CHAPTER 33 - METTLE TESTING AND GOING TO THE HOP...PART 1

PITTSBURGH PREPARATORY MILITARY SCHOOL FOR GIRLS - 4 HOURS LATER

DRILL SERGEANT WILLCOX

I have to admire this level of tenacity. She swore, screamed and kicked the seat all the way here and now she is sitting in the middle of the entrance hall that leads to the dormitories with her jaw set and a smug look on her face.

“She’s still refusing to move, then?” Drill Sergeant Alicia McCaw laughs at the filthy look she flings her way. “They always do this and then realise how wrong they were in the morning.”

“That they do.” I nod and start to make up the cot that she brought for me. “Last chance. Will you go willingly to the dormitory, Miss Marcus Peter…”

“Marcus! I already told you this a thousand times. That bitch is no longer my mother!” She rasps and winces at the soreness of her throat. “I would like a glass of water.”

“In the dormitory.” I reply.

“I want to use the bathroom.”

“In the dormitory.” McCaw repeats.

“I am NOT going in there!” She retorts.

“Then when you wet yourself perhaps you can drink that then?” McCaw smirks.

She gasps in horror. “You can’t do that!”

“We aren’t going to do anything. I am merely suggesting a solution to your thirst issue.”

“I’ll take the first sleep since I got her.” I tell her and slide under the blankets.

“I can sing you a lullaby.” Miss Marcus Peterson mocks.

“You can if you wish, but then that would exacerbate the hoarseness of your throat. Meaning, you won’t be able to speak tomorrow, which would be a joy for us, but oh so frustrating for you. Especially, as you [a] like the sound of your own voice and [b] would have to take one of the vilest tasting tinctures known to man to ease the pain. We can’t have you saying you were mistreated.”

“You are keeping me here against my will! That is the highest of the high of mistreatment!”

“Goodnight, Miss Marcus Peterson.” I turn on my side and wait.

“I said Marcus!”

“The paperwork says Marcus Peterson and that is what you will be known as.” McCaw sits down on the chair and gets comfortable. “You get some sleep, I’ll wake you for the morning shift.” I nod and she covers herself with the blanket. Marcus Peterson looks around and then gawks at us. “Problem, Miss Marcus Peterson?”

“It’s going to get cold out here. Where are my blankets?”

“In the dormitory.” We say together and she scowls.

“If I get pneumonia, I shall sue this place into the ground!”

“At least, you won’t have to go too far for an attorney.” McCaw chuckles.

“Fucking bitch!” She grits out, her shout barely above a whisper.

“A fucking bitch with blankets.” She snipes back.

MEL’S OFFICE - MONDAY, LATE MORNING

MEL

I hang up after speaking to Lindsay and giggle, even though I shouldn’t. Jenny ended up sleeping in the entrance hall last night and had to get up at six o’clock this morning for class. She had about an hour’s sleep and was too exhausted to do anything but as she was told at the end of it. We have packed her case and sent it over. They said not to come see her for the first two weeks, as they say they will suddenly turn into little obedient angels before reverting back to devils once the two weeks are up!

“Mel, Kenya Fox-Worthy and Justin Taylor are here.” Louise pokes her head through the door. “Send them straight in?”

“Please and I am not to be disturbed unless it is Lindsay.”

“Okay.” She nods and seconds later opens the door for Nya and Justin. “May I get you any refreshments?”

“May I have a sparkling water please?” Justin is all politeness and then looks at his watch.

Nya sighs. “If you are going to surprise me with Brian, it helps if you don’t keep looking at your watch every two seconds.”

“He’s not coming here.” He blushes. “He’s in a meeting at the minute and um...well…”

“Ah that’s kicked in, has it?” She titters.

“Yeah and I really want to see him before his next pitch.” He smiles winningly at me.

“Go. I’ll tell you what she said.” I laugh as he flies out of the room. “So what’s going on between your dad and Ted?”

“That’s what I like about you Mel, straight to the point.”

“And you don’t stall very well so what’s going on?” I sit back and observe the woman, who I have come to think of as a friend, struggle with herself before she exhales and grimaces.

“Michael has done a few bad things and we want him to pay for them. But in order for him to pay for them, he has to admit them.”

“Can you tell me what they are? And if you are going to make him pay, can you add one for me?”

“Which is?”

“You’re not going to like it. He said that Kemi should’ve…” I can’t bring myself to finish the sentence.

“I know about that one.” She grimaces.

“There’s more?” My eyes widen and I feel a bit nauseous as I know how nasty he can get with his words and sometimes his deeds.

“Yeah, can we leave it there? The less people that know the better.”

