BRIAN

Gus came with us to help Mel move into the house. Her cousin was so relieved to have Mel out of her house that she practically packed all Mel’s shit and was ready to dump it on her front lawn. Justin went with Mel and Gus to get her things, while I finished taking care of business at Kinnetik.

On my way over to the house, I realized this would be the first time Justin and I had been back in the house together since I came home. It didn’t feel like a home anymore as I looked around. Everything was staged in a way that it seemed sterile, not warm like the new house. I let Hunter know if they wanted to change anything, just to donate the things they didn’t want, it didn’t fit into the home we now had versus the house we lived in the first part of our marriage. Cameron went with his grandmother, since he’d be away from her for longer than he was used to. Justin went to our old bedroom, which Ted had cleared out, not wanting us to see what Michael had done in there.

“It’s weird to see it empty.” Justin tell me.

“When we sell it, maybe the next family will find what we didn’t here.” I tell him.

“I never hated the house, it was more that the bad memories seemed to outweigh the good ones. It got to the point where I hated coming into this room, because even when you came home, we barely looked at each other. It was like the excitement at seeing each other was gone, it was replaced with two people who were just sharing the same space.” He tells me.

“I didn’t want to cross the boundaries we were setting. When we were starting out, that was the only time you left; when I crossed the boundaries we set.” I tell him.

“I misinterpreted it as you not wanting me near you. I hated that we had to fight to want each other.” He tells me.

“Alex and I talked about why I defended Michael, over you.” I tell him, since we had been avoiding it.

“Did you figure out anything?” He asks.

“He thinks that I still saw Michael as the kid who got his ass kicked by the bullies, and because of my past, I still wanted to see him as the kid who brought me home and let me stick around. It became normal for me to protect him from the world. I think Alex was right, that I didn’t want to let go of what I knew, because I wasn’t sure of where I really stood with you, at least in the beginning. My thoughts on it; that I didn’t trust you, because everyone I knew expected something in return for their friendship. Lindsay used me to keep her parents from cutting her off and to taunt people that we were friends, something she continued even after she married Mel. Michael liked the power he thought being friends with me gave him, and made sure people knew the only person I kept around was him. Deb used me to protect her son. You, on the other hand, came into our relationship on equal footing, and cynical bastard that I am, I waited to see what you’d do. Then used Michael to keep a distance between us, so if you finally left, I could pretend it didn’t matter. Only, you left and I went to find you, and started the cycle again.” I tell him.

“It didn’t help that we weren’t telling each other things. Although if you had tried to tell me what Michael was doing anytime you planned to spend time with us… well, I want to say I would’ve listened, but it would be a lie.” He tells me.

“I can’t lie to you and say that it doesn’t bother me that you seem to be hiding something else right now. I support you and only you, so don’t see it as anything but me feeling like you still don’t trust me.” I tell him.

“How did you find out?” He asks, going to look out the window.

“I’m more interested in why you didn’t want me to know.” I tell him.

“I didn’t start it with any intentions other than investing in the place I live. There were people that needed help to keep their stores open. I bought up the buildings and cleaned them up, not upping their rent, because the payoff wasn’t about making money but liking those places. For a while I couldn’t find my place here, and when I went to the parts of Liberty Avenue that didn’t include… well, people who only whispered behind my back, it was nice to have people who genuinely just got to know me. It’s not like I couldn’t afford to help them. I wanted to give back to people who made time to get to know me. I bought the diner only because it was close to shutting down, even with the massive crowds that showed up. I know I didn’t go there often, but when I did, it killed me to see the kids walking in and staring at the menu, not because they couldn’t decide what to get but because they needed the meal that would last until they could afford the next one. They didn’t want charity, but they also needed more than a bowl of soup and the crackers they could stuff in their pockets for later. So I bought the place, not caring if it ever made a profit, just that those kids could come someplace warm and eat. I really never intended to do anything else, but Deb pissed me off when she loudly commented on one kid who looked like someone roughed him up, and she told him to save his trick money since he couldn’t work. She did get him some food, but she embarrassed the kid in front of everyone, expecting him to be grateful she served him something.” He tells me.

“How did you know about it?” I ask.

