CHAPTER 35 - REALITY BITES AND WE WILL BE DANCING...YEAH!

CHASE AND LAW, ATTORNEYS - FRIDAY AFTERNOON

NORMAN

I’ve always thought that you don’t know how much you are thought of, both good and bad, until you need help. I am waiting for Martin Law to come in with our folder. I called him this morning to explain what was happening with Lindsay and I, including what Ted found out about her books, and he insisted that I come in this afternoon.

“Sorry about the wait, Norman. Right, let’s see here. Aha, the prenup! Did she happen to mention when this audit was happening?”

“Next Wednesday.”

“Great, that gives us enough time. Now, are you absolutely sure that…”

“Over definitely.” I cut him off.

“Right, so I will file the papers today. They will be with her by tomorrow and then she is up shit creek without a paddle as far as the audit is concerned…”

“Why? I mean I was bluffing with her, which is why I am here. But you…”

“Lindsay’s arrogance, amongst other things, is her downfall. She had a couple of clauses put in as a joke…”

“What clauses?” I frown.

“The one that states that the boutique reverts to her sole ownership in the case of legal separation or actual divorce. Which means that any liabilities are hers, and hers alone. I will file today invoking Injured Spouse, especially on the taxes. And you, Norman, retain the ownership of the  garage. She didn’t think you would make it as big as you have. Then there’s the No Infidelity clause, which entitles you to spousal support and child support for Edna-Fanny. Lord knows I hate that name; such a terrible thing to do to a child! If I could, I would sue her for child abuse on that name alone. But thankfully, hereinafter she’ll be referred to as Effy.”

I chuckle remembering what Effy said, but then clear my throat to get back to the business at hand. “But I have this letter that says I own 15% of…”

“Unless certified by a public notary, it’s not worth the paper it’s written on. So in essence, she’s screwed herself over.”

I sit back and shake my head in despair.

“Pregnancy aside, I never understood the pair of you. You are too much of a good person. Right, so let’s get this written up…oh and one more thing, let all her calls go to voicemail.”

“Actually, there is one other thing you could do for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Can you change…”

“Please say I can change her name legally to Effy? Please!” He pleads and laughing, I nod.

BRANDON’S HOUSE - EARLY EVENING

BEN

I am still stunned. It’s not that I don’t want to move in... far from it. It’s just I never thought he would gather up the, and I know it sounds odd, courage to ask me. Just flat out ask like, you know you spend a lot of time here, which is good, so do you want to move in? Just like that!

“I would love that.” I finally get my mouth to work.

“Great.” He smiles, but I see the fear in his eyes and want to let him handle his emotions about this his way. But he’s gone quiet, which is a sure sign that he’s retreating.

“Brandon.” I say his name, but don’t touch him.

“I was expecting you to say no.” He replies quietly. “I had this speech all planned out,  justifying what I wanted and how it would work if you would just try.”

“Here.” I hand him a piece of paper I tore out of my notebook and he looks confused. “You had a speech, but you no longer need it. So tear it up and throw it away.”

“Ben, that’s silly.” He snorts, but is staring at the paper.

“Imagine the words are on there. So...tear it up and throw it away.”

At first, I don’t think he’s going to do it, but then the he does and the smile on his face makes my heart soar.

“So when do I move in?” I wrap my arms around him and kiss him on the nose.

“Whenever you want to.” He mumbles into my neck.

“I have to give Kocky a bit of notice. I can’t just up and leave him like that, even if he does have Moon, Gus and Nikita.”

“True.”

“Let me do it now.” I reach for my phone and dial my best friend. He answers laughing and I can hear Gus and Justin in the background. “Hey Kocky, Brandon has asked me to move in with him…”

“You better have said yes, Buck!” He orders. “You two are us, but with sex. He’s a good man...am I on speaker?”

“Yes, you are and thank you!” Brandon laughs and then heads upstairs.

“It’s just us now.” I close the kitchen door. “You okay with this?”

“Yes, I’m fine with it. Look how about we go out tomorrow, hang on... Justin! Are you working tomorrow night?”

“No, oh I have my schedule for you. Vic and Molly are covering tomorrow. I just need to prep during the day.”

“Schedule? You have his schedule?” I tease.

“Fuck off. No, not you, Justin. I’m talking to Bucky. Want to go to Babylon tomorrow night? Yes, I’m talking to you now, Justin. Jeez!”

“Yeah! I haven’t danced in a while.”

“Hang on a sec…” I head to the door. “Brandon, want to go to Babylon tomorrow night?”

“Yeah!” He shouts back.

“We’re in!”

“Okay, that’s set. Need to check with Norm that he can have the kids and the pups.”

“Already calling him, dad!” Gus calls out.

An hour later, everyone is confirmed, even Heathan and Stanley. And I have a whimpering with pleasure, his eyes bright and clear, Brandon, pinned against the shower wall.

