BRIAN

After this morning with Mel and Lindsay, Lindsay called again, trying to get Gus to come home to their house. When he refused, she asked to talk to Justin, and Gus sarcastically told her that his father was busy, before hanging up the phone on her. Daphne and Nick came over an hour later. Daphne sat down next to me, and didn’t read me the riot act.

“I tried to talk to Mel, but she isn’t listening. I called my cousin who said it really didn’t matter now that Gus is seventeen. He can pretty much choose where he wants to live.” She tells me.

“Justin will appreciate that.” I tell her.

“Brian, I know I’ve never been very welcoming with you, but Gus’s life won’t be better without you. I promised Nick I’d stop interfering because I probably caused some of the problems between you and Justin. Just know he had a hard time with leaving you.” She tells me, getting up and going to check on Justin and Gus.

“That must have hurt her to say.” I joke when Nick comes out and hands me a glass.

“It’s high protein and calories, which you need because you're underweight and need to bulk up for chemo.” He tells me.

“Were you talking to my doctor?” I ask.

“Justin told me what the doctor was worried about. You only have two weeks to gain some weight before chemo takes it off you. So drink up, because you need this at least five times a day along with eating every two hours.” He tells me smiling.

“I’m starting to think it would be better for me to leave.” I admit to Nick.

“I think you and Justin don’t need any more people pushing you apart. Mel never liked that you and Justin were together, anymore than Michael does.” He tells me.

“She didn’t like me, and then when Justin agreed to see me, it pissed her off. Up til now she only made sure I knew how she felt. Normally she left Justin out of this.” I tell him.

“She overestimates her influence on Justin. He liked her, but never really understood the dynamic of her and Lindsay. I doubt he would have stayed friends with her and Lindsay if he didn’t fall in love with Gus. In truth, I think he only let Lindsay around because he worried about the way Mel talked about you to Gus.” He tells me.

“Was this before we met?” I ask, because I never saw his friendship with Mel and Lindsay as anything but him liking them.

“It was before, he met Lindsay when she helped arrange one of his shows. Gus was there and Justin let Gus hang out with him because Lindsay was busy and Gus was bored. After that Lindsay started inviting him to the house when he was in town. They all hung out, but Justin really stuck around because Gus wanted him to. When you and Justin got together he was trying to make it easier for you by keeping Mel off your back.” He tells me.

“I never really thought it was more than him and Mel being close.” I tell him.

“He knew you didn’t like the idea that he was trying to protect you. That’s why he let you believe he valued his friendship with Lindsay and Mel. If you’d known what he was doing, you would have been pissed at him for doing it. Justin reads people and can calculate how they’ll react to things, which is why he left Michael alone for the most part. He knew when it came to Michael, anything he did would cause problems with you.” He tells me.

“I proved him right the night he challenged Deb when she talked about the made up bullshit about Michael’s father.” I tell him.

“You should ask him about that, because it was about more than you know.” He tells me.

“You aren’t going to tell me?” I ask.

“Nope. It’s time you and Justin start talking to each other. He doesn’t want the divorce, but he can’t see a way around it. My opinion is that you two have spent too much time not talking to each other and it led to both of you pushing away. Michael was really only a small part of the bigger problem that was already there from the beginning. Justin is used to not talking about things, because for years he couldn’t, and truthfully he didn’t want you to know something that would give you nightmares while he was gone. I’m the same way with Daphne, she doesn’t need to know the shit that happens when I go wheels up.” He tells me.

“It doesn’t stop us from imagining the shit. Justin never talked about what happened after we broke up the first time. Only making it seem like it was nothing, but if it was, why did it take him weeks before he went to see Gus?” I ask.

“I can’t tell you, just like he can’t. Just know he didn’t want Gus to see him for a reason. It also made it easier for him to avoid you, because we were told you showed up at the girls house after he called to tell them he was okay.” He tells me.

“We never talked about any of that.” I tell him.

“Brian, he couldn’t. It’s something you never understood about Justin at the time. He was frustrated because people in your life made it impossible for him to tell you anything.” Nick tells me.

“Why would the people in my life be a problem?” I ask.

“In order for us to tell our partners, wives, or family anything, we have to clear it through people. It’s not your standard background check, but one that checks out everyone you come into contact with. What Justin was doing isn’t anywhere near what we do with the intel he gives us, but it only takes one wrong person finding out and it goes from easy to clusterfuck in seconds. The only reason I was able to tell you anything was because you never mentioned Justin’s job to your friends.” He tells me.

