CHAPTER 7 - THE TALK AND DINNER

LINDSAY

“Now excuse me.” Norman glares at me. “I would like to enjoy the rest of my meal with my daughter. Brian, can you tell me where Effy is?”

“Sure, let me call Bucky and he can come down.” Brian pulls out his phone and within minutes, Ben is down and Norman is heading upstairs.

After a few minutes, I clear my throat. “I have to say something.” I begin.

“Of course, you do. You always find a way of justifying your behaviour time and time again, no matter how wrong that behaviour is.” Brian retorts.

“With all due respect Brian, you do not have a child and…”

“He doesn’t have a child? Did you just say he doesn’t have a fucking child?! What the fuck do you call Gus? An Immaculate Conception!” Ben growls. “Get over yourself! I tried, I really did but I can stay silent no longer, Kocky. Lindsay, listen to me...are you listening?  Know this, after you it was me.”

“What was you?” I don’t understand the statement, let alone why he is talking to me the way he is.

“The man that Brian made slow, sweet and tender love to, right after he rinsed his dick off from being with you...it was me.”

I just stare at him. “You? But... but you’re his best friend!” I state weakly.

“Did he kiss you?” Ben demands.

“What?”

“When he fucked you, did he kiss you?” He repeats.

“I can’t remember. It was…” I begin, but I know I sound a bit hollow.

“The answer is no. Not once.” He sits back.

“Well I’m sure he didn’t kiss you either!” I hiss back.

“Kocky, did you kiss me when we made love?” Ben asked Brian smugly and I just want to slap him.

“Yes. I did.”

“Prove it!” I hiss, my voice sounding bitter to even my own ears. “Kiss him now!”

“Why? So you can put it into your spank bank for replays later?” Ben snaps.

“Tell Norman that I have gone home. I seem to have developed a headache.” I retort and gather my things.

“He’s still going to rip you a new one when he gets home and not in a life affirming positive way.” Ben snarks.

BEN

I wait for her to leave before I turn to face, what I think will be a furious Brian, but I find him just smiling at me. “You complete bitch!” He laughs.

“Oh, come on. It was either that or hit her and I’m a Zen Buddhist, remember?”

“Thanks.” He mutters, resting his head against my shoulder. “For what you said. I can’t believe she said that though.”

“Like I said, she’s a bitch. I’m going to go and get Norm and Effy so we can have a nicer time.”

A few minutes later, a much happier looking Effy is downstairs and is clutching her phone. “Uncle Ben, which one should be the contact picture for Uncle Brian?” She shows me the numerous pictures she has of Moonshine.

“This one, definitely this one.”

“Great! That’s my favourite, too. Look, Uncle Brian!”

Brian smiles softly. “That, like yourself, is perfection, princess. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.”

LAFF - THREE HOURS LATER

MICHAEL

Thank fuck Cyril is off this afternoon so I am now in control! I can’t believe how many people were outside that Fat Ass’s place! But that will all change, very soon. I look round at my friends and comrades in arms, now that we are all assembled, and smile.

“Gentlemen. Are you ready for my grand plan?” I ask and as always, they look expectantly at me.

“Yes, oh Captain.” Heathan smiles at me the way he does. Not that he’s my type, but there is nothing wrong with having an admirer.

“As you know the Mother of the Avenue has hung up her wig and we have a usurper in her place. Some residents have forgotten how she helped them and have displayed their gratitude by supporting said usurper, so I am going to reintroduce the infamous Novotny name to the Avenue…”

“How?” Albert asks and I look at him. “Sorry, my Captain. How, my Captain?”

“Better, you must remember that when we convene in meetings that I must be addressed correctly. As to how, first I shall conduct some recon this evening to see what they are doing and report back. But the plan is for LAFF to be turned into the old diner with me at the helm. The Avenue will return to their rightful home, leaving his place to fail.”

“What can we do in the meantime, my Captain? I mean, you can’t take on all the work yourself.” Stanley asks.

“We need uniforms, so get waistcoats and pins like my mom used to wear. Oh shit, I thought he was off for the rest of the day.” I gasp as I see Cyril, crossing the road. “Evasive manoeuvres, my men!” I order.

