CHAPTER 21 - PRESUMPTIVE WANTS, BITCHY TRUTHS AND DESPERATE NEEDS

BABYLON - AN HOUR LATER, SAME EVENING

MICHAEL

This is intolerable! Even though we’ve moved onto here, I still haven’t had an opportunity to speak one-on-one in a let’s get sweaty way with Eric! Doesn’t she realise what a fool she is making out of herself fawning over him like that!

“Looks like they are getting on well, my Captain.” Heathan comes up to me smiling, but that falls off his face when I glare at him. “This is about the room, isn’t it?”

“What do you think?!” I spit furiously.

“But I was placed between a rock and a hard place! It’s only 2 weeks and besides, this gives us an advantage!” He tells me excitedly.

“An advantage?!” I scoff and lean against the bar. “How pray tell do we have an advantage?!”

“They will be on edge, just waiting for us to do something and we won’t…”

“And why wouldn’t that be?”

“This way they fuck it up for themselves, my Captain. Think about it... He had to be sent home to get a widdle nap earlier. So being out this late and fretting...don’t you see my Captain? He will make mistakes and fail to impress!”

I think carefully about what he’s just said. “Hmm, I knew you would work out my subtle plan eventually, but you didn’t have to gauge me out the room though. Now to apologise for your egreggous error you can buy me another beer. I won’t be long.”

I had barely got ten steps when my path to the bathroom is blocked by Ben. I sigh. “You have something to say that I would actually give a fuck about?”

“Two things actually: one, it’s pronounced egregious you numbskull. And secondly, thanks for giving that heads up. We can relax now knowing you’re going to be doing fuck all to ruin Justin’s night. Though it’s a shame, as I would’ve liked to have kicked your ass...again.” With a final smirk, he disappears into the crowd.

“Asshole!” I mutter to myself. “This is Heathan’s fault again; he should’ve checked behind me!”

HEATHAN

I don’t get that. How the fuck is that my fault?! As I look across the bar trying to get the attention of any of the barman, I spot Stanley talking to Royston. He looks different, but not sure why. When Royston turns and waves at me, I wave back and Stanley beckons me over. I pause for a minute and check behind me. He’s not back yet, so I quickly make my way over to them.

“Hi guys! How have you been Stanley?” I smile at him.

“Fine, Heath, fine. Where’s…”

“Bathroom.” I check over my shoulder again. Still no sign.

“Want another one of those Heath?” Royston asks, pointing at the bottle in my hand and I nod.

“So when does he become your roomie?” Stanley teases me and I roll my eyes. “Soon you’ll be best bed buddies too, as he said it’s just a matter of time, I’ve seen the admiring looks he’s been giving me...some men have it I guess.”

“What?” I croak, my throat clogged with embarrassment. “That’s not why I admire him! What I admired him for...the arrogant asshole…” I growl. “...was his leadership skills, but having seen them in the field of…”

“Bafflement!” Stanley suddenly says. “Another word for confusion beginning with ‘b’ is bafflement. Look, I better go. Maybe I’ll see you later.” He disappears into the crowd and I am confused.

“What were you doing talking to him?” Michael’s voice startles me.

“He’s still my friend.” I reply, beginning to feel just a bit pissed now.

“But he has abandoned his post for…”

“Here you go. Oh hi Captain.” Royston comes back and I take my drink.

“And where is mine? You know the one you were getting because of the mistake…”

“Here, have at it! I’ll go and get another one!” I snap and push it into his hand then stalk off.

STANLEY

An angry Heathan is a hot Heathan! It looked like he was going to tip the beer over his head for one second. I watch him stalk to the bar and then watch Michael glower and then shrug as he sips his beer. He is looking across the club at something and I try to see what it is and holy shitballs...as I live and fucking breathe! I can’t believe who I am seeing! I start to make my way over.

MICHAEL

Finally! It looks like Eric is on his own! I push my way through the crowd with a big smile on my face, but when I get there he’s no longer alone. In fact, he has his arms wrapped around Stanley!

“Dude! When the fuck did you hit the Burgh?!” Stanley is saying to him.

“Two years ago. I’m sorry I never called you back, but you know with my Mom getting sick and I had to move back to look after her until…”

“Dude stop, I understand!”

“It’s a relief really. Now onto much pleasanter sub...oh hi Michael!” Eric smiles at me and again, my stomach flips.” Stanley this is Michael, Michael this is one of my best dudes, Stanley.”

His best dudes...fuck! How best is best?