“Hunter told me. He was there when it happened and later found the kid in an alley, pretty much ready to give up. He came to me when he convinced the kid to talk to me. He was worried about the kid because he knew the look in the kid’s eyes. I take pictures of the worst things in the world, but nothing compares to seeing someone not seeing the point in continuing on. Hunter taught me that throwing money at the kid wouldn’t do anything, but if he could see a future beyond what he was doing to survive, then the kid wouldn’t see a dead end, but a beginning. I’ll admit I got pissed when I asked why Deb got away with the saying that to the kid, and decided the diner needed a manager who wasn’t there just wasting time until a new job was available. I got the idea from you and your intern program, after Ted explained that not all the kids that come to Kinnetik to intern are college kids. You know I really fell harder for you when I found out your secret.” He tells me.

“I see potential, it’s nothing more than that.” I brush off.

“A graffiti artist?” He asks.

“An artist is an artist no matter what his medium. What I saw was an artist who had a following and gave me an idea for a campaign. When I explained to Murph what I wanted, he didn’t create what I wanted. So I went to the person who could and offered him a job, which he earned. Why not tell me what you were doing?” I ask.

“When I started, it wasn’t about revenge or anything else. It gave me a way to stay busy and not think, because when I did it was wondering why I stayed, when before I would have just moved on.” He tells me.

“Why did you buy Michael’s building?” I ask.

“I was being a vindictive asshole with that one. Michael stopped paying the rent and the owner of the building heard I was interested in real estate. So when I found out one of his renter’s was Michael and he’d been evicted and the property seized, I decided to show him what it was like for me to take something from him. I won’t lie to you, I wanted him to hurt for hurting our family. I figured I’d sell his shit and make sure Jenny can decide what she wants later in life. Which, with the money Michael put into those fucking toys, he could have put Jenny through college and bought her a car.” He tells me.

“I planned to make sure she didn’t have to worry about it.” I tell him.

“I know, but it’s his responsibility, since he beat Lindsay and Mel over the head with the fact that he was Jenny’s father anytime it suited him, but didn’t bother beyond that to support her. It pissed me off that Lindsay once again came to you when she and Mel should have been going to Michael.” He tells me.

“Were the diner and Michael’s shop the only things that included the people in my life?” I ask.

“No. But I didn’t buy into the Bloom Gallery for any reason other than I like Sydney for giving new artists shows, even when no one’s heard of them. The only reason Lindsay didn’t get her job back was because Sydney didn’t want her back. When Sydney retires, he plans to sell me his interest in the gallery. I wanted to keep it in case Gus is still interested in running one after college.” He tells me.

“Does Lindsay know?” I ask.

“No reason for her to know, since I agree with Sydney about why he didn’t want to employ her again. I also wasn’t all that impressed with her when she worked at shows, since she seemed more interested in socializing and impressing people. I really didn’t want her and I to have problems, for Gus’s sake.” He tells me.

“What are your plans with Deb?” I ask.

“Nothing, if she does her job, which, with the previous managers, unfortunately included doing anything she wanted. Ryan Bradshaw won’t be intimidated by Deb, hopefully she’ll listen, if not she’ll learn exactly why he I choose him.” He tells me.

“Why bother, when I can already tell you she is going to use her influence to make his life miserable.” I tell him.

“It worked because people who worked there didn’t see the job as more than a place to work until they got a real job. Now if they stay they get offered the chance to go to college or finish school, and if they take us up on it, there’s a raise to help them with college expenses. If they choose a field like management, then they will be offered a chance to train to one day manage one of the restaurants that Ryan owns if they want to move, or one of the ones I own if they want to stay in the area.” He tells me.

“We are talking about Ryan who owns Ryan’s International Foods? I thought he retired?” I ask, not really surprised Justin knew the man who supplied food for the most extravagant restaurants in the world.

“He did, but he’s bored, and his wife wanted to move here when his daughter decided to come here for college. I mentioned to him about the diner and other businesses and he liked the idea of something less stressful than what he was doing. I didn’t tell you not because I didn’t trust you, but because since we’ve been together we have other things that were more important.” He tells me.

“Do we need to talk about my reasons for being an asshole?” I ask.

“Eventually. But right now I really want to concentrate on what’s ahead of us.” He tells me, moving from the window towards the middle of the room.

“You said this to me once and it’s true now. I’m sorry I was late coming home.” I tell him, meeting him in the middle.