JUSTIN

I went to get Cameron up and dressed. He wanted to play with his toys, but I could tell he was waiting to see if Brian came to get him like he used to. I let him play, while I went down to make breakfast. I passed by the living room and saw Brian still sleeping and decided to let him get all the rest he could. It was strange to have him here and not with me, but right now it wouldn’t solve the problems we have. I thought a lot about what Hunter said and he had a point; that trust could be rebuilt. It’s just, the man Brian became wasn’t the man I married. Brian was missing parts of him that make him who he is. It’s something that only happens when he’s around Michael and Deb, they seem to get a pass that no one else does. With everyone else he doesn’t put up with anything he sees as bullshit. 

Gus came flying in the backdoor with Mel on his heels, and Lindsay slowly following behind. I wanted to scream that I didn’t need anymore shit on top of what was going on, but seeing Gus adopt his father’s blank stare when Mel told him to get his things, meant dealing with whatever she and Gus were pissed at each other for.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Gus told her, glaring at her.

“Gus, you are going to do as I ask, I’m still your mother.” Mel grits out.

“Unlike Justin, who you don’t think has the right to ask me to do anything, since he isn’t my father!” Gus tells her.

“Gus, can you go get Cameron. I have breakfast in the warmer for both of you. I need to talk to Mel.” I tell him.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Mel tells me.

“Obviously there is, since you decided to come here.” I tell her, walking out and waiting for her in the living room, glad that Brian must have gotten up since he wasn’t here. “Why is Gus upset?” I ask when she follows me.

“Because I was pissed at you for telling him he should try to talk to Brian.” She tells me.

“I didn’t TELL him he should talk to Brian, I ASKED him. Gus loves Brian, and needs to find a way to repair their relationship, for himself. He loves his father and I don’t want him to have the kind of relationship that I do with mine. Why is that a problem?” I ask.

“He needs to see Brian for the piece of shit he is. Since you seem to have forgotten the bullshit he did, I think it’s better for Gus to not stay here. I have to question your judgement when it comes to making the right decisions for my son.” She tells me.

“I have to question your decisions on what you say in front of OUR son and anyone else who will listen. I’ll fight you if you try to take Gus, unless he wants to go. Which, from what I see, isn’t the case.” I tell her.

“I don’t see a problem, since no judge in his right mind would let Brian have custody.” She tells me.

“Until now you didn’t have a problem with Gus living here alone with me, but because I let Brian come here, it’s now a problem?” I ask.

“Yes, it’s my primary concern, because you are making bad decisions about everything, including Gus. For once, Brian needs to have consequences for the shit he does, instead you let him back in your life. I don’t want Gus around you if you let Brian get away with his bullshit.” She tells me.

“I don’t want Gus around someone who can’t shut their mouth, and seems to go out of their way to hurt their kids, so I think you could say I don’t want him around you!” I tell her.

“Well it won’t be your decision, because if Brian stays, Gus won’t. Lindsay and I are his parents, not you. Just so you know, I’m also going to make it so Michael and Brian can’t see the kids. Since we know once Brian no longer needs you to take care of him, Michael will get him back.” She tells me.

“Get a good fucking lawyer because I plan to!” I tell her.

“I think stepfather verse mothers, won’t be hard to win.” She tells me, walking towards the kitchen.

BRIAN

I spent the night on the sofa, because sleeping without Justin wasn’t possible. It’s what led to the exhaustion, because when I wasn’t home, I couldn’t relax enough to get a decent night’s sleep. I managed to get a few hours and knew I couldn’t keep this up with Chemo coming. I spent the night trying to figure out a real reason for the shit I did to my family. I kept saying I liked being needed, but in truth, I didn’t like the way it made it sound like I saw what I did as Justin’s fault. Which he didn’t deserve, when he was the one holding our family together. 

I tried to give Gus a reason for the things I did, and saying it out loud, just came off as if I was a puppet Deb and Michael had all the strings to. I spent my life doing anything for Deb and Michael, because at one time they were all I had. I didn’t need Emmett to tell me why Justin and Michael couldn’t get along, hell it wasn’t like I didn’t know. I knew what Michael wanted from me, and I watched as Michael’s jealousy got out of control when Justin and I were together. I honestly didn’t see it as I was defending Michael, because it seemed almost as natural as breathing sometimes. It pissed me off that Gus would think I’d come down on him if he said anything to Michael, but what else could he think when it’s all he saw. 

When it was the normal time to get Cameron up for breakfast, it gave me something to do instead of pretending to sleep. I’d looked around after Cameron went to bed, and saw the differences in the house we owned together and the house Justin was creating. Thinking back, he left everything up to the decorator in the other house. The only areas the decorator wasn’t allowed to touch were Justin’s office and our bedroom. Those were the areas of the houses that resembled the house he bought to leave our marriage. 

When I opened Cameron’s door, it was to find him playing with his building blocks quietly. When he saw me, he got up and ran into my arms. He’d already been dressed, which means Justin had already taken care of one of the things that I made my job. I wanted to do what I could to alleviate some of the things that Justin did because no one else was around to do them. 