“We know each other.” Stanley replies. “How have you been?”

“Fine and yourself.”

“Great, just great.” He suddenly smiles a smile I have never seen before. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

What the fresh fucking hell is this now?

“Not much, why?”

“Want to catch up properly; I mean sit down and catch up properly? And if I bring the ingredients, can you make the pulled lamb with plum and chilli sauce?”

“You remember that?!” He looks incredulous.

“Of course! It’s my food porn!”

Food porn? Since when does he fucking say food porn?!

“Okay but…” Eric begins.

“Which one? So I can bring the right pan.” Stanley sighs.

“Yes! Aubergine bake.”  He fist pumps and I almost drool over his forearms again. “Ah wait, maybe not tomorrow night, I’ll have just moved in with my new roomie…”

“Oh…”

“Hi guys! We were looking all over for…” He trails off seeing me and Stanley at the same spot. “Is everything…”

“Royston! Grab the…” Heathan is yelling as the bottle starts to slip but Stanley gets there first. “Thanks man! Oh hey Eric and Stanley…”

“You two know each other?” Eric looks around at us.

“Yeah, we were in a group together, but I left. We’re still friends though.” Stanley says.

“What a coincidence! He’s my roomie! Heathan, can we make it dinner for three tomorrow night. I’ve known Stan for years and he makes the most awesome aubergine bake. I mean you would sell your soul for it. I’m going to make a pulled lamb dish and…”

“Okay, stop with the puppy eyes!” Heathan laughs. “I’ll get beer.”

“BEER!” Eric and Stanley shout at the same time and then burst out laughing.  

“You have his number?” Eric asks and Stanley nods. “Let him know what to buy...beer indeed!” He rubs his eyes and then stretches to show off that taut and tanned stomach. “I am bushed! I am heading to…”

“Wherever it is you are staying, you no longer are. I have a spare room, come on let’s go! I’ve got the rest of the week off. I can help you move.”

He drops his head on Stanley’s shoulder before kissing him on his cheek. “See, this is why you are one of my best dudes. Let me go say bye to a couple of people and I’ll meet you back here.”

“Sure.”

I wait for him to get out of earshot before turning to Stanley with a smile. “So Stan…”

“Lee.” He interrupts. “You’ve always called me Stanley. Why should that change now that I am not in the group?”

“You are in the group!” I exclaim and then lean closer to him. “We’re not doing anything. Blonde Ass is so pathetic that he’s going to fuck this up all by himself. So what time should I get there?”

“Get where?” He frowns.

“Tomorrow, for dinner.”

“You would have to ask Heathan. It’s his place after all.” He looks behind me and smiles. “I know that look, let’s go. If you want that we’ll need to stop by a food mart.”

“Want what?” I almost scream in frustration as everyone seems to talk in riddles!

“A WHOC.”

“A wok? Why the hell do you need a frying pan now?”

Eric stares at me for a few seconds before laughing. “Are you sure you’re gay? Every gay man knows that a WHOC stands for white hot chocolate. And we don’t need to go anywhere near a food mart. I always carry my care pack but just can’t get it as good as you do. Please can we go?!”

“Sure. Heathan, I’ll call you tomorrow!” Stanley gives him a hug and shoves Eric ahead and when I turn to speak to Heathan he has disappeared into the crowd but I see the back of Royston and follow. I am determined that it is going to be dinner for 4 tomorrow!

When I finally locate them, my jaw drops. First, they are at a booth talking to Odious and Twat and secondly, Brian and Bastard Ben are there. I sit next to Brian, who slowly turns and looks at me. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?” I frown.

“Sitting next to me as if you are not trying to fuck with Justin’s life…”

“What does that have to do with our friendship?”

“What friendship? You try and…”

“Kocky, let’s dance!” Bastard Ben pulls him to the dance floor.

I roll my eyes at his obvious jealousy of me and wave at Heathan and Royston to come and sit next to me, but they continue to talk to the bitches. I feel someone sit next to me and it’s Brandon of the curly girlie hair!

“Aren’t you worried?” I sneer and nod my head at Brian and Ben closely wrapped round each other.

“Why would I be worried?” He sips his beer.

“Well he’s single now, after that showmance with fat ass. Perhaps he’d like a repeat...again. After all, he can get any man wants.”

“Showmance? What are you babbling about? And his name is Justin.”