“How many people know everything already?” I am now beginning to worry.

“Eight. And no, I am not telling you who they are but Brian and Justin definitely don’t.”

“Does Lindsay?” My heart begins to race.

“No. She doesn’t.” She inspects her fingernails. “But if needs be, could I call on you for counsel?”

“What the fuck are you going to do?!” I exclaim.

“Not me! One of the people involved may need counsel and I would rather it was you than having to spread this any further afield.”

“Nya…” I come round the desk and sit on the side. “...you’re scaring me. Please tell me?”

“Remember that promise that Brian and Justin made to you about being there when the shit goes down?” I nod. “Let me promise you that and it be enough.”

“I will be counsel if you need me and will back off for now. But do you want to know what Lindsay did last night?”

“Does this involve kink?” She asks in obvious relief to move on from that subject.

“No! Well yes, but I’m not telling you that. This involves Jenny.” I beam at her.

“Okay, involves Jenny, she did the toothbrush thing, you’re smiling...actually glowing proudly. So she sent her early, didn’t she?!”

“Yes!” I actually clap my hands happily. “Last night, she drew quite the crowd.”

“Crowd?” She starts to smile.

“She didn’t go gently into the good night to paraphrase Dylan Thomas.”

“Don’t suppose you…”

“But of course!” I laugh and grab my phone. “Okay hit me with it.”

“Me, Kemi, Kendi, Gus, FunGirl 3, Debs…”

KINNETIC - 40 MINUTES LATER

BRIAN’S OFFICE

JUSTIN

“Brian, how is this fucking possible?!”

“Justin, that’s the point. There is no fucking possible at the moment!” He growls back.

“Pull up!” I demand.

“I can’t pull up! My foot is stuck in the chair! And my other leg one is locked in front of yours! Can’t you move your leg back?!”

“Whose fucking idea was this?!”

“Sunbeam! We are blaming Sunbeam for you sudden spike in happiness!”

“You are not…!”

“For goodness sake, would you two stop bitching and let me try to get you untangled!” Ted orders. “Why in God’s name would you try a position, in an office, twenty minutes before a pitch and without making sure the chair was not directly behind you!” He gripes.

“Ow! Fucking ow! My knee doesn't bend that way!” I exclaim.

“Schmidt! That is not to be touched by you!” Brian squawks.

“If that was you Ted, then no, it most definitely is not!” I huff from under Brian’s chest.

“This is fucking ridiculous!” Brian carps. “I think the most important thing to do first is to withdraw and…”

“What?! You’re still inside him?!” Ted demands.

“Of course, I am! He’s my hot and happy…”

“I thought you were preserving his modesty…!”

“Well that too but…”

“Michael is sucking you off after tit fucking Cyn!” Ted snaps and I can actually feel his hard-on rapidly deflate, swiftly followed by mine!

“Brutal but effective, Schmidt.” He shuffles his hips back and slowly we disentangle from each other, but he remains over me. “Now I am protecting his modesty!” He growls.

“Of course!” Ted smirks and scurries out.

He pushes my sweat drenched hair off my forehead and pulls me back against his chest, his hands gentle on my stomach. “You two okay?” His voice is quiet and slightly worried.

“We’re fine. Slightly embarrassed but...Brian, what are you doing?!” I gasp as he suddenly picks me up and carries me to the en suite. I almost lose it as he holds me tightly, but gently, to his body and sets the water to the perfect temperature. We shower in silence and then I feel him start to shake and turn around and start to smile...he’s laughing!

“Remind me to threaten Schmidt with castration and decapitation if he breathes a word of that!”

I just nod.

57TH PRECINCT

NORBERT

It is ingenious in its simplicity. I reread the text from Reed and head to see my captain.

DINER - WEDNESDAY MORNING

DEBS

Brian and Justin have just settled in the back booth, looking, well I don’t know how to describe it but definitely happy. I pull out a box of tea that Abi left. She said that he craved it when he was carrying Kendi. I make it up as per the instructions and carry it over.

“Here…” I begin.

“Oh my God! When did she give you that?!” Justin exclaims and virtually snatches the mug out of my hands.

“Saturday, with instructions. What’s in it?”

“I don’t know, all I know is that it tastes delicious.” He takes a sip and sighs happily. “So, are we...fuck!”

“What’s wrong?!” Brian demands.

“Your best friend is coming in!” He grumbles and Brian almost collapses with relief.

“Can you say something else, other than an alarmist fuck when you want to indicate that something other than Sunbeam is bothering you?!” Justin leans over and kisses him an apology. Brian then takes the mug off him and pours half the tea in his cup, causing Justin to pout. So I get up to make him another one and smile when Brian says. “It is delicious, Spitfire….”

