JUSTIN

Drew handed over the shovel when I asked and stood next to me, directing me on how to dig the correct trap for him. He made Emmett talk to him, which Emmett had been avoiding. Only now that he couldn’t escape, Emmett let it all fly. 

“Your mother blames me for you being gay. Every time I try to plan the wedding, she shows up with a list of women she wants you to meet. Apparently, one of them will get you to remember that you’re straight.” Emmett tells him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Drew asks.

“Because you seemed happy that she wanted to stay with us.” Emmett tells him.

“Emmett, do you honestly think I want my mother around? Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but I only let her stay because you seemed happy she was there. I want to marry you and I want us to do what Brian and Justin are doing soon.” Drew tells him.

“Hopefully, you know, you’ll like tell Emmett, before hijacking the sperm.” Blake says, laughing.

Brian dragged me out of the fourth hole I dug. I figured out that being on an island in the middle of the Gulf meant hitting water really fast when digging. Brian and Drew explained in detail that they weren’t digging to China, but making it so when the victim came up to their trap, they slid in. It was really genius when they added the slime stuff. Ted managed to get some that looked like the sand. Only when you got it on you, everything you touched stuck to it. Emmett and I tried it and yep even leaves stuck to us. When the sun started coming up we figured we needed to get back before Vern got a clue we’d been missing.

Vern was waiting at the dock, tapping his foot. He seemed to think since he couldn’t intimidate Brian and Drew, the rest of us were fair game. He started to lecture us about following his rules. I sort of got irritated, and it’s not like I knew Jaws had been following us, so when I accidentally bumped his ass into the water, I really thought he was being a drama queen, screaming like something was going to eat him. It’s not like he flew that far, just sort of close enough to see the fin coming out of the water. I almost like asked if he wanted to try out for the Olympics, since the whole Love Guru thing was likely crashing and burning. Which was apparent when the other couples showed up barely looking at each other. 

“What happened since last night?” I ask.

“Michael figured if everyone else gets to break the rules, than he should be able to do it too. Only Ben started his usual lecture on why they were here, which sounded like it was Michael’s fault.” Ted tells me. 

“What about Mel and Lindsay, they look like they're ready to kill each other?” Emmett asks. 

“Lindsay was flirting with Vern.” Ted tells him. 

“What the hell for?” Emmett asks, which I'm sure we were all ready to ask. 

“Apparently Mel was siding with Ben, and blamed Lindsay for their problems.” Blake tells him. 

Drew told us to get back in his boat, when Vern showed up, trying to put everyone on different boats other than the one with their partners. Rocko handed us our backpacks, and since I was hungry, I ate the snack food and left the backpack in the boat. Vern smirked at me, saying what was provided in our backpacks was meant to get us through the next three days. He looked confused when I didn’t react. When he started explaining the idea was to test our ability to work together as couples, we all took off instead of staying around for his lecture.

Brian grabbed a beer from the ice chest as soon as we arrived at our camp. Emmett played hostess, serving everyone drinks, it was almost noon when we heard the first yelp. Emmett and I drunkenly ran, since it sounded like our trap. Emmett really impressed me by keeping the drink he ran with in the glass. We finally found our first victim, and were disappointed in Rocko.

“Can you get me down?” He asks, as we both just stared up at him.

Emmett kept trying to find some place to put his drink, so I went to climb up the tree, thinking we should have like tied the rope that let them go, lower. Brian yanked me down, going up himself, saying the last thing he needed was for Leo to find out I broke my neck. I was about to protest but we heard another scream, and Emmett, Blake, and I left the guys to see who scored.

We found Michael screaming as if he was being drowned.

“Help me!” He screeches.

“Michael seriously? It's like two feet deep.” Blake scowls.

Michael got up, only to slip and go under again. I grabbed the hand he held out like he was in quicksand, only to have him yank me in with him. We sort of wrestled for a few minutes but eventually Brian seemed to get tired of waiting for us to stop playing and told Ted to get us out. Like he didn’t know what Michael and I would do. Unfortunately Ted didn’t either, which, lucky for us only had Ted laughing. After it got boring we climbed out, with Michael begging to be on our side. Which I got, since in my head the evil was all Vern. 

