CHAPTER 14: STRATEGY AND PLANNING

JUSTIN:

If ever there was a time that I may have contemplated a million ways to kill my lover in his sleep, THIS was one of those times! Being stuck in this conference room was one of the reasons I’d always shunned the idea of being a businessman. The other was because it would have made Craig all too happy… Although that’s debatable, since with the help of Kinnetik, Emerson is close to stomping out the competition of Taylor Electronics. I expect to hear of the bankruptcy soon, or at the very least a merger. If Craig is smart, he’ll take whatever Emerson might offer for the failing company, then take the money and run. It would be better than having the public humiliation of having to hold a ‘Going Out of Business’ sale, with everyone knowing that it’s because he couldn’t pay the rent or employees salaries. But when has Craig EVER been smart?

Which brings me back to the present… So far I’ve held four interviews and within the five minutes each of them lasted, I was ready to leave. Instead, I picked up my sketch pad while they were going on and on about why I should hire them, or outright deflecting and rejecting them when Clarence Lawson and Veronica Smythe- or more accurately, the bootleg and broke version of Snookie- thought that the way to get ahead in my company was to give me head. Thankfully Brian walked in at just the right moments to check on me, which curbed Snookie-lite, dropping to her knees with an attempt to blow me over.

“Well, Mr. Taylor-Kinney, I see that you’re becoming acquainted with your latest employee. I can come back later, if you want.”

“Ha, very funny, Brian,” I sneer in his direction, while the Snookie-lite tried to jump to her feet. She probably shouldn’t have worn that fucking condom-dress. That shit’s so tight, she should be pregnant with little latex babies by now. I roll my eyes as she keeps trying to get up, and look at Brian. “Please tell me there was something IMPORTANT that you needed?”

“Only to introduce you to your actual new assistants.”

“Seriously?” I ask him, as a familiar whirlwind shoots past him, into my office.

“I don’t believe that particular job would have been written in the employee handbook. Justin, why is Snookie-lite trying to perform Brian’s usual position?” Daphne asks me.

“Nice to see you too, Daph,” I snicker. “As for why, that’s something you should probably ask her as you see her OUT.”

Daphne finally gets the chick to her feet, advising along the way, “Girl, have some class about yourself! You give us personal assistants a bad name. First, lose the condom-dress; it screams desperate whore in every way, shape, form, and color. Secondly, why would Justin want you in ANY capacity, since you were bird-brained enough to disregard the fact that he’s gay and is co-owner alongside his HUSBAND? My third and final piece of advice is that you learn to research your potential employers. Google is useful for more than just watching yourself on PornHub. Okay? Got it? Good! Now buh-bye,” Daphne said, as she slammed the door in the stunned woman’s face.

“Jeez, you guys sure can pick them. It’s a good thing you called me and Daph, Brian, otherwise I doubt you would have been getting laid anytime soon. Justin’s balls would have been forced to hide every time he replayed that walking nightmare,” Hunter laughed.

“I hope she’s on birth control. No way that stupid bitch should ever procreate,” Daphne sneered.

“I know I’m probably going to be very sorry that I asked, considering who your best friend is, but why would that matter?”

“Because she must like the feeling of being fucked by fabric. I mean, who the fuck buys their clothes so damn short and tight that they would risk a yeast infection just from sneezing?! I can just see the headline now: ‘Woman gives birth to a latex baby named Gingham… No seriously, America!’ Stupid heifer!” We all break out in laughter as Daphne rants on. “That idiot just set the women’s rights movement back to Video Ho.”

“Speaking of ‘Ho’, we heard Lindsay’s here,” Hunter snickered. “What’s up her flat ass this time?”

“Plenty, and none of it pleasurable for her. The first thing that’s chapping her ass is that I’m home to stay. You both might as well know that she and Michael have joined forces to wreak havoc on my life, and my life with Brian- which in this case are two separate things. We finally announced to the public yesterday that Brian and I have been Legal Domestic Partners since before I left for New York. It’s a situation we definitely know she wouldn’t have wanted to be made public. And although we would have preferred to keep the our decision private between us, the fact that it’s no longer a secret gives us at least a modicum of security in that whatever Lindsay promised in order to get me to New York in the first place has no chance in hell of happening. Which brings me to the second issue...”

