CHAPTER 23 - THE COTILLION SMACK DOWN

TAYLOR RESIDENCE

MASTER BATHROOM

BRIAN

Oh he feels so exquisite! I thrust back in and he gives a sweet cry of pleasure. We were fine in the car, fine in the lounge but the moment we got upstairs and took our suits out, all thoughts of propriety were gone! We just looked at each other and ran to the bathroom!

“Brian, Brian oh fuck Brian!” He mewls and pushes back.

“Justin, Justin oh Justin!” I thrust really firmly and he screams with ecstasy. “Spitfire, yes!”

“H-Hotrod!” He yells and then clenches so hard that I come again.

LOUNGE

EMMY

I look at Ted and smirk. He just gapes at me. “Emmett Honeycutt, I am so very proud of you...that is the true definition of hideous!”

“I know! I spotted it and thought it would be perfect for Ugly Night at Babylon and it’s such a shame that there was a mix up at the store and they delivered this one instead of that suit he bought. I explained to Jennifer and when she stopped laughing, she said it was more than fine.”

“I think they are finally finished and we can go up now.” Blake comes back from the hallway with a slight blush. “I never had Brian down as a shouter.”

“Have you seen Justin?” I ask. “If I was Brian, I would be shouting too! Right, give me a second…” I head to the hallway and take a big breath. “We’re coming up to get ready!”

“Okay!” Justin shout-giggles.

HYATT REGENCY BALLROOM - TWO HOURS LATER

JENNY

Okay there has been some snickering and pointing, but get over it already! I can’t wait to help Mommy write the email to Kleinfeld! We had to go on ahead and will be meeting Uncle Michael here as we couldn't all fit in the cars.

“Let’s go and get some champagne, shall we? Drink slowly and don’t tell your Mom.” Mommy smiles at me and I nod.

As we take our glasses, there is a ripple of muttering and chattering. “Ladies and gentlemen! The hostess for the evening has arrived! Could those who are being presented, please make their way to the top of the stairs to be escorted down to the ballroom!”

“Is that me, Mommy? Do I get presented before them?!”

“Looks like it. So go on, darling. I will be ready with the camera!”

I follow the stream of girls with my head held high. It’s not my fault that Mommy was an idiot!

“Hey Kendi...wait, what the hell?!” A girl asks. “There’s two of you! Who’s this?!”

“This is Kemi, my sister. Don’t ask how, but just know she is.” Kendi laughs and I move closer so I can leap in and introduce myself. But before I can, something else catches my eye and the eye of the person that spoke.

“Holy mother of fuck! Are they real?!” She squeals.

“Farrah! A little lower!” Someone shouts and Farrah waves them away. I make a mental note to get to know Farrah and perfect that wave.

“Yes, they are real. Dad and Papa got us a set each and one for Gus. By the way, Gus is escorting Blair while Hunter escorts Honour. Papa got one for Hunter, too.”

“Wow. So where is she?” Farrah asks.

“Over there.” Kendi replies with a giggle. “Behind the pillar. As usual.”

“Let me go get her. Seriously, every damn event. Aunt Nya!” She shouts and stalks to the back of the room.

“Your Dad and Papa got all of you diamond earrings?” I ask.

“Yes. Papa gets me a piece of jewellery for every...oh sweet god in heaven. Did you three have a meeting or something?!” She hisses.

“What are you talking about?” I demand.

“Uncle Michael’s, and I am going for a loose description here...suit.”

I turn around and wish I hadn’t!

“Jenny! Hey Jenny! How are you? Have you had a good time thus far?”

I can’t actually speak...because he looks like that!

“Uncle Michael.” I stammer. “What…”

“Isn’t this the coolest suit?!” He exclaims. “It’s a lot better than the one I had to buy! I will be sending that back actually!”

“Ladies and gentlemen! We are preparing for the presenting!” The announcer bellows. “Please can everyone listen carefully for your names to be called? First to be presented will be the hostess’s granddaughters and their guests! So may I have Kendi Taylor, Kemi Kinney, Gretchen Smith, Wendy Anderson, Sophia Lewis, their chaperones Kenya Fox-Worthy and Melanie Marcus and their escorts Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Emmett Honeycutt, Ted Schmidt and Blake Wyzecki!!”

