Mouse and Cat

Part 3

Cynthia watched Brian as she handed him the papers he needed to go through for his upcoming meeting. She was sure she smelled liquor on his breath. She frowned wondering what had caused Brian to be drinking so early in the morning. She had never seen this before. She had seen him violently hung-over, running on adrenaline not having slept or eaten all night, but she had never seen him come in even slightly drunk to work, until now. She wondered if she should say something.

"How long till the meeting?"

"They're already here," she said. "Bob's giving them the five cent tour of the place."

"Fuck!" Brian breathed trying to assimilate what he could from the sheets she had handed him.

"If it'll help, you do the presentation and I'll field any questions related to this." She indicated the papers he held in his hand. "I've gone over them thoroughly."

"Thanks," he said with a sigh.

"What's going on, Boss? Is there anything I can help with?" He shook his head. "Then take one of these," she added handing him a roll of breath mints. He grimaced but popped one out of the wrapper and into his mouth. "We need to get in there."

"Thanks, Cynthia," Brian said as he got to this feet. He hoped to hell he could pull this off or Ryder would have his balls.

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Justin sat in his orientation lecture. His mind was in another place altogether. He kept replaying the words Brian had used. "Home" and "between us" and "don't want them to hurt you". And the whole Liberty Avenue contingent business. Who the fuck were they? He had met Emmett and he supposed the man was part of Brian's group. Emmett had helped him. He had also sort of warned him about Brian. Did they all know something about Brian that he didn't? He had met Ted very briefly. He seemed nice enough. Justin had worked with Debbie and had learned to like her. But none of them had very much good to say about Brian. He wondered why that was … if they were supposed to be Brian's friends. He shook his head. What was he going to do?"

"So, tomorrow's class will require that you have everything on this list," the professor was saying.

Justin took one of the sheets that were being distributed and started filing out of the auditorium with the other new kids on the block. He couldn't remember one thing the professor had said. He watched as people headed for the bookstore or the art store on campus. He decided he better get there too before they ran out of the things he would need for tomorrow. Thinking about Brian would have to wait a while.

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As seven o'clock approached Justin wondered about going to Brian's. He had come home loaded with his supplies and his schedule of classes. He wouldn't have to be at PIFA until ten the next day. He could stay at the apartment with Daphne and sleep in … or, he could go to Brian's and have mind blowing sex and maybe a talk. He weighed the two alternatives and hesitated.

"Just go, Justin," Daphne said having watched her friend dither and frown for the last hour.

"I don't think I should."

"Why the fuck not? You know you want to."

"I … I think Brian's trying to break up with me," Justin admitted.

"Fuck! Already?"

Justin nodded. He knew it was coming. He could feel it. "He doesn't want me to let anybody know that we're together," Justin said sadly.

"Why did he say that?"

"He said it was so they wouldn't hurt me."

"That's a good reason," Daphne said trying to look on the bright side.

Justin snorted. "Yeah, if you could believe him. I think he doesn't want to be seen with me, probably thinks I'm too babyish for his friends."

"You're a very mature person. I'm sure he doesn't think that."

"I don't know," Justin admitted shaking his head. "I just have a bad feeling about what's coming."

"Then go face it head on," Daphne advised him. "I thought you had got past the mouse stage."

"I guess I haven't. I'm still a scared little queer."

"You can do it. I know you can. Go face him, and if he tries to break it off, kick him in the balls."

Justin laughed. Daphne could always cheer him up. "I think I'll leave that to you," he said as headed for the door. He gathered up all the stuff he would need for class the next day and stuffed it in his duffel along with a change of clothes. Who knew what this night would bring?

As Justin closed the door behind him Daphne let out a long breath. If Brian Kinney dumped her friend, forget about kicking him in the balls. She was going to have those balls sautéed … and with a fine Chianti.

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Justin pushed the buzzer at the door to the loft building. He waited and nothing happened. He buzzed again. Nothing. With a sigh and a frown he backed out to the edge of the sidewalk looking up at the windows of Brian's loft. All was darkness. Justin wondered if Brian wasn't home … or if he was hiding up there in the dark. Brian had said he would be home by seven. It was after seven-thirty. He should be there. Justin buzzed once more, deciding that if Brian didn't answer he would go home and try to forget this enigmatic man who had turned his whole world upside down.