Heathan goes back to the grill, Stanley moves to a corner table and Albert and Royston go to the bathroom.

“Thought you were out until tomorrow.” I comment as he comes in.

“If you don’t want me to cover the evening shift so you can support Vic and Emmett tonight, I’m more than happy to go back home.” He replies.

“Goodness is that the time!” I exclaim and quickly run out.

CYRIL

Jesus, that man is a total moron! I think to myself as I head to my office. I take out the surveillance disc for the day and watch him have yet another MOTU...meeting of the unfuckables...as Vic and I have taken to calling them. Normally, I would just delete them but there’s something off about the way he’s talking. It’s almost reminiscent of those old fire and brimstone televangelism programs from the 80s. I might show this to Vic and see what he thinks, but I wonder if the imbecile remembers that this place is surveilled all day...Hmmph, I’ll bet he doesn’t. See? Total moron!

I went to the new Liberty Fine Dining and my god, the food is gorgeous! We serve a purpose here, so we can co-exist, and I love my old time clientele. But that is a much better fit for Miley. I was sad to see him go, but understood completely. I’ve never met a more ambitious or deserving young man than him so it wasn’t hard to cut the apron strings and wish him the best so he can soar.

I put the night disc in and head to my shift.

LINDSAY AND NORMAN’S HOUSE - SAME TIME

LOUNGE

NORMAN

So the cure for her headache, wasn’t to take to her ass to bed like any normal ill person. No, instead she’s gone to her boutique. Well it’s that to her, but really it’s an uppity five and dime store with low rent Big Q merchandise to the rest of us! The way she swans about like the Queen of Sheba, advising the ladies of the county how to dress is sickening! The one time she gussied Effy up, she refused to come out of the changing room, let alone the shop!

“Norman, are you home?” She calls out and I don’t answer. “Oh, thank God. Hopefully he will have...Norman!” She shrieks as she comes into the room. “Why didn’t you answer when I called? You startled me!”

“Was in mid-swallow.” I reply coolly raising my beer. “And no, I haven’t.”

“Haven’t what?”

“Calmed down about your behaviour earlier towards Effy. Please sit down and listen.”

“Norman, I’ve…”

“I will follow you all over the house, having my say so you might as well be comfortable!” I snap and she grudgingly sits down. “How were your teenage years?”

“You know how my teenage years were. After I disgraced the family by falling pregnant and then Brian refused to marry me…”

“Because he’s gay. But he did support you and Gus as much as he could as a teenager and still continues to do so.”

“And then there was their disapproval of you and subsequent disownership. Why are you asking about that?”

“Because the things that happened in your teenage years were a result of your actions. Effy is not 16, she’s 11, and more importantly she’s not you. She’s smarter than that and still has some growing up to do and…”

“I am trying to make sure she grows up properly!” She snaps.

“Grows up properly? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” I demand.

“I mean that she learns how to be a lady and not a gee...” She stutters to a halt.

“Geek? That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it? And what’s wrong with being a geek?”

“Okay, geek was the wrong word, but you have to admit that she is somewhat socially awkward and I want to correct that. Give her the best chances in life that she can get and she…”

“Wow, you just open your mouth and keep digging! I repeat, Effy is still growing into her personality and finding her true self, not the self her overly vain mother wants her to be. Back off on this shit, Lindsay or you will regret it. It’s at times of great need you find out who your friends are! I hope I have made myself clear!”

“Yes, I shall try and moderate my language for Edna-Fanny’s…”

“Please do not be a bitch and finish that fucking sentence! This is your last warning, Lindsay. Leave Effy alone.”

“How dare you call me a bitch?! I am your wife and I will…”

“I didn’t call you a bitch, I said do not be a bitch; and I call it as I see it. And as for wife, try behaving like that too!”

“It’s sex, isn’t it?! That is what this is really about? Well Norman, if you looked after yourself more I would be more inclined to be intimate with you!” She spits haughtily.

