Justin lay on Brian's chest after their first round of reunion sex.  Both men catching their breath and sharing equally satisfied looks; sex between them was always hot, but reunion sex was even hotter, if that was possible. And it seemed that Brian wasn't quit done yet, which was fine with Justin, he was missing the taste of his partner. Unfortunately, as he was giving Brian a blow job he kept replaying the conversation with ‘the man'.  Justin had to bring his mind to the task at hand a number of times and he hoped Brian hadn't noticed.  He refused to use his name as that personalized the situation too much.  He wished he would have been capable of denying that he was the dancer, a false familiarity, but unfortunately Justin was a terrible liar.

If only he could have told ‘the man' that he was mistaken or not shown any recognition, it would all go away and he would not have any worries.  But that was not his fate, his fate was to have all that he worked for go down the drain because he wanted to do it  all on his own.  He wondered if this time he would finally learn his lesson.  He didn't learn it the first time with the ‘Sap' and that almost had disastrous consequences.  This time his desire to be independent would result in the loss of his career. 

After coming hard in Justin's mouth, with a pleasurable moan, Brian was slowly falling asleep, which surprised Justin a little.  Usually they went at least three rounds after being apart for several days.  Justin decided that he must have slept poorly due to his absence.  He knew he always took a few days to get used to sleeping alone when they would part, especially if they had been together for more than a few nights.  He'd been in Pittsburgh and living with Brian for almost a month and this was their first time being apart.  He didn't take any comfort in the fact that they would most likely not be separated again anytime soon.  The bimonthly trips that Carol had requested were probably not going to be happening after Bretano's found out about his dancing. Justin closed his eyes and prayed for sleep, giving him another reprieve in telling Brian about the fiasco that was New York. 

Brian was actually pretending to sleep and lay there quietly listening to Justin's breath.  He'd realized that Justin was somewhat off tonight and his suspicion that something had gone wrong in New York was even stronger now.  He would wait until Justin told him what had happened.  He hoped it would be soon as he'd gotten used to having Justin happy and carefree.  When he was certain that Justin was sleeping, he allowed Justin's even breathing to lull him to sleep as well.

They woke in the morning, but Justin did not appear to be well rested as he had tossed and turned all night.  He dutifully burrowed under the blanket and took care of Brian's morning wood, not wanting to give Brian any ammunition to suspect that anything was wrong.  He wanted to postpone the inevitable as long as possible.  Unfortunately Justin's lackluster blow job was another red flag to Brian that something was amiss.  While the blow job was satisfactory, Justin failed to use some of his unique techniques and relied on his hands more than his mouth.  Brian hoped that Justin would talk soon; he preferred to not have Justin's troubles interfere with their sex life.

"Shower?" Brian suggested, preferring to pummel Justin in the shower than give him a blow job.

"Sure."

They joined each other in the shower, Justin standing in front of the shower spray and Brian behind.

"Hand me the shampoo," Brian said as he held out his hand.  Brian poured some shampoo into his hand and then proceeded to wash Justin's hair.  Justin usually was very verbal when Brian washed his hair but the lack of any "oh's and that's nice" changed Brian's mind.

"How was New York?" Brian tried to be nonchalant with his question, hoping to get Justin to talk.

"Fine," Justin said as he turned around to rinse out the shampoo. He grabbed the soap to clean Brian, continuing in their morning ritual. 

"Fine? How did your meeting with Carol go?"  Brian knew from Justin's short answer that the visit was not fine.  He started with the first meeting on Justin's agenda and hoped he would not have to ask about each event he was scheduled to participate in.

"Good.  She liked the slides of the pieces I've done."

"Everything go okay with Jake?"

"Jake's good.  It was fun seeing him again."

"You guys do anything?"

"I went to a show with him; he had a gig.  We mostly hung out and played Halo."

Brian rinsed his hair and turned the water off.  He opened the shower door to grab the towels and handed one to Justin.  They dried off in silence.  Justin wrapped the towel around his waist and went to the sink to brush his teeth and Brian went to the other sink to shave and brush his teeth.  Justin hung up his towel before leaving the bathroom and went to the bedroom to put on his clothes.  Brian followed him in after he hung up his towel.

"Is the space at Bretano's good?  Did you get a feel for how your show will look?" Brian was hoping Justin would give him a clue as he was quickly running out of things that Justin was supposed to do in New York.

"It's good."

Brian put on his shirt and pulled on a pair of jeans.  Justin looked at him quizzically.  "Aren't you going to work?"

"No.  I thought I'd stay here and let you tell me what the hell got into you in New York," Brian said in a quiet tone. He sat down on the bed and looked at Justin.

"You should go to work.  Remember, I'm a kept man and I eat a lot," Justin tried to keep his voice light but the halfhearted joke came out a little more serious than he anticipated. He backed away from the bed and stood in the door frame, still in the bedroom but not close enough for Brian to grab him.

