MEL

After everyone either left or went to their rooms, I sat thinking about what I needed to do. Once Lindsay pressed charges against Michael, my need for her was pretty much gone. I didn’t even feel any anguish over the death of our relationship, just stupid for not seeing that it had been over long ago and the move to Canada just prolonged the inevitable. It was the part of me that hated failing and kept thinking that eventually we’d figure out where the relationship went wrong. 

It was just after hearing Lindsay on the phone sounding frustrated over something before hanging up - which my head automatically thought was that Brian wouldn’t answer her - when she said something that bothered me more. She mentioned Michael’s name and that she should have done it herself. I couldn’t think of any good reason that either of them would talk to the other. Her phone went off and she let out a sigh before answering again and proceeded to tell the person the only way she would help was for him to leave Jenny and Gus out of all of it. She hung up and I could hear the sniffling, since Lindsay has never been one to suffer alone. I stood there for a minute making sure I wouldn’t let the sad madonna look she would likely have the minute I walk in, appear, stearate me from my coarse.

She was sitting in front of the mirror staring at herself, looking as if she needed to find what was so wrong with her that her parents couldn’t love her the way they did Lynette. It’s something I did for the last few years, look at myself trying to figure out what made people love other people more than me.

“Did you come to gloat?” She asks, looking up at me.

“No, I wanted to make sure you weren’t letting them get to you.” I tell her, sitting on the bed.

“It’s not like I should have expected better. I guess it’s watching the way Jen doesn’t spend her life disapproving of everything Justin did in his life. She loves him even if he made decisions she might not agree with.” She tells me.

“Justin was lucky, he got a wonderful mother, and even with the crap from last year, a man that loves him. It’s part of the reason I have problems with their relationship. For years they made it seem easy, while there were days I couldn’t figure out why we were still together.” I tell her.

“Are you even willing to try to work this out with me?” She asks.

“I don’t need to, all I needed was for you to press charges on Michael. When we talked about you moving in here, it was just because I didn’t trust you to do the right thing, not in hopes of working anything out. I think we both know it’s been over for a while, it’s time to end it before we no longer like each other.” I tell her.

“Deb and Michael are still planning to sue you.” She tells me.

“What Deb decrees means nothing, grandparents really have no rights. The only one I was worried about was Michael; because he didn’t want Jenny for any purpose but his. Now Michael doesn’t worry me, I have enough that if he pushes me, he won’t even get supervised visitation. It’s something I don’t want to do, for Jenny’s sake, but will to insure that she doesn’t have to deal with him messing with her head. Even without hitting you, this last year wouldn’t look good in court for him. I have Brian to thank for what I know and have on him.” I tell her.

“How does it feel that you have to thank Brian again for saving you?” She taunts, only it no longer hurts.

“He’s always been a hero, only this time he’s mine, for looking past my shitty behavior. Because he won’t let Jenny be subjected to what he was. So in answer, it feels wonderful, and makes me ashamed of myself for the way I treated him. Although I will say it’s nice that he doesn’t expect anything for helping me, something new for me since I met you.” I tell her.

“If that’s how you feel, why stay here, you’ve never liked this house.” She tells me, as if my being here interfered with her plans.

“Actually, that’s what I came to talk to you about. Since Brian and Justin told me that Jenny and I were welcome to use this house indefinitely, we need to talk about where you plan to go. And don’t try to act like you don’t have a way to support yourself, we both know you have enough stashed away.” I tell her.

“Only because I knew I’d need it, just like the last time. You don’t care what happens to anyone but you.” She tells me.

“Obviously it must be my fault, because who would expect a grown woman to take care of herself? No one ever really expected Michael to either.” I tell her, knowing how little she liked anyone comparing her to Michael.

“It worked for years for him.” She mumbled.

“It isn’t working anymore. Brian no longer cares about anyone but his family.” I tell her.

“For now. But we both know Brian will eventually grow tired and shit all over Justin again. I don’t get why Justin can’t see that he’s giving up everything, for Brian.” She says, not really talking to me.

“When you really love someone, I guess you don’t feel like your giving up anything to be with them. Something you always felt like you did for me.” I tell her.

“If Justin wasn’t…” She suddenly stopped whatever she was going to say.

“He wasn't what?” I ask.

“Nothing. Just something I was arguing with someone over earlier.” She waves off.  “About moving out, until we’re sure about Michael and Deb, I want to be here to help. We can just do what we’ve been doing, ignore each other and help the kids.” She tells me, opening the door to the bedroom.

When the door closed I had to wonder what she didn’t say about Justin.