“No it isn’t, but whilst we’re on the subject... It’s a little difficult to be motivated when I know you’re thinking of pussy and not dick, and if you are thinking dick it’s not about mine! That ship has sailed, he fucked you and moved on, rather quickly I hear!

“Uh guys! I could hear you outside!” Gus yells, silencing the row. “Thank God Effy didn’t hear any of that. Now quit this shit the pair of you!”

He storms up stairs, shaking his head and muttering about immature loudmouths. I feel like crap, so I quickly follow him and wait for him to grant me access to his room.

“Gus, I’m sorry. Hey, what’s the matter?!” I gasp as I see tears in his eyes and his body is shaking. He stops me from giving him a hug and then I realise why...the little fucker is laughing!

“Which bit?” I chuckle.

“When you said, a little difficult to be motivated when I know you’re thinking of pussy and not dick, and if you are thinking dick it’s not about mine!” He’s rolling on his bed, holding his sides.

“Yeah, had to admit I did enjoy that zinger!” I snort.

“I know it’s your job as a dad, but thanks for what you said about Effy. Mom really has a knot in her knickers about her.”

“A knot in her knickers!” I guffaw. “And someone has to save her from her harridan-ness, and that person has to be me Super-Dad!”

“Well come on, Super-Dad! Got some leftovers downstairs; I can heat them up for you. The N'awlins Cajun roast beef will do wonders for your figure!”

“As is the beer I am going to have with it!” I snort.

VIC AND MICHAEL’S HOUSE - AN HOUR BEFORE FINE DINING OPENING

MICHAEL

Jesus, I didn’t think he would ever leave! I head to the attic and find a box of Ma’s old tee-shirts. She left them because Carl didn’t think his aged mother would appreciate them. I didn’t appreciate him taking my Ma away from me...still can’t believe she just upped and left like that, but when I restore the Avenue to its former glory maybe I can persuade her to come back and retake her crown!

I find the perfect tee and slip it on and then put on my shirt, I shall take it off once we are seated.

My alarm going means I have to hustle if I want to meet them in Woody’s first. I’m sure that’s where we’re meeting before dinner.

WOODY’S - HALF AN HOUR LATER

TED

I am so looking forward to this evening. Amy is with Effy at our place, they were originally going to be at theirs but Lindsay had such a headache that she couldn’t bear the thought of a noisy child in the house. I had to almost sit on Blake when she said that, as Amy doesn’t speak that much and when she does she’s very soft spoken!

Michael comes rushing in looking weirdly dapper for him. No comic book tee and proper shoes. Brian has an odd expression on his face but just shakes his head at my questioning look. I check my watch. “Come on guys we’d better get going.”

“But I have just got here, I haven’t had a drink yet.” Michael grouses.

“They do sell beers there you know.” I point out and grab Blake’s jacket to help him into it.

“Yeah but they’re most likely going to be so expensive!” He raises his voice.

“Why are you shouting?” Ben asks after draining his beer.

“Wasn’t aware that I was.” He replies giving Ben some serious side eye, which does not go unnoticed.

“And what was that look for?”

“You sounded like you were telling me off, I didn’t like it.” He snipes. “You’re not in school now.”

“First, it’s you’re not in university and I know I’m not there, as I’m here having this inane conversation with you. Which ends now.” Ben’s death glare for emphasis has the desired effect. But that also means we have a sulking Michael in residence!

“Girls stop it, come on we’re going to be supportive, so let’s get our asses over there, and we can’t be late.” Brian points out and grabbing Ben by his buckle tows him out.

“Why does he keep doing that?” Michael bitches.

“What?” Blake asks making Michael go ahead of us.

“Grabbing him like that. They’re not fucking still are they? You know he’s fucked him more than once? You can ask Emmett.”

“Michael, Michael, Michael...yes they are fucking...they are fucking with your head. Now watch where you’re going and stop dawdling!”

LIBERTY FINE DINING - DINING OPENING

KIKI

Oh my goodness, the great and the good of the Avenue are here. We’re just waiting for the boys, they have the VIP Chef’s table reserved. And here they come!