"Enough of your evasiveness.  Tell me what the fuck happened in New York." Brian said in an eerily calm voice that told Justin his time of evasive tactics and short answers was not only over but dead and gone. "And don't tell me nothing happened because I know that's a lie.  You have barely said three sentences to me since you've been back and usually I can't get you to shut up.  Your mind was obviously preoccupied when we were in bed last night; we only went one round instead of the three or four that I would have expected and your enthusiasm last night and this morning when you blew me was severely lacking.  Either you are coming down with something and I've kissed your forehead enough to know that you aren't sick or something happened."  Brian looked at Justin and his eyes bored holes into the younger man.

The moment of truth had arrived.  Justin was both relieved and scared at the same time.  He didn't even know where to start; but knew one thing for certain, Brian was going to be mad, very mad when he finished.

"I changed my appointments today after your call yesterday.  When you said you were going to see Daphne instead of coming home, I decided that I should clear my calendar.  I see my intuition was correct and I will wait."

"I'm sorry.  I don't want to keep you from working, Brian." Justin frowned when he learned that Brian had cancelled work, especially when he knew what Brian was going to learn from their little tête-à-tête.

"Sorry is bullshit." Brian lowered his voice to a gentler tone now; that came out harsher than he thought. "Now come over here and tell what the hell is wrong, Sunshine."  Brian patted the bed and motioned for Justin to join him.

Justin picked up each foot as if it weighed 100 pounds.  Each step felt heavier and heavier and he fought all his urges to run downstairs and take the car keys and drive.  He sat on the bed next to Brian and slumped his shoulders, looking at his feet.  Justin was quiet, not saying anything.

"Talk to me.  We can't fix anything until you tell me what is wrong," Brian said, volunteering to fix whatever needed repair.

"You can't fix this.  No one can."

"Well that's a start.  You're talking.  Now let's try for telling me what the problem is and I can be the judge."

"I lied to you," Justin said very softly as he scooted toward the edge of the bed.

Brian let Justin move away from his, he understood, he didn't like it, but he understood, better than maybe Justin knew.

"Remember when I told you that I wanted to come back to Pittsburgh to paint because I wasn't inspired?"

"Yes." 

"That was true, but there was another reason."  Justin cast his eyes toward the floor, unable to look at Brian as he told him the rest of the story.  "There was this guy.  He used to come to the gigs.  He started coming to a lot of the gigs and I...  I wanted to leave New York so he couldn't...."

"Jesus Justin."  Brian ran his hand through his hair several times as he tried to process this information.  "You had a fucking stalker." Brian wasn't sure what he felt about that. He'd had a stalker at one point, and he was sitting right next to him in the manor he bought for the man he loved, but this was New York where it started, and Justin definitely did not seem to appreciate being stalked... not that Brian would ever admit, out loud, that he didn't really mind Justin stalking him... it had led to some pretty hot nights in bed (and all over the loft).

"Well, not really.  I only saw him at my gigs and then only sometimes.  He didn't follow me anywhere else." Justin tried to minimize the information, just as he had each time he told someone about the situation.

Brian could feel the adrenaline course through his veins.  Was Justin destined to be followed, stalked or threatened his entire life?  First Chris Hobbs threatened him at school and no one had to recite how that ended up.  Then the whole fucking thing with Prop 14 and his father and Babylon. Now, once again, he had someone following him, showing up at his work.  But there was more to this picture.

"Don't.... Justin. Don't start telling me about a fucking stalker and then back pedal, telling me it was not that big a deal."  Brian pinched his nose between his eyebrows and squinted his eyes. "If it wasn't a big deal you would have mentioned this fucker before, and you haven't said anything."

"I thought if I came home then it wouldn't be an issue."

"So the problem would magically disappear?"  Brian waved his hand like a magician.  "Come back to Pittsburgh and everything would be wonderful."

Justin just nodded his head in agreement.  Brian's fury was evident and he decided that less really was more at this point in the conversation.

"What about the painting?  Was that a lie too?  Or was it part of the plot to get you away from the fucking stalker?"  Brian ran his hand through his hair another time and could feel his heart beating so fast in his chest, he was certain that Justin could see it from where he was sitting.

"No.  It wasn't a lie.  I really was having problems painting, long before any of this. All that was absolutely true." Justin fervently hoped Brian believed him and watched Brian before he added any more to his explanation.

Brian sat quietly processing the information.  He looked at Justin, who put his head down, unable to look at him and talking in a quiet, timid voice.  This stalker had really scared Justin.  No wonder he wanted to get away and paint here; it was totally understandable. 

"Why are you telling me about the stalker now?  Did something happen when you went to New York?" Brian felt himself calming as he looked at Justin.  Justin needed him to be supportive.  There was something that he was not telling Brian, something that had changed the game and now he needed Brian. He felt his anger dissipating and reached out to touch Justin, laying his hand on his back for support.