“His name is whatever I decide to call him! And what I am talking about is…”

“I will not listen to you talking shit about my friends and Justin is my friend!” He snaps and people start to go quiet. “But I have to say thank you…”

“For showing you the truth about Brian and Ben…”

“No, for finally freeing me of the vestiges of my past…” He smiles at me. “Ben! Go and get your coat, we’re going in ten minutes!” Ben salutes him and gives Brian a kiss on the lips before heading to the cloakroom. “How does it feel?” I frown. “To use your stupidity and hatred to help someone else again?”

“What are you…”

“You should bottle that. Brian, you going home?”

“Nah, going to the Nook instead.” He grins and virtually runs out and is swiftly followed by Brandon.

Finally, one of my friends decides to join me. “Why is Heathan still talking to them?” I hiss at Royston as he settles back in the booth.

“Tabs seems nice, my Captain.”

“Not here!” I order tersely and he frowns. “What’s that look for?”

“But you said we should always call you that no matter where. Always.”

“This is Babylon. It would not look cool if people heard you saying that!” I explain exasperated.

“Then we either do it all the time or not at all.” Royston retorts in the same tone.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing, just tired I guess. I’m heading off. See ya!”

“I’ll see you next weekend then.”

“Next weekend?” He sits back down.

“We are meeting to arrange for the you-know-what that we aren’t doing tomorrow.”

“Ah, I didn’t know that and have made other plans you see.”

“Then cancel them. This is important!” I order.

“It’s my mother’s 70th birthday dinner and…”

“This is about my Mother’s legacy! You remember her, don’t you? The Mother of Liberty Avenue!” I whisper hoarsely.

“Who will not take precedence over mine! Goodnight Captain!”

I glare at his retreating back as he walks off. “I can’t believe…” I begin to mutter to myself.

“What’s wrong with Royston? He looked really pissed off.” Heathan’s voice startles me.

“He has forgotten the aim of the mission.”

“Mission? I thought we weren’t doing anything?”

“We’re not, but we need to strategize. And now he won’t make it next weekend because of his mother’s birthday dinner…”

“But we knew that. That’s why you booked the flights to go and see your mother.”

Oh holy fuck I had forgotten that and the tickets are non-refundable!

“Again, you pass the test! Come on, let’s go.”

“Go? Go where?”

“Back to yours, of course. We can plan the dinner for tomorrow night. I, of course, will be the strategic commander for the move.”

He stares at me for a long minute before clearing his throat. “There will be enough help so thanks, but no thanks.”

“But...I will be there in a couple of weeks’ time.”

“Then you can be commander for your move then. This is Eric’s move and I don’t seem to recall him inviting you along.”

I am slack-jawed as he walks away without another word!

“It’s just not your night, is it?” Tabitha snarks as she reaches for her coat. “Not your night at all!”

THE LOFT

BEN

He didn’t say a word in the cab but now he has not stopped talking!

“...and that was it! That fucking passive aggressive me-me-me tone! I was so fucking pissed off and when I...I finally stood up to him. Not Richard but Michael because right at that second he was Richard, if you see what I mean?”

“I think so. By cussing him out, you were done?”

“Yeah. He was trying to say that you and Brian were on for another round and he and Justin were over...no I get it...he’s your Kocky. I get it and I am not worried.”

“As a matter of interest, why aren’t you worried?”

“Because you…” He comes to stand in front of me by the island and puts his hands on either side. “...are an honourable man. And I get that you love him and always will.” He sighs. “You are kind and patient and everything that is good. It will take time and that’s all I am asking for, for your patience.”

“You have it.”

“Good.” He grins and looks across at Moon and Star in the basket before looking back at me.

“Let me leave him a note, so he doesn’t think someone has kidnapped his dog!”

“Why not just send him a text?” He frowns.

“Because he’s gone to the Nook. He won’t look at his phone until he gets here.” I reply with a smile.

“Oh! He said that, where is it? Is it a hip-hop-happening bar?”

“No, it’s Justin’s place.” I laugh.

“But that’s the Old Church House, isn’t…”

“Yes but there’s a Nook inside, which is just for them. Molly doesn’t even know about it!”

“How is that possible?” He helps me into my coat and my heart flips.

“They go to his bedroom and then climb out the window and go across via the walkway.”

“Walkway?”

“Let’s get them home.” I pick up the basket and wait for them to settle. “And then, I will explain the workings of the mind of Brian Kinney!”

LINDSAY AND NORMAN’S HOUSE - THURSDAY EARLY AFTERNOON

KITCHEN

NORMAN

Lindsay is glowering at Effy and I. “How could you?!” She spits out.

