CHAPTER 3 - HER ASPIRATIONAL LIFE…AND HERE’S EFFY AND AMY

NORM AND LINDSAY’S HOUSE - MONDAY EARLY EVENING

LINDSAY

I look at Edna-Fanny in dismay. Once more she’s wearing jeans, a tee shirt and scuffed trainers. “Edna, can’t you wear something else? We’re going to an early dinner with Brian, after all. He will most likely take us to Chelsea Grille, I have always wanted to go, and that’s hardly appropriate…”

“We’re going to Burgatory, mom!” Gus shouts. “Ted and Blake are coming with and bringing Amy, remember?!”

Norm smirks. “Tho what thee’s wearing is perfect Lindth. But you might want to conthider changing.”

“Norm is right. Burgatory and silk don’t mix well.” Gus says as he comes in. “Dad’s here, ready Effy?”

“Gus, I do wish you wouldn’t call her Effy. Her name is…”

“I know what her name is mom, which is why I call her Effy.”

“Ready, Gus.” She replies and stands at the bottom of the stairs.

I glare at Norm until he stops chuckling and Gus goes to open the door.

“Uncle Brian!” She cries out, launching herself into his arms.

“Hey beautiful!” He kisses her cheek and carries her into the lounge. Even though she’s 12, she is small for her age and that combined with her social awkwardness, makes her even shyer. Luckily, she and Gus go to school near each other so he can protect her from, no doubt, her many brickbats. “How are you?”

“Fine, thank you. Who’s that? Is he your boyfriend? You’ve never brought anybody round before.” She peers at a man I vaguely recognise.

“This is my best friend, Ben Bruckner. Ben, this is Effy and you remember…”

“Ben!” I gasp. “I haven’t seen you in years. What are you doing here?!”

“Lindsay. I moved back to teach at CG.” He smiles. “Staying with Kocky until I start. Placement comes with accommodation.”

“Kocky?” Edna frowns. “Why do you call him that?” She asks, still in Brian’s arms.

“Want to get that, Bucky?” Brian smirks.

“No, thank you, Brian.” Ben shakes his head.

Kocky? Bucky? What is that about?

“Oh, where are my manners?! This is my husband, Norman and this is Gus. Gus this is…”

“I know Uncle Ben, mom. We’ve spoken loads of times.”

“You have? When?” I look at the three of them, confused.

“On the phone and I met him when we visited him a few years back.”

“Nice to meet you, Norman.” Ben extends his hand.

“Pleath call me, Norm.” He smiles and inwardly I sigh at his distinctive lisp, which I swear he over emphasises sometimes, just to be annoying. He doesn’t normally lisp that much!

“Before we go, has Gus told you about this job he’s got?” I ask, sitting down and straightening my skirt. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s not as if he has to work...” I say, looking meaningfully at Brian.

“No, I don’t need to do it, but I want to do it. It’s only one day over lunch.” Gus trots out his age old argument.

“I think that it’s a great idea. Nothing wrong with wanting to work.” Norman, once again, doesn’t back me up.

“Oh, that reminds me. Remember, I’m going to take Effy to work so that she can do some tastings with us…”

“Really Gus? When?” She looks excited.

“Oh Edna-Fanny, we’ve got a girl’s afternoon at my boutique this Friday afternoon, when you have your free period.”

“That’s when.” Gus sighs and then goes to the laptop. “Mom, you haven’t put that in, which is why I told my soon to be boss and Emmy that she was coming. I can’t not turn up with her. It makes me look stupid.”

“Gus, perhaps you should’ve cleared it with your parents first.” I point out smartly.

“He asked me and I said it was fine.” Norman tells me...no lisp, I notice!

“But I have closed the boutique especially.”

“In that case, you can come in and do some admin for me at the garage. Since you’re going to be free for the afternoon and all.”

“Sorted.” Brian is definitely smirking. “Okay, Ted’s set off. We should get there at the same time if we go now.” Brian remarks as he reads a text on his phone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to change, mom?” Gus inquires.

“No, thank you.” I tell him firmly. “And Edna-Fanny, try not to eat too much. We want you to grow up, not out.” I smile.

“Wow PAM, mom?!” She retorts and glares at me.

“What does that mean?” I ask as Gus tugs her outside.

“Passive aggressive much and the answer to that is much too much!” Brian glares at me.

“You’ve not changed one…” Ben begins, but then stops when Brian shakes his head.

