BRIAN 

Walking in to see Deb consoling Michael wasn’t going to make what I had to say any easier. I knew Deb didn’t like Justin, and most likely was happy I had managed to fuck up with him. She looked at me with the look she gave me anytime she decided I was the reason her son got in trouble. It's the look that always had me taking the blame for Michael, because of my fear of losing the only mother I acknowledged. She didn’t seem to know what to do when I didn’t say anything. What she doesn't realize is that losing her and Michael isn’t nearly as painful as losing my husband and children.

“How could you kick Michael out, when he still needs you?” Deb asks, glaring. 

“Ma, it isn't his fault. The blond shit is trying to come between us. He never liked how Brian would rather spend time with me. Remember the wedding none of us were invited to? I told you he'd try to do something to split us up.” Michael tells us. 

“I know baby, but maybe it will open Brian’s eyes this time. Brian, I hate to speak ill of your husband…”  

“Justin.” I interrupted her.

“Like I was saying, I don't like to say anything that sounds less then nice, but he's always treated everyone like he's better than us.” She tells me. 

“He does Brian, he seemed to hate me from the start. You know he used Jenny to get to me. Let's not even mention how he let Hunter stay at your house, when I needed Hunter to help me.” Michael tells me. 

“It wasn’t right to let Hunter take off when Michael needed him. Hunter won't even take my calls and I know HE has something to do with it.” Deb tells us.

“Hunter should be home, but instead he's acting like he’s mad at me.” Michael tells us. 

Listening to the two of them, I started thinking back to anytime Justin was around them, and realized they never used his name. In fact, they went out of their way to interrupt if anyone was talking to Justin. As for Hunter, what I remember about the funeral wasn't pretty.

He argued with Michael that Ben wouldn’t want a burial, but to be cremated. Michael told Hunter what Ben wanted didn’t matter, the funeral was going to be how he and Deb wanted it to be. At the church, Michael told Hunter to sit with the girls because he wanted Deb and me next to him, and that Hunter needed to take care of Jenny. Hunter sat with Justin, which had Michael saying I should have told Justin to stay home. By the time we reached the cemetery Hunter didn’t even try to sit with Deb and Michael. Deb chastised Hunter for not saying anything when people were asked to speak about Ben, but left Michael alone when he wouldn’t. When he left with Justin, I ended up crawling up Justin’s ass for not bringing Hunter back to the house for the wake. Not even acknowledging what Deb and Michael did to Hunter, then ignoring the fact that neither of them seemed to notice Hunter wasn’t there. At this point I was trying to find anything I did right, anything that would convince Justin not to go through with the divorce. I was coming up empty. I shook out of my thoughts in time to hear Deb saying something about Michael selling his house.

“I think you two should consider it.” Deb tells him. 

“Consider what?” I ask, missing what they'd been talking about.

“Michael can't live in the house he and Ben were happy in. Why not let him move in with you, now that… Justin is obviously gone. I could even come over everyday and make sure you boys don't have to worry about household things.” Deb tells me, which only sounded like my nightmares come to life.

“I think we should sell your house too, and find one together. It would be a fresh start for both of us. It would also tell the boy toy that you’re moving on. Think about it, no more ball and chain expecting you to come home to a life you never really wanted. I told you he was a mistake.” Michael says, excited at visions of living with me.

I took a deep breath, because this was my fault. I couldn’t blame Michael for thinking I'd want what he and Deb were talking about, since I'm the one who treated my marriage like it was second to Michael. Then, what Gus said before he drove off made it impossible for me to stay calm. Did Gus really feel like I was becoming my father? This last year, everything I did was something my father would have done. I ignored everything I should've done, just to take care of Michael. Looking at them, I realized they were practically gleeful over the idea that Justin was leaving me.

“The only mistake I ever made was letting Justin believe you were more important. Go ahead and sell your house, but it will never be so you and I can live together. I'm done fucking up my life because of you and Deb. Understand one thing, from now going forward my only priority is Justin and my children. You expect Hunter to help Michael? Why should he, when you both treated him like crap when he needed you?” I tell them, turning and leaving to face whatever I have to do get Justin to at least agree not to get divorced.

