WTF Kinda Hat Is That?





"Brian, far be it for me to criticize because we both know that you are the fashion savvy member of this partnership...."

Brian and Justin were strolling down Liberty Avenue toward the diner on a brisk Fall day.

"True."

"But what the fuck is that on your head?"

Brian raised his eyes upward toward the object in question.

"That, my dear Sunshine, is my hat."

"Uh huh. Your hat. It looks like a beret with a glandular problem."

"You don’t like it?"

"I can honestly say, no, I don’t like your hat."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes, why?"

"First of all, and I say this with the utmost respect and love for you, the hat makes you look like you’re twelve. If it wasn’t for the fact that you have about three days of beard growth..."

"I am on vacation."

"...and you’re over six feet tall, no one could ever mistake you for twelve."

"You should know, oh perpetual youthful looking one."

"Be that as it may, why are you wearing that ridiculous hat."

"First of all I do not agree with your assessment of me in my hat. I don’t think I look ridiculous. On the contrary, I think I look pretty damn good and it keeps my ears warm."

"That’s another thing, why do you have your hat pulled down so far? You have beautiful hair and handsome ears. Why would you ever want to hide them?"

"You know for someone who claims to have gotten 1500 on their SATs, you ask a lot of stupid questions."

"My questions aren’t stupid."

"Maybe but you’ve certainly got a lot of them. Justin, I like my hat."

"Then by all means wear it in good health. And forgive me if I keep my distance."

"Fine."

When Brian and Justin reached the diner, Brian gallantly opened the door to allow Justin to enter. As they strolled over to the nearest vacant booth, Debbie spied Brian’s hat and burst into hysterical laughter.

"What the fuck is on your head, kiddo?" Debbie asked as she cackled her way behind the counter to get Brian a coffee.

Justin wisely said nothing as Brian removed the object of attention off his head then shoved it into his pocket.

The incident nor the hat was ever mentioned or seen again.