“Which is?” Daphne asks, processing the entire scenario of Brian and I were in our relationship at the time, leading us up to how we are now. It’s not hard to see her wheels turning.

“Lindsay has attached her name to mine, and has been acting as my agent, promising my appearance at several functions for her cunty friends where I have no intention of appearing. She’s already tried to impersonate Miranda to remove me from the competition, which backfired since the receptionist put Miranda on the phone to deal with her personally. Third, is that she has also tried to act as my pimp for the same reason, beginning with telling that rat-bastard Simon Caswell that Brian and I were no longer a couple so that the idiot would make moves to take his place. As if! But anyway, I’m pretty sure that there have been others she’s alluded to that I’m available and ripe for plucking, which is another reason that Brian and me going public was a good idea. And the fourth and final thing that’s going to rankle big time is that she’s now entered a contest she has absolutely NO CHANCE of winning simply to annoy the fuck out of me.”

“What was her purpose in doing that?” Hunter asks, just as confused as the rest of us were at first.

“Her ultimate belief is that if I don’t win, I should fire Miranda and hire her to run my career,” I answer.

“She needs to put the crack-pipe down! Or should we call her Lady Heroin? I hear its effects are faster and more potent since it goes right to the brain’s control center,” Daphne says.

I snicker before responding. “I told her that, in not so many words, but when has Lindsay ever listened, especially if she thinks her actions are for the greater good, and not just her own benefit? Well due to the fact that she lied publicly, she’s now going to be put in a position where she has to prove herself.”

“What are her chances?” Hunter asks.

“In an intense competition where the contestants are elite artists in Hollywood, and the current darling of the Fine Arts community? NONE! But that won’t stop her from trying. It doesn’t help that Stacy Peete is also here.”

Daphne gasps. “That psycho, chronically-PMSing chick who tried to make your life hell during the botched filming of Rage?!”

“That’s the one. Oh, and I’m pretty sure that Lindsay is going to enlist Michael to be her assistant.”

“Michael? As in Novotny-Bruckner? Michael, who couldn’t think his way out of a paper bag opened at both ends Michael?”

“One and the same, although his last name is back to being just Novotny- or it will be very soon at any rate. Ben kicked him out and then sold the house to me and Justin,” Brian interjected.

“Well finally he wised up about it,” Hunter said, without a trace of the expected sadness we thought would be in his voice. “I told him before I left that Michael was only using him, and that he should get away from the man as soon as possible. It’s not that Michael is all that bad, just no good for Ben.”

“No, Hunter. He’s worse than you could imagine now,” Brian tells him. “He stole from Justin, and when we found out about it… well, let’s just say that he’s lucky Justin opted to buy him out of the comic, instead of putting his ass in jail where he belongs. Meanwhile, he’d been sending money to Lindsay, but not for Jenny. In fact, it was to fund Lindsay’s extracurricular pursuits, including spying on me and Justin at Lindsay’s behest. Ultimately, their actions had put Melanie in the bind of trying to support them all, which in turn caused her to have to move back to Pittsburgh. There’s a lot more going on, but we should get you two set up first before filling you in on the rest.”

“Make sure you tell me about it later, dude,” Hunter advises. “If I know Michael, when he finds out that I’m back here, I’ll need to be prepared for whatever shit he’s apt to try. That especially includes him attempting to get me to take his side in the war he’s sure to wage against Ben for leaving him. It will be the live show of the classic poor, victimized Michael routine; I know it all too well.”

“What makes you so sure there’s going to be a war waged?” Daph asks him. “From what we’ve heard so far, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

“Because in Michael’s world, it’s okay if he has things, like a relationship. But the thing that’s always pissed him off is that Brian got into one with Justin, Ted rekindled his with Blake, and if word on the street is correct, Drew has given up a sexual smorgasbord for a commitment with Emmett. So like I said, the fact that Ben LEFT Michael and not the other way around is going to piss him off in a major way. Him leaving Ben would have acceptable if only to keep his illusion of dignity, which, let’s be honest… he doesn’t have any. But an infinitely-patient man such as Ben calling it quits lets everyone know that Michael as a whole person is sorely lacking in everything from intelligence and integrity, to his inability to face reality.”