“Hi guys.” Michael smiles, but he looks pissed and jumpy. “Have you guys seen Ted?”

For some reason, Brian and Justin both go red. I shall find out why later. “He’s in Baton Rouge.” I tell him. “Back on Friday. Why do you need him?”

“Oh nothing, nothing that can’t wait until then.” He sits down distractedly and then says nothing. We exchange looks. “Okay, well then I’ll see you later. Brian, are you able to take a call later this evening without interruption? And no, before you ask it’s not about money. I need to get some business advice.”

“Sure, we’ll be happy to talk to you.” Brian replies. “About seven.”

“Yeah, okay.” He mutters and walks out.

I do believe that Ted and I need to have a word!

PITTSBURGH PREPARATORY MILITARY SCHOOL FOR GIRLS - AFTERNOON

CLASSROOM

JENNY

“And as I said to you, I am not doing it.” I look around the room and bask in the looks of admiration. “We don’t have to do anything you tell us to.”

“Options. They are thus, do it now and have a free period or do it later with consequences. Either way, it will be done.” Drill Dick Hawk, as he is known to me, retorts and I shove the paper to the floor. “Later, it is. You may leave.” I smirk and get up. “Is there anyone else who wants to join Miss Marcus Peterson?” Some of my fellow students get up and we head to the door.

“Hang on a minute; this is too easy!” One of them says. “If we don’t do the paper and do it later, is that it?”

“That is for me to know and for you to find out.” He smiles, thinly. “But I will give you a clue...this is your orienteering. Here we assess you and see what your limits are. Then when you start school properly, we will know exactly what you are like and how to correct your behaviour accordingly. Oh by the way Miss Marcus Peterson, your personal belongings have arrived and…”

“I shall sort through them instead, then.” I snipe and open the door.

“They have already been sorted through. Your mothers packed everything that they thought you would need and want. So if you take one step out of the door, I will take great pleasure in smashing your oh so precious tablet to smithereens with this…” He opens the desk drawer and pulls out a mallet and my tablet.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Then take a step and test the mettle of a drill sergeant with over 15 years’ service.” He smirks. I pause and then flick my hair over my shoulders and put my foot outside the door. My eyes widen in horror as he raises the mallet high…

“Nooooooooooooo!” I scream and rush back to his desk to snatch the tablet out of harm’s way, but it’s too late. The sickening thunk and shattering of glass has tears springing to my eyes and all I can do is watch as he repeatedly smashes it.

“There.” He pushes the remains towards me. “You can have it now.” I gather the broken pieces and refuse to allow the tears to fall. “You can either finish off the paper or you can continue on this course of obstinacy and reap another consequence.”

“What else could you possibly do to me?!” I snap as I storm out.

AN HOUR LATER

I am standing against the wall crying. “Either move your hand or I take the picture as is?” Drill Bitch Willcox snaps. “As you wish.” She declares and takes this picture. “I shall send this to your parents this evening. Now are you going to return to class and finish your paper?” I nod. “You will verbalise your answers, Miss Marcus Peterson!”

“Yes.” I snivel. “Yes, I will do it.”

“Good. Now go and don’t worry. It’s just hair, it will grow back. Unless of course, we have to shave it again…”

I look in the mirror and wipe my eyes...no matter how, no matter what, I am getting out of here!

KINNETIC - THURSDAY MORNING

BRIAN’S OFFICE

“So are we set?” I ask Emmy as he goes over the menus again. “Sorry, forgot who I was talking to.” He lowers his eyebrow.

“And we are doing this why again?”

“Jennifer is bringing her new boyfriend to meet the family and this seems a less formal way of doing it. “

“Uh huh...you do realise I have a hotline to your daughters.” He grins.

“And there is a degree of celebration as the mini Witch of the West is gone!” I chuckle.

“Yes and all by the hand of the Good Witch Lindsay!” He shakes his head. “Still can’t believe she followed through.”

“Me neither until I saw the video.” I am idly clicking through screens when I land on something rather spectacular and whistle.

“Ooh let me see!” Emmy scoots round the desk. “Oh my, you have to get one of those. You just have to! Not that one, scroll down a bit…”

“That one.” I sigh.

“Dammit, now I can’t get it!”

“No, you most definitely can’t, Honeycutt!”

“Don’t call me Honeycutt...and aha, this one is mine!”

“Very nice...it’s a shame they only go up to large.” I smirk and he rolls his eyes. “What? Am I not speaking the truth?”