“They knew what Justin did for a living.” I tell him.

“Brian, even when you wouldn’t admit to yourself that there was something more to Justin’s work, you subconsciously knew it wasn’t what everyone thought. Most likely you just didn’t want to believe he was more than what the public knew, but not once did you tell anyone your suspicions. It made it easier for me to get them to let me tell you.” He tells me.

“What was the problem with my friends?” I ask.

“Deb put a dead man’s name on a birth certificate as Michael’s father. She also lied to the hospital, saying she was married. Because of the close relationship you shared with Deb, I was told you couldn’t be trusted not to say something to her.” Justin tells me, from the doorway.

“You already knew that the night we went to dinner at her house?” I accuse him, wishing it didn’t sound like I was.

“I’ll go see if the kids need something.” Nick tells us, leaving the room.

Justin walked in and sat across from me, waiting as if I was going to berate him. For a second I almost did, before recognizing that if I wanted a chance with Justin, I could not to do what he expected from me.

“It’s why you never really wanted to be around them?” I ask.

“One of the reasons.” He tells me.

“The other being they treated you like shit.” I tell him.

“It’s not something I couldn’t have dealt with, but for you I tried to ignore it, unless they came after me alone.” He tells me.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask.

“You know about what Michael said when you introduced us, but it wasn’t the only time I dealt with him or Deb making sure to explain to me how unwelcome I was in your life. You surprised me when you didn’t come home and jump my shit for kicking Michael out of the house. Then didn’t at Ben’s funeral.” He tells me.

“When Michael showed up telling me you kicked him out of the house, I didn’t like that he thought you didn’t have a right to tell him he wasn’t welcome in our home. He called me in the middle of a meeting, telling me that he wanted to help you set up Cameron’s room, and I told him to leave you alone. So when he showed up acting like an ass about you telling him to leave, I told him it was your right because it was our home. They didn’t give you a reason to feel welcome at their houses, and I knew it wasn’t something I should expect you to do either. At the funeral, I didn’t know what the hell was going on in the bathroom, only that you were pissed and I just didn’t understand why you couldn’t leave Michael alone when his husband just died. It was easier just to deal with getting through the funeral, then talking to you later, which never happened because Michael started talking about how he wanted to die with Ben. You were already pissed at me over Hunter, so I stayed when Deb guilted me into taking care of Michael. Where did you go that day?” I ask.

“I took Hunter to the lookout so he could say good-bye to Ben in a way Ben would have liked. Hunter didn’t understand why nothing was done in a way Ben would have wanted it. He didn’t want to go back to Deb’s or Michael’s house because he didn’t feel like they cared he was there. He stayed with me and told me that he didn’t know how he was going to pay for college without Ben, and it didn’t surprise me that he didn’t even think to depend on Michael. I found out that Ben had taken care of it for Hunter, which was one thing that he did right as far as Hunter was concerned.” He tells me.

“That explains why he didn’t include Hunter in his will.” I tell him.

“Most likely because he knew it would piss off Michael for daring to not leave everything to him.” He says with a touch of bitterness.

“Likely, but he also made it so I thought Michael was helping Hunter, while not understanding why Hunter was being a brat to Michael. I question Ben’s motives a lot lately. He put me in charge of the money he left Michael, and apparently Michael lied about the money he told me he needed for Hunter. Which I honestly don’t give a shit about anymore. Ted is going to help me hand over everything to Michael, since Ben didn’t stipulate I had to oversee it.” I tell him.

“You think Michael won’t try to use that as a reason to keep you where he wants you?” He asks.

“I don’t care if he does, because I won’t let Michael be another reason I lose your trust in us.” I tell him.

“I’m trying to believe you, but it’s not easy, after not just this year but the whole time we’ve been together. Hunter told me last night that  trust was something we could rebuild, and I at least want that, if nothing else. I miss our life, but I can’t go back to the way it was. Rationally I know you love me, but when Michael is around it doesn’t matter what I know, because you become this person that I can’t even respect.” He tells me.

“Maybe it’s time we start over, without all the baggage. Deb and Michael are out of my life, because my relationship with them isn’t a healthy relationship. Neither of them were even concerned about why I landed in the hospital. It was about them and wanting to get you out, not about what happened to me. It’s the way they’ve always been, but I didn’t allow myself to see it, because they were the only family I had until you.” I tell him.