ALBERT AND MICHAEL’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

ALBERT

“Michael!” I call out as I enter and then freeze. Once again, he has left his cereal bowl on the fucking table! I take it up and head to the kitchen where there are four other bowls in the sink. This is so very annoying! Me and my friends, like a clean atmosphere. I strip off my clothes and put on my shower cap before, once a-fucking-gain, washing up the dishes. When I am finished, I head upstairs to the sanctuary of my bathroom and again, I freeze. Someone has been in here. I scrutinise my things and yes, my toiletries have definitely been used. Unacceptable! I respect his personal space; he has to respect mine. Not happy, not happy at all!

“Albert! Are you in?” I hear him call out.

“Yes, in the bathroom! Won’t be long, have something to tell you!”

“I have something to show you!”

“Lord god, please don’t let it be another toy!” I sigh and head downstairs.

He has rolls under his arms and he places them reverentially on my table. I want to scream!

“What do you think?” He unfurls a body length poster of his hero.

“It’s okay. Where are you going to put it?”

“Okay? What do you mean it’s okay?! As for where, on the wall of course. Like the rest of them.”

Rest of them? There’s about 12 rolls there...oh no...no definitely not!

“Michael, they can’t go on the wall. You know that my friends need sunlight and…”

“But you said I could put them up in my bedroom. That’s what you said.”

“Do not whine and do not repeat me back to me. I have an eidetic memory so I am fully aware of what I did or did not say. I said you can put up one poster and assumed that you would use that to block the window.”

“But Albert...it’s a series and it would give me comfort and…”

“Heathan and Stanley are going to Babylon with Brian Kinney tonight.” I interrupt because as far as I am concerned, the conversation is done. I said no and that’s that!

“You are kidding me? When did they get so buddy-buddy?”

“Maybe after the dinner. By the way, you need to empty the bin.” He frowns and makes his way to the kitchen. “No, not that bin. The one in your bedroom with the stinky clothes in it. You need to empty it; they are getting beyond ripe.”

“But I put the clothes in the bin in here...”

“I noticed. So I moved it back to your room since you need to empty it.”

“Albert, I think you and I need to discuss the rules of the house…”

“Yes, I am glad you said that. Wash up after you eat. Do not go in my bathroom and use my toiletries…”

“No, what I meant was that I have…”

“Do not interrupt when I am speaking! You are not, once again, the Captain in this house! I am doing you a favour. Do try to remember that. I don’t need the money you’re not paying nor the company so at the end of the day, Michael, you need me more than I need you. So are you going to Babylon tonight?”

MICHAEL

Furious! I am fucking furious, but I shall let him have his little grandstanding moment. So I just nod. I have been doing what I want for many a year and I am not fucking stopping now!

“Well have fun and don’t come home hammered or too late please.”

LINDSAY’S APARTMENT - AN HOUR LATER

I stare at the contents of the envelope in disbelief. He’s going through with it! He’s going to divorce me! And claim spousal support for himself and child support for Effy? Well he can fuck off with that! I pace as I wait for him to pick up. He doesn’t!

BABYLON - EARLY SUNDAY MORNING

BRIAN

“I have seen dancing. What you were doing was not dancing!” I growl into Justin’s ear as we rest against the bar.

“What was it then?”

“Air fucking, definitely air fucking.” I laugh and pull him against me. “Oh my kitten will need a bath when he gets home.”

He turns around and loops his arms over my neck “Can I have a chocolate one please?”

“Taps or chest?”

“Chest definitely.”

“Then yes, you can.” I accept his kiss of thanks and he turns back around to watch the crowd and subtly grind against me.

“Hi, Brian!” Michael’s voice causes instant corpse dick! “The gang’s all here!”

“Yes our gang, not your gang...but ,oh wait, you don’t have a gang. Having a friend doth not a gang make!” Brandon snipes, from the near identical position of Justin, Emmy and Heathan. All resting against the chests of their partners...there I said it!

“I have friends! It’s just that Albert is busy and Royston is…”

“Dancing up a storm with Tabs and Odette, yeah we know.” I laugh. “We’re having bets on which one is going to land him. I have Odette.”

“Well since Tabs is gay, then that’s a given!” Brandon laughs.

“Royston isn’t straight.” Michael scoffs.

“Yes, he is.” Heathan and Stanley say together.

“He came onto me!” Michael asserts, smugly.

“I did not! I removed a piece of fluff from your hair! Once! And even if I was gay, you are definitely not my type.” Royston sneers. “And before you go down the Albert path, he’s asexual, so is not interested in anyone.”

“Oh, I love this song!” Justin cries out and drags me onto the floor. “Do you know this one?” He asks as he superglues himself to me and I shake my head. “It’s Roberta Flack. Listen. Strolling in the park, watching winter turn to spring, walking in the dark, seeing lovers do their thing. Oooh oooh that’s the time, I feel like making love to you. That’s the time…”

“Home!” I order and as we leave the dance floor, I notice that Ted and Blake are hurrying away too. By the time we have our coats, it seems that Roberta has had an amazing effect on everyone and we’re all waiting for cabs. “I love you so much it hurts.” I whisper and his answering kiss tells me he feels the same. “And yes, you can have a Curly Wurly when you get home.” And there’s the sunshine smile!