“You'd turn your back on the people who were there for you... FOR HIM!” Michael screeches.

“Yes. But apparently I didn’t do it soon enough.” I tell him.

_________________________

I'm not sure what happened after I opened the door, just that I woke up with wires and monitors around me, and Justin ready to murder me, by the look on his face.

“Cancer. And you run off to party with Michael? Do you know how fucked up that is? Is he worth your health? Because right now I'm more then willing to hand over your care to the fucking guy you chose over our family.” He tells me, practically breathing fire.

“I can explain.” I tell him. 

“I'm sure you can. But the minute partying with Michael became important, and our children were left feeling second to that piece of shit, explanations no longer mattered.” He tells me. 

“Justin, I'm asking you to not walk away, even when everything I did means I deserve it.” I tell him.

“Fuck you. This doesn't change anything. I'm staying because no matter how much crap you did, I want Gus to find a way to get past his anger at you. Understand one thing, I'm having Deb and Michael thrown out of here and they are also barred from my house. If you have a problem with my decisions, then appoint someone else, and be ready to sign the divorce papers.” He tells me.

“Do what you need to do.” I tell him. 

 JUSTIN

I wanted everyone to leave me alone, but they didn't understand why I didn't want to trash Brian. Yes, I'm angry, I’m hurt, and I don't see a way back from his abandonment of our marriage. Mostly, I'm tired of everyone’s well meaning advice. I'm pissed that everyone doesn't understand that as done as I am at waiting around, I still love him and he's still Cameron and Gus’s father. Gus is already pissed at Brian and he doesn't need everyone vilifying Brian. Cameron doesn’t understand why we moved, and I need to take care of my children, not listen to Brian’s faults. Drew and Emmett showed up and let me know Brian finally surfaced. When Cameron saw them he was ready to go. 

“Please try not to mention anything in front of him.” I tell them.

“We wouldn’t, which is something you should already know.” Drew tells my mom, Daphne, and Mel, before taking Cameron with him.

“I'm sorry sweetheart, it's hard for all of us after what he did to you.” My mom says, pissing me off.

“Brian did it to Justin, not any of you. It's really not our business. ” Nick tells them, as I walk out to the backyard. 

“After that, you'd think I'd mind my own business.” Nick tells me, sitting next to me on the steps.

“Why can't everyone understand I don’t need them rehashing everything I had to live with?” I ask him. 

“It's a woman thing, you know, scorched earth and all.” He jokes.

“I dare you to go say that to them.” I tell him, smiling for the first time in weeks.

“Dude, you think I have a death wish? I like my bed.” He tells me. 

“Is it bad that I hope he wakes up and fights me?” I ask. 

“I'm not sure what to answer. I know you took longer than I would to leave him.” He tells me. 

“I kept waiting, as if he'd finally miss us. I may sound pathetic, but I can't just act like he wasn’t the man I love.” I tell him. 

“Why did you send him divorce papers if you're not even sure what you want?” He asks. 

“I've had them drawn up since he didn't show up for Gus birthday. I didn’t want Gus to think it was his fault, so i waited. Him not showing up for Cameron's birthday just made it clear that I was stalling.” I tell him. 

“I'm worried about you. I heard you agreed to another assignment.” He tells me. 

“I never wanted to stop, it's just another thing I gave up to be with Brian.” I tell him. 

“Justin, it's not something you should decide right now. Even if you and Brian divorce, there's still Cameron and Gus.” He reminds me. 

“They can come with me, it's not like the ones in the past. I already have a reason to be there, since I was invited to speak at a seminar in London. It's safe enough that I can bring the boys with me.” I tell him. 

“Are you bringing the boys?” He asks.

“Fuck no.” I said without thinking.

“Never lie to me, I've known you too long.” He tells me, getting up. 

It was selfish and reckless to even consider going, but I lived safe for years because I wanted to make my relationship with Brian work. Sometimes I wonder if I gave up too much for Brian. What did Michael do that made him more important than me? 

