."  He took a deep breath, fearful of the reaction he would get from Brian, but Brian was silent and he continued.

"I sort of forced myself on you, told you I wanted to come home and now you're forced to accept the situation.  You've taken me in before and it hasn't turned out well.  This time, though, it's different."  Justin played with the remnants of his eggs, not wanting to look directly at Brian.

"It is different this time," Brian said.  He felt proud of himself because he wasn't going to push the conversation under the rug or make some snide comment about being a lesbian.  "A lot can change in seven years.  I outfitted your studio at Britin because one day I hoped you would return and paint there.  Remember, I said to you that you didn't paint there often.  It wasn't because you didn't want to, but because you were in New York and couldn't."

Brian got up and walked to Justin, pulling him out of his seat and into a big hug.  Kissing his neck and his mouth, he tried to put all the words and feelings into his actions, but he didn't leave it to chance.

"I'll share a little secret, Justin.  I'm scared too, but as I told you two years ago, ‘I want to take a chance on love.' And this time, I know it's not just a chance." 

Justin returned Brian's kisses and drug him toward the bed where they made love, sharing their bodies as only two lovers can do.

TBC