JUSTIN

Brian was thinking loudly next to me in bed. He wanted to leave after hearing what Max said. Ted and Blake talked to Joseph, who wasn’t happy that Max was skipping school but admitted that with work and school that he didn’t exactly keep the best eye on his brother. Blake offered to help anytime they needed it. Ted also told him they could look into alternative schools since Max was having trouble with bullies. 

Brian called Emmett and told him we were staying for a few days. He asked him to bring Cameron here when I told him we were staying until Nick had time to see if they could figure out if Michael was really behind this bullshit. I thought it would be better to keep Cameron away, but Brian told me at this point he wanted everyone he loved where he could see them. We had to be back in time for his treatment, but until then we didn’t have to go back. My mom came over with Gus when Brian told her we were staying. Gus didn’t say anything but that it was a total waste of time meeting the Petersons. Which put a big fat NO on anything they wanted from me.

“What?” I ask, leaning over to look at his face. He’d turned over and looked at the wall.

“I don’t like what I heard tonight.” He tells me.

“That you would only be with me if I was pretty.” I teased.

“Justin, this is serious.” He tells me.

“I’m not taking this as a joke, but you do realize that I can hold my own in a fight, right. Nick made sure I knew how to fight and when to get the fuck away. I had to train in order to be allowed to do some of the things they wanted me to do.” I tell him.

“No I don’t know that. It’s one of the things we spent years not talking about. It doesn’t change the fact that someone is willing to pay to have you hurt, or worse.” He tells me, angry.

“No, but it does make me curious.” I tell him.

“What about it does?” He asks me.

“Michael saying anything that compliments me. Can you really see him saying I was attractive?” I ask him.

“‘Pretty’ isn’t a compliment, when you think about it.” He tells me.

“It would be to Michael. I could see him maybe hiring someone to hurt you, thinking that’s the only reason I want you. It’s just, Michael never really got what you saw in me.” I tell him.

“He saw the way men’s eyes followed you. It used to drive me nuts, and he told me once it’s because they wanted what I had. So he might have hated you, but he wasn’t blind to you.” He tells me.

“BUT, if Michael was describing me he wouldn’t tell someone I was pretty, or anything else that didn’t make me sound like a gold-digging whore, or any of the other shit he used to refer to me as.” I tell him.

“Even with the shit he said, it’s not like he didn’t see you.” He tells me.

“Believe it or not, not everyone sees me the way you do.” I tell him, because I’ve always seen myself as average, yet Brian doesn’t.

“Michael would believe the only reason I wanted you would be how you looked. In the past it was all that mattered to me.” He tells me, yawning.

“It’s all that matters to most people. Attraction is important to people. You could say I was just as vain, since I’m with you.” I tell him.

“When we first met my looks didn’t sway you.” He tells me.

“You really think that? I spent all my time looking at your picture on Kinnetiks web site, trying to find a flaw.” I tell him.

“Did you find one?” He asks, closing his eyes, falling asleep.

“Only that I regretted saying no.” I whispered, waiting for him to start wheezing.

An hour later Drew was at the door with Cameron, and we put him in bed with Brian. I left before I ended up getting in bed with them. There was just too much going on in my head for me to sleep and I didn’t want to bother them. Nick came outside and sat next to me.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks.

“I find it hard to believe that Michael is behind this.” I tell him.

“What’s bothering you about it being Michael?” He asks me.

“Can you see Michael actually admitting that I’m good looking?” I ask.

“You have a point. Pretty, no; gold digging whore, then yeah.” He tells me.

“That’s why I don’t know if it’s Michael behind this.” I tell him.

“Who do you think is behind it?” He asks, not even really worried. He put me through my paces when I wanted to learn to fight and knew I could handle most people.

“Michael, possibly. Mel, only if she really hasn’t turned over a new leaf. Deb, but only because I’ve heard her refer to my looks as the only reason Brian was still interested. Lindsay, but only because she thinks Brian is the reason my career isn’t the same as it was when she met me. My dad, since he’s never been happy that I managed to live my life the way I want.” I tell him, he rolls his eyes at the last one. 

“Why Lindsay? She supported you and Brian. Mel didn’t, but if it was her, she’d want Brian to be the one hurt, not you.” He tells me.

“In Lindsay’s eyes, Brian is that shallow. I hope it is Michael.” I tell him.

“Only because you’ve been waiting for a reason to kick his ass. Ever think maybe it’s the two of them playing everyone?” He asks.

“Let’s hope not, for Gus. Why would Lindsay have been willing to put him in jail the other day if they were working together?.” I tell him.

“It would make it less likely, not rule it out.” Nick adds.

“Michael’s never been great at making plans.” Drew tells us, coming out.

“He’s good at manipulating people. I’ve always thought Lindsay was smarter, but now I have to wonder if maybe Michael just hides it better.” I tell them.