“Sounds like we will have our work cut out for us acting as your assistants, Jus,” Daphne states, and already I can see the light of battle gleaming in her eyes.

“It will certainly not be a dull moment. But there is one more thing you two need to be aware of.”

Brian clears his throat. “While you, Hunter, will be Justin’s version of Cynthia here at the office, Daphne will be with him alongside Miranda. The only people you are required to answer to besides me and Justin will be Cynthia, Miranda, Melanie…”

“Mel?” Hunter asks.

“Yes, since she’ll be training you. Also on the list is Ted, and you’ll be able to conference with Murphy should the need arise since the Art Department is all going to be under the JTD portion of the business. The reason I am telling you this is because by now Michael and Lindsay would have received the packets advising that they are banned from Woody’s, Babylon, the Diner, Kinnetik JTD, the Loft, Michael’s former abode on Empress Lane, and that rat-infested amusement park formerly known as Red Cape Comics. I won’t put it past either of them to disregard what they are being told and put in an appearance at any of these places, simply because it did not come over officially as a restraining order. I didn’t want to do that yet because I wanted them to have a fair warning first; so that when they are arrested for trespassing, or perhaps more, they will not be able to say ‘I didn’t know’ or some of the other well-fed bullshit superman antics they will try.”

“So it’s setting them up in a way that they can’t scream of entrapment later?” Daphne asks, smiling. “This has your fingerprints all over it, Justin.”

I smile back. “Well, what can I say? I learned from the Master,” I answer, and grab Brian around the neck to kiss him softly upon the lips. I break away before we get too heavily involved to impart some other information to Hunter. “So, dude, I’m going to walk you around to meet everyone and explain your true job function before I have to be at the Alwin building. You will also have the largest office, across the hall from mine, so you need to make a preliminary list of everything you need and get it to Cynthia and Ted immediately.”

“Cool! Can I have it set up exactly like yours?”

I laugh. “Not quite, since you won’t be able to have a full en suite attached to your office. But in terms of a sofa and a fireplace, sure. The only other thing that I will request is that your entire office doesn’t resemble a dungeon or a law library. There are already built-in shelving units that can serve as your research area. You will also need to have a conference table for meetings with the administrative staff that you are going to be in charge of, once we finish the hiring process. I would advise that you confer with Cynthia about the criteria of that. All the other heads of departments, I will have to hire personally, but it will be your job to weed out the riff raff, even if they are coming from temp agencies, and do thorough investigations on the candidates we’re considering for permanent employment here. Does it sound like something you can handle?”

“You bet your bubble-butt I can handle this, Blondie. No one has a wider range of bullshit detector than I do, except for maybe you and Brian. I won’t fail at this, and thanks in advance for the vote of confidence.”

“Trust me, Kid. If Justin and I didn’t think you could live up to our expectations, you wouldn’t have ever been offered the position. One more thing though, watch the people who will be working for Justin closely,” Brian tells him.

“I thought that went without saying.”

“It does, but they will try to see just what they can do under the radar of your notice. There’s a reason that Cynthia is both respected and feared within these walls. There’s nothing that happens within this office that escapes her notice, regardless of whether she addresses it immediately or not. Take note of everything, no matter how minute, especially now that they will be under Justin’s field of the company. Not many people know him personally, or the way he works, but you do. Make sure they know it, and don’t worry about stepping on any toes. Justin and I will back your decisions no matter what, as long as you can explain your reasoning in full detail to us. Cynthia, Mel, and Ted are the only three you have to regard as if it’s me and Justin speaking to you directly. Remember that!”

“I will. And the benefits package?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Hunter returned Brian’s comment with a shrewd look and raised eyebrow, causing all of us to laugh. “Don’t worry about it, youngster. You and Daphne will be just under Cynthia’s pay grade at $150k each with the standard bonuses and raises accordingly, full medical, dental, and vision benefits, as well as a clothing allowance, which my top-level execs receive since you both will represent Kinnetik JTD. Also keep in mind that your jobs are not the standard nine-to-fives so you will also have the benefit of a company car to use. The coverage will be under Kinnetik JTD as well. This is far from an entry-level position, and trust me, you’ll earn every single bit of it. Between you and Daphne, you have to maintain contact with Cynthia and each other to coordinate all of Justin’s schedules with mine. That may include taking calls from our overseas clients at all hours.”

