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DEB

 

I waited until my shift was over to go and see Michael. David called me, angry that I lied about Michael wanting to see him. He didn’t understand that I was just hoping that Michael would realize that David was really who he needed. I know it ended badly, but at the time Michael still had Brian to go to, and Michael couldn’t see past that to see David would give him the life he dreamed about. I knew Michael looked down on the life I was able to provide for him, even if I did everything I could to give him everything. 

 

I tried for years to get Michael to see that Brian wouldn’t ever be the kind of man he needed, but like every other man on Liberty Avenue, Michael fell under the spell of Brian Kinney. It was like nothing Brian did bothered Michael. Brian could call anytime and Michael would drop what he was doing to show Brian that he would be there for him. Vic tried to tell him to stop and go out and find a life and figure out that Brian would only ever want friendship. Michael lost it with Vic, telling him Brian was only doing what he needed to so he could be what Michael needed. 

 

Ben, God rest his soul, tried to help, but like David, competed with Brian. One of the reasons I couldn’t like Justin was because after he showed up, Ben was no longer happy with Michael. I knew he didn’t plan to leave Michael, but Ben was no longer willing to sit back and watch the famous ‘Brian and Mikey show’. He started comparing his and Michael’s relationship to the one Brian had with Justin, and I could see he found Michael lacking. Ben went against us and would seek out Justin to talk to him, and I didn’t like the way his eyes lit up anytime he talked to Justin. Michael didn’t care because it gave him time with Brian. Only I could see that Brian was no longer focusing on Michael, but on Justin. It became harder when Brian threw our own decisions in our face. If Justin wasn’t welcome at our houses than unless it was a family event we weren’t welcome at theirs either. Michael showed up at my house extremely agitated when Brian got on to him for trying to find a way to get Justin to accept us as part of Brian’s life. I was ready to go and tell Brian that he needed to tell his boy that we weren’t the ones who had a problem, but Michael told me that Justin managed to twist what happened and make it sound like Michael was trying to break him and Brian up. For the first time, I doubted my son, but then looked at him and knew he deserved praise for trying to offer an olive branch to Justin. Ben shook his head when I told Michael he tried and that was more than Justin ever did with us.

 

I decided to walk to Michael’s, because even with everything Hunter said, it was hard for me to believe that my son would do any of the things Hunter told me. I got past one of the shops that I’d seen Justin go to when he came to town and saw Lindsay’s car. I wanted to talk to her after what she did, but stopped when I saw a man get out of her car, arguing with her. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I could tell Lindsay wasn’t happy with what she was hearing. I looked at the guy and he looked familiar but I couldn’t place him. All I knew was that Lindsay was more likely to do what Hunter was talking about than Michael. I hate saying it, but my son really wasn’t very good at making plans, but Lindsay was a devious bitch who manipulated people. She’d done it for years with Brian and Mel, then when Michael wanted rights to Jenny, she screwed him over using Ben and Hunter. It wasn’t like I didn’t know that Michael had no business raising a kid, but for her to let her shark of a lawyer make Michael sound like a deviant was one step too far, in my book. After she had Michael arrested, even though he did do what she told Carl, it was wrong when she was the one to taunt Michael. 

 

The guy got out of the car and started heading in the same direction I was. Lindsay was too busy taking out her frustration at whatever they were talking about on her steering wheel to see me walking by. She peeled out after I passed her, looking frantic. 

 

The guy kept walking, not seeing me, and I followed him. He stopped when he got to a group of street kids. I stopped when I got close enough to hear what he was saying.

 

“All I’m asking is that you make a little trouble for the guy if he comes around here. If he gets a little or a lot bruised, then I’ll give you a bonus.” The guy tells them.

 

“How much?” Max, Joseph’s brother asks.

 

“I can get you five hundred up front, but I need to talk to my partner about how much more he’s willing to pay you, for how much you do to the guy.” He tells Max.

 

“Dude, five isn’t going to help anyone if we get caught. So fuck off.” Another kid tells him.

 

“Let me talk to my partner and maybe we could up it to a grand.” He tells them, walking off.

 

I knew it wasn’t Michael, and wanted to call Brian and tell him exactly who it was, since Lindsay was still allowed around his circle. The guy got in a cab and I lost him, but knew it would eventually come to me who the guy was. Max looked at me, but instead of coming to me he tried to walk past me, as if he didn’t expect any help from me. It was the look I’d been getting from everyone lately. I wanted to remind them that I was once the person who everyone came to.

 

“Who was that guy?” I asked, stopping him.

 

“None of your business, since you probably agree with him.” He tells me, yanking his arm away and walking off.

 

“I want to help.” I yell.

 

“Who, your son or that guy, which is probably the same thing.” He yells, leaving me standing there.

 

“What?” I glared at the people looking at me like I was the one trying to pay someone to hurt Justin. 

 

The bus pulled up and at that point I didn’t want to deal with people looking at me like I should be ashamed of myself. I got off a block from Michael’s house, still upset that people were turning on me. When I got around the corner from Michael’s house, I couldn’t be seeing what I was. The guy was there, coming out of Michael’s house. It couldn’t be true, maybe he was threating my son.

 

“Look, a grand is more than those kids make in a month. They were just trying to get more, so stop letting them hustle you.” Michael tells him.

 

“This is getting stupid, all I wanted was a chance again with Brian. You told me we could convince him to leave that asshole, but from what I see, Brian wants him.” The guy tells him.

 

“Kip, what we are offering will give Brian everything he keeps the shit around for.” Michael tells him, and now I knew why the guy looked familiar. He was the one who tried to blackmail Brian in the past. Only, apparently he was after more than a job from Brian.