Brian was always complaining that I made it impossible for Michael and I to be friends. He didn’t get what my problem was, but then I never told him what Michael said the first time we met. The guys were all at the pool table when Michael whispered into my ear.

“Enjoy him, but when it comes to Brian, I'll always come first. In the end, he'll always chose me over anyone else.” He told me, kissing my cheek before telling Brian he wanted to go dancing.

Brian agreed to go, not happy when I told him I rather go home. He left with the guys, not coming home until almost dawn, drunk off his ass with Michael smirking at me as he dumped Brian in bed. He started to open his mouth to say something to me, but Ben came in to tell Michael they needed to get home. Which is the only reason Michael walked out without me kicking the shit out of him.

When Brian woke up he acted like an asshole for the next couple days. Then told me that Michael said I told him “I control Brian”. 

“So you stayed out all night to prove me wrong?” I ask, not giving a shit about Michael anymore.

“It's not like we promised to be exclusive.” He tells me. 

“You're right, we didn’t.” I told him, then called to say yes to a job I had turned down to spend time with Brian.

Brian chased me down, but it caused our first break up. It also made me willing to take more dangerous jobs. It was like I needed to do something to stay away from him. But spending weeks running from bullets only made me wish I was with him. His friendship with Michael made him a security risk. Which is why I couldn't tell him anything. When they vetted Brian, there was a problem with Michael and Deb, namely her signing a dead man's name to Michael’s birth certificate. 

Which means I knew when Michael was shoving his father out there as a hero. It's the one time Brian didn’t figure out I purposely did what I did. It was more because I was angry that these two were the reason I couldn't tell Brian anything.

Things got easier after Brian and I got married. Michael was still around but Brian stopped expecting me to put up with him. I liked Ben, even though his choice in men wasn't great. Ben didn’t let Michael opinions shade his, so we were able to at least be somewhat friends. Ben stopped Michael from randomly stopping by and seemed to know there was a reason for the animosity between Michael and me, though he never pushed to find out why. 

When Ben died, so did my marriage. Brian not showing up at my birthday was strike one, Gus’s birthday was the day I filled out the paperwork. If I had known where Brian was when he missed Cameron’s birthday, he'd have had them in his hands. I knew I couldn’t stay with him when a trick was more important than Cameron. Gus was already barely speaking to Brian by this point, but after finding out by overhearing Mel rant to Lindsay that no one should be surprised he'd rather get his dick sucked then be there for his children, Gus told me staying wasn’t worth his father forgetting all of us.

“Justin.” Nick snapped his fingers in my face, which meant he'd been trying for a couple minutes to get my attention.

“What?” I ask. 

“I know you don't owe Brian shit, but he’s been rushed to the hospital. Blake called, because the doctor told them he needed someone with the right to authorize treatment. Brian has you listed as the only person they can talk to, according to Ted.” He tells me. 

When I arrived at the hospital, Deb and Michael were arguing that they were Brian’s family and demanding answers from the doctor. Michael saw me and ordered them to make me leave. Telling everyone Brian didn’t need his soon to be ex husband making any decisions. The doctor walked straight to me and asked to see my ID, then he took me to his office, since Deb and Michael were trying to make it impossible for him to say anything to me in private. 

“We need to get Brian to agree to chemo, which for some reason he didn’t do after his surgery.” He tells me. 

“You need to back up, chemo, as in cancer?” I ask. 

“He didn’t tell you?” He asks. 

“We've been estranged for the last year. You might want to talk to him first and find out if he still wants me involved.” I tell him. 

“He already told me that you were in charge if you came. This trip to the hospital was more because he was dehydrated and exhausted. He needs to rest, because chemo is going to drain him even more.” He tells me. 

“Is he staying here?” I ask. 

“We'd  like to monitor him for a couple days. The doctor in charge of oncology will be in to talk to you both sometime today.” He tells me. 

Deb and Michael were outside the doctor’s office, causing a scene. I didn’t want to deal with either of them. “I need to make sure those two aren't allowed in Brian’s room.” I tell him.

“We greatly appreciate it.” He tells me, calling security.

“Please just ignore any yelling you hear from Brian’s room.” I tell him, going to face my husband.