CHAPTER 30 - CAT’S IN AND CAST OUT
CHIQUE BOUTIQUE - TUESDAY EARLY AFTERNOON, 10 DAYS LATER
LINDSAY
I have to admit that I thought they would’ve broken by now. But no, they are still ignoring me, which would rankle more if it wasn’t for the dinner invitations I have been receiving from Catherine. She could teach Norm a thing or a thousand about how to give pleasure both sexually and intellectually. And speak of the devil, the door opening heralds the arrival of Sir Corpulence himself...I knew it!
“Lindsay.” He says coolly as he looks round my store. “You’ve smartened up the place, I see.”
“Well I have to make my boutique attractive to customers since I will be supporting myself soon.” I say quietly with eyes downcast.
“That’s good business sense. Anyway, here’s your post. I would’ve bought it sooner but there was a rush at the garage, helping out at Soup and Drop and the Vaseline Tower and then the committee meetings. I was surprised you weren’t there last Friday, but I must say I am looking forward to the triple hosting day. See you.”
He leaves me gawking in his wake...good business sense? Good fucking business sense?!
“Uh, Norman.” I call out just before the door closes; he sticks his head back in. “I have been unwell so couldn’t attend the committee meetings. Could you catch me up?”
He frowns and then shrugs before approaching the counter. “Well the only thing I can catch you up on, is the joint awareness meeting between the YEP sponsors, the GLC and your committee. Anyway, it’s next Saturday at 1100 at City Hall.”
“Th-thank you, Norman. Like I said, I have been unwell with the stress and everything.” I reply quietly and wait for his reaction...nothing! “So how are the children?”
“We’re fine. In fact, more than fine, thank you for asking… Oh wait, you didn’t ask before Daddio came here, so you clearly didn’t care.” Effy steps from behind her father and I wince at her countenance and her tone.
“Effy, we both...I mean all…”
“Once again, like Uncle Brian said...you, you and you made these mistakes. Which, me, myself and I am not prepared to forgive you for just yet. So keep making those cow eyes at Daddio and not me!”
“Effy, why don’t you go and see Gus to see if you can get him down from that pedestal he’s put himself up on!” Norman laughs and Effy nods grinning.
“Okay, Daddio. Don’t be long or taken in, okay?” She gives me one last filthy look before leaving.
“She gets that from you.” He says softly. “But uses it for the right purpose.”
“What?” I grimace slightly.
“Her ability to rightfully hold a grudge.” He rubs his cheek meaningfully. “And the ability never to forget is from me. You hit me Lindsay. I will never forget that.”
“I was…”
“You always were. It’s always been there... your temper, I mean and...you had best be grateful it was me you hit when you were that mad and not Effy, because I would’ve done exactly what Effy did. And my corpulence carries a lot more weight.”
I gasp at the unfamiliar coldness I see in his eyes. “Norman...”
“No, I won’t be taken in anymore. You need to do some major and honest emotional reparation to this family before we even begin to think of taking you back. And since you’ve not begun to make an effort in the last 10 or so days, you won’t know that the locks have been changed. Now you do.” He pushes back against the counter, straightens his coat then walks out without another word.
GUS’S LOFT - 30 MINUTES LATER
EFFY
My brother is the coolest! Well he has to be since Uncle Brian is his Daddio. I get to his...no their...building and find my keys. But before I can even use them, the door is opened. “Hey Effy!” Graham, or 2C as he’s also known, smiles at me. “How’s the Liberty Avenue Princess today?” I blush as ever since I said what I said to Mom, everyone has been calling me that or Daddio Defender. It was Aunt Leda who started it and now...well it’s taken a bit of getting used to...but it’s nice.
“Fine thanks, Graham. How’s you?”
“Good, good. Off to play chess. I’ve been getting lessons. I am determined to beat him today!”
“Good luck with that. You can’t beat Uncle Brian and my very much single Uncle Vic taught him.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” He looks thoughtful.
“I told you loads of times that he taught him…” I sigh dramatically.
“No the single part. May have to change my shirt. You got a few minutes?”
I am stunned for a few seconds. “I say single every single time! Come on, text him that you are going to be about ten minutes late. Seriously, I despair of the men in my life...if I didn’t shove, nobody would get laid!”
