Mouse and Cat

Part 5

Justin and Daphne walked into Torso later that week. Emmett rushed over when he saw the pair.

"Hi, hi, hi," he cooed to the cute little duo.

"Hi Emmett," Daphne grinned. "Justin needs a great shirt to wear to Babylon this weekend."

"Ooh, after someone special?" Emmett grinned.

"Um … no … um … maybe … I don't know." Justin wasn't sure what Emmett was getting at, and so he didn't know how to answer the innocuous question.

"I wasn't trying to pry, sweetie," Emmett explained. "I just wondered if you and Brian … you know."

"Why would you think that?" Daphne asked prepared to defend Justin.

"Well, he seemed kind of interested in you that night at Babylon, and he wouldn't discuss you the other day in the gym."

"Discuss me?" Justin asked. "Why would he discuss me?"

"The point is, he wouldn't," Emmett continued. "He told Ted to fuck off and made it clear it wasn't open to discussion."

"I see," Justin said thoughtfully.

"So have you two done it?" Emmett grinned. "I wondered if he had had you and kicked you out and he might have felt just a twinge of guilt."

"I thought you said Brian never had any regrets," Daphne contributed.

"Well, he usually doesn't. He's pretty ruthless."

"Ruthless?" Justin asked.

"Brian kind of has his own set of rules, and he doesn't listen to anybody else. He's known for blunt honesty, but he never tempers it with any kind of compassion or caring about the other person's feelings."

"That makes him sound like an awful person."

"He can be at times," Emmett admitted.

"And you're supposed to be his friend?" Justin asked wanting to get out of there.

"I'm not really his friend. He sort of tolerates me because I'm Michael's roommate. I don't really count for anything. Michael is his only friend … oh, and Lindsay."

"Who's Lindsay?"

"You haven't met Mel and Lindz yet? They're lesbians. They're…" Emmett hesitated deciding that maybe he better keep his big mouth shut before he brought the wrath of the great god Kinney down on his head.

"So Lindsay is Brian's friend?" Daphne questioned.

"Uh huh."

"Have you met her, Justin?"

Justin glared at Daphne reminding her that she had been sworn to secrecy about his relationship with Brian. "Why would I have met a lesbian?"

"Well, she is into art, so you might have run into her," Emmett contributed.

"Oh."

"Yeah, she taught art but she's on … sabbatical for a year."

"Anyway, about that shirt," Justin said deciding he had heard enough.

Later that day Justin sat on the couch at Daphne's staring at the TV which was not turned on. Daphne was ladling out soup to have with the sandwiches she had just put together.

"Dinner's ready," she called. "And you might have helped."

"Sorry, Daph, I was thinking."

"What about?" Daphne asked as they carried their meals to the little table by the window.

"About what Emmett said."

"About this Lindsay person?"

"Yeah, her and all the other things that Brian hasn't told me."

"What other things?"

"That's just it. He never really talks to me. I don't know any more about him than what I learned in Cape Cod."

"I thought you went over there the other night to talk."

"We kind of got sidetracked," Justin blushed.

"Oh, you mean when he rolled over and his dick accidentally found its way up your ass."

"Something like that."

"Well, personally I think you're letting Mr. Brian fucking Kinney treat you like shit. He says he wants a relationship with you, but then you have to keep it secret, and now you say he won't even tell you about himself. That is one fucked up relationship if you can even call it that."

"I know, but Brian's not easy to deal with. He's so much older than me and set in his ways. And his way is not to talk. He keeps everything to himself."

"Then maybe you should look for someone more your own age," Daphne said in her practical manner.

"But I love him, Daph. So often he's the most wonderful man when he's with me. And the sex is earth shattering."

"So what are you complaining about?"

"I feel like he's shutting me out of part of his life. This whole secrecy thing has something to do with that. I know it does."

"Jesus, Justin, I don't know how you deal with all that crap."

"I'm not sure I am."

"Are you going over there tonight?"

"I … I don't think so."

"But you can't stay away."

Justin shook his head not knowing how to answer that. As he finished the last bit of his soup the phone rang. Justin went to answer it.

"Hey," Brian's voice came over the line and went straight to Justin's dick which straightened out immediately.

"Hey," he said unable to stop himself from smiling. Daphne rolled her eyes at him and got up from the table.

"I thought you might have come here for dinner tonight."

"Oh, Daphne and I just ate."

"So come over for dessert," Brian whispered. Justin wanted to start tugging on his cock so bad.

"I … um … I have some homework to get done."

"I'll make sure we leave time for you to do that."

"Really?" Justin asked pleased that Brian saw the importance of him getting his work done.

"Really."

"I guess I could be there in an hour."

"Make it fifteen minutes and I'll have a special reward for you."

Justin's cock jumped and he said, "Okay," slamming the phone down and racing to gather up the things he needed.

When he came out of his bedroom Daphne was standing at the door to the apartment holding it open for him.

"Play safe," she called as he whizzed by. "See ya' … sometime." With a sigh she closed the door behind Justin wondering if he and Brian would ever get it right.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Justin raced up the stairs to the loft too impatient to wait for the elevator. He came around the last landing and saw the door pulled back inviting him in.

"Brian," he called not seeing the man anywhere.

"Up here, but lock the door behind you. I know how modest you are," Brian chuckled.