“How could we? How could you?!” Is my riposte.

“Mom come on…” Gus tries to calm an already volatile situation. “...what did you expect?”

“What did I expect? What did I expect?!” She shrieks. “I expected to be treated with respect, especially by my husband and daughter. I expected to have their trust and…”

“Trust?” Effy scoff. “Mom you have been stealing from the needy!”

“I have not been stealing!” She snarls. “The clothes were…”

“Not yours to swap!” I cut off yet another justification. “Now let’s just get this done! You can spit and snarl like a wet cat as much as you like, Lindsay, but at the end of the day, the clothes are still going back. You were lucky that Annalise said you could keep the dress or you would be wearing that boiler suit for a very long time!”

“You had no fucking right to chain the wardrobe!” She retorts.

“You had no fucking right to take the clothes!” Effy exclaims.

“You will not speak to me like that, young lady!”

“Thou shalt not steal! Isn’t that one of the edicts that your Christian Lesbians live by?” Effy’s voice is like ice. “What do you think would happen if they found out what you have done...and with their donations too, Madam Co-Chairwoman?”

Lindsay’s face darkens and she slowly stands up. “Effy…” She hisses. “I am your mother, not that anyone could tell. How could they? You are too much like your corpulently girthed father, but also you are an unkempt, unfashionable, chubby geek. I will not be spoken to like this by you in my own home. I am sick and tired of your sanctimonious attitude! Change it or get out! I’m sure they can put you up at YEP!”

“Not that anybody can tell? Not that anybody can fucking tell?!” Gus shouts. “Effy go upstairs and pack a bag now!” With tears shimmering in her eyes, she runs upstairs. “I’m taking her to Molly. She’s at the Church House. You can deal with that!” I just nod and he rushes out of the room.

I get up and throw the key to the padlock on the table. “Keep them. Maybe they will keep you warm at night, Madam Asinine. And speaking of warmth, my corpulent girth will not be spending the night with you anytime soon. We have a spare room so use it, Lindth!” She just has a dazed expression on her face. “Gus! Effy! I’ll give you a lift!” I call out to them as I head up the stairs.

LINDSAY

I blink rapidly, and start to calm down because I was so unbelievably angry. But now that I am alone in the kitchen, my first thought is what the hell just happened?!

OLD CHURCH HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER

MOLLY

She cried all the way here and has not stopped since. Nigel is licking the tears off her face and I want to go to have a short sharp chat with her mother.

“D-do you th-think she m-means it?” She sobs.

“No, darling. People say things when they are angry that they don’t mean.” I hug her tightly.

“B-but she had no right to be angry!” She sniffs, tears finally stopping. “Wh-what she did was wrong.”

“What did she do?” I look at Gus, but he shakes his head. “Can you get that for me please, Gus?” I ask as the doorbell goes.

“Hey and hey...oh she called you?” I hear him say to our surprise guest.

“Where is my little angel of goodness?!” Leda calls as she leads in Blue. “We have extra thick and fluffy cuddles to give!”

“Mi-Miss Leda! Blue!” Effy wails and starts crying again.

I grab my keys and my purse and nod at Gus and he grabs his jacket. “Leda, we won’t be long.”

“Take all the time you need!” She shouts back. “Effy is going to be fine with us!”

LEDA

She’s finally napping. Poor thing, to have her for a mother!

Nigel and Blue are curled up on the sofa and I am about to call for a take out when the doorbell is being leant on.

“Please don’t be her, please don’t be her!” I pray and head to open it.

“Where is my princess?!” Brian demands loudly.

“In here!” She calls out and Brian brings everyone in and I mean everyone!

“What the…” I begin and then spot a slightly guilty looking Annalise at the back. “You?!”

“Yeah. Gus and Molly told...no I am not telling you before you ask...so I figured she could do with some extra loving.”

“That bad?” I whisper and she nods grim-faced.

Soon Effy is all smiles and curled round her Uncle Ben.

“Effy, tell them! Tell them what you said about your name!” Gus exclaims. “Dad, seriously you will be so proud!”

“What I said about my...oh that! Um, no.” She cringes slightly and buries her face in Ben’s chest.

“Come on Princess, tell us. You know you want to…” Brian cajoles.

“It’s a bit embarrassing…” She mutters going crimson. “It just came to me and…”

“Came to me, something what you said about your name would never had happen!” Gus snorts.

“Oh now you have to tell!” Brandon laughs.