“They aren’t going to go quietly, I know they’ve been calling you the whole time. I felt your phone going off the whole time you were trying to stop me from ripping into Mel.” He tells me.

“I’m changing my number and I think it would be good if we changed all the numbers they have. It won’t make them stop trying to show up, but it’s something to at least stop them for now. I’m going to tell Cynthia and Ted that Michael and Deb aren’t allowed to come to Kinnetik, which I’m sure will help me make up for some of the shit to Cynthia. I don’t want to ask, but with the shit Mel just did, we don’t need them showing up here either. I don’t want Mel’s problem with me becoming your problem.” I tell him.

“She did that on her own, by thinking she had the right to tell me what to do in my house. Which reminds me, can you explain who told you about the way she talks in front of Jenny?” He ask, once again proving he never misses anything.

“Lindsay would mention it when she called and wanted me to pay for something that she and Mel couldn’t afford. She made it sound like the reason Mel was complaining was because Michael wasn’t helping out. Right now she’s likely hoping Mel doesn’t find out where all the extra money was coming from.” I tell him.

“How much were you giving her?” He asks.

“Over time, no more than what I paid them for Gus. I didn’t want Jenny to go without things that Gus had. Why?” I ask.

“Lindsay never stopped Mel from saying shit about you, yet she was coming to you to help out, never once telling Mel and me that you were. She didn’t join Mel in her rants about you, but she also didn’t tell Mel that it was you who supported their household.” He tells me.

“I guess they’ll have more reason to rant about me. I won’t let Jenny go without things, but I’m also not going to let Lindsay hide where the money came from. If Mel tries to force Gus to live with them, then she needs to know the facts, not Lindsay’s version of them.” I tell him.

“I had Daphne check about that for me.” He tells me.

“She told me, and even if Mel wants to try, Gus is going to be eighteen soon and I doubt she could get it to court.” I tell him.

“Well at least one good thing came out of all this.” He tells me.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Gus is too pissed at Mel and Lindsay to remember being pissed at you right now.” He tells me.

“What about you?” I ask.

“It feels good to see you being you, the rest, we need time to deal with.” Justin tells me as Cameron comes walking in with his blanket.

“Nap, Dada.” Cameron tells me, climbing in my lap.

“Both of you need one. Why not take him to my room and lay down. I’ll have lunch ready, that you are going to eat when you to get up.” Justin orders.

“I guess we nap, baby boy.” I tell Cameron, going to Justin’s room.

JUSTIN

Daphne was sitting at the table, looking as if she wanted to confess her sins. Nick took Gus out to throw a football, telling me Daphne wanted to talk to me alone. I grabbed cups and poured us both coffee. Our friendship had been strained for a while, even though we both ignored it, we both knew it.

“Are you going to try again with Brian?” She asks.

“I’m not ruling it out, but I can see things I did as well as what he did.” I tell her.

“Nick and I talked about my part in it all. I can see where I wasn’t fair to Brian, your birthday party was pretty shitty of me. I wanted him to show up because I knew you guys were having problems, and when he didn’t. I felt like shit because it caused everyone to ruin your birthday by complaining about Brian. It pissed me off and I joined in, to excuse the fact that I hurt you.” She tells me.

“Which I need for you to stop. Just like Mel, I don’t want Gus and Cameron to hear anything that makes them view Brian as anything but the father that loves them. I don’t care what you say to me, but hurt them and you can join Mel.” I tell her.

“I shouldn’t say anything to you either, because you never once said anything about Nick.” She tells me.

“I never said anything because there was nothing to say about him. I can’t say what I would have done if he wasn’t the man he is. You got one of the good guys.” I tell her.

“Brian loves you, don’t ever doubt that what he did this last year will never make sense to me, because it’s the one thing I knew, that he loves you.” She tells me.

“Love wasn’t our problem.” I tell her.

“Is he still going to want Michael around?” She asks.

“He says no, but we both know Michael will be waiting around every corner.” I tell her.

“We could get Nick to send the team after them.” She jokes

“They’d do it, since they like Justin.” Nick snickers, with Gus laughing behind him.

“Thanks, but I think it’s better not to call out the troops.” I tell them, hugging Daphne as she giggles.