 

“Brian hasn’t even looked at other guys since he married the guy.” Kip tells him.

 

“Brian was only doing it because the asshole made him. With us, he’ll be able to go back to the life he really wants.” Michael tells him.

 

“At least they think Lindsay’s involved now. You were right that she’s not exactly brillant. She’s more worried about losing her hold over Brian through his kid.” Kip tells him.

 

“Yeah, it’s why I decided to go the kid route. Brian might pretend he likes the brat he had with the shit, but in the end he would love one that was his more.” Michael tells him.

 

“Did you do it?” Kip asks.

 

“Everything was being done when I left, once she confirms she’s pregnant, I’ll tell Brian we’re going to be parents. It would help if you could get your part done. How fucking hard is it to convince someone to put the shit in the hospital?” Michael tells him.

 

“They all act like I’m asking them to hurt a freaking martyr, what the hell did the guy do to make people want to protect him?” Kip asks.

 

“They are likely more worried about Brian than him. Look, it might be better to find someone who has a problem with gay men, they don’t need a reason to want to fuck with one of us. It’s likely they’d do it for free.” Michael says, like he doesn’t care that the kind of guys he talking about would likely kill Justin.

 

“Sorry, but I don’t plan to put my ass in danger no matter how much I want Brian. If you want that, you can go and hope they don’t use your ass for practice.” He tells Michael.

 

“Then don’t expect me to share Brian with you. You’re the one who came to me when Brian turned you down. I was only offering you a place in our life, so if you want out then fine, I can find someone who would at least interest Brian.” Michael tells him.

 

“He fucked me twice, which is two more times than you.” Kip threw in his face.

 

“What did you expect when you showed up naked? He ended up coming to Babylon, telling me that you were barely worth his time.” Michael laughs at Kip.

 

“Really, then what about you, what does that make you?” Kip tells him.

 

“Still supporting you, so remember that, and do what you promised me you could. If you don’t, I’ll dump you back in the shithole you were living in, since no one wants to employ a guy who lied about being harassed.” Michael tells him.

 

“I would have gotten away with it. Why didn’t you use that video you made of me and Brian talking in Babylon?” He asks.

 

“It was only to get you to back off. The last thing I wanted was for Brian to lose his job, I’ve had enough of living like I did with Ma.” Michael tells him.

 

“Then why not take that old guy up on his offer, it would be the same thing.” Kip tells him.

 

“David’s money can’t compete with everything I want from Brian. I could get you an introduction to David if you do what I ask.” Michael tells him.

 

“I want Brian, not some old guy. I wouldn’t be opposed to someone willing to set me up in style, but with Brian, people would see me as more than arm candy.” Kip tell him.

 

I didn’t want to hear anymore, because no matter how much I want to believe Michael isn’t involved, every word I hear makes it worse. It made everything I guilted Brian into doing that hurt his relationship with Justin even worse. Hunter was right, because even though I hear it come from Michael, I don’t want to believe it. I didn’t know how to protect Michael from himself.

 

BRIAN

 

When we got home I was tired again, and tried to argue that I wasn’t ready to fall on my face in bed. When Justin offered to take a nap with me, I stopped trying to pretend, only because I could see he was tired too. Gus has already put Cameron down for a nap and told me that he could wait until I was up to talk about anything. 

 

I went down and told Emmett and Drew to go home, if we needed anything Daphne and Nick were here. They both were ready for alone time, just like I was, even if it meant doing nothing but sleeping in the same bed with Justin. 

 

Justin checked on Cameron and Gus and then went to take a shower. When he laid down we turned and just looked at each other. Justin’s hair was getting longer than usual, it was such a nothing thought, but it relaxed me. Justin put his head on my chest as I closed my eyes, and I felt wetness on my chest. 

 

“I’m going to be okay.” I whispered.

 

“I know, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t scaring the shit out of me.” He tells me.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.

 

“You needed me to be stronger, but right now I don’t have to be.” He tells me.

 

“You’ve always been stronger, but it feels good to know that you trust me to take over when you need me to.” I tell him.

 

“I shouldn’t have taken off like that, but I knew we were just spinning our wheels unless we could find out what was going on.” He tells me.

 

“What made you do your first job?” I ask, distracting him.

 

“When I realized who the guy was, my only thought was that I didn’t need him being a reason for another show. I called Nick and told him who I thought it was, and he was able to confirmed it.” He tells me.

 

“They didn’t monitor your calls?” I ask, since he was willing to tell me.

 

“Why would they? It’s not like they would have connected Nick to me, and I called Daphne at the hospital, so if they did they would have thought I was talking to my girlfriend. Which I did most of the trip.” He tells me.

 

“I get why Nick isn’t worried about you, you don’t really just do something without thinking about it first.” I tell him.

 

“Just like I did when I agreed to move here and start a family with you.” He tells me.

 

“Nothing she said made me think otherwise.” I tell him.

 

“I know that in the past that it bothered you when she’d bring up opportunities that I passed on to stay here.” He tells me.

 

“Justin, if you wanted to do something, nothing stops you. If you passed up something, it’s because you wanted to.” I tell him.

 

“I’m glad you finally get that. I know there were times you blamed yourself when I didn’t accept offers, but as far as I’m concerned, Cameron and Gus are only young once. Being their father is more important to me.” He tells me.

 

“What if this baby isn’t mine?” I ask.

 

“We’ll worry about it when it happens, until then, we need to figure out if it is.” He tells me, falling asleep.

 

I woke up a couple hours later turning over and seeing him, and that made it easier to get up and face whatever we needed to, in order to end this and show him the marriage I promised him.

 

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