BRIAN 

It was going to be a simple dinner, but that was really a joke with the guest list. Frank brought the Hens early because they were convinced that Emmett needed them. Justin escaped to work, telling me to get out while I could. Which I didn’t do, unfortunately, and found out the Hens had been working behind the scenes. Molly showed up and stuck to my side, as if I needed someone with the Hens at the helm. We were told to get out of the way when Molly refused to help with anything that would have her brother disowning her. Not that it bothered the Hens, likely because they all knew who the real power was in this family.

I learned a new level of respect for  the Hens. They are long range planners, and never forgot anyone they'd felt hurt a member of their family. They waited until there was a reason to bother with someone to screw with their life. In this case it was daddy dearest and his sweet bigoted wife. Grandma wanted to show them exactly what doors close when you screw with her kids. I had no problem helping them after hearing the shit he did to my mother-in-law and Justin.

The Hens let Drew take Frank, since he admitted he rather be anywhere but at the country club, since he never liked the reason people wanted membership, which wasn’t to use the facilities, but to show off. He thought it was an interesting contradiction; they didn’t like to mention money, but used the club to show everyone what they had. Grandma relented, not to show off her new favorite, me, but to deal with the asshole who still tried to make her daughter’s life hell. 

“Maybe you should warn Justin. He and Dad in the same room is never a good idea. Justin ignores him, but Dad for all his disowning Justin, can't,” Molly tells me. 

“What about you?” I ask, wondering how it worked when she was still in Justin’s life. 

“I'm a girl, and a disappointment for not waiting for the right man to treat me like an air headed bimbo. He's convinced that with the right man, I'll see his point of view on everything. Of course, they have to come with the right breeding and standing in the community. Apparently he thinks I’ll give him and Brenda an ‘in’ around town. Since he can’t get me to agree, he just tells me I’m as big a disappointment to him as Justin. It’s the first time I can say being a disappointment was something to live up to. At first with Justin, he tried to buy the gay away, which Grandpa put a stop to, by making sure Justin could tell Dad to kiss his ass. Although Grandma was a bit more graphic, saying Dad would just be jealous of his tinker toy and that’s why he’s jealous of Justin’s more endowed features,” She tells me, smiling.

“I’m sure he is, your brother brings a lot to the table,” I joke, as she laughs, not embarrassed in the least. “Justin doesn’t seem to care,” I tell her.

“Only when they start in on Mom, then we all get to see that Justin learned the art of WASP very well. It’s all polite smiles and underhanded mudslinging, I’d rather just say what I really think, which is why my Mom punishes Justin when she attends things here. I could do what Justin does, but why bother, when I don’t aspire to be an insipid country club princess. I like that nothing changed about Justin, other than his future wasn’t going to be with a wife. It really sent the message home that he didn’t love us, unless he approved of what we did. Justin wrote him off, without any regrets,” She tells me, when we went to get some lunch at the diner.

It was different than it would be with Claire. Molly just found a place to sit and looked to see what she could eat. Claire would have starred in disapproval at everyone in the diner while insulting everyone under her breath. Molly only got up to ask someone where they got the scarf they were wearing. She came back asking if I knew where the place the person told her to find it was.

“My dad will love it. I try to make sure to give him shit he hates. Justin stopped even trying anymore, even though I think it’s fun to see my dad trying to find a way to pretend he likes it, while throwing it in the donation bin,” She tells me.

“He seems to understand why I did the same thing with my family. My mother and sister seem to forget why they think I’m going to hell, when they need money,” I tell her.

“Do you help them?” She asks.

“It doesn’t matter to me what they think, just that they stay on their side of Pittsburgh. A check here and there makes it so Gus will never have to deal with them,” I tell her.

“That’s why Justin doesn’t care about Dad, because he doesn’t see anything good that would come from Gwen being involved with them,” Molly tells me.

“Brian, are you going to introduce us?” Michael says, standing at the end of the table with Hunter.

“I’ll do it for him. I’m his sister, Molly, and you are...?” Molly asks.

“His friend since we were fourteen, Michael, and this is my son Hunter, we plan to adopt him.” Michael tells her, as if there was some reason she needed to know it.

“How’s that idea working for you?” Molly asks Hunter.

“Not bad. I mean I got a great little sister out of the deal. Which outweighs the neighbors who think I should stand on a stage and tell everyone how to not end up a street hustler. It’s kind of a short speech, since my mom thought selling my ass for crack was the way to go. I just decided if anyone was going to make money off my ass, it should be me,” Hunter tells her, once again trying to ruffle Michael’s feathers.