Justin dropped his bag by the door and slid the door closed. He locked it and headed towards the bedroom. He had stepped onto the first riser when his eyes became aware of Brian lying naked on the bed smoking a cigarette. He was lit by the neon lights over the bed, and he looked sexy beyond belief. Justin felt his cock throb at the sight.

"Do you always lie around like that with the front door open?" Justin asked with a chuckle.

"Only when I know you're on your way," Brian smirked.

Justin smiled. He liked that Brian was waiting for him. He liked feeling special. "But what if someone else came in?"

"Like who?"

"Oh I don't know … Michael."

"Not going to happen."

"Why not?" Justin asked starting to take off his clothes. He wanted Brian the minute he saw him, naked or not.

"Mikey calls first."

"Always."

"Pretty much. I've warned him about arriving here unannounced."

"He's done that before?" Justin asked as he slid naked onto the bed next to Brian.

"Why are we talking about Michael?" Brian asked as he rolled onto Justin capturing the full lips that he had missed all day.

"I want to get to know your friends."

"Well, you're going to work with Michael on that fucking comic, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," Justin said defensively.

"Then you'll find out plenty."

"Why don't you just tell me?"

Brian frowned. "Can we just fuck and leave Michael Novotny out of the equation?"

"If you insist," Justin giggled.

"I insist," Brian said initiating another kiss and reaching for a condom.

Some time later Justin lay staring at the ceiling feeling the last tremors of his most recent orgasm tingle through his body. He turned his head to look at Brian only to find the man staring back at him.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Why all the questions about Michael when you first came in?" Brian responded.

"I … I want to know all about you," Justin said reaching a hand over to touch Brian.

Brian looked down at Justin's hand now resting on his arm. He liked the contact, but he didn't like the statement. "And when you find out all about me, what then?"

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"When there is no mystery and you know all my secrets, what then?"

"You have secrets?"

Brian snorted. "Answer the question."

"I don't know what will happen then. All I know is that I want to learn everything about you."

"And if I don't want you to know all about me?"

"Then…" Justin started to say as he turned to face Brian. "Then I don't think we have much of a … relationship," he said using the dreaded "R" word.

Brian studied Justin's face. "You may not like what you find out."

"I'll take my chances."

"You … you don't understand."

"I think that's what I'm trying to do … understand you."

Brian looked away and reached for a cigarette.

"I will still love you," Justin whispered to Brian's back.

"You don't know that."

"I wish you could trust me."

"I wish I could too."

Justin winced. "Does that mean that you don't trust me?" He held his breath waiting for the answer.

"I have trouble trusting anyone."

Justin felt the sting of those words. It was like a knife plunged into his heart. Brian didn't trust him, probably didn't trust anybody, but that didn't make it any better. "I guess I'll go now," Justin said rolling to the edge of the bed and sitting up.

"I thought you were staying the night."

"I … I can't do this, Brian. I need to know that you love me and trust me, and obviously you don't."

"I do … more than anyone else. But maybe that isn't enough." Brian stared at Justin's back waiting for the young man's reaction.

"It's something, but I'm not sure it's enough," Justin said slowly.

Brian drew in a short breath. "I wish I could say more."

"I wish you could too, but I'm glad you're honest about it."

"Are you still going?"

"I think it might be best."

"The decision is yours."

"I know, but it's also yours. You have a say in this too, Brian." Justin turned to look at Brian for the first time since he said he was going to leave.

Brian saw the unshed tears in Justin's eyes. They matched those in his own. "Don't go," Brian said in a strangled voice.

"That's all you had to say," Justin replied throwing himself into Brian's arms. "I don't want to go."

"Then why do you say you are?"

"Sometimes I need some reassurance, and that seems to be the only way to get it out of you. I need to know that you really want me here, that I'm not just a convenient fuck, that I mean something to you."

"You mean … a lot to me," Brian whispered into Justin's hair as he held his lover tight against his body.

"Then just trust me … even a little bit. I won't hurt you. I love you."

"I'll try."

"Then tell me something that I don't know about you, something important," Justin whispered.

Brian ran his hand along Justin's back feeling the soft smooth skin. He did love this kid as much as he could love anyone. He thought about Justin's question knowing he needed to reveal something, but wondering what it would be safe to tell his lover. "I have a son," Brian said slowly.

"What?" Justin asked pulling back to look into Brian's eyes.

"I said that I have a son."

"How? Where is he?"

"He's a few weeks old and he's with his mothers."

"Mothers?"

"Yes. My friend Lindsay is the biological mother. I just provided the sperm so she and her dyke partner could have a baby."

"So have you seen him? Is he cute? What's his name?"

"His name is Gus."

"I had a teddy bear named Gus," Justin giggled.

"He could have been Abraham."

"Abraham? Yuck!"

"My thoughts exactly. I held out for Gus although that wouldn't have been my first choice either."

"What would you have named him?" Justin asked liking that he was having a real conversation with Brian.

"I don't know, something more … Irish."

"Like Paddy or Shamus?" Justin teased.

"God no! Maybe … Liam or something like that."

"Liam," Justin said thoughtfully. "I like that. Maybe some day we could … you know."

Justin felt Brian draw away and he wondered why his thought about the future had invoked such a reaction.

"I need some sleep," Brian said abruptly switching off the neons and turning away from Justin.

Justin watched Brian's back for a while. Things had been going so good until he had mentioned them maybe having a baby of their own some day. Obviously that wasn't part of Brian's view of the future. Justin had to wonder what his future with Brian might hold, that was, if he had a future at all.