Brian held me away from him, and dragged me off to clean all my hard to reach places. It took a while but after the third orgasim we were stopped by Emmett, telling me it was my idea to let Michael in our group. Michael didn’t grab a beer but a bottle, and downed it, saying he was tired of being considered the child in his relationship, then he started stripping. Which, even drunk I so like didn’t want to see that he still wore underoos. We chased him when he ran toward one of our other traps, since like Ted, we couldn’t really count it as a point, Brian’s rule. We sort of lost him when he kind of got camouflaged by all the things that stuck to him. We finally found his drunken ass trying to unstick the envelope he found, while reading the note.

“I got one.” Michael said. Well it sounded like him, but reminded me of the creature in one of the movies they play on late night creature features. Which I make Brian watch with me and tell me when I can look again. “Vern made it sound like prizes.” He pouts.

I looked and thought, yeah, to me it was, since any excuse to get naked with my partner worked for me. “What’s wrong with giving your partner a lap dance?” I ask.

“Ben said I looked like I was having a seizure when I tried.” He tells us glumly, or well, I just assumed that’s what he looked like since I couldn’t tell.

“Honey, naked, normally any gay man wouldn’t care.” Emmett says, trying to get the picture of what Michael was describing out of his head.

We all heard the girls coming towards us, and since they were still on the bad side, we hid behind Michael and a bush. They walked right over Michael, not even paying attention, but bitching that they were going to get the most notes. Creeping behind them, it was hard not to hope they would step just a little to the left, but alas, they went right and found one of the notes and seemed to take exception to my ideas of prizes.

“Three blow jobs anywhere we choose?” Mel says, like it was the worst idea ever, which, well I could give her, being a lesbian and all.

What I couldn’t forgive was Lindsay deciding to change the rules, and wanted to scream for them to stop. Emmett and I decided that Brian and Drew scored ten points when both the girls ended up toppling into the hole they missed to get the note. Only something strange happened, they were laughing, and well, we left when they decided to make out with each other. We sent Brian and Drew to get the lesbians, since they had each managed to sex up a woman at one time and apparently didn’t have nightmares, the way Emmett and I did. 

Blake and Ted ended up feeling bad when Michael’s eyelids sealed shut, but debated cleaning it off his lips when the stuff dried his lips together. Brian and Drew sent the girls with Ted and Blake, not wanting to know anything else that might have gotten glued together with the stuff. 

Emmett and I were curious where Ben was, but not enough to not want to win by bagging Vern. In the point system, Vern was a guaranteed win. When Michael returned, it wasn’t a choice. We were going to get Ben to shut him up, since hearing all about the reasons Michael loved Ben sounded way too harlequin romance for us. When we found Ben and Vern, let's just say Michael and postal had a lot in common. In the end, I really couldn’t blame Michael for trying to drown Vern. Only Michael, ever oblivious to everything, didn’t see Ben’s look of disgust at Vern when Vern leapt on him. He also didn’t see the look of awe Ben had when Michael was screaming at Vern about why Ben was his and only his. I started to wonder if maybe I underestimated coming here. I mean, not that Vern was like, worth listening to, but well, everyone seemed to figure out their relationships. Ben grabbed a screaming Michael and followed us to the other side. Vern was yelling that Michael would pay for trying to kill him. Like any of us were going to say Michael did anything, it was the one time we all agreed.

We were almost to the camp when Vern came running at Michael, saying he didn’t deserve a partner like Ben, and then insulted both me and Emmett for using our charms to win men that should want someone like Vern. As far as I was concerned, he deserved everything he got, which was getting netted and then falling straight into the hole Brian and Drew dug underneath it. It was also Brian’s idea to tie the net to a limb that wouldn’t hold the weight of Gus. 

I really wanted to watch, but Brian came running to find me and told me we had to go. He dragged me behind him, saying who the fuck cared about Vern when our daughter was here. The whole gang took off with us, leaving Rocko to enjoy the camp, and deal with Vern.