“Good evening gentlemen, welcome to Liberty Fine Dining, my name is Kiki and I am your hostess for this evening. May I take the name of the reservation please?”

“Ted Schmidt.” Ted replies grinning and playing along.

“Thank you, Mr Schmidt. This way gentlemen.” I smile back.

Molly is talking to a food blogger about the menu. Emmy and Justin are behind the bar and Emmy has to stop himself from waving and running over to the table. Justin looks a little bit more relaxed when he sees us, but on seeing Michael he tenses up slightly but when Emmy whispers in his ear he relaxes again.

“This is your waiter Miles, I shall leave you in his capable hands.”

MICHAEL

I look around and still can’t believe what this fucker has done to the Novotny legacy! I can’t see Uncle Vic anywhere, I need him to be here for the full effect.

“Good evening gentlemen.” The waiter interrupts my thoughts. “May I get some water for the table?”

“Isn’t it customary to introduce yourself to the table first?” I demand and he frowns. “You’re our waiter right? Waiters have names, so what is yours?”

“Miles, as Kiki said when he was introduced to us when we sat down.” Blake tells me.

“Oh. Well Niles you can get me a beer... what do you have on tap?”

“Well sir, we have…”

“Wait Niles, aren’t you going to show me the drinks menu? I want to make sure you have it correct…”

“Miles, can you give us a moment please?” Ted asks and he steps away, but before he can say anything Uncle Vic comes up.

“Michael a word with you right now!” He orders, I am about to say something but he’s looking at me like he’s never looked at me before, so I follow him outside.

VIC

“What the fuck were you thinking with that tee-shirt?!” I snarl at him.

“What’s wrong with the tee-shirt? This is Liberty Avenue or has everyone forgotten?! Did the poor new restaurant owner feel offended?”

“Justin didn’t say anything, it was another patron who told me about your eat my cock sartorial misstep! And as for the way you are behaving to Miles, it’s disgusting and Debs would be ashamed of you! Now, if you want to continue to eat in here go to the bathroom and take the tee off and clean up your fucking manners! And bring your loyalty to your family and friends back with you...and as you seem to have forgotten, let me remind you who that is, it would be Emmy and me!” I open the door and glare at him. “What’s it going to be? In or out?”

He looks like he’s going to storm off but goes inside and straight to the bathroom. I shake my head and follow him in.

MICHAEL

Loyalty! He has the nerve to say that after not helping me! I stalk back to the table, slump down crossly and wait for someone to say something, but nobody does.

“That was so unprofessional.” I state and they, finally, turn to look at me.

“Yes it was, considering you are in the same profession. For you to be so discourteous was very unprofessional. We’ve ordered our appetizers already, so you might want to get yours in.” Blake retorts.

“I’ll wait for the main. I’m just going to have beer.” I signal Niles and order a beer in a clean glass...as I’m aware how many teething problems new openings can have. The beer when it comes is perfectly chilled and, much to my annoyance, really good! And when their appetizers come they look really great. And now I’m starting to get hungry.

“These are perfect!” Brian mumbles round a mouthful of oysters. “For god sake Bucky, if you wanted them then you should’ve ordered them! Stop it! No, I am not sharing!”

“It’s not as if you need their powers! Just one!” He begs...so unbecomingly...Brian shakes his head and moves the plate away. “Be like that. Miles, can we have another lot of oysters please!”

“Of course right away sir.”

They take ages over their appetizers each sampling the others! I am starving here! Finally, after what seems like an hour they are finished and Niles comes back to take our mains.

“What the hell is oxtail?” I demand.

“The tail of a cow. I’d have thought that was obvious.” Brian retorts, seems that Bucky has pissed him off!

“Sounds revolting. Isn’t there any pasta?” I look expectantly up at Niles.

“No sir there isn’t, but…”

“Can’t a special order be made up? Or…”

“Miles, sorry can you give us a few minutes. Thank you.” He turns to me with his death glare look and leans in closer. “Cut this the fuck out!” Brian snaps and I frown. “I thought you were going to behave now that you’re back here and without that tee-shirt on. Now either order what is on the menu or fuck off! You haven’t got the job here, get over it and grow the fuck up!”