"Hey, Sunshine," Brian called getting out of the Jeep which he had to park down the street since Justin's car occupied his usual spot.

"I didn't think you were home," Justin said lamely not sure how this was going to go.

"I wasn't. But I am now." Brian unlocked the loft door. "Did you bring a bag with you?"

"I have some stuff in the car."

"Good boy, go get it," Brian smirked. All things considered he was happy to have Justin there, especially if he was planning to stay all night.

Justin reappeared with his duffel and they made their way up to the loft. Once the door closed behind them, Brian was on Justin like a second layer of skin. The kisses were long and passionate like they couldn't stand to be apart. And when they were together everything seemed so right, especially when they were having sex.

Once they were spent and lying beside each other in the big bed, Justin rolled onto his side to look closely at Brian. He had decided he wanted some answers even if it meant he would be walking out the loft door never to return.

"What?" Brian said as he grew uncomfortable under Justin's gaze.

"I have something I want to talk to you about." Brian groaned. Justin blanched and turned away, feeling like he already knew what the answer was going to be.

"Hey," Brian's gentle voice broke into Justin's black thoughts. "Hey."

"I think I should be going," Justin said fighting back tears.

"Going? You just got here."

"Three rounds ago, but who's counting?"

"Obviously you are," Brian smirked. "I thought you said you wanted to talk." He grabbed Justin's arm as the boy made to get up from the bed.

Justin let out a long sigh. "What are we doing with each other?" he asked.

"Besides having the best sex … and then having some more?" Brian said tongue in cheek.

Justin cringed. He was afraid that that was all he was to Brian - great sex, and nothing more. "I guess you just answered my question." He started to get up again.

"I don't think so, Sunshine," Brian said pulling him back down. "I said besides that … didn't you hear me?"

"Yes, but you didn't elaborate."

"Well, give me a chance."

"I've been giving you chances ever since we got back here, but I get the feeling that I'm more bother than you care to put up with. I feel like you're ashamed of me … or that you want me to be your dirty little secret." There, it was all out in the open.

Brian studied this blond who had been so scared when he had first met him. He wondered where that frightened little boy had gone. Now he was looking at a determined young man.

"If you have nothing to say, then I'm going."

"I thought you were staying the night."

"Didn't you hear what I just said to you?"

"Yes, I did."

"And you have no reply?"

"I didn't realize it was a question," Brian said buying some time.

"You know, you really are an asshole! I should have listened to Emmett." Justin was about to get up and leave when he looked at Brian's face one last time. What he saw there made him stop and drop back onto the mattress. Brian's face betrayed the pain Justin's words had caused. "Why can't you just talk to me, be honest with me."

"That's just it. Eventually you will learn that I'm a huge asshole, just like Emmett said, and then you'll leave. So you might as well go now."

"I don't think you're an asshole," Justin said cupping Brian's jaw and making the man look at him. "You're the person I fell in love with in Cape Cod. Why can't you be that person here?"

Brian groaned. "Because that was … make believe. That's not who I really am."

Justin felt tears behind his eyes. "So … you're telling me that you lied to me in Cape Cod, that everything that happened was a fucking lie."

Brian grabbed Justin and pulled him against his body. He knew deep inside himself that in spite of being fucking afraid, he had liked the man he was in Cape Cod. That was the man he wanted to be. That was the kind of life he wanted … with Justin. But here in Pittsburgh he seriously doubted that they could have that kind of life.

"It … it," Brian cleared his throat finding it difficult to get anything to come out. "It wasn't a lie. It was a fantasy. I don't think we can have that here … in Pittsburgh."

"But why not?" Justin asked as he leaned back to look into Brian's eyes. "I don't see why that's not possible."

"You know what some people think of me?" Justin nodded. Brian kept coming back to that point. "Others think even worse things. When you find them out, you won't want to be with me."

"Are they true … these things?"

"Some, most, yeah, I guess they are."

"What exactly are we talking about?"

Brian drew in a deep breath. Slowly he began. "Some people would call me the King of Liberty Avenue. Others would prefer the Slut of Liberty." Brian felt Justin shudder at his words. He still held the young man cradled in his arms, his head against his chest so that he couldn't look at him. "They'll tell you I'm cruel and have no heart. They'll say I'm ruthless and that I don't care about anyone but myself."