LFD
THE SMOKERS
JUSTIN
I taste it again and nod before my phone beeps for the umpteenth time. We’re wasting away here! I giggle at his impatience and decide to call him instead. “I do believe it has reached your level of epicurean perfection. Do you want me to...oh okay. Yes, I have changed it to cabbage...no, I am definitely not sighing or grumbling about anything!” I go red as he reminds me that the last time he caught me grumbling about one of his recipes...he deep throated me in the kitchen, which was great if it wasn’t here and Molly didn’t come in! I am tempted to point out that this is my recipe, but I have a big event tonight!
“So what did his lordship say?” Vic pokes his head in.
“He’s on his way.” I laugh. “Vic, can I ask a question about Michael?”
“Sure.”
“Why does he hate me?”
“He doesn’t. He’s just jealous of you. And it’s not just because of what you’ve achieved business wise... He has always lusted, well everyone pretty much has, after Brian from afar and he can’t understand what Brian sees in you. And of course, then there’s Molly. She just waltzed away with Eric and that’s not helped to endear the Taylor family to him! He’d love a chance with Brian. But even stoned out of his gourd, Brian wouldn’t tap that.”
“Stoned out of his gourd?” I laugh at his euphemism. “I must add that to my ever growing list of Vic-isms!”
“Where is my food, Sunshine?!” Brian bellows from the kitchen back door. He refuses to come anywhere near the smokers after his this season Armani got the world’s tiniest hole at the elbow where it caught on a nail, which led to the world’s biggest sulk.
“Just coming!” I yell back and slice some of the smoked beef cheeks and head in to feed my other beast.
VIP TABLE - 15 MINUTES LATER
“You have some juice on your chin.” I point out as he eats his smoked beef sub with finely chopped bacon and green cabbage.
“Take it off.” He mumbles and I reach for a napkin, but he shakes his head and then waves the remains of his sub. “This. Take it off.” I frown and he holds up a finger and finishes chewing. “There is no way in fuck anyone but me is having this, so take it off the menu.” I beam at him. “I really needed this as I finally get to face the pussy!” He sighs dramatically.
“I’ve seen her. She’s nice and…”
“She...a pussy, who is a pussy...oh God!” He slumps against the booth and looks beneath his lashes at me. “He’d better at least try to like cock or I shall have that test redone!”
GUS’S LOFT - EARLY EVENING
LOUNGE
GUS
We were all set to have a face-off between Moon, Dad and Nikita. But Dad took one look at her and said, good taste in pussy, Sonny Boy. You need to bring her to the studio on Friday. I have an idea. Moon, on the other hand, has clearly never seen a cat before and he was just staring at her and then learned swiftly that cats do not like having their butts sniffed by dogs!
The rest of the pack...as we have taken to calling them...will be meeting her on Friday, I guess.
I have to admit that I thought I would miss Mom more, but I don’t miss her at all. In fact, I miss Norm more and of course, Effy. I’ve just got a bit of homework to finish and then watch some TV.
“Sonny Boy! Can you come up for a minute?!”
“Sure dad!” I call back up. Man, I love living here!
As I take the stairs two at a time, I am smiling to myself when that plummets to the ground as I see Mom.
“Seems someone has remembered you live here now…” Dad snarks. “...need me, Sonny Boy?”
“No, thanks. She won’t be here long enough for you to even leave the room!”
“Gus, I am sorry for what...” She turns her cow eyes on me now.
“Like Norm said before coulda, shoulda, woulda. Bye now. Dad, I’m going to watch TV and stroke my pussy…”
“Sonny Boy!” Dad splutters. “Beam burns when it is snorted up your nose!” He coughs with eyes streaming.
“When you two have quite finished being so juvenile!” She carps, glaring at us both as we are snorting with laughter, which makes us laugh harder. “I will see you on Saturday at the hosting, where I hope you behave with a bit more maturity!” As she turns to leave, she lets out a shriek of disgust. “That dog peed on my bag!” She screeches and snatches it off the floor to inspect the damage. “Inside my bag! Inside my fucking bag!”
“Is it your bag or a goodwill one?” Dad snickers now with tears streaming down his face.
“It is my bag as in I paid for it! I have to go and get this cleaned off immediately. That wretched dog is no longer welcome in my house!”
“Give us the address and we’ll make sure not to bring him round.” I retort as she flounces to the kitchen to grab some paper towels to soak up Moon’s little present. He is such a good dog.