“Wait a second.” I tell him and approach the announcer.

“Yes young Miss, how may I help you?”

“I am the sister of Kemi Tay...Kinney and Kendi Taylor, but it doesn’t seem I’m being presented with them.”

“I see. Let me check the list. Got it, you are on the list so worry not. You will most likely be in the second presentation.”

“Great!” I gloat and look around to make sure everyone hears.

“May I have the escorts for Blair Churchill Smith-Williams and Honour Truman-Wallace, the granddaughters of the secondary hosts, so Gus Kinney and Hunter Taylor please step forward!”

An hour later, we have still not been called forward. Uncle Michael has been on his phone frothing over some toy crap and I am bored out of my mind. As I look over the balcony, I see those who have been called chattering below.

“And finally, the secondary presentations. Sorry, presentation. Jenny Peterson and Miquel Negrotny!”

Secondary? What the fuck is this secondary shit?! I quickly link arms with Uncle Michael, who was going, I suspect to correct the pronunciation of his name, and drag him out. I don't know why I bothered, the only person who notices is Mommy, and she lowers the camera to gape at us.

A ripple of laughter goes through the crowd as we walk through and I hear comments about gauche gold so remove my arm from his and head to Mom, avoiding Mommy’s attempt to catch my arm.

“Mom.” I whimper and she turns around and then I see them...the unmistakable glint of diamond earrings! “Where did you get them?” I gasp.

“Yes, Mel…” Mommy whispers harshly. “Where did you get them? They must have cost a very pretty penny! Jenny, you just walked by me then. Didn’t you see me?”

“No Mommy, I didn’t.” Is what I say while I want to say...you’re a little difficult to miss in that outfit...is firmly kept to myself. “So Mom, where’d you buy the stones?”

“I didn’t. Uncle Brian gave them to me. Nya got exactly the same from Justin. Oh excuse me, the dance is about to start.”

“Then shouldn’t I come with you? I have been presented, after all.”

“No, sweetie. You were a secondary presentee, which is just a bit higher than a guest...”

“What do you mean Brian gave them to you?!” Mommy interrupts at the same time Uncle Michael comes over. He already has food down his front... just when I thought his ensemble couldn’t look any worse!

“Hey Jenny, now what’s happening?”

“There’s a dance now, but I am not part of that.”

“Why not?” He demands and then his jaw drops. “Are those real diamonds?”

“Yes they are and keep your voice down.” Mommy orders, finally getting one fucking thing right today! “Brian gave them to her apparently.”

“There is no apparently about it. I did give them to her. Is that a problem for you, Lindsay? And if so, why?” Uncle Brian’s voice doesn't sound friendly.

“Not a problem Brian, just a surprise. It seems such an extravagant gift for...why does she have them again?”

“Because I wanted to give them to her. Now excuse me, I have a daughter to dance with.”

I look across the ballroom for the first time, actually taking in their dresses and feel sickened and so jealous. “Look at them... just look at them, showing off like that!” I mutter, crossly. “I thought they were supposed to be in blue. Kendi’s dress is pure black with some dumbass appliqueing.”

I then look round the room and see Kemi being led by Uncle Brian and I feel like I have been given a glass of acid to drink!

“I thought Kemi had never been to a cotillion before.” I look at Mommy for confirmation and she nods.

“She hasn’t. Why?” Mom asks, deliberately flicking her hair back to show off her earrings, in my opinion!

“Well she seems to know all the dance moves, well as much as she can move in that huge dress.” I scoff.

“Yours is bigger and the wrong colour.” Mom points out unnecessarily. “As for Kemi, she and the FunGirl 3 had dance lessons before they came to this. It was the right thing to…”

“Why wasn’t I given lessons?” I demand as quietly as I can because I am so fucking furious but also relieved I wasn’t as it would’ve meant dancing with golden boy!

“Do you want to go home now?” Mom looks at me coldly and I shake my head. “Good. Now, be quiet.”