“How did you know about the tee?” I demand feeling my face flush as they are all glaring at me, including Emmett, Fat Ass is nowhere to be seen. “Did Uncle Vic tell you?”

“No, I could see it through your shirt and told him to get you to take it off.”

“You told…” I gasp.

A woman comes up to the table. “Excuse me sir, but could you please leave?”

“Me?” I gasp at the nerve of this woman.

“Yes you, you are ruining a wonderful dining experience for everyone here, if you want to be a fucking barrow boy find a gutter to do it in.”

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Annalise Gordina Isabelle Stroud at your service and…”

“Why should I care about that?” I snap my voice rising.

“Because I am the partner in this business. As is normal restaurant practice, management and partners reserve the right to refuse service. Consider yourself refused!” She barks and the room goes quiet and people start to come out from the diner side to gawp. “Now here is your coat, there is the door, please use it.” I look around and hold my ground. “I can easily carry you out. And I will.”

“Well I wouldn’t want to eat here anyway!” I snap and snatch my coat and stalk out.

BRIAN

“Wow, thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome, interesting friend you have there.” She smiles.

“Right now I’d say more acquaintance, a very distant one!” I chuckle. “So when did you partner up with Justin and Molly?”

“I didn’t. But if you say something with enough confidence people, especially lame brained dickless wonders like him, believe you.” She looks round the table. “So do you know Justin and Molly personally?”

“Yes why?”

“Could you get me an intro please? I’ve got a Youth Education Program opening in Shadyside and have teamed up with the GLC to host a fundraiser. Am wondering if I could use them for the food. This is seriously good.”

“Of course. Hang on. For catering, the person you need to speak to would be Emmett Honeycutt.” I wave at him and he comes quickly over, looking worried, but relaxes when I wink at him. “You got a business card on you?”

“Of course why?” Emmett answers warily.

“Give it to this lady, she is Annalise Gordina Isabelle Stroud, she needs a caterer.” I order him gently.

“Pleased to meet you, this is my card. May I have your number so that I can recognise it when you call?”

“Sure, here you go. And I don’t suppose, you know Brian Kinney or anyone in Kinnetic at all?” Annalise inquires.

“Yeah I do.” I smirk and she chuckles.

“For real?”

“For real, give me your card. Wait Shadyside...this the thing you were telling me about Bucky?” I ask Ben.

“Yep.” He nods around a mouth full of food.

“Why don’t you join us?” I indicate Michael’s vacated seat.

“I can’t am with the ‘rents, and they are already mad at me for intervening. I’d better get back. Nice to meet you all, I’ll definitely call you tomorrow Emmett.”

As she heads back to her table, I hear Ted’s oft heard at work oh my god intake of breath and turn to him. “What’s up?”

“This is her and her A-Gay stock index is stratospheric!” Ted spills enthusiastically.

I take his phone off him and start to read. “Honeycutt, arrange a firm afternoon time for a call and then come to the office, we’ll do it there.” I command.

“Don’t call…” He pauses. “That big?”

“Yeah that big. Pull this off and you will have New York and Cali at your fingertips.”

“Fuck me!” He breathes.

“Been there, done that!” I snicker and Blake chokes on his wine.

“Bri!” Ted exclaims clapping him on the back and handing him some water and a napkin. “Stop that! Blake, he’s kidding!”

“Oh I see.” He croaks out.

TED

“Besides…” Emmy smirks. “There can only be one King in bed…”

“King in bed?” Miles asks and then blushes. “I’m sorry but…”

“That’s okay sweetie, this is Brian Kinney, the Stud of Liberty Avenue or the King of the Tops and I’m Emmett Honeycutt, Top of the Bottoms...the need to dominate would be too much.”

“I see.” Miles replies, just staring at the two legends of the Avenue in awe. “My boyfriend is not going to believe this!” He mutters as he goes to get Blake another glass of wine.

“Think we should fuck with Michael’s head some?” Bucky grins evilly.

“Oh please!” Molly calls out and the dining room erupts with laughter.