“Just order the damn things and let me pay you later!” He laughs and gathers his things before waving his goodbyes.

MEL AND LINDSAY’S HOUSE - EVENING

MEL

I call out for Lindsay as I enter the house and she pokes her head out of the kitchen. “How was your day?”

“Great. Yours?”

“I won, so that’s good. Want some wine?” I ask as I kick off my shoes and follow her back into the kitchen.

“Already poured you some red.” She calls over her shoulder and goes back to keeping an eye on the pan. “We have an invite to a Hotrods and Hothogs Extravaganza on Saturday.”

“A what?” I sip my wine and savour it and the lack of oppressive air.

“Brian is throwing a cars and bikes parade down Liberty Avenue ending up at Britin. Check out the dress code.” I take the envelope and start to read. Then start to laugh. “I know right. So he’s recommended a place as it’s such short notice, and I have picked my outfit so go and do yours while this cooks. Oh wait! Let me close the page down. I want it to be a surprise!”

I follow her to the office and try to see over her shoulder, but she giggles as she blocks the screen. “Can I at least have an idea of colours?” I protest.

“Something red is a must.” She says and moves to let me sit down and start my order.

“If I can’t see yours, you can’t see mine.” I point out and with a kiss to my cheek, she heads back to the kitchen. I read the invite again and pick up my phone to ask a favour of Hotrod.

RED CAPE COMICS - FRIDAY LUNCHTIME

MICHAEL

I have been trying Reed, Blake and Ted for the last few days and none of them have returned my call, which is frustrating to say the least. But at least, Nya’s dad hasn’t been in contact, so maybe it wasn’t him he sold it to. I still can’t believe that Ted has done this to me, and he calls me his friend. I would never do such a thing as I would never call in the loan in the first place!

Sighing, I look around my store and my collectibles and scowl when I remember the wholly useless catch up I had with Brian and his Baby Daddy the other evening. I was supposed to call them, but ended up bumping into them on the street and bringing them back here…

Start of flashback

RED CAPE COMICS

OFFICE

MICHAEL

“You can sit down you know.” I indicate the two chairs and the sofa but Justin frowns and remains standing. “Problem?”

“Gucci and whatever is on that sofa do not go together.” He sniffs haughtily, then looks around and sneezes.

“Bless you!” Brian and hands him a handkerchief. “So what did you want to talk to us about?”

“It’s about this loan thing that…”

“TSCHOO!”

“Bless you. What about…”

“TSCHOO!”

“And again, is it the dust or are you coming down with a cold?” He puts his hand on his forehead. “You feel quite warm.”

“I’m fine it...TSCHOO! Just the...TSCHOO!”

“Michael, can’t you clean up this place?!” Brian scowls, looking round in what looks like disgust.

“Look, why don’t you two talk and I’ll...TSCHOO! TSCHOO! TSCHOO!”

“Go?” I mutter hopefully but quietly.

“I have to get out of here.” He sniffs dramatically. “I’ll meet you in the di...TSCHOO...ner...this won’t take that long, will it?”

“No. Hang on a sec.” He pulls out his phone and dials a number. “Hey Kiki, Kinney. Justin is coming. Can you do a hot chocolate for him and make sure he goes to the office? Seems, he’s got the sniffles. Thanks.”

“You so love me!” He croons sickeningly.

“Get going before you sneeze that little blonde head of yours off!”

I keep the happiness off my face as he makes his way out of my office, but roll my eyes as Brian watches him go then wait impatiently for him to turn his attention back to me. “So what is it you wanted?”

What was it I wanted? He says it like it’s an imposition.

“This note thing that Earl mentioned, what does it mean?”

“This note...it means that the money that you owed Ted and Blake, for example, would now be payable to the person who buys your loan, AKA the note, from them.”

“Has Ted said anything about his meeting with Earl to you?”

“Why would he?” He asks, putting on his coat. “It’s none of my business. Now if that’s all, I’ve got a poorly Baby Daddy to take care of.”

“Brian! He’s pregnant, not disabled!” I grumble. “He managed perfectly well without you before; he can manage for a few more minutes…”

“Before, he didn’t know who I was and now he does. Whether you like it or not, he is carrying my child and I will be with him every step of the way...and that starts now!” He glares at me for a second or two before he strides out, leaving the door to bang against the cabinet.

I just stand there slack jawed with incredulity at his continued mistreatment…

End of flashback

I stand in the doorway and look up and down the street. “Maybe it will be busier tomorrow.” I sigh. I can’t understand it, for these last few days business has been trailing off.