For the next, what seems like an hour, they twirl and dip round the floor. Mommy tries to cheer me up, but it’s not working. I am jolted back in the room by the sound of applause. “Are they done now?” I bite out.

“Yes. The formal part of the evening is finished. Everyone can circulate as they wish. Now excuse me, I need a very large glass of wine!” Mom declares and waves at Aunt Nya, who heads off in the same direction as her.

“Are you enjoying yourself so far, Jenny?” Uncle Michael asks and I try not to vomit as I see bits of food in his teeth!

“Not really. But I do need to speak to Gus.” I smile at him and decide to make the best of a miserable situation.

“...lived in Canada for a bit, but back here permanently.” He is saying to someone.

“Gus, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” I demand, pushing myself between him and a girl.

“Wow, rude much!” She snipes.

I look her up and down and snicker. “I would rather be rude than ugly. And you, my dear are ugly.”

“And you my dear are wearing the wrong colours. But I suppose an over indulged little madam like you wouldn’t care about that as long as you get what you want when you want...Jenny.”

“Who the hell are you and why do you know my name?” I snap.

“My name is, like you, irrelevant. As for your name, you were the secondary presentee and the only one they announced, remember? Gus, I will speak to you later, okay?”

She swans off, leaving me astonished in her wake. I whirl around to Gus. “How could you let her speak to me like that?! You are supposed to be my brother and protector and…”

KEMI

Oh what the fresh hell is she doing now?! Judging by that expression, she is ripping Gus a new one as only she can! I have had enough of this. “Gus needs rescuing. Be right back.”

“You stay here.” Gretch tells me firmly. “I’ll handle that.”

GRETCH

I get to Gus just as she finishes calling him an asshat and traitorous brother. “That’s rich coming from you!” I whisper.

“You know nothing about our relationship, so keep your snout out of my business! They shouldn't put a chubby pig in a dress and let it parade around the dance floor.” She spits at me but before I can say anything there is a hard clearing of a throat.

“What is going on here?” Aunt Nya is not looking happy. “Gus, you okay?”

“I…” He trails off and looks like he wants to cry.

“Hunter, take him to get a beer now.” She orders and he does so, immediately. Jenny takes a deep breath before looking at Aunt Nya. “One. Just one more word out of your spiteful little mouth and I shall turn you over my knee to spank you so hard you won’t sit down for a week. Do you understand me?” Now I’ve seen annoyed Aunt Nya but not a furious one; I never want to be the person that causes that expression to appear on her face! “I asked a question now answer it, do you understand me?”

“Yes, Aunt Nya.” She mutters, her face flushed.

“Good. I am going to leave you ladies to this. Don’t make me have to come over here again!”

We stand in silence for a few minutes before I smile sweetly. “As termagants go, you are right up there, Jenny. In fact, you are the queen. By the way, I may be chubby but it beats being an unlovable, unlikable guttersnipe like you. Now, I’m going to go back and have a good time with my friends. You should go and hang out with the only person who can stand you, your Mommy!”

I don’t wait for her to say anything and head back to the others. I am pleased that a happier looking Gus is there, too. “How you doing, dude?”

“Fine. Now I’m fine. Oh shit!”

“What?! What’s wrong?” I stand in front of him, praying it’s not Jenny.

“Blair’s coming over!”

“And...oh my god...okay, breathe! Do a teeth check. You’re clear, now go get her tiger or more accurately, let her get you!” I laugh and signal everyone to give them some privacy.

As we head outside by the pool, we try not to watch their clumsy but very sweet flirting. “Are you sure he’s part Kinney?” Uncle Justin teases Uncle Brian.

“Give it time, Spitfire. He’s just playing fool to catch wise.”

“What does that mean?” Wendy asks him.

“Being a dope to get what he wants. But in Gus’s case, it’s not in a nasty way. He’s part Kinney, but he’s part shy too!”

“Now there’s an oxymoron!” Uncle Justin laughs and when Uncle Brian mock punches him on the chin he grabs his fist and kisses it gently. They just stare at each other and with a jerk of his head, they leave us...quickly!