“When a client decides that it’s important, they never seem to give thought to American time zones,” Justin added, wryly.

“So as I’ve said, you both are going to earn every single copper penny we’re going to pay you. Still interested?” Brian asks.

Daph and Hunter look at each with a sense of wonder, before Daphne answers for them both. “How can you even ask that? Let’s get started!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

DASH AVENUE APARTMENTS

LINDSAY

Laying in my room, I’m loathe to have to face the little bastard I live with. I can’t believe how all of my carefully-laid plans for when I finally pressured Melanie into returning to Pittsburgh are turning out. It makes no sense! She was never supposed to find out about about Charles and Mimi. Which brings me to the question: how the fuck did Melanie find out? I’ve wracked my brain over and over again, trying to figure out what I’ve missed, if anything. But I keep drawing a blank.

Okay, so I lied to them when I said that my partner knew about my affair with them, and that we had an open relationship. I mean, if it worked for Brian whenever he was asked about Justin, why not for me too? I’ll admit that I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal, until Mel’s mutterings about some law while we were fighting about going to see Sam’s show in New York. Thank goodness Michael came through for me that weekend, otherwise I would have been stuck with a bitter Melanie and her screeching mini-me, since JR wasn’t feeling well. Anyway, I thought I had covered my shit pretty well… at least I did until we arrived back here.

I would accuse Justin of telling Melanie about seeing me in New York, but I don’t think he recognized me at the time. Whereas I usually wear my own hair down, I had donned a red wig cut in a short bob and a pair of stylish non-prescription glasses as a disguise, of sorts. He was there with that fucking Miranda, and had left the show after putting in an appearance for about a half hour. Of course, I could have explained away my presence if I had been discovered since I was still working at the museum at the time. Not that I think he would have bought that as a reason, considering it was Sam’s show and all. But I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing some vital piece of information, which led to Melanie finding out about Charles and Mimi.

The insistent knocking at my bedroom door interrupts my musings. “Lindsay? Are you awake? We need to talk!” Michael’s whine is as loud as if he’s in the same room with me, as opposed to being on the other side of the door. Curse Brian and Melanie for making me have to stay with him!

“Well if I was sleeping, I’m sure not doing so now, Michael. You might as well come in,” I say, pulling the duvet higher up to cover my nudity. I had to relieve myself in the middle of the night, and again this morning, after yet another reminiscence of my college fling with Brian. To know that Justin is getting all of Brian’s talents is infuriating in the extreme. But at least he can't take away that Brian did indeed make love to me on that long ago night.

I huff at the idiot still standing at the door when he knocks again. “Come in, Michael!”

He opens the door and I instantly want to hurl the brush next to my bed at him. “I would have thought you’d be up and dressed by now. And what’s that smell?”

I just stare at him for a moment, while he stands there sniffing the air. “Well, what is it that you want, Michael?”

He shakes his head, obviously bringing himself back from wherever his peabrain took him. “I thought we should talk about what’s going to happen this afternoon at the competition.”

“What do you mean what’s going to happen? Have you heard anything?”

“No. But that’s just it, too. I went to one of the other cafes this morning, since for whatever reason, I’m no longer allowed at the Diner. Some of the other contestants were there, and they said that there were some preliminary competitions being set up- one of which is supposed to be this afternoon after you all set up your workstations.”

“Did they say which one it is?”

“No, they didn’t. Or if they did, I couldn’t hear them. Besides, there were a bunch of heteros in there; I was too uncomfortable to really pay attention.”

I roll my eyes heavenward before responding. “Michael, they are people just like the rest of us. I mean, you’ve been around several heteros throughout your illustrious career at the Big Q.”

“That’s not the point, Lindsay. I haven’t had to be in the closet for a long time. Working down on Liberty didn't force me to do that again.”

“And you don’t now.”

“Look, whatever... The point is that you need to get the hell out of bed and find out what the hell competition you’re competing in this afternoon! Hopefully, it won’t be something we have to pay a model for.”