"But you care about me," Justin whispered into Brian's chest. "I know you do."

"Yes, I do," Brian whispered into Justin's hair.

"Then they're wrong. You do care about someone beside yourself," Justin declared.

Brian snorted. "As if that's enough."

"It is. It's everything. It's a start."

"Pollyanna."

"What?"

"You're such a Pollyanna."

"Is that why you love me?" Justin asked taking a chance.

"One of many reasons."

"Then we can do this, Brian. I know we can."

"You don't know … not really. I think you'll get sick of defending me, and I'll get sick of being told how I'm going to hurt you, and eventually we'll both get … tired, and … it will all fall apart." Brian let out a long breath.

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian's chest and held on. He knew he still wanted Brian. He loved Brian, and now he was sure that Brian loved him. In some fucked up way Brian seemed to think he was doing the best thing for Justin by pushing him away. But Justin knew that wasn't the best thing for either of them.

"Brian, there has to be some way to make this work. I don't want to lose you."

"That's why I suggested that we keep this between the two of us … at least for a while."

"What good will that do?"

"It will give us a chance to get to know each other and decide if this is really what we want. You might decide that I'm not worth the trouble."

Justin shook his head. "You're more than worth the trouble. I'll try it if you think that's what we should do."

"You will?" Brian asked shoving Justin back and looking into the blue eyes. Justin nodded. "But why? I thought you wanted everything out in the open."

"It isn't just what I want, Brian. It's what we both want."

"And you'll do this for me?"

"I think that's what I've been saying."

Brian's lips welded themselves onto Justin's. His hand pressed the back of Justin's head forcing more pressure against their lips. Justin opened his mouth and found Brian's tongue delving down his throat. He moaned at the closeness and let the sensations that Brian's tongue was arousing sweep over him. He dueled with the tongue challenging Brian's supremacy.

Brian chuckled deep in his throat and drew away. "Where's my little mouse?" he asked.

"He's turning into a great big jungle cat."

"On the prowl?"

"Definitely, but only for one certain prey."

"And what might that be?" Brian laughed.

"He's already caught his prey, but the prey may not know it yet."

"Oh, the prey knows all right."

"Good," Justin said pushing Brian back onto the bed and spreading himself atop the man. He bucked his hips rubbing their burgeoning cocks together. "We can make this work, Brian. I know we can. We can make anything work as long as we're together."

"How could I ever doubt you, Sunshine?"

"Don't … don't ever doubt me."

Justin leaned in and brushed Brian's lips with a feather soft kiss. He licked along Brian's jaw and followed that with another kiss. His hands were locked together with Brian's their fingers interlaced. Justin slid down and started sucking on one of Brian's nipples. He felt Brian start to pant and then he bucked up against him. Justin sat up a little looking into Brian's lust filled eyes. He was beginning to understand the power he could wield with men, even a man like Brian.

He slithered down Brian's body kissing and licking Brian's stomach and burying his nose in Brian's pubes. He looked up at Brian whose head was thrown back in anticipation of what was to come. Justin took Brian's beautiful cock in his hand caressing it up and down. He ran his thumb through the slit collecting precum. He coated the cock with his treasure and leaned in to lick along the prominent vein. Brian groaned as Justin sucked his length into his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard. Brian cried out. Justin continued to lave and lick and suck until Brian could barely see straight. Justin would back off as soon as he saw Brian getting close. Brian let out what could only be described as a whimper and Justin smiled to himself. He had Brian exactly where he wanted him.

"We are going to be together from now on, aren't we?" he asked staring up at Brian.

"Yes, oh God yes," Brian gasped as Justin dragged his tongue across his slit.

"Good," Justin said as he swallowed Brian's length forcing the man to come in a blinding orgasm.

As Brian gasped for breath, Justin climbed back up the trembling body and kissed Brian gently. He snuggled into Brian's shoulder and watched the man recover from his orgasm.

"I love you, Brian. Never doubt that."

Brian opened his eyes. He looked at Justin entwined in his arms. He had never had this with anyone else, but the question was could he do it with Justin.