“Seriously, they are so hot for each other!” I laugh and Wendy nods and smiles but then she’s grinning.

“We have handholding and approaching! Handholding and approaching!”

“Let’s not make a big deal out…”

“There you guys are! I have been looking all over for you!” Jenny’s suddenly friendly tone kills the atmosphere stone dead.

“We didn’t want to be found.” Sophia mutters and Wendy chuckles but then snorts as Gus veers off in another direction with Blair.

“Hi guys, are you having a good time?” Uncle Michael arrives with Aunt Lindsay in tow.

“I feel like I am in Macbeth with all the witches now present!” Sophia grumbles and I am having a hard time keeping a straight face.

“Yeah, it’s great. What about you? Wherever did you get that suit from?” I ask.

“The shop made a mistake and sent the wrong one, but I like this and am going to keep it. They can refund the other one, which is much too formal for me.”

Nobody says a word for a minute. “Uh Uncle Michael, you’re not serious about that? The suit is hideous and you look like you’re wrapped in foil!” Jenny says in disbelief.

“Yes, I’m serious and you said you liked it.” He looks crestfallen.

“Well obviously I lied!” She snaps and then pinches her nose breathing heavily.

“Jenny darling, are you okay?” Aunt Lindsay asks.

“Am I okay? Am I okay?!” She shouts. “Of course, I’m not fucking okay! You fuck up the dress order! I am presented last with Liberace’s Undertaker! I don’t have diamond earrings like everyone else! I have been threatened by that big haired bitch with a spanking for speaking the truth about my asshat, traitorous brother! But at least, I am the queen of the termagants so that’s fucking something!”

Again nobody says a word until…

“I wouldn’t be too proud of that if I were you.” Blair calls out.

“You again! What would you know about being a termagant?”

“Enough not to want to be one. Whoever bestowed that title upon you, very politely and cleverly I might add, called you a bitch. And you have shown why that is such an appropriate moniker for you. Now if only we had a crown to make the coronation complete...”

Jenny’s mouth drops open and then she turns to look at me. I simply shrug my shoulder.

“You called me a bitch?! You of all people called me a…”

“Jenny, you need to stop now!” Aunt Lindsay pulls her close to her. “You are making a scene!”

“Oooh and we couldn’t have that, could we?!” She snipes.

“No, we can’t. Now pull yourself together and be quiet!”

“Liberace’s Undertaker?” Uncle Michael rejoins the party. “That was very rude of you considering you look like an overdressed pumpkin!”

“Overdressed pumpkin?! Oh will you ever not fuck off?!” She jabs him in the chest...just a bit too hard as he’s standing by the edge of the pool and steps back.

ONE HOUR LATER

KEMI

That was epic! As Uncle Ratfink stepped back, he realised he’s on air and grabbed Jenny’s arm to steady himself and she in turn grabbed Aunt Lindsay and that’s how all three of them ended up in the pool. Luckily for them, it was mostly just us on the pool terrace. We had a time trying to haul her out because of the weight of her dress! And they still had to squelch through the ballroom to get back upstairs so everyone saw them, even though they tried to sneak around the sides. Hubble bubble triple toil and they are in so much trouble! Must remember to thank to Gretch and Sophia for the riff on Macbeth!

Right now, all three of them are on their way home. Once again, Aunt Mel refused to go with them, citing her chaperoning duties for me, well that and she said she was too angry to be near them, she even said she’s staying at Britin for their own safety!

“Hey, mind if I join you?” I look up and frown. “Joshua McAlister. We met at your dads’ 4th July BBQ.”

“No, we didn’t. I would’ve remembered a hottie like you!” I blurt out and then blush from head to toe. “Well that’s not awkward.”

“It’s not. In fact, it’s huge boost to my ego considering this massive pimple I have gleaming in the middle of my forehead!”

“That is not a pimple, that’s hardly a freckle! Now if you want to compare teenage battle scars...let me show you something!” I whip out my phone and show him my turnpike black eye.

“Okay, you win that one. You’re a skater. Cool! Maybe we could compare boards?”

“Maybe.” I smile at him and needless to say, I enjoyed my first cotillion ever so much!