“I said that I would never answer to Edna-Fanny again because...she’s the only one that calls me that and itsoundslikeadowagersvagina.” She rushes out and looks down.

“Once more with spaces.” Brandon chuckles. “Though I kinda got the gist.”

“It sounds like a dowager’s vagina.” She enunciates and the room goes silent. For a second.

“Dowager’s vagina?” Emmy repeats very slowly.

“Yes sweetheart?” Ted looks down at Amy and then goes pale.

“What?” I ask, but Ted is looking at Blake and shaking his head. “Oh crap she wants to know what it is, doesn’t she?”

“Yep.”

“Well, what it is…” Brian begins to sign.

“No!” Ted, Emmy, Blake and Ben shout and Amy laughs before signing something.

“You are right, sweetheart.” Ben signs back. “Much, much, much too young. And I know that Uncle Brian would not have told you. He was just messing with them.”

I am about to berate the Stud when his phone rings and the smile drops off his face. “I’ll be right there! Don’t let him leave, Vic!”

“Brian, shall I...?” Molly begins, but he shakes his head. “Please, at least, take my car.” She orders throwing the keys at him and within seconds, he’s gone.

“What’s happened?” Blake asks.

“Justin is freaking out.” She sighs and then smiles. “Needs his boyfriend.”

LFD - AN HOUR BEFORE THE FOOD AND WINE DINNER

VIC

I look at my watch again. What is taking him so long?! I am about to call him again when he comes flying through the door. “Where...?!”

“Out back!” Kiki declares and he rushes past me.

BRIAN

He is pacing and talking to himself and I don’t think it is possible for a dog to look as concerned as Hero is. When he sees me, he wags his tail in relief before heading inside.

“Justin.” He doesn’t appear to hear me. “Hey Chef Bubble Butt, stop pacing!”

“Brian!” He gasps and flings himself into my just about open arms. “I’m so nervous and scared and…”

“Stop!” I order firmly and then look around. “What are these?” I ask, looking at the massive barrels.

“Smokers.” He replies from inside my coat. “We’re going to smoke fish and chicken and wings for the turkey and oh god, I have to....ouch! What did you pull my hair for?!” He glares at me.

“It got your attention!” I smile and start to walk him back behind the smokers. “You don’t have to do anything with the smokers. You have to concentrate on the dishes you have prepared and Vic says they are perfect. So breathe for fuck sake!”

“Why are we back here? I need to get...what are you doing?” He writhes against me.

“It’s an old as time a modh scith; a distraction technique if you will. But you need to answer your own question. What am I doing?”

“Brain...I mean Brian stop, I have to oh...no don’t.”

“Hmm your mouth is saying no, but your hips are saying yes. But back to my question, what am I doing?”

“You can’t be serious?” He babble breathes.

“My question still needs an answer.” I whisper against his lips before kissing him and then pushing him against the wall. As I kiss him, I slowly inch his jeans down. Judging by the twitching, there is nothing but air between them and him. As I wrap my warm hand around his throbbing cock, I am glad to be proven right. He squeaks into my mouth and starts to pull on my hair, but I ignore it. As I keep pushing his jeans down, he reaches for my zipper. I growl and tear my mouth from his. “No time, but you need this! Brace yourself!” I drop to my knees and before he can register anything, I take him down to the root, like he did to me in the Nook, but I was slightly more dignified in my squawk of appreciation. Well I hope I was!

“Oh yes, please yes!” He yelps and I pull my coat over my head to at least keep him a bit warmer. As I suck, lick and flick, I can hear his nails scrabbling on the outside of my coat and his muffled squeals of pleasure. Soon he starts to jerk his hips and grab handfuls of my coat, hauling it up higher and making my back cold. But I don’t care, he needs this. “I ooh, god! You...you need to...yes therenowpleasenowpleasenow!” He garbles at the top of his lungs before he arches, stiffens and then finally unloads. “Oooh fuck!” He gasps and I put my hand on his stomach to pin him to the wall and keep him upright. I can hear him sucking in lungfuls of air and giggling...okay, not the response I was hoping for!

I stand up and pull him against me, trying to think of a way to ask why he is giggling. “I also giggle when I come as hard as that.” He is bright red in the face. “I’ve only come that hard once before.”

“And that was?” I start to get him redressed.

“When I was dreaming about you.”

“Good to know. Now come on, first you need to shower. Alone. Then you have to wow them. Want me to leave?” He shakes his head against my chest. “Then I won’t. Now seriously, shower!”