“What did I do? She knows I’m just teasing her!” I object.

“That’s the thing, Lindth. She doesn’t find your brand of teasing funny.” Norman gripes. “After you all, I need to lock up.”

BURGATORY - AN HOUR LATER

GUS

I lead them to the table and wait for them to stop their conversation with Amy. They adopted her before they found out she was slowly going deaf. At first, her school thought she was being obstinate when she wouldn’t follow directions. But once they realised the issue, they began to teach her ASL and she came along by leaps and bounds. Man, she is scarily intelligent! She and Effy adore each other despite the age difference and Effy took up ASL especially. She’s going to teach us, but until we’re up to speed, we use notebooks. Seems that Ben has a bit of a fan in Effy, as she practically flings herself into the seat next to him.

“First my son and now my Effy!” Dad grumbles, but he’s smiling as Amy clambers onto his lap. After her daddies, it’s Uncle Brian she loves. “I am very well, Amy. Thank you for asking.” Dad writes. “This is my friend, Ben. Ben, this is Amy.”

We watch amazed as Ben signs hello to Amy and she’s thrilled! She then introduces him to her daddies; even though he has met them before.

“What is she saying?” Mom asks, closing her notebook and facing away from Amy. I see the flicker of annoyance cross Ted’s face.

“Lindsay, please do not turn your face away from her. It’s rude.” Uncle Blake tells her.

“Sorry.” She says tightly and I catch the look that Norm gives her.

Now I have to admit to being surprised by my stepdad, Norm. I mean, I love the guy, not as much as dad obviously, but he’s been a complete surprise to me. He doesn’t understand the gay lifestyle, but he’s never shitty about it. Unlike mom, who is a rank hypocrite. If she thinks I don’t know about Melanie, she’s got another think coming! That’s the thing about being a kid, especially a kid with the Stud of Liberty Avenue as a father. They assume you know everything already! I have to admit that I would love to have met Leda. She sounds like a real pistol. She called mom on her shit time and time again until mom told Mel to choose...and she was surprised when Mel chose her best friend. Not in that sense, but because she, according to sources, gave Mel the confidence to go do what she wanted to do, which was go work for the United Nations. So she left both of them, but Emmy Lou says that she and Leda are still in touch.

“She was just asking how come I know her favourite Uncle. And checking that I am being nice to him.” Uncle Ben replies and then signs some more. “I just said that I knew him from big school and I promise be very kind to him.”

“Uncle Ben, can you help teach us sign language? Please!” Effy signs. “I’m trying to teach everyone, but we will get further with you and me doing it, won’t we?” Amy almost nods her head off and does the pretty please face.

“Well since I am not going to do much for a couple of months, why not.” Uncle Ben signs back and I have never seen two girls smile so hard! “Do you want me to order for everyone so that…oh sorry Blake, Ted, I didn’t mean to…”

“No, it’s absolutely fine. Carry on.” Uncle Blake laughs.

Amy is in her element as Ben asks her what she thinks people should have. Dad glowers as he knows that he asked for salad and that’s not what Uncle Ben told Amy. This was confirmed when a burger the size of a mountain arrives. At first, I think that dad is mad, but then Amy tells him that she ordered it so that she and he can share. Mom looks a little pissed off when she gets a salad and that’s it! I noticed that Effy was trying not to giggle!

BEN

I try not to laugh as Lindsay picks at her salad. Effy signing that Amy chose it because she didn’t want to get her blouse dirty, was a stroke of genius! And after her comment earlier, it was totally justified! We decide to get some more drinks and after making sure our seats are saved by our girlfriends, we head to the bar.

“Jesus!” Brian suddenly mutters looking across the room.

“What did you spot, Kocky?”

“A 12 o’cock blond.” He murmurs back.

“Blond is not normally your type.” I quirk an eyebrow.

“You’re more of a dirty one...” He returns.

“12 o’cock or 12 o’clock?” I lean against the bar.

“More like 3pm...what an afternoon delight that would be!”

JUSTIN

Molly and I are on recon for all the restaurants in the surrounding area, but I got stuck looking at two guys at the bar. I’m trying to work out if they are together as in a couple. They were both sitting with adorable girls on their laps, but I don’t think they came in with them. They are definitely close judging by the easy way they are with each other. As I look back up, I watch the brunette hoist the little girl into his arms and then check behind him before allowing her to take a tiny sip of his beer. And I think to myself...Hero would love him!