“Wel, first things first. We need to go to the art supply store again.”

“What are you talking about this time?! I thought you said that they give you that stuff for free. Besides, I just bought you a kit yesterday!”

“Be that as it may, Michael, you have to understand that as a professional artist, I’m expected to have a lot more stuff than the paltry things you picked up for me yesterday. It would be different if I knew what we needed to prepare for today, but I don’t. So that means you’re going to have to open your wallet just a smidge wider so that I can prepare for every eventuality.” At his look of disbelief and almost-voiced protest, I shush him and wheedle. “Michael… come on. You know this is important. Besides, depending on what the first prelim is, it could mean that Brian will be free so you can talk to him. Isn’t my presence distracting Justin’s attention worth you spending a little cash if it clears the way to Brian for our benefit?”

After a few moments of silence, and the hamster in his head getting back on the wheel after a very long rest, he answers with a smile. “Alright, Lindsay. But keep in mind that you’ll be paying me back after this bullshit is over with. Also bear in mind that we are working with limited funds at the moment, so I have to be careful of what I am spending. Plus I need to speak to a lawyer.”

“A lawyer? What for?”

“Hello! Remember me?! Ben is trying to gyp me out of alimony. I need to speak to someone who will advise me how not to let that happen.”

“Michael, most consultations are free…”

“Not anymore they aren’t, Lindsay. This isn’t Canada, and whereas attorneys used to do free consultations, they’ve gotten wise and started charging. I can’t even use the lawyer that Ben had on retainer since he’s representing that Benedict Arnold soon-to-be ex of mine. I still can’t believe that he’s going to these lengths to keep everything for himself!”

“Well, Michael, just what did you contribute to the marriage? Monetarily, I mean?” I already knew the answer, but I wanted him to say it.

“Whatever I could.”

“Really? Because if I recall, anytime we asked for a loan with the exception of my excursion to New York or the P.I. work you paid for, you always said that you didn’t have any money. Yet, you always had some outstanding bid on some Wonder Wuss, or Bat Butt or some other such nonsense.”

“That’s Wonder Woman and Batman, Lindsay. And fuck you! I gave you money plenty of times!”

“No. Ben gave me money after you swindled it out of him using whatever excuse you could think of. That’s what you told me. So, how can you expect that you would get anything out of Ben?”

“The same way you expect to get something out of Melanie! Or don’t you plan on getting whatever you can from her?”

“Sure I do, but the difference is that I actually contributed to the household at times.”

"You mean when you weren’t using Gus’ child support for your extracurricular activities.” I gasp in shock at his pronouncement while he smirks. “Didn’t think I knew about that, did you?”

I snap my open mouth shut, and frown at him. “How do you?”

“Other than the fact that you talk too much, I heard some of the contestants gossiping about Mel and Leda this morning. Apparently, they were all hot and heavy at Babylon last night.”

“So she was at Babylon last night?”

“Yeah. Ma is keeping the kids for a few days while Mel moves into her new place.”

“New place, huh?” I narrow my eyes. “Any idea where it is? I think I need to pay Melanie a visit.”

“No, I don’t. Ma might know, though I’m not sure she’d tell either of us. Such betrayal!”

“Oh Michael, get over it! Your mother’s only loyalty left is to those turncoats who are apparently paying her bills. You and her have that wishy-washy mentality in common. Anyway, Brian and Justin obviously have her under their thumbs.”

“Well if that’s true, then Emmett and Ted are there, too. After you came in here, I went by Ted’s place last night… or should I say, what used to be his place. I have no idea where he lives now, and Emmett wasn’t at home.”

“There’s something fishy going on around here, and I think we need to do some investigating. But first, let’s get ready for this afternoon. I’m pretty sure that we’ll be able to glean some vital information at the competition site.”

He nods and leaves out of my room, closing the door behind him. So Ted and Em have joined forces with Brian and Justin, huh? Ted, I can understand, but Emmett… well, I used to be able to count on him to keep me up to date on the happenings around here when I’m not out and about. Perhaps it’s time to find out what he really knows about things concerning Brian, Justin, and Melanie. After all, I am Gus’ mother and should know where he lives, right? Someone better provide me with the answers I want, or there will surely be hell to pay!