“Hey, Sunshine. Is there any of that smoked beef left? Moon has done something that he needs to be rewarded for…”
She slams the door very hard!
FILM STUDIO, USA THERAPY DOGS ADVERT - FRIDAY AFTERNOON
HERO
We have been practising this all day and I know some of my pack are flagging, including some of the Mommies and Daddies. I think we are at the end of it, but we have to have one more test. To make sure we are focused.
“Okay Sonny Boy, you can bring her in now!”
“Moon? What is the matter with you? You have been getting more excited as the day ends, not less.”
“I can’t say, Hero! I promised Daddy and Little Daddy, but it’s soon and you’ve got to be careful of the other end!”
“Other end?”
The door opens and Little Daddy comes in with a crate. Immediately, I peer at it and recognise that smell and wag my tail a little. Even though we are supposed to be sworn enemies, I have to admit that I do like…
“That’s the funniest looking dog I have ever sawed!” Star exclaims as he peers at her.
“That is not a dog, Star…” Blue tells him gently. “...that’s a cat. You’ve heard of cats, haven’t you?”
“Yes!” He wags his tail. “But I’ve never sawed one. Wow! She’s biggerer than Daisy and I think prettier!”
“Pish posh!” Daisy snorts indelicately...I am so proud of how much dog like she’s been getting. No more of these painted nails as she digs holes, though she was told off for digging a hole in the flat green bit of the garden where the little hard white balls go. “...nobody is prettier than...oh my, she’s beautiful!” Her little tail is wagging so hard! “Do you think we can go and talk to her?”
“Yes, yes you can. She’s my Little Daddy’s cat!” Moon wags his tail. “Oh don’t sniff the other end guys, she doesn’t like it...”
“I do like it, but not from a dog.” A soft voice interrupts Moon’s talk and we all look at her. “So, since I know you Moon, will you do the honours and introduce me to the rest of your pack, please? Starting with the Alpha Male, who I think is you?” She looks at me and then Moon looks at me for guidance.
“I am and you may, Moon.”
He puffs out his little chest with pride and makes the introductions, but it’s when she’s introduced to Daisy that she changes. “Oh what an adorable little thing you are, Daisy!”
“I am! That’s what my Smiling Daddy calls me. Adorable!”
“If I may ask, Nikita, why are you here?” Shiitake tilts his head.
“I am part of the control. Between you and me…” She looks over her shoulder. “I have no idea what that means, but Little Daddy is very happy about this and so here I am. Oh here is Little Mommy, Moon, we must go and say hello!”
As she trots off in front of us with Daisy following closely behind, I catch Moon’s hopeful look and nudge him. “Yes Moon, she can be an honorary dog.”
“Thank you, Hero! Thank you! Nikita! Nikita! Hero said yes!” He runs after her shouting at the top of his lungs.
“That little boy...” I chuckle to myself. “...he’s going to be a great dog!”
“Even betterer than you, Hero?” Star asks, trotting slowly as his legs are still a bit wobbly from the last nasty man.
“Nobody can be betterer than Hero. Nobody!” Moon calls back over his shoulder.
LINDSAY’S APARTMENT - EVENING
LOUNGE
LINDSAY
It has been 4 days since Norman told me about the Joint Awareness Event and Catherine has not said a word! I am Co-Chairwoman and I should be told! She is coming for dinner tonight, but we are discussing this first! I open the door to her knock and she sweeps in then tries to kiss me on the cheek, but I step back.
“What’s wrong?” She asks, frowning.
“What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow evening, you know what’s happening. I have a dinner with my husband and a couple of business associates. I told you this.”
“Not in the evening, I mean during the day. What is happening during the day?”
“Ah, I see. Well I wanted to talk to you about that. I bought you these.” She hands me a beautiful box of chocolates. “To soften the blow.”
“Soften the blow? Why?” I put the gift on the sofa.
“They don’t want you there.” She says quietly. “That’s why I haven’t told you about it before. I have been trying to get them to change their minds but they are not budging.”
“Who doesn’t want me there? Who’s not budging?” I demand, my cheeks flaming.
“The boards of GLC and YEP. They are very happy for us to participate, but not with you as co-Chairwoman at this particular event.”
“But, this is a very prestigious event and…”
“That’s why they don’t want and I quote a galloping gloryhound taking over.”
I sit down so fast that I crush my chocolates!
https://www.moonshinebbq.com.au/smoked-beef-cheeks/