The moment of truth had arrived.  Justin's future was going to be destroyed with his next statement and he started to hyperventilate.

"Breathe, Justin." Brian's instinct had been correct and Justin was close to a panic attack. "You're sitting here next to me at Britin.  You're safe.  Now slowly breathe."  Justin hadn't had one of those in a long time and he cursed Chris Hobbs for the millionth time that he changed this young, beautiful and innocent man to a panic stricken adult as a result of his denial of his own sexuality.  He often wished Chris would get retribution one day, but today he was concerned only for the welfare of his partner.  The man who was obviously worried and upset beyond words.

Justin did as Brian said and soon his breath was normal again.

"I met the stalker.  His name is Tim Callen."  Justin said, almost in a whisper.

"You fucking talked to the man?"  Brian reacted fiercely, his calming voice and still body ramped up again as a result of Justin's statement.

"I didn't have a choice.  He's an art critic for Art Works and he was my third interview," he said and breathed a little sigh of relief.  The information was now out there, not in his gut where it was twisting and turning, nor being visualized in his head where every permutation of damnation was realized, but out there for everyone to see.

"Oh."  Brian listened and allowed his anger to dissipate and be replaced by his love for Justin.  He realized this situation was an impossible one for him.  He was terrified of the man but had to interact with him to move his career forward.  No wonder he'd been quiet and solemn since he returned home. Brian stroked Justin's back up and down as he usually did when he wanted to calm the young man. 

"I'm so sorry Brian.  I know you agreed to support me, but I understand if this changes your mind.  Bretano's will probably cancel the show when they find out and then Carol won't represent me anymore.  And without representation, I won't have a chance in hell of making it in the art world.  And now I blew my chance of making it just because I was too proud to ask you for money.  I wanted to do it on my own and now what do I have to show for it?  I have a career that is destroyed before it even started."  Justin lay on his stomach on the bed and let the tears that he'd been holding back for days fall, making his pillow damp.

"Like I said, Justin, sorry is bullshit." Brian said calmly as ran his hand up and down Justin's back and kissed Justin on the cheek.  "You really are a drama princess.  You do realize that?  Nothing is going to happen."

Justin turned his head to look at Brian. " But he'll tell Carol and Bretano.  They won't want to show my art."

"This isn't some teaching job, Justin. There is no morals clause.  And if he were to tell Bretano's or Carol then he would have to tell them how he knew you were a dancer and admitting that he followed you around to a lot of gigs wouldn't look good on his part."

Justin sniffed and sat up, grabbing a Kleenex from the side of the bed. He blew his nose and threw the tissue away.  "You're so calm about all this.  I thought you'd be furious."

"I'm not happy with you that you didn't tell me the whole truth about why you wanted to come back, but I understand why you didn't.  I just wish you had told me when you got home.  You've been miserable for the last 18 hours and we would have had a much more enjoyable reunion if you weren't filled with doom and gloom."

"I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you for a partner."

"Twat.  At least the idiot didn't try and pick you up."

Justin looked away.

"You're fucking kidding me. He did not try and pick you up."  Justin still wasn't facing him.  "Justin?"

"He tried, but I told him no and he backed off."  Justin was proud of the way he responded to Tim, even though he was terrified at the time.

"Good."

"But..."

"But, what?"

"He said something about wanting to interview you since you were my partner and partners sometimes have insight into the artist's work."

"I see.  So he thinks I have any inkling what goes on in that blond head of yours.  He must be as delusional as you are."  Brian leaned over and gave Justin a kiss and brought him in for a hug where they touched foreheads, a familiar connection for them. Standing up he walked to his closet and opened it.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for work."

"But you said...."

"I know what I said.  But now that I know you're okay and nothing terrible happened in New York, I have a company to run and a partner to support.  I think that is your signal to go to your studio to paint."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me.  We still have a lot to do before your show and one of those things is to furnish an apartment.  So I best be going to work to pay for said furnishings."  Brian walked to Justin, took his chin in his hand and lifted it to kiss him on the lips.  The kiss lingered and both enjoyed the closeness of their partner.

Brian moved away from Justin, returning to his closet. Justin followed and attempted to turn him away from his clothes.

"As much as I would love to make up for last night, I really do need to go into the office."  Brian kissed Justin on the lips and pulled out a tie.

"Brian...." Justin urged and ran his hands over Brian's torso.

"Hold that thought and I promise to come home early tonight.  I think you need to be properly punished for your behavior since your return."  He raised his eyebrows and gave him a playful look.

Justin nodded at the promise of bad boy sex and dutifully let Brian go. "I'll hold you to that."

"I fully expect you to, twat.  Now I'm leaving."  Brian swatted Justin's butt and walked out of the room. 

Justin smiled at Brian and moved toward his closet to don his paint clothes.  Maybe his life would be okay.

TBC