“Hunter!” Michael warns.

“What? You’re the one who said it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Hunter tells him.

“I just don’t want them to have a bad impression of you,” Michael tells him.

“Brian already knows… Oh, was I supposed to wait until you wrangle an invitation for Monty and Eli? Dad here found out where the party was being thrown and apparently it has Monty and Eli willing to do anything to be invited. Likely because Robin is going and didn’t invite them to the party, which is likely because, like Daddy B told you, you don’t invite guests to other people’s party,” Hunter tells him.

“I just wanted to have someone there who wouldn’t be too involved with everyone else to talk to their friends,” Michael tells him.

“Wait, didn’t he just go out of his way to say that you were friends since you were fourteen?” Molly asks me.

“Normally he tells people BEST FRIEND, while waving a flag and wishing he could fall to his knees to worship all that is this one,” Deb tells her, kissing my head.

“Ma!” Michael warns, looking horrified, which, with the things Deb’s said in the past, is surprising.

“I would have too. But then I realized I was just looking for a sugar daddy, and well, Brian wasn’t into it,” Hunter jokes.

“Hunter!” Michael shouts.

“I’m trying to help you so you can bring the cult. They want to induct a new member, since Ben told them he figured out why he spent so much time on causes. Apparently SSB does that to you,” Hunter informs us.

“What?” Deb asks.

“Severe Semen Backup, which hasn’t been much of a problem if the screeches that make it impossible to sleep are any indication,” Hunter tells us, enjoying Michael’s embarrassment.

“Brian, Eli didn’t think it’s fair that you invited Robin, when you’ve known Eli and Monty longer,” Michael tells me.

“Why the fuck would he care about them? They’re your friends not his,” Deb interrupts.

“The Stepfords want to be in the ‘in crowd’,” Hunter tells her.

“Are they anything like him?” Molly asks, pointing at Michael.

“Worse. They actually believe the shit they spout. Dad here just nods and pretends he isn’t still out partying at Babylon anytime he can. Like last night, when you came home upset and Daddy B dragged your ass to sin.” Hunter tells us.

“We went to dance.” Michael insists.

“And hoot at the strip contest,” Ted says, as he and Blake come in. “Poppy said to tell you good job,” He tells me.

“Brian?” Michael asks, still trying to get his friends in.

“If they’re as bad as Hunter says, then the Hens will love them, in a way only they know how,” Molly tells me.

“Aunt Rose is here? Poppy will be thrilled,” Ted tells us.

“They invited your aunt too?” Michael asks Ted, getting offended.

“She adopted Teddy, since it wasn’t likely he was going to take her up on her offer to show him a really good time,” Blake tells us, laughing.

“That was Aunt Mary,” Ted tells him, smiling.

“Who the hell are all these aunts?” Michael asks.

“You’ll find out tonight, they are really looking forward to meeting you,” Molly tells him.

“What about Monty and Eli?” He asks me again.

“Could you see them trying to be politically correct with the aunts?” Ted asks.

“Good point, but sadly the Hens are more interested in frying someone else's balls,” I tell Ted. 

“I promised to help,” Deb tells us, grabbing Michael and Hunter to leave us alone. Even though Michael tried to stay.

“Good thing or bad?” Molly asks, when Deb heads off with Michael’s ear in tow.

“It might make the Hens wonder if they accidently took the wrong kid home, since Deb is everything they love,” Ted tells her.

“Well at least they’ll be busy and not trying to fix me up,” Molly tells us.

Her phone beeps at her and she reads it and hands it to me groaning. 

“Sweetie, we found you a possible hunk!” Aunt Mary textes.

“How when Emmett said he was taking them to Babylon for the… never mind,” Ted picked up the menu and tried to avoid looking at me.

“What are they doing to my club?” I ask.

“I think Emmett told on Justin and they wanted to make sure to give him exactly what he said. Although the horse doesn’t really look like a unicorn,” Ted tells me, mumbling. But years of dealing with Ted meant I can decode Ted speak.

“A horse?” I ask.

“They hired someone to clean up behind it,” Blake says, not helping.

“It could be worse,” Molly tells me.

“Really?” I ask sarcastically.

“No, you're right it couldn’t be. But hey, if they found someone at a gay club I’m in the clear, right? So... WIN,” Molly smirks.