BRITIN

RoR - EARLY EVENING

KEMI

I spray the drink across the sofa as Aunt Nya shows me the picture that Aunt Mel has sent her. “That is not real! It has got to be fake?! K! G! H! FunGirls! Here now!”

“What’s the trouble, Bubble?” Gretch scats. She has taken to calling me Bubble and Kendi she calls Squeal and says what’s the deal Squeal, because that’s what she does when she has to do anything icky. Lord alone knows the noises she’s going to make when she actually kisses a boy!

“Look at that!” I show them Aunt Nya’s phone.

“Who’s that?” Hunter asks, peering at the screen.

“Junior Wicked Witch of the West...they shaved her head.”

“No freaking way!” Wendy crows. “Oh how she used to flick that damn thing, so annoying!”

“Enough with mocking the afflicted. Have you got your outfits sorted out?” Aunt Nya asks grinning.

“How in hell is she afflicted?” Sophie asks indignantly. “She has two mothers, who love her dearly and with patience, she could have anything she wants!”

“Lack of patience, let’s start there…” Kendi starts.

“Let’s not!” Aunt Nya is firm and we listen. “So we need to sort out food for tomorrow, because under your Auntie Emmy’s supervision, you are going to be cooking. There is to be no teasing Grandmom Jennifer about her new beau. There is…”

“What is it?” Kendi demands. “You only go over the rules when something is going on.”

Slowly she starts to smile. “Wait and see my darlings, wait and see.” Then walks out.

We all look at each other and then start to speak at once! I have to whistle to silence the room. “Let’s look at the facts. She was smiling, she said darlings so we know it’s not bad. It’s something to do with love because she mentioned Grandmom Jen. No, she can’t be getting married...oh maybe Uncle Tobias asked and she said yes?!” We fall into shocked silence.

“Oh fuck!” Kendi gasps.

“What?!” We all demand.

“The hen do has to be in Alabama!”

“But we all have to act surprised!” I point out and try to ignore the sage nodding with goofy grins that wreath their faces!

TOP OF LIBERTY AVENUE - SATURDAY LUNCH TIME

BRIAN

I am going to buy him a car! In fact, he can pick any car he wants right now and I will buy it for him! Emmy has done me so very proud! I don’t who he knows or had to blow to get this done, but get this done he did. I push through the crowds to get to him. “Honeycutt! Honeycutt!” I yell.

“I will allow one but not two!” He yells back, grinning. “So I take it by your exuberance I did good?”

“You did fucking brilliant!” I hug him tightly. “So give me the keys already!”

“Oh no Mr Fonz Zucko, you need to come with me!” He takes my hand not fiercely but tenderly. “You need to come with me and do this right.”

“The man that gets you is very lucky, Honeycutt.”

“Don’t call me...oh...oh I...I...have to get you dressed!”

Twenty minutes later, the cars set off roaring down Liberty Avenue and I swing my leg over his dream bike and rev the engine. The crowds are whooping and hollering and I set off knowing what is waiting for me in the perfect spot.

MICHAEL

What the hell is going on out here?! The streets are filled with people in the fucking way, so I can’t see. I have to push and swear my way through the crowds. There is roaring of engines, but the cars that wind their way down the street are awesome. I spot Baby Daddy, trying to cross the street and decide to make nice and go talk to him, since he’s oh so fucking important to Brian! Just as I get to close to him, a biker pulls up next to him and gives him the once over.

“Hey.” I hear him say.

“Hey yourself.” Baby Daddy replies.

Is he serious with this shit right now? He’s knocked up and flirting with a complete stranger?!

“Where you headed?”

“No place special.”

“I can take you there, if you like?”

I gape and scramble for my phone. This is not seriously fucking happening!

“Nice hog.” He runs his fingers over the handlebars, the saddle and then...oh for fuck sake...over the thigh of the rider!

“Wanna ride it and then I ride you?” The helmeted rider drawls and I feel my jaw plummet as Baby Daddy, like the slut I always knew him to be, gets on the back.

I wait for them to take off but before they do, the rider takes off his helmet. “Put it on or we go nowhere, I mean it!”

“You so love me!” Baby Daddy croons to Brian!

“No, I don’t.” He replies and Baby Daddy looks as shocked as I feel. “I love both of you. Now hold on tight!”

“Wait! Brian! Where are you…” My words are swallowed in a cloud of dust as he roars off, following the parade. As I flap my hand to clear the air, I spot someone else I recognise. It’s Ma, in a car with Jennifer and some guy!

“Ma! Ma!” I shout, but more motorcycles drown me out and all too soon, they are gone and soon so are the crowds. And once again, I am alone.