When Cameron was born, I did everything I could to be a good father to him. It was something I hated listening to, how I was barely there for Gus. Which not only came from Mel but also from Michael. Mel made a point of only talking about anything that made her into the good mother and me into the bad father. There were days that I took Justin up on the nights out with Michael and the guys because Mel and Lindsay would come for the weekend to see Gus. I got tired of the way Mel would remind all of us that Gus was only living with me because of Justin. I’m sure I’ll get to hear her crow about me being a complete failure in Gus’s eyes. 

Cameron and I were almost to the staircase when Gus came up the stairs. He came up to me and grabbed my arm and steered us away from the front of the house.

“Justin said to go down the backway. He doesn’t like Cameron to hear the things Mama says.” He tells me.

“Gussy happy?” Cameron asks.

“I always am when I get to see you.” He tells Cameron with a strained smile.

We got to the kitchen, avoiding the front of the house. I could hear Justin and Mel talking and found Lindsay hiding in the kitchen. Gus grabbed plates out of the warmer and sat with Cameron away from Lindsay. I guess Gus isn’t happy with any of us, from the way he glared when Lindsay tried to say something. I sat next to Cameron, and Gus got up to get a plate of fruit and toast for me.

“Justin said to eat it all.” Gus tells me.

“Gus…” Lindsay stopped when Gus glared at her.

“I don’t want to talk to you. Why not go out and decide my life, the way you and Mama apparently already did without including me.” He tells her.

“Honey, we just don’t think you should be here.” Lindsay tells him.

“I told you both I don’t care what you think. I want to stay with Justin.” He tells her.

“Brian, we really think it would be better for Gus to come live with us. Justin has enough to deal with and I’m sure you’ll agree, Gus doesn’t need to be here when you and Justin need time to decide how to dissolve everything.” She tells me.

“Why don’t you tell Dad what else you and Mama were coming here for.” Gus tells her, getting upset.

Lindsay looked down at the table, avoiding looking at Gus. “Gus, we just wanted to help Justin.” She tells him.

As the voices in the other room get louder, it didn’t take a genius to realize it was something I wasn’t going to like, and the fact that Gus was directing more of his anger at Lindsay said there was more to this than them thinking Gus should live with them. Cameron finished eating and I asked Gus to take him outside, because Justin raising his voice meant he was royally pissed. 

“What the hell is this about?” I ask Lindsay, who still wouldn’t look up from the table.

“Mel and I discussed it and we think it would be better if Gus wasn’t around you for a while. Mel wasn’t happy that he talked Gus into seeing you. I tried to tell her Justin was just trying to mend things with you, but she said Justin didn’t get to make those decisions for Gus, since he wasn’t one of Gus’s parents. Gus overheard us and got in Mel’s face saying that Justin has always been a father to him. Mel agreed that Justin did everything you never did for Gus, but said right now she didn’t feel Justin had Gus’s best interests in mind, because he let you come home.” She tells me, crying and wringing her hands.

“Let me get one thing straight with you, before I ask you and Mel to leave. Justin has always been the most unselfish person I know. Regardless of my fuck ups, he knows, even though none of you believe it, that I love my children and would do anything to erase the hurt that I caused because I forgot what was important in my life. It’s something that you and Mel can’t seem to figure out, because trust me, I know what Mel’s been saying to Jenny, and as much as Michael can be worthless as a father, that’s something that Jenny needs to find out for herself.” I tell her.

“I’m sure Michael told you what he thought would keep you at his beck and call, asshole.” Mel comes charging in.

“Mel, if you want to keep acting like a bitch, you do it somewhere other than my house.” Justin tell her.

“Actually it wasn’t Michael who told me, in case you're wondering.” I tell her.

“Well it really doesn’t matter, we just feel it would be better for everyone if Gus wasn’t here.” Lindsay says softly.

“What Gus wants doesn’t matter, only that you can use it to hurt Brian. Do you realize he is going to hate you for keeping him away from Brian, Cameron, and me, or is that okay with you because for once it makes you superior to Brian?” He grits through his teeth.

I didn’t give a shit whether Justin likes it or not, I walked over to him and held on as he started towards Mel. He was shaking with rage at the idea of losing Gus. It was different than before, because normally Mel never took out her anger at me on Justin, but also that he was defending me to her.

“He wants to stay with us, and Mel, you can yell, scream, or shout all you want, because Gus will be where he decides he wants to be. Don’t forget, you two signed over primary custody to me and Justin, who, no matter what you say, IS Gus’s other father.” I tell her.

“We’ll see about that.” She tells me, walking out of the house.

“I’m sorry.” Lindsay tells us running after Mel.

“I’m sorry too.” I tell Justin, because I knew this was about me, not Justin.

“Sorry’s bullshit, right now we need to make sure Gus is okay.” He tells me.

“I need to make a call, but tell Gus unless it’s what he wants, it won’t happen.” I tell him, letting him go.

Justin nodded, leaving to see Gus, and I picked up the phone to call Ted and Cynthia. I wanted everything in order if Mel tried to take this further. It pissed me off that she treated Justin that way because she hated my guts. She didn’t hate all the things she and Lindsay asked of both of us through the years, for not only Gus, but Jenny. I looked at my cell phone, that I had kept on silent since leaving the hospital and decided I need to do one more thing. I text Cynthia to pick up a new phone and number for me on her way here. Then I smashed the phone that hadn’t stopped going off since I was in the hospital.